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"The same way a jury of 12 men and true are put in the position of judging someone who is charged for murder. You don't have to have done something to have an opinion or make a judgement on something. " fair point granted. Although judging someone for murder is slightly different to judging a couple who's kid is having a bit of a paddy. All i am trying to say is that i was one of those people who used to tut at parents whose kids were i thought unruly. Now being a parent myself i have a different view on it. | |||
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"The same way a jury of 12 men and true are put in the position of judging someone who is charged for murder. You don't have to have done something to have an opinion or make a judgement on something. fair point granted. Although judging someone for murder is slightly different to judging a couple who's kid is having a bit of a paddy. All i am trying to say is that i was one of those people who used to tut at parents whose kids were i thought unruly. Now being a parent myself i have a different view on it." And people are entitled to an opinion all the same society has dropped in the last 30 years kids are unruly parents are in less control its a fact. As I see it far too many parents don't like being pulled up about the behaviour of their offspring and in reality if they had brought therm up better there wouldn't have had it pointed out. | |||
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"Judging people and their actions (or lack thereof) is human nature. We all do it whether we admit it or not. I'm childless and I don't judge parents if I see a child acting up in public. Kids will be kids. What I do judge is when they make no effort to do anything about it." slightly off topic...you have great tits  | |||
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"I don't have kids but I have nephews and god children, I also have an opinion on how children in general should behave. Everyone is entitled to an opinion about parenting even if they aren't parents , there opinion my change if or when they have children but it doesn't make it any less valid. " Typo corrected  | |||
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"having just spent a while reading comments on another thread about restaurants banning children after 7pm, it got me thinking. A lot of people are sometimes very quick to criticise the way parents bring up and raise their children. However a lot of people doing the criticising, do not have children themselves. So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it... oh and by the way we have a 3 and 5 year old" They have no idea!!! | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! " couldn't put it better myself | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! couldn't put it better myself " | |||
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" So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it..." Quite easily if the children are in a public place and disrupting everyone around them!  Plus I was one myself once and I was taught how to behave!
I've never had to do a lot of things in life but that does not mean I'm not entitled to pass judgement  | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! " And that's the point, why shouldn't you give a shit, you're disturbing everyone else's meal because of the behaviour of your child. How is that fair to the other people in the restaurant? I full understand that children have tantrums and get bored, but why should that be inflicted on me? And when inflicted on me why shouldn't I pass judgement? When I was a child, if I through a tantrum in public I wasn't in public for long, even if that meant I was taken to the toilet or car till I calmed down. Because in those days people did give a shit about things like that. I've already said I don't have children but I do have nephews & god children and when they are out with me it's the same rule, one I two if he kicks off in public, I quietly talk him somewhere quiet and away from everyone else till he calms down & I apologise to the people around me for disturbing them. | |||
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People without children give great theoretical advice | |||
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"People as a rule don't like to be criticised for their child rearing or driving and everyone thinks they can do both better than everyone else
People without children give great theoretical advice ". And people with children never consider that theoretical advice might actually work. Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. | |||
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" those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! And that's the point, why shouldn't you give a shit, you're disturbing everyone else's meal because of the behaviour of your child. How is that fair to the other people in the restaurant? " This! Why should other people have to put up with the noise and disruption? If there were grown ups having a loud argument in front of children, parents would be the first to complain. It works both ways!! | |||
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" those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! And that's the point, why shouldn't you give a shit, you're disturbing everyone else's meal because of the behaviour of your child. How is that fair to the other people in the restaurant? This! Why should other people have to put up with the noise and disruption? If there were grown ups having a loud argument in front of children, parents would be the first to complain. It works both ways!! "
If you or your children disturb me I will judge you .... And I don't give a shit (as you say) if you like it or not.
A 4 yr old is meant to get bored and restless. As the parent you should manage this, quietly. | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! " If you know he gets bored easily why not takessomething to distract him like a colouring book or something? I've bot had children myself but was very involved in helping my sister with my nephew when he was younger. Both him and his sister are very well behaved when we go out. He asks to leave the table and if we say no hesits there quietly and we talk to him as wellas the aadults on the table. Of course not all kids are the same and some will have different needs or even just gave their moments but as others have said, if the parents are seen to be trying to stop them or control them that's great. It's the ones that lettheir kids run riot under the sstaff's feet that get me. I'll bet you a 3 course meal if one of the staff were to trip over their little treasure and hurt them they'll kick up a fuss. Sometimes I feel some parents think they dint need to be a parent when they go out | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. " People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly . | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly ." Thanks for that, but I'm basis my analysis on wider then just the tv show, reward charts, time outs etc are all widely acknowledged as positive parenting and super nanny was a route they became so widely known. Hence my point is you don't need to be a parent to understand how kids behave | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly . Thanks for that, but I'm basis my analysis on wider then just the tv show, reward charts, time outs etc are all widely acknowledged as positive parenting and super nanny was a route they became so widely known. Hence my point is you don't need to be a parent to understand how kids behave" But for the telly, would anyone have heard of Supernanny? | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly . Thanks for that, but I'm basis my analysis on wider then just the tv show, reward charts, time outs etc are all widely acknowledged as positive parenting and super nanny was a route they became so widely known. Hence my point is you don't need to be a parent to understand how kids behave But for the telly, would anyone have heard of Supernanny?" Perhaps from her many books and it doesn't I validate the techniques just because they have been on TV. Also it's developed from child psychology not just a tv she, so my thinking is yes, they would still be known. | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place! "And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it. | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! If you know he gets bored easily why not takessomething to distract him like a colouring book or something? I've bot had children myself but was very involved in helping my sister with my nephew when he was younger. Both him and his sister are very well behaved when we go out. He asks to leave the table and if we say no hesits there quietly and we talk to him as wellas the aadults on the table. Of course not all kids are the same and some will have different needs or even just gave their moments but as others have said, if the parents are seen to be trying to stop them or control them that's great. It's the ones that lettheir kids run riot under the sstaff's feet that get me. I'll bet you a 3 course meal if one of the staff were to trip over their little treasure and hurt them they'll kick up a fuss. Sometimes I feel some parents think they dint need to be a parent when they go out "With you on this | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! " And soon your children will 'not givr a shit' and expect the rest of society ' go fuck themselves' if they won't put up quietly with your behaviour. They emulate their parents. They do as parents do not as tney say. Our next generation of everyone has to put up with what I wanters...... lovely. | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! And soon your children will 'not givr a shit' and expect the rest of society ' go fuck themselves' if they won't put up quietly with your behaviour. They emulate their parents. They do as parents do not as tney say. Our next generation of everyone has to put up with what I wanters...... lovely."
