FabSwingers.com forum: Jealously

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is this a common thing that you have to learn just to get over?

Basically i started playing with a guy last year and we get on really well playing and just normally. This is the first guy I'd been with in a sub dom way and thus started my want for more. As the dream had become reality at last and it was goooood

Anyway I know he plays a fair bit and has done etc. That I don't mind at all, I'm doing the same!

He wants to have more ffm fun or ffmm fun which I'm more then up for but he asked me to get in touch with someone the other day to ask play and she's stunning. So I'm up for it but at the same time, can't help get a bit jealous and wonder if seeing him enjoying her more would just put a downer on my experience. We've played in the past with someone and she paid more attention to me so that made me feel more comfortable.

So I'm just a bit like eerr what if they leave me out and get carried away with each other etc.

I think I just want to be the favourite and I think that's bad.

When it comes to couples I don't care at all. It would turn me on seeing them enjoy each other and im aware I'm there as a toy for them and would never want to be favoured by either as don't want to come between them and anyone else on here wouldn't bother me. I don't know if it's because we have a bit of history or whatever.

Just wondered if people ever had similar stuff go on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe your just a greedy girl, that loves all the attention?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never do a meet if I knew I was going to be 'the toy' for them, its supposed to be mutual to everyone - but then that's just me!

As for the jealously, its fine as long as you think its a jealously you can handle - if not, just say no!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You have to have this chat with him...if you are going to meet together then you have to lay down boundaries and be able to say when you feel left out in a situation. Jealousy is a human emotion we all suffer from it time to time...You are two single people and you can't stop him from doing what he want to do or if he is attracted to this woman. At the end of the day it's just sex and it's highly unlikely that he is going to run off and marry this woman..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can put our hands on our hearts and say no! We have never had any jealous thoughts whilst swinging, whether that be meeting single men, single ladies or couples!!

If..... And that's a big if, jealousy did ever make an appearance we would stop swinging, as the way we see it there is no room for jealousy in this game!

Maybe chat to your partner and tell him how you feel!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think many people will admit to feeling a bit jealous sometimes even when they have no good reason to.

if she is better looking than you then i think he will prefer being with her.

also because its something new and different, he might not think the sex is better though.

when i have men i consider to be good looking its a thrill being with them although the sex isnt any better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy cannot exists if the fun is truly no strings attached, IMHO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone gets jealous feelings from time to time, women ALWAYS compare themselves to other women, if you learn from it instead of reacting to it, you'll be a better person because of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never got jealous when in a swinging situation always enjoyed watching rhe others enjoy themself.

You need to talk to him if you feel like this now it will only eat away at you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help but think that being sub is about being appreciated and wanted, hence being the centre of attention. So when someone else appears who you think may be the centre of attention of course you may be jealous?

But if you do meet and end up still being used totally, imagine the high to be used by both :P

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"Is this a common thing that you have to learn just to get over?

Anyway I know he plays a fair bit and has done etc. That I don't mind at all, I'm doing the same!

So I'm just a bit like eerr what if they leave me out and get carried away with each other etc.

I think I just want to be the favourite and I think that's bad.

Just wondered if people ever had similar stuff go on?

Hun she might not be into him so don't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a submissive I can get jealous when I actually know I have no reason too.. sexually I don't do jealousy...

however I try to keep the following in mind....

Will it be fun..?

will it please my dominant?

who is it my Dominant wants to spend most of his time with?

It's not always as simple as that... But bottom line is no one can take my position in his life unless I act like an idiot and push him away.

I had a moment's jealousy the other day... It was a instant moment, and gone as quick as it arrived... But he reassured me as both his sub, friend and play partner... And we talked about it.

Talk to him as I would never hold anything back as how can he be a good dominant to me and help me learn to overcome things, if I hold things back...

If you journal that can help too...

And remember... She may look stunning to you... but chances are to him, your the most amazing person he knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone gets jealous feelings from time to time, women ALWAYS compare themselves to other women, if you learn from it instead of reacting to it, you'll be a better person because of it!

I can say in 18 years of marriage I don't ever become jealous even when hubby goes all over the world on his own.He always comes back to me and I accept that everyone is different I don't need to compare myself to others. I may not be perfect but I'm more than happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont think many people will admit to feeling a bit jealous sometimes even when they have no good reason to.

if she is better looking than you then i think he will prefer being with her.

also because its something new and different, he might not think the sex is better though.

when i have men i consider to be good looking its a thrill being with them although the sex isnt any better."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a submissive I can get jealous when I actually know I have no reason too.. sexually I don't do jealousy...

however I try to keep the following in mind....

Will it be fun..?

will it please my dominant?

who is it my Dominant wants to spend most of his time with?

