FabSwingers.com forum: breastfeeding.. your views

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Another thread has become a little hijacked as many were shocked that someone found it disgusting..

now I know not everyone manages it.. but I do believe that more support needs putting in place.

I breastfed but of mine although had varying support.. I found it easier and quicker and the connection to my children was important...

I had my ex husband interfere with my last child and due to not feeding her past 6 weeks I suffered really bad depression...

times have changed.. when I had my first I remember no feeding rooms and asked to go to the toilets to feed.. yet later children it was so different.

I still think it was one of the most magical parts of being a mother.. and wish more support was there .. especially for mothers who struggled first time around and may have chosen to bottle feed from the start with second or subsequent children...

So what are your thoughts on it...?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife breast fed both of our children and I'm a massive supporter of breast feeding and believe that cages and restaurants that don't allow it should be named and shamed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I've never ever ever understood the big deal about it. Women should not need support (apart from initially when getting the child to actually latch on). They do not need special rooms. The idea that breastfeeding is disgusting offends me more than I can say. Women should be able to feed a child whenever and wherever that child needs it and fuck what anyone else thinks. The fact that someone thinks their delicate sensibilities are more important than feeding a young baby is just ridiculous and I would say that that person really does need to get some therapy and not impose their unnatural beliefs on someone else - especially a defenceless child.

Yes, I know - a bit of a rant but I feel really impassioned about this and am astonished and dismayed that here we are into the second decade of the 21st century and still listening to archaic beliefs which belong in the 19th.

Don't like seeing a woman breastfeeding in public - don't look. It's your problem - tough - go away and deal with it.

And breathe ....

I shall add no more as it would only be a reiteration of what I have just said.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally support it.

It's perfectly natural and a vital part of life!

It should be totally acceptable to breastfeed in public without question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the best way to feed a baby is what's best for both of them. As long as mum is happy and content then baby will be too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mother and child get health benefits from it and there's emotional connection too. So I am for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

of course they do but more support needs giving as it shouldn't be a default choice but something that happens if breastfeeding can't happen... I had a nightmare first time.

Cracked and sore nipples, mastitis, a baby that needed feeding every 3 hours to start with.. and fed for nearly an hour a time... But I wanted him to have the best...

I don't think any woman that tries and for what ever reason chooses bottles should feel bad.. because they tried..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

"
Well I never made milk. I was having a go and end up so sore . I am sure some woman are better at this .. I have a close bond with my 4 and all bottle fed ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

Tried to BF both my children. The first one I didn't last past 4 weeks as she was too hungry and I wasn't producing enough milk for her. The 2nd time, my son was/is tongue tied and therefore could not latch on properly meaning he couldn't feed properly.

I enjoyed what I could do and was disappointed that I could not continue both times but both of them are happy and healthy.

Babies should be fed whenever hungry, regardless of where they are. Naked boobs aren't something to get offended by and people need to stop and understand that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found breastfeeding very hard the first time. But with my second child I managed to do it for over a year. I found I bonded with my son better. But I did get some negative looking, but my attitude was if you don't like what you see don't look.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

of course they do but more support needs giving as it shouldn't be a default choice but something that happens if breastfeeding can't happen... I had a nightmare first time.

Cracked and sore nipples, mastitis, a baby that needed feeding every 3 hours to start with.. and fed for nearly an hour a time... But I wanted him to have the best...

I don't think any woman that tries and for what ever reason chooses bottles should feel bad.. because they tried.. "

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

of course they do but more support needs giving as it shouldn't be a default choice but something that happens if breastfeeding can't happen... I had a nightmare first time.

Cracked and sore nipples, mastitis, a baby that needed feeding every 3 hours to start with.. and fed for nearly an hour a time... But I wanted him to have the best...

I don't think any woman that tries and for what ever reason chooses bottles should feel bad.. because they tried.. "

Sadly though, like on the other thread and in your first post and in real life, people keep talking about the bond and how special it is....so for those women who couldn't breast feed for whatever reason will feel like they have failed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Northants

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

Have to agree Rugby, but it is not the same as the bond of breast fed babies, imho. Just the sheer contentment of mother and baby during and after a feed is a joy to behold and the fact that you can't rest a boob somewhere for the baby to suckle as you can with a bottle means you have to have quiet time. Beneficial to both mother and baby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Northants

[Removed by poster at 29/07/13 13:15:18]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think the best way to feed a baby is what's best for both of them. As long as mum is happy and content then baby will be too. "

This is for me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't it most peculiar though, that most people who seem to be offended are other women ?