Yup ! | |||
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"It's very easy for others to criticise others parenting skills, we all have our own way of doing things and dealing with issues. I do believe that many people change their views a bit though once they have there own children and they can see things from a different perspective.....I think many of us will look at the mother in the supermarket with a tantruming toddler with sympathy rather than annoyance when we have children too as we've all been there! Raising kids is not easy and challenges continue throughout...... My 3 are out of toddler tantrums but I've now got 2 of them in the hormonal teenage stage, not easy either. Most people I know do a pretty good job bringing up their kids, all kids have their moments its true, but its a shame people tend to remember the "naughty" stuff and not the good stuff. A " Well said! | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place!
And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it. " | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! And soon your children will 'not givr a shit' and expect the rest of society ' go fuck themselves' if they won't put up quietly with your behaviour. They emulate their parents. They do as parents do not as tney say. Our next generation of everyone has to put up with what I wanters...... lovely." | |||
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"People as a rule don't like to be criticised for their child rearing or driving and everyone thinks they can do both better than everyone else
People without children give great theoretical advice .
And people with children never consider that theoretical advice might actually work.
Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound.
"Sometimes theoretical advice is excellent. "Supper nanny " is a practician using very basic techniques I've been using in my work since 1985. They're mostly based on working with parents and not children. That's why it works. The reality is as I've said and you can see with this thread, that everyone thinks there way is best and everyone else is wrong. | |||
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"People ALWAYS remember the bad stuff. The good stuff is treated as the norm." Yeah, I don't see many threads on here about good parenting skills. Children are different. In fact I would probably worry more about the quiet, withdrawn ones than the noisy boisterous ones. Having said that, after sharing a train carriage with a particularly grouchy child I found out I can tune it out quite well. All those years of entertaining my daughters posse of friends must have come in handy.  | |||
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"When i threw a tantrum as a kid, my parents took steps to make sure i learned that wasn't acceptable. Guess what? I may not have been an angel, but i damn sure stopped throwing tantrums very quickly after that. Children have a high capacity to learn. Make them realise throwing a tantrum is a useless venture and they'll stop doing it. So i'm perfectly happy to pass judgement in such situations based on my experiences as a child. I may not do so verbally, or on the internet, but mentally, i can compare my upbringing to what i see around me." Its just common sense realy isnt it. | |||
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"The point is people judge and tut without knowing if the children have problems and to me that's ignorance " To be ignorant is simply not to have the facts - the word has become an insult though most who use it are ignorant of it's real meaning. I don't have children but I have enough nous to know that not all the badly behaved children I encounter in public places have problems - unless poor parents is classed as a problem. Too many times my appeal to the parents of children behaving anti-socially has been met with "kids will be kids" and a shrug. If by that they mean that kids will run around busy places screaming and risking scalding or other injury or that they will kick the chairs of strangers or stand and stare in the hope that strangers will give them the tempting morsel of food off their plate so they go away (yep I've had that one) then it's bollocks! Yes children have lots of energy and can be loud. But in that case visits to restaurants should be made to feel special so they understand that special behaviour is required. I spend a fair bit of time with children and mostly take them to open spaces where they can be boisterous and loud. When we do go to restaurants they know they have to abide by my standards of table manners (somewhat draconian and Victorian) but they can have whatever they want from the menu and dessert is always an option. As a result the last time they were in my care they asked if we could go to a particular restaurant and they behaved beautifully. If no one ever sets standards and rules and sticks by them children will never learn how to behave in restaurants. I taught a friend of mine how to use a knife and fork properly and how to read and use a table setting - she was 24! Her parents had always had scratch meals they ate off their laps. Mine always Sat us at the table and expected us to have good table manners and explained table etiquette - we were not well off and ate out as a family only two or three times a year but we knew from being young what was expected and so were able to be taken anywhere. | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place!
