FabSwingers.com forum: I don't get it

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been here a while now but haven't asked to meet anyone at any time basically because as a single guy I don't feel welcome. The vast majority of profiles state clearly that they are "not here to meet" or "not here for sex". I'm confused as to where the genuine swingers and players are.

with respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you still here then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm

There are plenty of couples out there looking for single men ...

The ones that are most successful are the ones who keep trying and get good verifications

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if you read my profile im looking for single guys/women and couples that i can see regularly, my only problem with you is the distance.

On a serious note though there are single guys on here that are just looking for a quick shag, nothing more though one can also tell as they dont read peoples profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been here a while now but haven't asked to meet anyone at any time basically because as a single guy I don't feel welcome. The vast majority of profiles state clearly that they are "not here to meet" or "not here for sex". I'm confused as to where the genuine swingers and players are.

with respect

Don't give up. I've been on here about a month now and yes - I know it's disappointing when you're all excited about doing this for the first time, checking your messages every 10 minutes, and people don't even bother to reply in the negative! Yeah me too LOL.

Anyway I met someone for the first time last week. The lady was wonderful with some swinging experience and it was a HUGE succes. She sent me and extremely complimentary Verify messge (yeah I hid it - sorry LOL) and a re-match is only days away!

So...Cheer Up, make your profile a bit more personal and friendly, make sure you post piccies to everyone that you message...and finally....

GOOD LUCK!

Regards, Tim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Click 'Browse' from the menubar at the top of the page and change your search criteria to display only those profiles from people who want to meet single guys and change the location to your area. Narrow down your searches and you may get lucky. additionally, get yourself along to one of the many socials run on this site and as you become more well known you should start getting invites to come and play.

This lifestyle is all about patience and networking. It's not a quick-fix fuckfest and attempts to get one's leg over without doing the required leg work almost always results in abysmal failure.

Good luck

Wishy.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

with respect

Why does it make members not genuine because they have preferences for women and couples ?

Do they have to play with everyone who asks or everyone on the site to make them genuine?

Confused also

There are lots of people who look for single males, but it seems to be the single males who get meets are the ones who don't complain that no one wants them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with respect

I really don't understand what you are trying to say in your post ?

Surely you cannot possibly believe your statement that the "vast majority" are not here to meet anyone ?

True there are people here who enjoy the social side of the site and swinging in general, others that like the voyeurism aspect of swinging but vast majority, no not even half or a third.

Why don't you feel welcome ? because you have had people decline your invite to meet or because many people are not looking for single males ?

Are you just telling us your views of the site or are you seeking some advice about some aspect of swinging ?

I know your post actually states that your question is where are the genuine swingers but well to be honest that's simple they are here, thousands of them, just look at profiles, look at verifications, read profiles, I am sorry but you cannot have done that if you honestly think the majority of people here don't either meet or try to arrange meets.

Is your comment because you think that everyone should play with single males and if they don't they are not swingers ?

I think looking at the replies here so far others are also a little confused at exactly what your trying to say, please elaborate, someone might then be able to give you the answers you seek if indeed you are asking a question and not just voicing your own personal opinion about the site and it's members (which is a perfectly acceptable thing to do)

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

with respect

oooh... that last sentence could come back to bite you hard, because that attitude isn't one that swingers tend to like.....trust me!! lol

not flaming you at all here... breathe in.... breathe out

okay.... let me ask you a question, with the greatest of respect of course..

if you don't feel welcome as a single guy, what have you done so far to try and rectify that situation?

for Example, Have you been into the scottish chatroom and just chatted with people (not just asked if anyone fancies a meet now, but actually just really chatted and gotten to know people!)

for Example, Have you put your name down for any of the countless scottish socials going on in various parts of scotland at the moment?

For Example, have you thought about writing more than two lines about yourself in your profiles, to get couples and ladies out there thinking "yes... wow.... I would like to get to know this guy"

what at this moment in time is seperating you from all of the other single guys out there???

here comes a phrase that most people hate, but it does tend to be true from time to time...

"you do get out what you tend to put in!"

if you make the effort.. you get rewarded!

I am not the best looking, fittest guy on the planet, I am not some smooth talker... but for me my benchmark for success was making loads of friends, getting to know people and if anything happens from there then that is a bonus for me....

