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Friends with my ex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its better for the child to see both parents as good friends I hated my ex when we separated but now we gt on better with each other and it shows in the children good luck my friend xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh don't get me started on this old chestnut

Its good you know this from the start because if they have that problem now - it gets worse down the line

I think its great if everyone gets on - but the ' jealousy' thing can get ugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it"

it's the same with me and it's only for the sake of the kids happiness I do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I guess some people can't tell the difference between banter between friends and flirting, and that's quite sad

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes it is the right thing for the children but also for your own well being, so much energy is wasted on hate and bitterness and it isn't nice to witness. Perhaps you don't know the person concerned well enough yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people have no sense of humour hun its a bummer when its like that xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it"

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Some women feel threatened by it....I remember seeing a bloke for a while and he was still best friends with his ex and would delete my comments on Facebook so she would no see them.....it did not help that he was still shagging her but they were not together...Its hard when you have kids because i do believe that it is important to maintain a good relationship with the other parent.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 12/08/13 08:34:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I applaud you for getting on with your ex but not everyone can my ex and I dont speak but then again he ignores his daughter so we have no need to converse.

Some people however dont get it and then some people cannot let go either! Its a funny ole world and we each are different. Maybe you should sit down with your lady and explain how you feel .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted "

Ted and cali and fem my three fav p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted

Ted and cali and fem my three fav p"

People as they know wot they are talkin sbout xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very good friends with my first hubby we have a son together, because we had a business together we were in each others pockets constantly and just fell out love.

I am friendly but not friends with my 2nd hubby as we have 2 daughters together.

As for Ted he treats my children all the same and they get on with him also. If I met someone who was jealous of me seeing my ex's and having their photos around ( because of the children and not me) I would have to say get a grip on the situation....

ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

it's the same with me and it's only for the sake of the kids happiness I do it"

ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it"

Am no expert, but I'd say the lady in question, is a little jealous of your relationship with your ex, maybe she feels second best.. perhaps a little insecure of the fact that you may eventually rekindle?

You should reassure your new lady.. That its her you love, but your ex and your daughter will always be a big part in your life. It's commendable that you place so much importance on your past and your daughter... This in turn should tell her what a nice guy you are... Unfortunately if she can't accept this ... Perhaps she's not the lady for you... X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am very good friends with my first hubby we have a son together, because we had a business together we were in each others pockets constantly and just fell out love.

I am friendly but not friends with my 2nd hubby as we have 2 daughters together.

As for Ted he treats my children all the same and they get on with him also. If I met someone who was jealous of me seeing my ex's and having their photos around ( because of the children and not me) I would have to say get a grip on the situation....

ruby"

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted "

We had it out, she said that she has a problem with me and my exs friendship, we have been friends (me and FB) for years and in that time I have not once indicated that I have any feelings other than friendship towards my ex, and if I was to say anything like that to anyone it would have been her, I have trusted her with my deepest darkest secrets, I do however remember telling her that my ex and I should have just been friends and nothing more.

But if this is her attitude towards the subject it just ain't worth it, I can go back to not having relationships it just don't work for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm now a better friend with my ex, now that we're separated

It's not just being there for the family, but a genuine fondness for what we had.

That still doesn't mean love, no way would either of us go back to that, but our relationship now works, where it didn't when we were together ....

Crazy stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted

We had it out, she said that she has a problem with me and my exs friendship, we have been friends (me and FB) for years and in that time I have not once indicated that I have any feelings other than friendship towards my ex, and if I was to say anything like that to anyone it would have been her, I have trusted her with my deepest darkest secrets, I do however remember telling her that my ex and I should have just been friends and nothing more.

But if this is her attitude towards the subject it just ain't worth it, I can go back to not having relationships it just don't work for me"

Shes jealous huni xx

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

Anyone who disagrees with that is the one with the Problem hun. You carry on doing what's right for you And your kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After my total fail on Friday of wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling someone I was in love with them I found out its because she thinks its weired that I am good friends with my ex, we have a daughter together isn't it better that we could be grown up enough to be civil to each other and then to realise that we are not the monsters that each thought we were, I have no problem with her or her husband or her kids in fact every year I get her kids a present on their birthday and Christmas.

What is the problem I just don't get it

OP - after your thread the other day, and now this, I am beginning to get the feeling your FB is not being entirely straight with you. If she only wants to know you as an FB, did not like you declaring how you felt about HER, then why does it matter to HER about your relationship with your ex??? If she is being on the level with you, it shouldn't even come into the equation how you do or don't get on with your kids Mother. Nothing to do with it all imho...

Don't think you'll really know where you stand until you have this out with her fully and refuse to back down until she (the FB) comes clean.

More to this than meets the eye I have a feeling....

ted

We had it out, she said that she has a problem with me and my exs friendship, we have been friends (me and FB) for years and in that time I have not once indicated that I have any feelings other than friendship towards my ex, and if I was to say anything like that to anyone it would have been her, I have trusted her with my deepest darkest secrets, I do however remember telling her that my ex and I should have just been friends and nothing more.