And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it. "And "people" would get put in their place! | |||
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"I'm a single mom to an 8 year old who can play me up something rotten (because he feels so secure) but thankfully he is polite and most of the time very well behaved outside the hone. However, a couple of years ago whilst flying back fro Spain, managed to get part of his finger nail embedded in his skin. It wasn't a serious injury but it obviously hurt him and he was screaming and crying on the plane for a good hour. I couldn't do anything to calm him down. I was so stressed out due to tuts, comments and moans that i had to hear i was crying too. Thankfully, he cried himself to sleep and i managed to pull the nail out when he was sleeping. How could anyone have judged me to be a bad parent at that time, i just don't rknow. " Yes its times like that when people are too quick to judge without knowing the full facts.........I think most of us have had moments like that when you could do with a few sympathetic words and not people moaning and tutting x A | |||
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"I think people do have the right to question people's parenting skills if their lack of them impacts other people. It's called being socially responsible." I think its very presumptuous to think your personal interjection would do anything other than fan the flames..so to speak! | |||
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"I'm a single mom to an 8 year old who can play me up something rotten (because he feels so secure) but thankfully he is polite and most of the time very well behaved outside the hone. However, a couple of years ago whilst flying back fro Spain, managed to get part of his finger nail embedded in his skin. It wasn't a serious injury but it obviously hurt him and he was screaming and crying on the plane for a good hour. I couldn't do anything to calm him down. I was so stressed out due to tuts, comments and moans that i had to hear i was crying too. Thankfully, he cried himself to sleep and i managed to pull the nail out when he was sleeping. How could anyone have judged me to be a bad parent at that time, i just don't rknow. Yes its times like that when people are too quick to judge without knowing the full facts.........I think most of us have had moments like that when you could do with a few sympathetic words and not people moaning and tutting x A" Getting annoyed at a situation and judging a parent are NOT the same thing. People in a closed space like a plane are perfectly entitled to get annoyed at a situation, seeing as they have to all share that confined space. I can tut in annoyance at a screaming kid. I don't judge the parent unless i see them doing absolutely nothing to hush their screaming kid. Both are not one and the same. | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place!
And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it.
And "people" would get put in their place! "And if front of your child no doubt too .... And so showing them exactly how to 'behave' ... Nice | |||
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"I'm a single mom to an 8 year old who can play me up something rotten (because he feels so secure) but thankfully he is polite and most of the time very well behaved outside the hone. However, a couple of years ago whilst flying back fro Spain, managed to get part of his finger nail embedded in his skin. It wasn't a serious injury but it obviously hurt him and he was screaming and crying on the plane for a good hour. I couldn't do anything to calm him down. I was so stressed out due to tuts, comments and moans that i had to hear i was crying too. Thankfully, he cried himself to sleep and i managed to pull the nail out when he was sleeping. How could anyone have judged me to be a bad parent at that time, i just don't rknow. Yes its times like that when people are too quick to judge without knowing the full facts.........I think most of us have had moments like that when you could do with a few sympathetic words and not people moaning and tutting x A Getting annoyed at a situation and judging a parent are NOT the same thing. People in a closed space like a plane are perfectly entitled to get annoyed at a situation, seeing as they have to all share that confined space. I can tut in annoyance at a screaming kid. I don't judge the parent unless i see them doing absolutely nothing to hush their screaming kid. Both are not one and the same." No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. A | |||
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"I like the way some people are defending their parenting skills with anti social behaviour. Males me wonder where the kids get their attitudes from now lol " Lol ! | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place!
And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it.
And "people" would get put in their place! "What a shining example you are to your children
*Her* | |||
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. A" False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post. | |||
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"I like the way some people are defending their parenting skills with anti social behaviour. Males me wonder where the kids get their attitudes from now lol " It is one of those issues where people get very defensive. Sadly the attitude of some parents is such that you know exactly why their kids behave the way the do. Anyone who feels they've perfected the art of bringing up their children is clearly deluded, but to misquote someone earlier on, interfering is likely to fan the flames not put them out! | |||
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. Ai False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post." Difference being your an adult, and getting annoyed with a child who's crying because he's hurt himself is hardly fair is it. Or do you not have any empathy ? A | |||
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. Ai False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post. Difference being your an adult, and getting annoyed with a child who's crying because he's hurt himself is hardly fair is it. Or do you not have any empathy ? A" Empathy often requires context. If a child is misbehaving it can be annoying, if you discover he has ADHD or autism then you'd (ideally) have more empathy. When you see the behaviour of some parents then often I have more empathy for their children! | |||
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"having just spent a while reading comments on another thread about restaurants banning children after 7pm, it got me thinking. A lot of people are sometimes very quick to criticise the way parents bring up and raise their children. However a lot of people doing the criticising, do not have children themselves. So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it... oh and by the way we have a 3 and 5 year old" I also find its older people who's kids have grown up who are quick to judger others, its easy to forget how a 3 year old acts in public when all your children have grown up and left home | |||
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. Ai False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post. Difference being your an adult, and getting annoyed with a child who's crying because he's hurt himself is hardly fair is it. Or do you not have any empathy ? A" I get annoyed with parents rather than children. I do have sympathy for parents whose children are playing up when I see they are doing all they can to either entertain, distract or keep control of their child. I have absolutely NO sympathy for parents who simply ignore atrocious behaviour and allow their children to be anti-social to others or around others. Those are the parents who I am rightly disgusted by - and so, I would argue, are others. No one on here is attacking ALL parents. It is the total lack of parenting which we all see which is being questioned here. | |||
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. Ai False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post. Difference being your an adult, and getting annoyed with a child who's crying because he's hurt himself is hardly fair is it. Or do you not have any empathy ? A" I can empathise. I don't HAVE to sympathise. And the natural human reaction that is annoyance can still manifest itself. Its okay, i have many years of dealing with my own emotions. | |||
