FabSwingers.com forum: Advice???? Wanted or Warranted???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's been a spate of posts recently about giving advice on threads. It seems that the current school of thought is that advice should only be given if it is specifically asked for by the OP.

I think it's worth remembering that when you make a post on an open forum you are putting your thoughts into words and making them available for anyone to read and comment on, whether you want them to or not. It should not be surprising, therefore, if people do exactly that and you should not be offended if the advice you are given contradicts they thoughts you were having anyway.

If you wish to make a post but you do NOT neccessarily want any advice then make it clear that your question is a rhetorical one. (ie. a rhetorical question is one that doesn't require an answer). It's a bit rich to get arsey with someone for posting their own views on a subject that YOU made publicly available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there anything anywhere in the site rules which dictates what a person can and cannot post, so long as it remains polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, but even after stating advice is not sought, realise there's a chance you may well get someone that just has to comment, if it's posted here there will be several types of personalities reading it.

please don't quote me, or make any comments on my post, I don't want that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no, I think its just be polite (hard at times I know)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there anything anywhere in the site rules which dictates what a person can and cannot post, so long as it remains polite

Nope, there isn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

please don't quote me, or make any comments on my post, I don't want that.

OK.

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

Dose that mean we can respond in rhetorical way – or are we going to end up with a load of new threads with no responses?

Do I now need to start each posting IMO or I believe etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

please don't quote me, or make any comments on my post, I don't want that.

OK.

where's that bloody report button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could also be deemed as pulling a thread off topic ...

If a guy asks if woman would like to have sex in his truck, then a person posts implying that he's a married man cheating on his wife ..

Not so sure that could could be deemed as advice - more of a personal attack really, no matter how much it is dressed up as 'advice'

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

I think any topic posted is open to comment and opinion/advice from anyone - if it's crap advice or puerile nonsense then folk will see it and hopefully ignore it. And the reason we have mods is so that action can be taken when things go too far... but let's be honest, the most interesting threads are generally the ones where things go a bit off topic and opinionated! (Thinking of no particular members at all, honest!

)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Is there anything anywhere in the site rules which dictates what a person can and cannot post, so long as it remains polite

No, you can post what you like as long as it isn't against any rules.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

totally agree with what you've written wishy ...but i also think there's been a tendency to go off track/make assumptions that are incorrect ...and then give "advice" on that incorrect assumption.

I think thats when things can get heated as recipients of such advice will feel they have to try and justify their position, or will feel wrongly judged.

I didnt see the threads over the past few days, so this is written without reference to those..but i've seen it most often on single guys who cant accomodate. Not everyone is cheating if they cant accommodate ..in todays economic climate lots of my separating and divorced friends follow the pattern of ex wife/kids stay in the family home and guy eds up in shared accommodation or back with family.

Advice and opinions will always be here ...asked for or not...but you cant blame people for defending themselves if they feel the wrong slant has been taken from the info they give

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It could also be deemed as pulling a thread off topic ...

If a guy asks if woman would like to have sex in his truck, then a person posts implying that he's a married man cheating on his wife ..

Not so sure that could could be deemed as advice - more of a personal attack really, no matter how much it is dressed up as 'advice'"

Unless it's the wife making the claim, which she can then back up with a marriage cert, wedding ring and three hungry kids lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It could also be deemed as pulling a thread off topic ...

If a guy asks if woman would like to have sex in his truck, then a person posts implying that he's a married man cheating on his wife ..

Not so sure that could could be deemed as advice - more of a personal attack really, no matter how much it is dressed up as 'advice'"

small hint of sarcasm there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"then make it clear that your question is a rhetorical one. (ie. a rhetorical question is one that doesn't require an answer)."

PMSL at you explaining that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there anything anywhere in the site rules which dictates what a person can and cannot post, so long as it remains polite

No, you can post what you like as long as it isn't against any rules.

Thought that was the case miss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"then make it clear that your question is a rhetorical one. (ie. a rhetorical question is one that doesn't require an answer).