It's not always as simple as that... But bottom line is no one can take my position in his life unless I act like an idiot and push him away.

I had a moment's jealousy the other day... It was a instant moment, and gone as quick as it arrived... But he reassured me as both his sub, friend and play partner... And we talked about it.

Talk to him as I would never hold anything back as how can he be a good dominant to me and help me learn to overcome things, if I hold things back...

If you journal that can help too...

And remember... She may look stunning to you... but chances are to him, your the most amazing person he knows. "

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

If..... And that's a big if, jealousy did ever make an appearance we would stop swinging, as the way we see it there is no room for jealousy in this game!

Maybe chat to your partner and tell him how you feel!!

this..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but he could be so physically attracted to her he may play with her more than you.

I mean..it could happen.

$0.02

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If..... And that's a big if, jealousy did ever make an appearance we would stop swinging, as the way we see it there is no room for jealousy in this game!

Maybe chat to your partner and tell him how you feel!!

this..

He's not her partner, just another single swinger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this a common thing that you have to learn just to get over?

Anyway I know he plays a fair bit and has done etc. That I don't mind at all, I'm doing the same!

So I'm just a bit like eerr what if they leave me out and get carried away with each other etc.

I think I just want to be the favourite and I think that's bad.

Just wondered if people ever had similar stuff go on?

It sounds like there's a possibility of you wanting the dynamics of the relationship to change, and because the female in your mind is stunning, you're feeling a little insecure. There is no such insecurity going with a couple because you are all toys to each other and there is no fear of a hidden agenda in your mind.

It is likely your Dom is considering your feelings in all this as he has asked YOU to contact the girl, perhaps knowing if you have doubts, then he hopes you'll raise them with him Chat with him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all. Just going to chat to him and see what a happens.

Feel like I'm bad or the odd one out for this...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all. Just going to chat to him and see what a happens.

Feel like I'm bad or the odd one out for this...

It's a learning game lady.

I see you've only been here 6 weeks..ive only been here a few months. .but im loving the learning curve.

I've learnt more about the dynamics of people than I ever did before I joined.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all. Just going to chat to him and see what a happens.

Feel like I'm bad or the odd one out for this...

Don't feel bad or feel like the odd one out,the experiences you have on here should be completely fulfilling for you too,personally I would'nt put myself in a position where I may feel uncomfortable,I would'nt give a crap what anyone else thought about it either,If I don't like it,its not happening

And if he wants an ffm why is'nt he asking this woman? Id tell him to sort it himself but thats just me

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I walk away from jealousy....its horrible when it gets hold of you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a submissive I can get jealous when I actually know I have no reason too.. sexually I don't do jealousy...

however I try to keep the following in mind....

Will it be fun..?

will it please my dominant?

who is it my Dominant wants to spend must of his time with?

It's not always as simple as that... But bottom line is no one can take my position in his life unless I act like an idiot and push him away.

I had a moment's jealousy the other day... It was a instant moment, and gone as quick as it arrived... But he reassured me as both his sub, friend and play partner... And we talked about it.

Talk to him as I would never hold anything back as how can he be a good dominant to me and help me learn to overcome things, if I hold things back...

If you journal that can help too...

And remember... She may look stunning to you... but chances are to him, your the most amazing person he knows. "

Cali I think ur an amazing person just because u know how to say things I wouldn't know where to begin and im glad to have u as a friend xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

jealousy and hipocracy wrecked the best partnership ive had . i must learn the lessons the hard way and try not to make the same mistakes again .

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"As a submissive I can get jealous when I actually know I have no reason too.. sexually I don't do jealousy...

however I try to keep the following in mind....

Will it be fun..?

will it please my dominant?

who is it my Dominant wants to spend must of his time with?

It's not always as simple as that... But bottom line is no one can take my position in his life unless I act like an idiot and push him away.

I had a moment's jealousy the other day... It was a instant moment, and gone as quick as it arrived... But he reassured me as both his sub, friend and play partner... And we talked about it.

Talk to him as I would never hold anything back as how can he be a good dominant to me and help me learn to overcome things, if I hold things back...

If you journal that can help too...

And remember... She may look stunning to you... but chances are to him, your the most amazing person he knows.

Cali I think ur an amazing person just because u know how to say things I wouldn't know where to begin and im glad to have u as a friend xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is I think there is jealousy in us all.. it's you always a bad thing either.. I do believe in positive jealousy.. however mostly we hear about the bad ones.

I used to think I was above feeling it.. realised that I'm not.. but I can deal with how it affects me..

Communication and expressing your feelings are a good way to go in any relationship... In a ds relationship I think it's even more important.

I think my dominant must groan when I am in a thoughtful mood, as I can email or do journal entries many times a day... But it helps to get my inner thoughts out.. as often I don't even know what's wrong.

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