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"having just spent a while reading comments on another thread about restaurants banning children after 7pm, it got me thinking. A lot of people are sometimes very quick to criticise the way parents bring up and raise their children. However a lot of people doing the criticising, do not have children themselves. So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it... oh and by the way we have a 3 and 5 year old I also find its older people who's kids have grown up who are quick to judger others, its easy to forget how a 3 year old acts in public when all your children have grown up and left home" That is so TRUE! | |||
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"having just spent a while reading comments on another thread about restaurants banning children after 7pm, it got me thinking. A lot of people are sometimes very quick to criticise the way parents bring up and raise their children. However a lot of people doing the criticising, do not have children themselves. So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it... oh and by the way we have a 3 and 5 year old I also find its older people who's kids have grown up who are quick to judger others, its easy to forget how a 3 year old acts in public when all your children have grown up and left home That is so TRUE!" Not always! | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly ." To be fair, when my children were small I practised most of what she advises, so it does work and I didn't see it on the telly
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"No your absolutely right, same as the said parent can get annoyed at your annoyance too. Vicious circle really isn't it! Maybe the adults in this situation who are ADULTS should have a little more tolerance in a situation like this rather than making the atmosphere more uncomfortable with their moaning. A False equivalence! If i'm on a plane, i have next to no tolerance for anything annoying, adult or child. I accept those situations will probably occur, and i reserve the right to be annoyed at them. I explained everything else in my previous post. Difference being your an adult, and getting annoyed with a child who's crying because he's hurt himself is hardly fair is it. Or do you not have any empathy ? A I can empathise. I don't HAVE to sympathise. And the natural human reaction that is annoyance can still manifest itself. Its okay, i have many years of dealing with my own emotions." I think you miss my point. In the original post where the lady explained the situation on the plane with her son, how he'd hurt himself and was crying, she was doing all she could, you still say its ok to tut and get annoyed. I see this is helping no one including yourself. There's a big difference between adults causing havoc on a plane and an injured child, I just saying some people should look at the bigger picture before they decide to criticise others. A | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly . To be fair, when my children were small I practised most of what she advises, so it does work and I didn't see it on the telly
"That's because what she does is really really basic psychology and has been shown to work over many years. The only thing "new" she's done is be on tv. | |||
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"In the case of trains and planes, I make sure I am not annoyed by anyone by plugging myself into my MP3 player early. ............" I wonder how many people use this whilst being innocently unaware of the noise which emits from their earplugs  | |||
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"In the case of trains and planes, I make sure I am not annoyed by anyone by plugging myself into my MP3 player early. ............ I wonder how many people use this whilst being innocently unaware of the noise which emits from their earplugs "Not as much as the noise that emits from two jet engines. | |||
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"I don't think having children makes you an authority on how to raise them. Some people are crap parents! " Given some of the comments on this thread I'd have to agree with you! | |||
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"Great quote on children Feel free to guess when it was written The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." Wasn't that Mark Twain? | |||
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". ......... Super nanny had no kids but her advice and techniques seem to be widely acknowledged as sound. People are easily fooled by what they see on the telly - just 'cos they see it on the telly . To be fair, when my children were small I practised most of what she advises, so it does work and I didn't see it on the telly
That's because what she does is really really basic psychology and has been shown to work over many years. The only thing "new" she's done is be on tv."Exactly....we found out by trial and error and thankfully it worked for us. | |||
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"Great quote on children Feel free to guess when it was written The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. Wasn't that Mark Twain?" Lol, about 2000 years before him | |||
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"Great quote on children Feel free to guess when it was written The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. Wasn't that Mark Twain? Lol, about 2000 years before him" Ah, some Roman or other
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. | |||
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"I don't think having children makes you an authority on how to raise them. Some people are crap parents! ..............." Yet, should anyone dare to suggest this to them, it tends to bring out the sort of aggressive streak which might explain why so many kids have behavioral problems. | |||
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"Great quote on children Feel free to guess when it was written The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. Wasn't that Mark Twain? Lol, about 2000 years before him Ah, some Roman or other
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose."Socrates c 300 BC. And absolutely all generations complain about the next generation and we're not unique in anyway. | |||
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"I also find that you can't win. On the rare occasion that my son has misbehaved in a supermarket and he has been shouted out or had a bottom smack, I've also received tuts and stares and comments for reprimanding him by the do gooding liberals. Now I await the comments from the anti-smacking brigade! And clearly, I'm not talking a beating or thrashing, I mean a smack on the hand or bottom. I received those as a child and have grown up to be a very well balanced individual with decent morals. " Smacking and or shouting issues aside why is it liberals always work in a military formation of a brigade? | |||
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"I do enjoy how people see themselves as a seperate entity who talk about children in the abstract as if they'd never been one. If they do, it's often about how they "knew not to misbehave" or how they were brought up, forgetting their parents probably felt they were horrific on occasion and brilliant on others just like all other children!" ooooooo we were never allowed to be naughty and didn't grow up lacking in anything because of it | |||
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"Nobody has the right to judge anyones parenting skills, my life, my kids, my buisness... Any stranger fancies poking their big nose into my personal buisness, gets put back in their place!
And that's your choice but if you kids are causing chaos in a public place people have a choice to say something about it.
And "people" would get put in their place!
What a shining example you are to your children
*Her*"Thank you, I am. I teach my kids to take responsability for themselves and to act accordingly, I also encourage them to mentaly place themselves in anothers shoes before opening their mouth in haste!