PMSL at you explaining that

I thought someone might get miffed for not knowing what rhetoric meant. Just heading them off at the pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Depends on what people call advice,some "advice" is uneccessary and unwarranted

If I start a thread asking who likes sex in the garden I won't expect my profile pulled to pieces

I only asked if people like sex in the garden

If I start a thread about why I can't find anyone to meet then a bit of profile advice along with general advice may be neccessary

I just don't like seeing people personal lives and preferences ripped to shreds in here and it seems its been happening quite a bit recently from the most innocent of threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you"

GLAD ABOUT THAT

you're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you"

Who ever called you a FUCKING SLAPPER is being very rude and you should report them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you"

Is it not cool to be a fucking slapper on here then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you

Who ever called you a FUCKING SLAPPER is being very rude and you should report them

That could be construed as advice you know. Are you legally licenced to offer such advice? Do you carry Indemnity Insurance? Can I shag your wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody said it to me personally it was a comment made to anyone who had a certain statement on thier profile

Kind of "tearing into someones profile and personal life" without it being warranted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you

Is it not cool to be a fucking slapper on here then?

..........................fuck I bottled it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you

Who ever called you a FUCKING SLAPPER is being very rude and you should report them

That could be construed as advice you know. Are you legally licenced to offer such advice? Do you carry Indemnity Insurance? Can I shag your wife?

No No Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Nobody said it to me personally it was a comment made to anyone who had a certain statement on thier profile

Kind of "tearing into someones profile and personal life" without it being warranted "

If you'd like to take a look at that thread the comment was taken off

so no its not ok to call someone a FUCKING SLAPPER

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so it is ok to call someone a

FUCKING SLAPPER

well that's cleared that up for me thank you

Is it not cool to be a fucking slapper on here then?

..........................fuck I bottled it

You managed to bottle one

get on Dragon's Den immediately - you'll make a fortune

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's been a spate of posts recently about giving advice on threads. It seems that the current school of thought is that advice should only be given if it is specifically asked for by the OP.

Wishy, I'll give you my personal perspective on how I see things ( I know it wasn't asked for but I hope it makes sense).

I imagine in my forum posts that I am in a social situation with the people involved ( club,pub,party,my house etc) and base my replies in the same manner as I would in real life, ( I think anyone that has met us has said I,m the same in real life as they expected from the interaction online) OK, maybe a bit fatter in real life

As such I will try to have fun, be inclusive,flirt a little with pretty ladies and generally try to have a good time. I would NOT in real life be deliberately argumentative,controversial,or confrontational just for the sake of it, I wouldn't insult or offer uninvited opinions (unless specifically asked for) at random, however in the right set of circumstancies I dont mind offering a point of view or even advice if I thought it could be beneficial to the person or general group.

Now, I may well have thoughts on things I keep to myself, ( these may have an impact on those I choose to be more freindly with than others based on my impressions of the others involved). If asked why I made these choices I may wish to explain my impressions as these may be helpful for others who are perhaps not aware of the impression they are giving to others, I'm sure everyone can benefit from a little constructive criticism from time to time.

In real life the first sentance I say to others upon meeting them is unlikely to be a criticism ( constructive or otherwise). So in forum/online life I tend to do the same.

I know I have rambled on here however I hope it makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nobody said it to me personally it was a comment made to anyone who had a certain statement on thier profile

Kind of "tearing into someones profile and personal life" without it being warranted

If you'd like to take a look at that thread the comment was taken off

so no its not ok to call someone a FUCKING SLAPPER"

Ooh, I dunno bout that.... some lasses loved being called filthy names when they got a cock buried up to the hilt in their sopping wet.... erm.... some girls like it. I'll leave it at that I think hehehe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In real life the first sentance I say to others upon meeting them is unlikely to be a criticism ( constructive or otherwise). So in forum/online life I tend to do the same.

That's pretty sound advice, Nom.

Made a lot of sense pal.

Wishy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just the OP that gets pulled to shreads.

Some people don't seem to grasp the concept that if they post something and someone has a differing opinion/point of view it's quite acceptable for them to express it. Ironically, those that are quick to jump on their high horse if you don't adhere to their way of thinking/doing things are always the first in line to lambast others!

As well intentioned as this thread is, it will saaaaaaaaaaaaaaail over the head of some!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one does not want any feedback/comments/advice from anyone, then IMHO, he/she should not post in the forums and should keep themselves to themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's simplify things, if you are not truly certain whether or not to post something, ask me first.

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

Whats the point in asking a rhetorical question ????? cos there is no answer to it.

Surely it would end up with a topic with no replies. Whats the point D'oh

Or did I miss the point.

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