But if this is her attitude towards the subject it just ain't worth it, I can go back to not having relationships it just don't work for me"

I've been there and done that and walked away it's not worth the hassle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Golden rule, your kid or kids come first, my ex and me left on bad terms, we are now best of buddys and have been out for drinks and meals nothing else, my son is happy, if the partner is objecting to issues over the ex or kids, theyre not worth the time, jealousy has no place over kids !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get on great with my ex. While she's still single we take the kids away together. They are 10&12 so it's not too confusing for them. Maybe as the kids get older we may drift apart, who knows. But the kids come first in our relationship

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm now a better friend with my ex, now that we're separated

It's not just being there for the family, but a genuine fondness for what we had.

That still doesn't mean love, no way would either of us go back to that, but our relationship now works, where it didn't when we were together ....

Crazy stuff "

It's as if I wrote this my self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my 2p worth..

In the last few days you've declared your feelings and hoped for a positive outcome. Nothing wrong with that.

But.. give the woman a chance to catch her breath! She's known you for years and suddenly you've changed the rules. If it were me, I'd be a little shell shocked too. It's quite a lot to get her head around. We don't know what she's dealing with in her own life, neither do you.. Perhaps a little space and time apart will make things clearer for both of you.

What ever happens, you took a risk, at least you had the balls to try. Which is a lot more than most manage (me included)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just my 2p worth..

In the last few days you've declared your feelings and hoped for a positive outcome. Nothing wrong with that.

But.. give the woman a chance to catch her breath! She's known you for years and suddenly you've changed the rules. If it were me, I'd be a little shell shocked too. It's quite a lot to get her head around. We don't know what she's dealing with in her own life, neither do you.. Perhaps a little space and time apart will make things clearer for both of you.

What ever happens, you took a risk, at least you had the balls to try. Which is a lot more than most manage (me included) "

If she was taken aback by my decelaration it would be a different matter but blaming it on my friendship with my ex is different, if it was just a simple matter if "I need to get my head round this" then that would be fine but it's not, she basically wants me to not be friends with my ex, in the hope that it would work out bettwen us, something I'm not prepaid to do

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Jay and his wife are like brother and sister, I have no jealousy as I've nothing to be jealous off. My ex and I stayed friends when my son was younger I have no reason to be in touch with him now

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Just my 2p worth..

In the last few days you've declared your feelings and hoped for a positive outcome. Nothing wrong with that.

But.. give the woman a chance to catch her breath! She's known you for years and suddenly you've changed the rules. If it were me, I'd be a little shell shocked too. It's quite a lot to get her head around. We don't know what she's dealing with in her own life, neither do you.. Perhaps a little space and time apart will make things clearer for both of you.

What ever happens, you took a risk, at least you had the balls to try. Which is a lot more than most manage (me included)

If she was taken aback by my decelaration it would be a different matter but blaming it on my friendship with my ex is different, if it was just a simple matter if "I need to get my head round this" then that would be fine but it's not, she basically wants me to not be friends with my ex, in the hope that it would work out bettwen us, something I'm not prepaid to do"

then you have to evaluate is she the woman for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just my 2p worth..

In the last few days you've declared your feelings and hoped for a positive outcome. Nothing wrong with that.

But.. give the woman a chance to catch her breath! She's known you for years and suddenly you've changed the rules. If it were me, I'd be a little shell shocked too. It's quite a lot to get her head around. We don't know what she's dealing with in her own life, neither do you.. Perhaps a little space and time apart will make things clearer for both of you.

What ever happens, you took a risk, at least you had the balls to try. Which is a lot more than most manage (me included)

If she was taken aback by my decelaration it would be a different matter but blaming it on my friendship with my ex is different, if it was just a simple matter if "I need to get my head round this" then that would be fine but it's not, she basically wants me to not be friends with my ex, in the hope that it would work out bettwen us, something I'm not prepaid to do

then you have to evaluate is she the woman for you. "

No I don't think she is after all this, but we will see if she changes her thoughts on this when she finds that we have remained friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a guy who split up with his wife a few years ago, got into a new relationship with this woman and her kids, she will not let him invite his kids to the house, not because they are unruly etc, i know the kids, they are very respectful and well mannered, how sad is this woman to do that to his kids ? I know what i would be doing if that happened to me, packing my bags and off never to return !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This old chesnut, bin the bitches!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"This old chesnut, bin the bitches! "

What a charming thing to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This old chesnut, bin the bitches! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fact, u cant fix a broken cup, bin it, before the handle falls of and scalds you

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

My ex-husband and I have never missed an open evening, college meet, graduation etc. Last week we spent the day in Westfields, he pampering me.

He had two sons before we met and married. He never bad mouthed his ex, we had the boys every weekend and when my daughter was in hospital she bought the boys to see their sister.

She died ealier this year, my three daughters, their husbands and boyfriends visited her in the hospital, hospice and her funeral. My step sons 35 and 37 were at mine over the weekend to see their sisters and all go to church with their dad.

We are family. I think my ex his ex and i did a brilliant job merging two families, raising five kids to adulthood who love and respect each other.

Sadly, some people are insecure and can't accept you don't have to be at loggerheads with an ex. The most frequent question I get asked is "will you get back together"? and that's from my in-laws. You'd think ten years apart and a decree absolute would give them the answer!

Just because you get on doesn't mean you want them back either!

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