But then that's me! | |||
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"I also find that you can't win. On the rare occasion that my son has misbehaved in a supermarket and he has been shouted out or had a bottom smack, I've also received tuts and stares and comments for reprimanding him by the do gooding liberals. Now I await the comments from the anti-smacking brigade! And clearly, I'm not talking a beating or thrashing, I mean a smack on the hand or bottom. I received those as a child and have grown up to be a very well balanced individual with decent morals. Smacking and or shouting issues aside why is it liberals always work in a military formation of a brigade? " I dare say they don't, it was just a figure of speech | |||
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"I do enjoy how people see themselves as a seperate entity who talk about children in the abstract as if they'd never been one. If they do, it's often about how they "knew not to misbehave" or how they were brought up, forgetting their parents probably felt they were horrific on occasion and brilliant on others just like all other children! ooooooo we were never allowed to be naughty and didn't grow up lacking in anything because of it "Lol and if I asked your parents the same question | |||
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"I also find that you can't win. On the rare occasion that my son has misbehaved in a supermarket and he has been shouted out or had a bottom smack, I've also received tuts and stares and comments for reprimanding him by the do gooding liberals. Now I await the comments from the anti-smacking brigade! And clearly, I'm not talking a beating or thrashing, I mean a smack on the hand or bottom. I received those as a child and have grown up to be a very well balanced individual with decent morals. Smacking and or shouting issues aside why is it liberals always work in a military formation of a brigade? I dare say they don't, it was just a figure of speech" Wasn't directed at you per se, just a general query
Seems an odd type of army. Liberal brigades | |||
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"I do enjoy how people see themselves as a seperate entity who talk about children in the abstract as if they'd never been one. If they do, it's often about how they "knew not to misbehave" or how they were brought up, forgetting their parents probably felt they were horrific on occasion and brilliant on others just like all other children! ooooooo we were never allowed to be naughty and didn't grow up lacking in anything because of it
Lol and if I asked your parents the same question "I would love you to be able to but sadly we can't
It was a different era then though. I am sure there must have been an odd time when you needed telling off, but for the majority my parents brought up a huge family without any dramas. I can't remember any of us needing telling off when out, or if they did it must have been done very quietly with no fuss or dramas and I think that is what this thread is about...kids when out | |||
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"I do enjoy how people see themselves as a seperate entity who talk about children in the abstract as if they'd never been one. If they do, it's often about how they "knew not to misbehave" or how they were brought up, forgetting their parents probably felt they were horrific on occasion and brilliant on others just like all other children! ooooooo we were never allowed to be naughty and didn't grow up lacking in anything because of it
Lol and if I asked your parents the same question
I would love you to be able to but sadly we can't
It was a different era then though. I am sure there must have been an odd time when you needed telling off, but for the majority my parents brought up a huge family without any dramas. I can't remember any of us needing telling off when out, or if they did it must have been done very quietly with no fuss or dramas and I think that is what this thread is about...kids when out "Memory is a funny thing though. I too would like to say as you have, but I'm sure I don't remember same things as them as I suspect your siblings don't. Having arrived in the UK in the 1970's eating out as a family or at all wasn't as Common as elsewhere in the world and Perhaps that had some bearing as it Was often more of a treat perhaps? Just to clarify I'm sure you were perfectly well behaved | |||
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"I do enjoy how people see themselves as a seperate entity who talk about children in the abstract as if they'd never been one. If they do, it's often about how they "knew not to misbehave" or how they were brought up, forgetting their parents probably felt they were horrific on occasion and brilliant on others just like all other children! ooooooo we were never allowed to be naughty and didn't grow up lacking in anything because of it
Lol and if I asked your parents the same question
I would love you to be able to but sadly we can't
It was a different era then though. I am sure there must have been an odd time when you needed telling off, but for the majority my parents brought up a huge family without any dramas. I can't remember any of us needing telling off when out, or if they did it must have been done very quietly with no fuss or dramas and I think that is what this thread is about...kids when out
Memory is a funny thing though. I too would like to say as you have, but I'm sure I don't remember same things as them as I suspect your siblings don't. Having arrived in the UK in the 1970's eating out as a family or at all wasn't as
Common as elsewhere in the world and
Perhaps that had some bearing as it
Was often more of a treat perhaps?
Just to clarify I'm sure you were perfectly well behaved"Yeah exactly what I said up there, our era and up to a point our childrens era kids were not allowed into what is deemed adult places. I think what it boils down to is respect, we were taught it and a lot of children now are not. Disclaimer, I don't know how any people on this thread parent their child so I am not accusing any of you of not teaching your children respect. | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child?" My child would not have even got that far but if had, he would have been told off and made to apologise to you and so would I! | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child?" Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child? Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager " Ah, I was more asking what mums would do in that situation. | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child?" My kids wouldn't be wondering while out with me! If one of my kids bumped someone's chair on the way to the toilet or something then they would have apologised to the person themselves! | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child? Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager Ah, I was more asking what mums would do in that situation. "I am a mom | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child?" My child and grandchild would not have been allowed to do that. They would have been told to sit down until we were ready to leave. | |||
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"We have three adult offspring, and three young grandchildren. The thing is that you teach them how to behave from a young age, some people leave it to late. You need to learn how to handle them young and then it becomes second nature to them. Another problem these days is parents work such long hours they then overindulge their kids because they feel guilty of the small amount of quality time spent with them. Most have all the material things they want/need but time with their parents is sadly lacking." All true! | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child? Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager Ah, I was more asking what mums would do in that situation.
I am a mom"I guessed, but I wasn't quoting or answering your post.
To your post....Thanks for your answer and one which I would hope will be the case for most people | |||
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" My child and grandchild would not have been allowed to do that. They would have been told to sit down until we were ready to leave." | |||
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" My kids wouldn't be wondering while out with me! " | |||
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"I find it annoying when parents don't 'follow through' the punishment or threat. Example 'don't do that or you wont get a toy' then the kid throws a strop even worse and they still get the toy. What has the child learned? That a strop gets them the thing they wanted anyway. Just reinforces bad behaviour. Parents can often be heard telling off their children, saying 'don't do that or...blah blah blah' but how many actually do follow through the threat? They just create a worse problem, by not doing so. And btw, I am a mother, a grandmother and a nursery nurse. "
Yes this also irritates me, I have had friends who use ridiculous threats that they know won't happen such as "well you won't be coming to Disney land with us you can stay with grandma"
I mean really !!!!!
