FabSwingers.com forum: Things you have learnt from the movies

By *hyllyphylly OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

What movie cliches have you learnt? I'll start with....

Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters,though their clothing can be shredded-- except for the bits required for minimal decency,which are made from completely indestructible fabric.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Movie bed sheets are L Shaped.

They cover men to the waist, but women to the chest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cars in the Fast and Furious series have 54 forward gears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/08/13 14:07:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops.

People in convoys, like rubber duckies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oops.

People in convoys, like rubber duckies

Thats a BIG 10 4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steven Segal often fires 3 shells from a double barreled shotgun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that good guys shoot and hit someone everytime but fifty bad guys with machine guns couldn't hit a barn door if they were sat on it

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Every female ever should be able to wake up in the morning with hair and make up perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When in a big, dark, scary house, it's better to go off exploring. On your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that women wake up with perfect hair and makeup every morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every female ever should be able to wake up in the morning with hair and make up perfect"

Yeah but the guy laid at the side of her doesn't have morning glory

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Men can be beaten, shot, blown up, thrown out of planes, probed by aliens without a murmur, but the moment a pretty woman offers to bathe their wounds and give them the gentlist touch they scream and jump like little girls!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Good guys always win, everyone lives happily ever after.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

You will always find a parking space right outside wherever you need to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command..."

I like your kinda films...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Americans have won every war without any outside help and done it with only 12 guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or less in some cases

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The badies always wear black hats in westerns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That 99.9% of street scenes in Hollywood movies are filmed in a 100 yard long section of universal studios. If you've been there you will know what I mean with the flight of concrete steps leading up to a large building. I see it over and over again !

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

No matter what the story line or country, there's always a scene that will show that countries iconic landmarks.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Men either fuck with pants on or put them on immediately they are 'done', ladies do the same with pants AND bra!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The streets on NYC exhale steam, actually they really do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After screen sex there's no cleaning up to do whatsoever, just get up and get dressed, not even a little wipe !! Eeeuuuuwwwww

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

I like your kinda films...

Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

I like your kinda films...

Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...

Now that would be one hellova movie night

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

That you should ask punks if they feel lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

I like your kinda films...

Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...

Now that would be one hellova movie night

Can I come and see your collection

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Detectives only ever solve the crime after they've been suspended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ventilation systems are large enough for a fully grown man to crawl around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

I like your kinda films...

Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...

Now that would be one hellova movie night

Can I come and see your collection

Sure if you suply the cockporn... My bad i mean popcorn!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a horror scene, the woman is always guaranteed to fall down when chased... Pathetic!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

American car tyres make a squealing sound regardless of whatever surface they are on including gravel and grass !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you get shot in a western Chicken soup and deep dish apple pie fixes you in no time at all

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

Answering the phone is usually a bad idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Americans have won every war without any outside help and done it with only 12 guys "

... and one never-ending clip of bullets....

ted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All guns have never ending bullets

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

When an action hero kills the bad guy he does so with a little quip and then kills them

When a bad guy goes to kill the action hero he has to tell them their life history this giving them chance to escape

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By *ancatMan
over a year ago

Norwich

All super heroes are from the USA.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The scary person is always phoning from INSIDE the house

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By *ancatMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I most us films the bad guy is British.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I most us films the bad guy is British."
and always looks like Alan Rickman...

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

"I most us films the bad guy is British. and always looks like Alan Rickman..."

best bad guy ever

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

"I most us films the bad guy is British. and always looks like Alan Rickman..."

best bad guy ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How to smoke like Bette Davis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

American kids can outrun dinosaurs, volcanoes, cyborgs sent from the future, bad guys and teachers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no matter how good or new your car is it will refuse to start in an emergency

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"In a horror scene, the woman is always guaranteed to fall down when chased... Pathetic!!

Not only that but I've learnt that when camping teenagers find an abandoned house in the woods, one always goes down the cellar.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

American cars do 10,000 miles on a tankful of gas, sorry petrol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something i have learnt is that getting of your horse and drinking your milk is no longer socially acceptable lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"American car tyres make a squealing sound regardless of whatever surface they are on including gravel and grass !!

"
actually they do

And passengers always have the correct money for the cab fare

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

When you are driving as fast as you possibly can you can always change down and accelerate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

avatar

the natives have 4 fingers and the ones the humans transfer into have 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes around 10,000 bullets in a shoot out before one person gets shot

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"When in a big, dark, scary house, it's better to go off exploring. On your own."

And NEVER switch on a light, always take with you a big knife from the obligatory knife block that ever slasher film house has on the kitchen counter x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

That if you get attacked by a gang of 30 bad guys you needn't worry they will only come at you one at a time while the others prance around at the edge of the shot waiting for their turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing the movies have taught me:

Is that no one actually Dies, they use actors and actresses, well that's okay unless you have an undertaking business outside the studios

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cool guys don't look at explosions, they walk away like a badass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one ever has bed hair!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...