I started going into the scottish chatroom 3 ish months ago.... was welcomed with open arms.... if you talk nicely to people without agenda people will talk back....

went to my first scottish social in december and had an absolute ball... going to my next social in 10 days time!!!

there are loads of single guys that are liked, you'll tend to find that they are the people that did make the effort, not just to get there leg over....

sean xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

carefull _abio, I personally think your post is excellent, good advice and very helpfull but I tried a similar advice post yesterday and got blasted to hell because the OP hadn't asked for any advice/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with respect

In your profile you say you are experienced which sort of implies you already know the answer to your own question

Others have given you some very good advice about narrowing down your search but, and this is simply my own opinion, you say you will meet anyone from 18 to 99 which does imply either desperation or a willingness to fuck anything with a pulse.

If thats the case then change nothing but understand that for some folk that is a turn off.

If thats not the case then perhaps narrow things down and be more specific.

Your profile is short and sweet but if you keep your eye on the forums you will see that some folk want war and peace with an emphasis on how well mannered and groomed you are. Maybe some more detail would help your chances.

If you do contact folk then read their profiles fully, as in FULLY, the clues are always there including in some cases a code word that must be used.

Some people are happy with a simple one liner whilst others will want a personal statement of intent, heavy on the adoration

The profile if read completely will help you decide who wants what so do your home work thoroughly.

Clubs and socials are a great way to meet folk off here and putting that high on your list of things to do will do you no harm.

Keep your eye on this thread as in amongst some of the usual barbs there will be some real nuggets of advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with respect

The 'vast majority' say that ???

What site have you been looking at ? I've just looked at 25 random profiles and not one of them say that

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"carefull _abio, I personally think your post is excellent, good advice and very helpfull but I tried a similar advice post yesterday and got blasted to hell because the OP hadn't asked for any advice/"

That may be because they guy asked about what people thought about sex in trucks and you then dissected his profile about the fact that he has no pics which he does in private like many on here and because he can't accommodate as a single guy he is more than likely cheating, as it turned out he has reasons for not accommodating

There was a whole lot more in your response about his profile than responding to his oriiginal question,thats why it got heated inthat thread and not because of the resaons you have assumed in this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

R like the others on this post have said, it's a bit of a waiting game for single guys here, not a quick fuck.

You have to really 'sell' yourself in your profile and stand out as there are many single guys in your situation.

searching for and reading appropriate profiles does help.

Fabio has also given you some sound advice. Take your time to chat to people and not go into it thinking you will get an immediate meet. Don't set time limits, just get to know people and what makes them tick.

Hope you have fun.

p.s Fabio, see you at my birthday bash soon!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

No Jed, you decided to out the guy as a cheating husband without any evidence...You often like to be Judge and Jury and it's tiring for many other members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sound advice so far in opinion . it can be hard sometimes for a new single guy to come into this , but as stated patience and no hidden agendas are a good thing . i tend to take more to the sopcial things like _abio , and if anything happens then its a bonus . you would be amazed how many times single guys come on here saying i been here for a while ( a while being anywhere from a week to 3 months ) and got nowhere , fact is there are people out there looking for single guys but you do have to work on the profile and not be here for the quick fix . the forums is a good way to gauge other members and get to know people a bit better . as is chat , way i treat chat is like a bar , you wouldnt just turn up and say right who wants a shag in a pub/bar so why do it in chat ? do go to one of the socials defo , there a great laugh in a no pressure enviroment . know all this or majority of it has been said anyway , hope it all helps good luck

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be fair jed, you got blasted on that thread for again bringing up the mans personal life....ie assuming he was married as he was asking for a meet in his truck.

He was asking for a meet in his truck not to be hauled apart for what his homelife might be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP has not asked for any advice at all on anything, his profile, his views, his experience etc.

He has asked only one question

where are all the genuine swingers

I have asked him if he would like some advice or help or if he does have any other questions about the site and swinging so that people can help him.

I did this in all sincerity so that this thread would not transcend into the same "snipe fest" as yesterdays and like yesterdays get closed down.