This sort of thing would never work with mine anyhow as they are too clever.
However they also know I mean it and will follow through on threats, my 12 year old was banned from sleep overs for a month, that hurt, cos she normally has them around once a fortnight!!!!
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"I'm a single mom to an 8 year old who can play me up something rotten (because he feels so secure) but thankfully he is polite and most of the time very well behaved outside the hone. However, a couple of years ago whilst flying back fro Spain, managed to get part of his finger nail embedded in his skin. It wasn't a serious injury but it obviously hurt him and he was screaming and crying on the plane for a good hour. I couldn't do anything to calm him down. I was so stressed out due to tuts, comments and moans that i had to hear i was crying too. Thankfully, he cried himself to sleep and i managed to pull the nail out when he was sleeping. How could anyone have judged me to be a bad parent at that time, i just don't rknow. Yes its times like that when people are too quick to judge without knowing the full facts.........I think most of us have had moments like that when you could do with a few sympathetic words and not people moaning and tutting x A" We feel your pain. As far as tantrums are concerned, the thing super nanny tells you to do,is to ignore the child and let them scream and shout and thrash about as going to them is the effect they want which is attention. Now this is when the supposedly excellent theory(from non parents generally)goes out the window. if i am in a restaurant and one of mine kick off they are picked up and carried out until they calm down,but doing this goes against supernanny advice so basically your damned if you do and dammned if you don't. I am glad i started this thread though | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! " Prime example why I loathe other peoples brats! If your so inept in parenting, keep your little bastards at home and don't inflict them on the rest of us! 
Signed mother of three who could take her children out in public without annoying others and doesn't have a degree in rocket science! | |||
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"I also find that some moms think that because they adore their children and find them cute etc, the whole world does. they don't!!" This reminds me. When my daughter was about 16 months I took her to Betty's in Northallerton. She was sat in her high chair entertaining herself with crayons and paper. She was making no more noise than any adult having a quiet conversation. The couple next to me glared at me and her throughout or meal, constantly tutting and sighing. I eventually snapped and asked if they could keep the noise down as it was interrupting my daughters peace. All throughout she was barely making a sound. The couple then said they'd come out for a meal (this was 1pm) not to be disturbed by children. I thanked them for their input and ignored them. Now, thinking back I do wonder what they're particular problem was as my daughter was almost silent while she ate. I hope whatever it was, they managed to resolve if before they encountered properly misbehaving children. | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! And that's the point, why shouldn't you give a shit, you're disturbing everyone else's meal because of the behaviour of your child. How is that fair to the other people in the restaurant? I full understand that children have tantrums and get bored, but why should that be inflicted on me? And when inflicted on me why shouldn't I pass judgement? When I was a child, if I through a tantrum in public I wasn't in public for long, even if that meant I was taken to the toilet or car till I calmed down. Because in those days people did give a shit about things like that. I've already said I don't have children but I do have nephews & god children and when they are out with me it's the same rule, one I two if he kicks off in public, I quietly talk him somewhere quiet and away from everyone else till he calms down & I apologise to the people around me for disturbing them." My point exactly! | |||
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"Kids are like farts....your own are great" Love this!!! | |||
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"my sons in his thirties. when he was little he was polite and friendly and loved talking to people, adults and other children too. people used to like him a lot. when i see how some kids are allowed to behave i am realy shocked." My hairdresser always uses my daughter as an example. On the rare occasions I bought her to the salon she'd sit with her books, colouring pens, dolls, bag of crisps and Ribena and not move, compared to the brats running around unchecked by lackadaisical parents. | |||
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"I find it annoying when parents don't 'follow through' the punishment or threat. Example 'don't do that or you wont get a toy' then the kid throws a strop even worse and they still get the toy. What has the child learned? That a strop gets them the thing they wanted anyway. Just reinforces bad behaviour. Parents can often be heard telling off their children, saying 'don't do that or...blah blah blah' but how many actually do follow through the threat? They just create a worse problem, by not doing so. And btw, I am a mother, a grandmother and a nursery nurse.
"I always go through with my threat and he knows it, but when my mother is around its a different story! I say he's not allowed something because he did whatever before she came and she sneaks it to him!
It really f*cks me off especially when she says 'oh, well i'm nanny, i'm allowed'
NO YOUR FRIGGIN NOT!!
I don't particularly like some of the ways she raised me and my sister and i plan on raising my kid differently (in some ways) and i hate it when someone - especially her - effectively ruins my hard work | |||
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"Children have tantrums. Fact! Example, i took kids out for dinner last night, my four year old gets bored easily, because he's 4, so once he's eaten his dinner he gets distracted by things around him, like a tree (we ate outside) so me, being mum, told him to come and sit back down at the table, which he did, but got up a further 3-4 times which resulted in me telling him off which led to him crying because I hurt his feelings, subsequently leading to everyone in the restaurant looking. Id like to think that most of them are parents like me and get that kids will cry when they don't get their own way, and those who are not parents, who tut and mumble can go fuck themselves because I really couldn't give a shit! Prime example why I loathe other peoples brats! If your so inept in parenting, keep your little bastards at home and don't inflict them on the rest of us!