Or am I wrong and going on the misconceptions of modern media stereotypes ?

It's something that's perfectly natural, and shouldn't be criticised, but also women that bottle feed, for various reasons, shouldn't be castigated and made to feel inferior as a mother

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a midwife my views are probably very skewed!

Breastfeeding cafes, rooms and support in my eyes are a great thing if they can encourage a mum to prolong her breastfeeding experience and as a soundboard when things maybe aren't going to plan. Just because the principles of positioning and attachment can be taught does not mean every baby will adhere to them and sometimes extra support is required

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision."

sorry but I think they are selfish if they don't want to try and do what is best. I know that's a bit judgmental but I can not see why you wouldn't want to try... Because it's as natural as having the baby. I put them in with the too lazy to push group.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

Now that is something I totally disagree with, there are many reasons why some mothers choose not to breast feed and calling them lazy is just plain rude and uncalled for. I stick by a happy and content mother means a happy and content baby however it's fed !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lots of friends who are just too lazy to try. I got lots of negative comments when I was breastfeeding from people who should have known better including doctors.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

A mother getting stressed, pain, tired, fed up and not enjoying breastfeeding due to cracked nipples or a lack of desire isn't going to have that great bond with their baby through breastfeeding either and maybe bottle feeding, enjoying your feed time and looking forward to that time with baby is best for them. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

sorry but if they chose to without having ever tried I think they are selfish. If they try and for whatever reason don't want to then fine. But I'm talking about the ones that decide from as soon as they are pregnant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried very hard to breast feed my first, so much so that he was so hungry and screaming the ward down they took him away from me and put him in the nursery and i was asked to express, i did and he took a full 7oz as a new born and slept for almost 24hrs. I felt very strongly about wanting to breast feed, but after three days on the ward i felt that they had given up on me and that's why i was asked to express.

I did that for the first 6 weeks of his life. Because it make me very sore and tearful I found this a nightmare !!

As a direct result of this i refused to breast feed my two daughters... Very sad really......

PS: Nor sure if you ladies know this but if you are ever breasting feeding and you do get heavy and sore. Place a Savoy cabbage leaf in your bra the toxins in it give you immediate relief and draw the milk out as well....Ruby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I am not talking about them... Just the ones that never even consider it. Why not.. I think these mums need more support and encouragement.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

Which is totally there choice and I'm now going to back away because I actually find that more offensive than the post that started this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

Well I never made milk. I was having a go and end up so sore . I am sure some woman are better at this .. I have a close bond with my 4 and all bottle fed .."
nipple shields are ment to be good if you have sore nipples I had to go into chemists looking for these was a bit embarrassing but at the same time proud xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Newbury

I fond it bizzare that anyone could 'object' to breastfeeding. I bet the same people wouldn't object to anyone else eating/drinking in public...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

"I've never ever ever understood the big deal about it. Women should not need support (apart from initially when getting the child to actually latch on). They do not need special rooms. The idea that breastfeeding is disgusting offends me more than I can say. Women should be able to feed a child whenever and wherever that child needs it and fuck what anyone else thinks. The fact that someone thinks their delicate sensibilities are more important than feeding a young baby is just ridiculous and I would say that that person really does need to get some therapy and not impose their unnatural beliefs on someone else - especially a defenceless child.

Don't like seeing a woman breastfeeding in public - don't look. It's your problem - tough - go away and deal with it.

And breathe ....

I shall add no more as it would only be a reiteration of what I have just said."

I totally agree. Perfectly natural and if anything the "special rooms" stigmatise the practice even more.

Irrespective of the debate over which method is best, the right to choose and all be happy and not feel forced or coerced into any decision must serve mother and child better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which is totally there choice and I'm now going to back away because I actually find that more offensive than the post that started this. "

but why should it offend... I just honestly believe that not enough is done to encourage women. I actually talked to a girl in hospital who said she didn't want to because it would ruin her boobs...