And here endeth my posts on that and back to the OP's subject matter for me.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Opps sorry HPC, I hadn't read the whole of this thread before I posted xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Opps sorry HPC, I hadn't read the whole of this thread before I posted xx"

Its ok im glad im not the only one who has had the same train of thought xx

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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago

Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4

do like me just wait lol eventually couples do contact you in fact after a while you will not only get the pic collectors you will get the SHE WILL BE UP FOR A MEET soon brigade too!!!

seriously though mate just be polite and dont worry about knock backs hell i even knock back some couples it comes with the territory

good luck

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

well i'm one of those people with as profile that says I'm not currently looking to meet

it says that as i have my hands more than full with wonderful people I enjoy meeting and playing with ...it would be wrong at the moment to try and meet more whom i then wouldnt have time to see, or would mean losing time with someone else. As I have a busy life away from this part of it too thats just how it is.

not sure it makes me a non genuine swinger ..just a busy one who thinks its better to say im not meeting new people rather than the arrogant looking "too busy "

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

in my experience you can get whatever you want from fab if you really want it, its out there, yeah so are the odd weirdos etc..but such is life eh?????

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I was just more interested as to why the guy felt as he wasn't welcome, and without him coming back and saying so we can only presume, that is why I asked the questions I did....

also I don't think people should be made to defend why they have what they do on there profiles, if they are not "meeting right now" they they are not... if they are not "here for sex" then they are not... it takes all sorts in the scene to make it what it is....

at times there is a difference between trying to be helpful and being condescending.... and it is getting to the stage were people are worrying about what to write because of how it may be perceived

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replies which I have just sifted through and read. Most of the replies were made in the spirit of my question... with respect and I appreciate that. I realise I could have worded my initial sentence better. However, despite what some might think I wasn't inferring at anytime that those who prefer only females or couples weren't proper swingers. I am also not just here for a quic shag. I was here before as part of a relationship and we met quite a few peeps, but its different when you're a single guy. That's all I'm saying. No harm intended and no offence intended. Thanks again to those who answered my 'sensitive' question with some dignity, civility and respect. I reiterate it's appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

single guys are in an abundance so it can be harder to get meets when there is as much choice supply and demand!! just dont give up hope as people said the forums chat and socials are a great place to network!! good luck hope u find what your lookin for!! xx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

yes it is different being a single guy in the scene from being part of a couple... but all that means in the end if that you may have to do things a bit differently than you have in the past, and maybe what you are doing now isn't working...

so what I would possibly do now is take on board some of the advice that has been given in the thread so far..... and hopefully it will hope for the future..

being on the scene as a single guy is not bad.. and people will meet you given the time to get to know you...

sean xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The last thing I want is to come across as desperate or only here for a quick shag because anyone who knows me will know that's not me. Truth is, I was just browsing last night and almost every other profile I looked at seemed to say "not here for meets". I just thought whats the point of registering for a site like this then. In hindsight I should probably have minded my own business. As I said earl;ier though, thanks for the positive replies. Always good to get involved with the community.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can I just point out that at NO time did I suggest that those not looking for single guys were not genuine swingers. If you think that then you have read my initial post wrong. I was not referring to those who say "not meeting at the moment" either. I was being more specific than that and speaking about the minority who are not here to meet people full stop! I admit last night when I started this topic it did feel like the majority of profiles I saw indicated that they weren't interested in single guys however that was a misjudgement on my part at the time, nothing more. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/02/10 22:43:19]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why are you still here then?

mate, your worthy input and expert opinion is highly appreciated and valued.

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

Bud 1 single guy to another, hang in there do your homework, these things take time.

Patience is a virtue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bud 1 single guy to another, hang in there do your homework, these things take time.

Patience is a virtue"

C'mon the single blokes.

(Even if you are married as well)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well as a single guy I think I am allowed to comment.

All it takes is the following and believe me this is gospel.

read the profile word for word cos if you don't you get caught out.

be respectful and complimentary.

Never lose your temper or patience as a single guy you are in the thousands and the people that may want to meet you are at best in tens !!! fact.

try to engage in converstaion or some form of banter.

Join the forums it cant hurt and believe me you have a laff.

I could go on but I think by now you have the gist of how things work ... just be a nice respectful guy and ... hey presto you may get to meet someone.

take your time in the sage old words of Mr Miagii

wipe on wipe off !!!!

and no funny remarks there please big bad !!!!

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