Signed mother of three who could take her children out in public without annoying others and doesn't have a degree in rocket science! "Why are they "bastards"? Another prime example of a perfectly good word being misused in order to cause offence! And a person choosing to be publicly presumptuous! | |||
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"my child, lovely though he is, has ADHD and is very challenging.. not in the naughty sense, as most people think of ADHD but in the fact he can wander off or run away at a moments notice plus he has no stranger danger and will talk to anyone if he could...and for these reasons I have stopped taking him anywhwere where his behavior will cause me to have to reprimand him as I am fed up of all the disparaging looks from people who clearly don't have a clue how difficult it is for me, but especially for my son!! "People can be very judgemental about ADHD, aspergers, etc. Just because they can't see it. If you want to message me anytime feel free. The running away thing sounds very similar to my child. He's only recently stopped this in this last year and coping better. | |||
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"When i threw a tantrum as a kid, my parents took steps to make sure i learned that wasn't acceptable. Guess what? I may not have been an angel, but i damn sure stopped throwing tantrums very quickly after that. Children have a high capacity to learn. Make them realise throwing a tantrum is a useless venture and they'll stop doing it. So i'm perfectly happy to pass judgement in such situations based on my experiences as a child. I may not do so verbally, or on the internet, but mentally, i can compare my upbringing to what i see around me." My parents were that: parents. They didn't want to be my bessie mate, in fact they had a saying: pickney fe know pickney place (children should know they are children). When "big people" entered a room we acknowledged them by title and surname or brother or sister if their church friends and left the room. No "hi Sue" and sitting in the middle of "big people" conversation. My parents would have been horrified and I've had got a beating if I didn't turn of the telly and get out. My kids were raised along the same lines. Even though they're adults the call my friends aunty and uncle so and so. My son-in-law and my daughters boyfriends are around the same age: early twenties. My son in law calls me by my christian name, uses cunt and fuck every other word, the boyfriends call me mum, one gets flustered and embarrassed if I get in his car and his rap music is on, but I think it's cultural too as my son-in-law is white and the boyfriends Caribbean. Too many parents seem unable to recognise others are out for a good time and don't want their little darlings disturbing their peace! | |||
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"..............My parents would have been horrified and I've had got a beating if I didn't turn of the telly and get out. ................!" Kinda obvious when you think about it. Bad behaviour = batter **** out of them. | |||
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"I also find that some moms think that because they adore their children and find them cute etc, the whole world does. they don't!! This reminds me. When my daughter was about 16 months I took her to Betty's in Northallerton. She was sat in her high chair entertaining herself with crayons and paper. She was making no more noise than any adult having a quiet conversation. The couple next to me glared at me and her throughout or meal, constantly tutting and sighing. I eventually snapped and asked if they could keep the noise down as it was interrupting my daughters peace. All throughout she was barely making a sound. The couple then said they'd come out for a meal (this was 1pm) not to be disturbed by children. I thanked them for their input and ignored them. Now, thinking back I do wonder what they're particular problem was as my daughter was almost silent while she ate. I hope whatever it was, they managed to resolve if before they encountered properly misbehaving children. " Many parents seem to be totally deaf to the noise their own children make. | |||
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"In the case of trains and planes, I make sure I am not annoyed by anyone by plugging myself into my MP3 player early. This is not ideal in a restaurant situation though." Exactly what I do. If I didn't I'd make the 6pm news for going mental on my morning commute! A little Handle's Water Music goes a long way. | |||
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"When i threw a tantrum as a kid, my parents took steps to make sure i learned that wasn't acceptable. Guess what? I may not have been an angel, but i damn sure stopped throwing tantrums very quickly after that. Children have a high capacity to learn. Make them realise throwing a tantrum is a useless venture and they'll stop doing it. So i'm perfectly happy to pass judgement in such situations based on my experiences as a child. I may not do so verbally, or on the internet, but mentally, i can compare my upbringing to what i see around me. My parents were that: parents. They didn't want to be my bessie mate, in fact they had a saying: pickney fe know pickney place (children should know they are children). When "big people" entered a room we acknowledged them by title and surname or brother or sister if their church friends and left the room. No "hi Sue" and sitting in the middle of "big people" conversation. My parents would have been horrified and I've had got a beating if I didn't turn of the telly and get out. My kids were raised along the same lines. Even though they're adults the call my friends aunty and uncle so and so. My son-in-law and my daughters boyfriends are around the same age: early twenties. My son in law calls me by my christian name, uses cunt and fuck every other word, the boyfriends call me mum, one gets flustered and embarrassed if I get in his car and his rap music is on, but I think it's cultural too as my son-in-law is white and the boyfriends Caribbean. Too many parents seem unable to recognise others are out for a good time and don't want their little darlings disturbing their peace!" Sounds EXACTLY like how i was brought up. | |||
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"Is ADHD inherited? " There is no direct genetic link currently and depends on if it's really ADHD as sometimes people mis-label. Sometimes ADHD is confused with autism spectrum disorders and sometimes people self diagnose. Parents will sometimes say their children have ADHD when they don't, unless they've been formally assessed I'd withhold any label. That's not to say their children don't have clinical issues. | |||
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"I also find that some moms think that because they adore their children and find them cute etc, the whole world does. they don't!! This reminds me. When my daughter was about 16 months I took her to Betty's in Northallerton. She was sat in her high chair entertaining herself with crayons and paper. She was making no more noise than any adult having a quiet conversation. The couple next to me glared at me and her throughout or meal, constantly tutting and sighing. I eventually snapped and asked if they could keep the noise down as it was interrupting my daughters peace. All throughout she was barely making a sound. The couple then said they'd come out for a meal (this was 1pm) not to be disturbed by children. I thanked them for their input and ignored them. Now, thinking back I do wonder what they're particular problem was as my daughter was almost silent while she ate. I hope whatever it was, they managed to resolve if before they encountered properly misbehaving children. Many parents seem to be totally deaf to the noise their own children make." Except I'm not, I'm very concsious of it. She was as she always has sat quietly doing some colouring. Nothing more nothing less. I've had to tell my children to lower their voices before in restaurants and it's alway been fairly straightforward for me and their mother. They seem to be naturally well behaved as I don't think for one moment it's all down to my skills. Some adults just don't like children (even though they forget they obviously were one.) 1pm on a Friday in a busy restaurant and I can guarantee you my daughter was by far and away one of the quietest people in there. | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child? Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager Ah, I was more asking what mums would do in that situation. "Oops sorry, what would I have done. Bugger all who wants a little brat at the table while I"m eating my lunch, let some other bugger look after him | |||
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"A query, what would anyone do in this situation with your child. We were having a meal through the day , we were sat at a table in the window. A child on the other side of the room came over and walked the length of the window a few times going backward and forward and knocking the OH's chair a few times on the way while we tried to eat.. We looked over to the mum and she smiled. We found it really rude ...what would you have done if it was your child? Maybe a quiet word with the child's mother or if that failed the manager Ah, I was more asking what mums would do in that situation.
