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Home Truths

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

1. Where there's a will.

I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you,

but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound,

some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you,

we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up,

we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right -

only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,'

then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.

To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations.

On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career.

Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says,

'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault,

I said I was blaming you.

14. Behind every successful man is his woman.

Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

16. You do not need a parachute to skydive.

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

17. Money can't buy happiness,

but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

18. There's a fine line between cuddling and

holding someone down so they can't get away.

19. I used to be indecisive.

Now I'm not so sure.

20. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

21. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and

call whatever you hit the target.

22. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

24. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

25. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crikey, what did you have for swper?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper? "

He had a tomato fruit salad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inside every big girl there is a thin girl trying to get out.

But on the outside of a thin girl there is a fat man trying to get in

They say a woman's work is never done, is that why they get paid less

(The above joke is not the view of the poster more a comment on the struggle between the sexes and in no way is implying a supremacy of either sex) lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper?

He had a tomato fruit salad."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper?

He had a tomato fruit salad.

"

I prefer the term love-apples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper?

He had a tomato fruit salad.

I prefer the term love-apples "

You're very poetic this evening Mister Fox!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper?

He had a tomato fruit salad.

I prefer the term love-apples

You're very poetic this evening Mister Fox!"

Be careful,.our I'll start writing.lunatics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crikey, what did you have for swper?

He had a tomato fruit salad.

I prefer the term love-apples

You're very poetic this evening Mister Fox!

Be careful,.our I'll start writing.lunatics"

Oh I've had a few of them lunatics mail me today. Must be something in the water! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

You're very poetic this evening Mister Fox!

Be careful or I'll start writing limericks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You're very poetic this evening Mister Fox!

Be careful or I'll start writing limericks "

Oh I think writing Lunatics sounded better

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