FabSwingers.com forum: Unhealthy Paranoia

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was just posting in another thread meeting locally and wanted to ask forumites a follow on question. Do you know people on here who display an unhealthy amount of paranoia about being found out, often to the point that they construct so many barriers that they rarely meet? I understand a certain amount of circumspection is required in this lifestyle but is there a point where it's too much?

For example; I'm trying to get more people through the doors of a local nightclub for a monthly LGBT night. I'd messaged some local TV's on another to let them know about it. I got a reply from one saying "I can't go out in Inverness as I know people there"

My reaction to this is, what is the likely hood of her running into someone she knows in essentially a gay club at 2am? Particularly if the reason is she's not out, all her friends are unlikely to be anywhere near a gay club on a Tuesday night!

I told her that's fine and she could come as a guy but got the same reaction.

I saw other posts on here from people who'd rather travel 100miles for a meeting than meet someone they'll run into in the local Tescos.

What's other peoples experience of this. Obviously caution is always necessary but do you know people who treat it like a cold war spy ring complete with long macs and wide brimmed hats!?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't make myself too obvious but I think it could be different for singles meeting singles or a couple in a vanilla setting...

So many more factors to think about the sophisticates ...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

easier for singles I mean ....

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I prefer meeting local people. It's easier and more convenient.

I've beem to socials and swinger parties and clubs.... Personally I don't really give a toss if someone who knows me is there.... They're there too after all.

I've met several people in my local pub for an initial meet.. There are always people I know either drinking or working in there.

I suppose I understand the paranoia if someone is cheating on a husband / wife / partner, but I'm not going to be meeting them so they don't affect me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We want to keep this a secret from our friends and family to avoid been judge by someone who knows nothing about this lifestyle, we don't have face pics public, don't even have our full names because I Mr have a very unusual name and am very well known in our town, so we don't meet anyone with in 10 miles of us, also it's ok saying someone is there for the same thing as us but if that's a single make _iew really have nothing to hide and can drop us right in the Shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My paranoia knows no bounds.

I can understand what you're saying about a small town and tv's. We might like to think that we can do whatever we want but some people are idiots and not discreet. It's not worth the hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is quite funny with TV's mind, because you wouldn't be recognised anyhow. I walked past someone who I've met a couple of weeks ago, not even a flicker of recognition. The only possible way I might have been recognised was by my dog who I was walking at the time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We want to keep this a secret from our friends and family to avoid been judge by someone who knows nothing about this lifestyle, we don't have face pics public, don't even have our full names because I Mr have a very unusual name and am very well known in our town, so we don't meet anyone with in 10 miles of us, also it's ok saying someone is there for the same thing as us but if that's a single make _iew really have nothing to hide and can drop us right in the Shit"

But how about this....you go through all your safety precautions and still end up meeting someone who knows you or you get found out, would you stop swinging for the rest of your lives?

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By *artinichilled1TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

Ive told couple of friends about Martine and they are ok with it.Ive gone to clubs and been out shopping in peterbough and milton keynes.In the main people dont give a shit. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is my secret life and I want to keep it that way from family and friends. However, I will have a social meet with someone locally. As long as they're single and someone is nosy enough to ask it's easy enough to explain.

I did refuse to meet one man in the end. He asked SO many questions about who I knew and who he knew, the excitement wore off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive told couple of friends about Martine and they are ok with it.Ive gone to clubs and been out shopping in peterbough and milton keynes.In the main people dont give a shit. x"

Most people don't give a shit but some people do. It's the nutter type people that you have to watch out for.

My best friend had to move away from a small town to a big city so he could live his life the way he wanted to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess I just don't give that much of a shit, and I live in witch burning territory!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't worry too much. We go to 2 local clubs so it's a bit pointless trying to avoid neighbours when we could bump in to someone local when we are clubbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're mildly paranoid. Don't meet too close to home. Face pics are 'normal' (non nude). Profiles on here deleted periodically to keep the footprints short.

But we go to clubs and meet from time to time and have already bumped into somebody from the 'real' world with no ill effects.

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

If I were to bump into someone I know at a club or social from the "vanilla" world wouldn't be too bothered as most of my friends and family know of my activities ....... The other person might not be so lucky and hope I don't say anything lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am more nervous of the politics that exist in 'local' swinging, as some people become territorial, possessive, manipulative and I would not trust some not to mischief make...

that maybe paranoia, but it one that is fuelled by years of observations of the scene.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

The only concern I have with local meets are if the guy saw her out, with his mate's and made a silly decision to 'out' her for a laugh or bravado. We are selective though, singles local and guys in a couple have been good stock and level headed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My paranoia knows no bounds.

I can understand what you're saying about a small town and tv's. We might like to think that we can do whatever we want but some people are idiots and not discreet. It's not worth the hassle."

Been there done that, in a crowded pub with a man with the loudest voice possible, needless to say we didn't meet again

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