Oops sorry, what would I have done. Bugger all who wants a little brat at the table while I"m eating my lunch, let some other bugger look after him " | |||
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"When we are out in Town, my kids are not allowed to eat with us, we send them shoplifting while we eat, then we meet up and they pass on the goods and while we go to the pub they are off shoplifting again to get more goodies"
Do you give them a list? Max factor lippies are a favourite
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"When we are out in Town, my kids are not allowed to eat with us, we send them shoplifting while we eat, then we meet up and they pass on the goods and while we go to the pub they are off shoplifting again to get more goodies
Do you give them a list? Max factor lippies are a favourite
"One of the best sellers is men's razor blades, we can't seem to Nick enough of those, we have Queue outside every night | |||
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"When we are out in Town, my kids are not allowed to eat with us, we send them shoplifting while we eat, then we meet up and they pass on the goods and while we go to the pub they are off shoplifting again to get more goodies
Do you give them a list? Max factor lippies are a favourite
One of the best sellers is men's razor blades, we can't seem to Nick enough of those, we have Queue outside every night "Legs of lamb sell quick | |||
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"I have a 7 and a 9 year old, and they learnt quite quickly, if mum repeats something 3 times, there ill be issues.... one such instance was my youngest (he was 3 at the time) would keep undoing his seatbelt.... he was asked three times and as it was something they wanted to do, I did a U turn and went home. He didn't do it afterwards. I have found that they both react differently to punishment, but they know the look they get and will generally do as I ask, as they know I follow through on the punishment, which I fear a lot of parents dont do.... I have to admit I do find the constant "Dont do that" irritating. And before any of you think of corporal punishment.... it never has to go that far.... kids want treats and will accept that being withdrawn if they have misbehaved, and that is generally what I do. Withdraw sweets, books, films etc for misbehaviour. xx "Do you class a smack on the hand or bottom as corporal punishment? | |||
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"I have a 7 and a 9 year old, and they learnt quite quickly, if mum repeats something 3 times, there ill be issues.... one such instance was my youngest (he was 3 at the time) would keep undoing his seatbelt.... he was asked three times and as it was something they wanted to do, I did a U turn and went home. He didn't do it afterwards. I have found that they both react differently to punishment, but they know the look they get and will generally do as I ask, as they know I follow through on the punishment, which I fear a lot of parents dont do.... I have to admit I do find the constant "Dont do that" irritating. And before any of you think of corporal punishment.... it never has to go that far.... kids want treats and will accept that being withdrawn if they have misbehaved, and that is generally what I do. Withdraw sweets, books, films etc for misbehaviour. xx
Do you class a smack on the hand or bottom as corporal punishment?"If a smack on the bottom is corporal punishment, well I"m guilty, however in my defence the wife does ask me to do it | |||
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"Do you class a smack on the hand or bottom as corporal punishment?" I do. And I class it as serving nothing other than a release for the punisher. Of course between consenting adults it's a different matter | |||
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"Is ADHD inherited? " I didn't know it could be but since my child has been diagnosed I have learned that it can be...have to add it's not from me though! | |||
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"Is ADHD inherited? I didn't know it could be but since my child has been diagnosed I have learned that it can be... ....." I posed the question in a rather tongue in cheek way 'cos it seems badly behaved parents have badly behaved weans. | |||
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"Is ADHD inherited? There is no direct genetic link currently and depends on if it's really ADHD as sometimes people mis-label. Sometimes ADHD is confused with autism spectrum disorders and sometimes people self diagnose. Parents will sometimes say their children have ADHD when they don't, unless they've been formally assessed I'd withhold any label. That's not to say their children don't have clinical issues." Isn't ADHD on the spectrum? | |||
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"having just spent a while reading comments on another thread about restaurants banning children after 7pm, it got me thinking. A lot of people are sometimes very quick to criticise the way parents bring up and raise their children. However a lot of people doing the criticising, do not have children themselves. So my question is if you do not have children yourself how can you make a judgement on how to raise them when you have never had to do it... oh and by the way we have a 3 and 5 year old" Very rarely mention it but my oldest (9) is disabled. His brother can be a handful too. More in a 6 coming on 16 way though. That's two lively lads and one parent. And despite these stats the one thing that's never in short supply is people to tut, point and criticise. Need time to read this thread properly. | |||
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"Is ADHD inherited? There is no direct genetic link currently and depends on if it's really ADHD as sometimes people mis-label. Sometimes ADHD is confused with autism spectrum disorders and sometimes people self diagnose. Parents will sometimes say their children have ADHD when they don't, unless they've been formally assessed I'd withhold any label. That's not to say their children don't have clinical issues. Isn't ADHD on the spectrum? " Not really, people with ADHD can also have autism. The inheritance issue is controversial but has been seen in twins studies. The difficulty is identifying whether it's an inherited gene or not. | |||
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