You can't chose to not push, you have to try first. Unless medical reasons. I just think same should apply to breastfeeding.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I totally agree with Moody moo, no mother can be at their best when struggling with something that is as hard as breast feeding, and i am sorry to think this but i think this where a lot a post natal depression sets in because they think that they are not doing their best for that child and will continue to struggle until someone close to them will surgest the easy way out and tell them THAT they are NOT FAILING as a mother just because they have a bottle in their mouth instead of a breast..... Ruby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need feeding. Starving!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally speaking if you are able to then by all means you should but unfortunately not every mother can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

I absolutely loved feeding my babies......it got longer with each one, the third I fed till she was 21 months!

I did not find the first month or so easy and suffered with sore and bleeding nipples, apparently made worse due to my children having high palates.

Once over that stage though I really enjoyed it, and it may be a coincidence but my kids have been really healthy, son who's 15 has never been on antibiotics and my girls have only had one lot each.

Saying that if ladies don't want to do it then that's fine, but I do find it a little sad that some decide not to before even trying.................

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I agree that mums have to do whats best for them. My issue is those that decide not to ever even try..

As I said I see it the same as those that don't want to push.. you have to try over here now.. can't elect to not try unless for medical reasons. I think breastfeeding should be same..

But if a woman doesn't manage it for whatever reason they shouldn't be made to feel bad. It's the lack of even trying.. I mean the first thing they do when you have a baby is put it to the breast.. so at least at that point you would think people would try.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I don't see no problem with it. It depends though there are inappropriate places to do it. Like a mosque or a football game in the crowd.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My (adoptive) mother had no choice. I was her only child. Bond is there regardless. For me, and Im not dissing anyone here, the bond feels stronger than If she was my natural mother.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that."

as I said.. some have medical reasons... But from my sister that had to have c sections too.. she didn't feed first.. but did the second.. she found it easier as she didn't have to mess around preparing bottles. First time she was to ill after..

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

I wanted to breast feed both my children but was unable to, and as a first time mum was made to feel guilty about it by the midwife. I tried to, but no matter how much help and support from the Breastfeeding counsellor he still wouldn't feed,I now know he is a lazy little git

so in the end the Dr and midwife (different one) told me to try the bottle as he wasn't getting enough.

So I thought I would give it another go with our 2nd child. She got the idea straight away, but I had to take antibiotics which made her sick, so put her on the bottle till it was out of my system, but it was too late, she refused to go back to breast

I fully support any woman's choice of how they feed their baby, whether it be breast or bottle, I don't feel it makes much difference ( my personal opinion )

and if a woman wishes to feed her child naturally in a public place, well done her, I see no reason why she shouldn't. Saying that though, there are some places where it may not be the best idea, can you imagine the reaction from a group of teenage boys for example if one of their mums got her boob out to feed their baby brother

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a great believer in breast feeding, and when I have a child I fully intend to. I don't care if small minded people out there don't like it. At the end of the day breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world and I find it appalling that it's looked down on as something to be ashamed of. The first person to say something to me when I do it, will be getting a not so nice piece of my mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I am not talking about them... Just the ones that never even consider it. Why not.. I think these mums need more support and encouragement. "

To be honest Cali I don't think the help and support are there anymore, the wards are now like conveyor belts and they want in and out as quickly as possible. I had my last daughter at 12.35pm and i was signed out and at home by 3pm and wasn't even asked about beast feeding or not....Ruby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

does breast feeding ruin your breasts and make them saggy then, mine are saggy enough as it is, wouldnt want them to be any saggier.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone seen that documentary with that woman who was still breastfeeding her 9 year old child? lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone seen that documentary with that woman who was still breastfeeding her 9 year old child? lol"

what about her poor hubby then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But can you can elect not to try now!

It's choice. We all have the right to chose, we chose to get pregnant, we chose where and how that baby is brought into the world (to some extent) and we choose how to feed it.

As long as those choices are informed choice and all the relevant advice is given, I have no objections to people choosing what they wish.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant see how people can get offended by breastfeeding, i don't suppose any of them see anything wrong with a man hanging off boobs but not a naby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option.. "

I see exactly where your coming from Cali, I have had friends who have stated they won't breast fed due to it being disgusting, or there boobs are just for their hubby.