I like your kinda films...

Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...

Now that would be one hellova movie night

I'll order us a pizza and warm up the blue-ray player...

Or should I just set up a camera and we can make our own?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That if you get attacked by a gang of 30 bad guys you needn't worry they will only come at you one at a time while the others prance around at the edge of the shot waiting for their turn "

OH! Rather similar to a gangbang then???

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

cars in films have plastic explosive fitted as standard to the fuel tank..

which will always explode even if the car gets a flat tyre..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

its a good idea to go chasing a 30 foot big fuck off person eating great white shark with teeth that can shred steel in a 15 foot wooden boat..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every shopping bag contains a French stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A million dollars in cash or cocaine will invariably take up exactly the amount of space available in your briefcase.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life just ain't like the Matrix.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bad guy can be as ugly as sin, but always have hot girl friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how much we think the man villain will succeed in whatever plot he's got no matter what the odds are the good guys always win....lol

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"No matter how much we think the man villain will succeed in whatever plot he's got no matter what the odds are the good guys always win....lol"

yep, usually as the genius big bad guy who has built their empire from scratch and outwitted all others decides to tell the 'hero' whats about to happen..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The frog noises you hear in films are only found in California.

If you're black in a horror film don't worry about learning too many lines, you're going to die soon

No one locks their cars in the USA

People think American cities are clean because many of the street scenes are now shot in Canada

If you're a police captain you're going to get "chewed out" by the mayor for the antics of your brilliant detective who's never failed to solve a crime

Steven Segal can only do one wrist lock

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Bad guys and unnamed characters die instantly, the main character will have time for a speech

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

People don't say hello or goodbye when making a phone call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only area code in America is 555

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only area code in America is 555"

555 is a apecific number for films so if you phone it nothing happens, it amazes me they even had to do that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command..."

All men are repeaters and are hung like a horse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first man i through door lives in a shoot out.

Car doors stop bullets when you hide behind them.

There is always loads of flames in an explosion.

Explosions don't kill the good guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male heroes who act in films NEVER go bald or get thin hair however old they get. The exception to that rule is the bad guy who is allowed to be bald. The second exception is Jason Statham/Vin Diesel et al because they are hard men. Oh n Bruce Willis (I assume cos he once was Mr Demi Moore n therefore excused on grounds of diminished responsibility! )

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

When a pretty girl is being attacked in her house it is ALWAYS a good idea to run upstairs instead of out the front door which is right next to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't get away with playing 'hostel' with your partner

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Despite it being 'spontaneous' when a character breaks into song everyone else already knows the lyrics and they all dance the same.

Every girl in the 80's had a perm

Every boy in the 80's possessed only one jacket of the following 3 - denim leather or letterman

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Everyone in America has a generic American accent unless they're playing a dumb southerner or smart ass new yoiker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the american military are absolutely fucking terrible at any scientific research...they get hold of iron mans outfits and designs,,,bravo...but in an encounter with a threatening alien force, they decide to send soldiers out with normal army gear

fucking morons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From Mary Poppins....

I'm practically perfect in every way....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have an English accent you're clearly the bad guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The family pet dog in an action/disaster movie never dies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's batman

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

We are a nation of animal lovers....

When the blonde bint gets slaughtered, we all think "yeah, the bimbo deserved it"...

When the good looking young guy is next we think "Yip, saw that comming"...

BUT if the family pet gets it???

OMFG!!! They killed the dog! I cant believe they did that! that so fkn outta order! How dare they! Thats sick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never sit in the back of a car with samuel l jackson & john travolta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When in emergencies your phone never has signal and is unable 2 ring even 999 which you can usually ring without it.

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By *ibbyhunterCouple
over a year ago

keighley

when a guy and a woman are on the run on foot from the bad guys ,she will always trip and hurt her ankle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Harley Davidson motorcycles sound like 50cc mopeds when said hollywood stars ride off into the sunset!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All american cars have a set of keys under the sun visor

Good guys can be thrown/pushed or fall through a plate glass window but get up without a scratch on them !!

The military continue to use rockets, missiles and firearms on a 100ft monster even though it clearly does no damage whatsoever !!!

Being a huge hollywood action hero orginally from Austria entitles you to become an american governor of state

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

women weaken legs ...apparently

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

Pistols tend to be accurate within 200 yards when somebody is running

A grenade when exploding really carries about 100x more explosive than real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a large building , tree or other huge object is beginning to fall its always best to run in the exact direction of the path its falling in !

When being chased by a car, motorbike or other fast moving vehicle its best to run in a straight away from said vehicle instead of dodging to the side and running in the opposite direction !!

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