I just find it sad they won't even try, they may be one of the lucky ones who find it a breeze yet they'll never know .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they were super droopy lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"does breast feeding ruin your breasts and make them saggy then, mine are saggy enough as it is, wouldnt want them to be any saggier.

Look at my pics, don't think they r saggy and I've fed 3

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I am not talking about them... Just the ones that never even consider it. Why not.. I think these mums need more support and encouragement.

my youngest is 7 and I had more help with her than any of the others...

As to does it ruin your breasts.. well I've had 6 kids and breastfed them all and nearly 40 and they are not saggy and quite firm. So no.. don't think it does. In fact it's nature's way of helping you get your body back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant see how people can get offended by breastfeeding, i don't suppose any of them see anything wrong with a man hanging off boobs but not a naby

that i do like to see.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I breast fed all mine, only once was i asked not to feed my son in a public place and to go into the toilet. I asked the manager if he ate his food in the loo, dont be obsurd he said thats disgusting. Well my son aint eating his in there either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a bit believer in breast feeding, did it for 2months with my little boy and wouldnt change it if I could! I have an amazing bond with him and even though now he gets confused between my mum and I, I think if you can well done and if not be as well try!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First thing I want to say is what ever someone decides to do is their choice !!

I bottle fed my 2 eldest because I wanted to.

I breastfed my 2 youngest because I wanted to.

I have the same bond with all 4 of my Beautiful Daughters because I love them all equally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i didnt breast feed my son. i never indended too!! i gave him my body for almost 10 months and that was long enough!! it doesnt make me lazy or selfish. it meant that his dad could feed him and bond with him as well!! good luck to all those people who do it but it just wasnt for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/13 14:02:39]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, m not going to get into the debate of if its a benefit or not to the child / mother bond BUT

it IS the most natural thing to do , think back thru the evolution of mankind .......a mother feeding her baby by breast feeding was / is totally natural in human beings , it is only thru time that opinions have changed .....humans wearing clothes , not for warmth but for fashion ( indirectly to attract the opposite sex some may say , which is also another human instinct of attracting a mate ) .

in my opinion there is nothing wrong with breast feeding in a public place , I, m sure most mothers would do it as discreetly as possible , the " need " of the infant child is more important than opinions of possibly ( I said possibly ) people having differing opinions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option.. "

I'm one of four children. None of us were breastfed - the thought of it disgusted my mum. That was the culture I was brought up in and it passed over to me. Although I wasn't disgusted by it, I had a huge mental block and didn't even want to try it.

I didn't consider myself 'above it' and it had nothing to do with me not wanting to spoil my boobs. I just didn't want to do it - I knew I'd NEVER be able to do it in public which would have restricted me.

I think your narrow minded, judgemental attitude is as bad as those saying they're disgusted by a woman breastfeeding in public. I had a very close bond to all my children and they were all healthy and happy.

ALL women should be supported in whatever CHOICE they make - how about not making ANY woman 'feel bad'??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/13 14:04:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option..

ALL women should be supported in whatever CHOICE they make - how about not making ANY woman 'feel bad'??"

I'm actually quite happy to be seen as judgmental on this. I have told a few mums to be my views... All actually then questioned why... And then did at least try... those first few days it's very important... I won't change my view on the fact that it should be something you try first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

sorry but you dont give your body to your baby... You choose to have the baby.. same dad's can feed baby's when breastfed too.. what do you do if not feed them when they put the baby In your arms after you have them... I really don't know how your instincts don't take over..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I disagree wholeheartedly with this!! I didn't want to try with my first, I was 18, covered in stretch marks, really lacked the confidence and it really was not the done thing in my family. I went on to breastfeed my next two(older, wiser, living with hubby)and I loved every second of it, it's the thing I will miss most if we don't have another but do I regret not feeding my eldest myself? No, it wasn't right for us at that time and he's absolutely fine, we have a great bond.

Breast is best and I do everything I can to support a breastfeeding mother but there's nothing wrong with exercising your own individual choice. Too posh to push is just silly, major abdominal surgery? Um, no thanks!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breastfeed by all means, breast is best after all...do it in public no problem, just be discrete about it, not everyone feels comfortable with someone around them breastfeeding... Each to their own...it needs to be respected and not a song and dance made

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option..

ALL women should be supported in whatever CHOICE they make - how about not making ANY woman 'feel bad'??"

^^that could be me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Breastfeed by all means, breast is best after all...do it in public no problem, just be discrete about it, not everyone feels comfortable with someone around them breastfeeding... Each to their own...it needs to be respected and not a song and dance made "

On a forum like this, really? Nobody whips out both boobs and starts spraying milk all over the place. It can be bloody hard to latch a baby on and some are harder to feed than others so if someone needs to show a little more boob then let them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm currently training to become a bosom buddy and go into hospitals to help new mothers breastfeed and attend groups for mums for added support.

My personal opinion is that breastfeeding is the best start you can give to your child. Its the most natural thing in the world and what our bodies are designed to do.

The problem is we live in a society where everything is sexualized and therefore feeding ect contradicts what we are taught as a whole. This leads to judgment and embarassment putting many mums to be off from breastfeeding.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

I am not talking about them... Just the ones that never even consider it. Why not.. I think these mums need more support and encouragement. "

Who's going to give it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sorry. I just think that most people chose not to because of things that are nothing to do with the actual breastfeeding.

I guess having always felt I should try.. and no I didn't succeed as long as I wanted with all..

but sometimes it's because they feel that it's frowned on...

I only used the pushing thing to say that at one point people were electing to not push.. that was stopped... I think breastfeeding should be similar.. Ie plan to try but know there are back up plans. I know it's a strong view.

And normally I'm all for women's choice... But well. It's my view..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otswoldMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Of course breast is not the choice of some mothers and i sympathise with those for whom it is a force of circumstances rather than choice.

nevertheless, I think that the good news is that breast feeding in public is gradually becoming more acceptable. My only reservation being that I felt that I needed to say "gradually".

Recently I saw a woman feeding her baby discretely in a corner of our local Waitrose cafe. Nobody seemed to bat an eyelid.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

believe me no matter where you decide to feed your child someone will spot you, I fed all 3 of my kids and as I refused to use public toilets like some would have you go, I fed them where I could, if I was in a café I'd sit away in a corner etc but there would always be someone spot you and sit staring

Breastfeeding a baby is the most natural thing in the world you shouldn't have to hid away, people don't have to look they just choose to so they have something to moan about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/13 14:19:52]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well imho i did give him my body yes i chose to have him but i also chose not to breastfeed!!

what did i do with the baby in my arms if i didnt breast feed him?? well i bottle fed him and was able to tell exactly how much he had taken!! and i feel because of that he was in a very good routine within a few days and sleepin through the night at 2 months. he is happy healthy and strong and we have a very very close bond!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"I'm sorry. I just think that most people chose not to because of things that are nothing to do with the actual breastfeeding.

I guess having always felt I should try.. and no I didn't succeed as long as I wanted with all..

but sometimes it's because they feel that it's frowned on...

And normally I'm all for women's choice... But well. It's my view.. "

It was not stopped, there are a lot of people that have elective sections for maternal request, it only takes two docs to sign.

I am all for women's choice, I believe breast is best and there is no disputing that, I will 100% support a woman to consider, initiate and sustain breastfeeding but I will also be there when she picks up a bottle to reassure her because that's support, you're describing biased pressure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

really......

having a child of my own I'm fully aware of the feeding process and how hard it can be...i have in no way said a woman can't breastfeed in public...what I am saying us be discrete and don't be offended if asked to refrain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think that it maybe more due to upbringing.. my mum didn't feed me.. yet I chose to.. partly for me it was because it was cheaper and I wanted to regain my figure.. (was a size 10 back then.) It also meant no getting out of bed to get a bottle.

When I had my first though the hospital didn't really help. Baby was taken and kept in the nursery.. and they actually bottle fed him one feed as they said I needed my sleep.

Things change..and now it's very much pro breastfeeding... I don't think I would have dared even consider a bottle with my last child as my midwife was so pro breastfeeding.. but out of my group only two women didn't try.

I've fed my kids at everywhere.. race tracks. in a school concert.. because if baby needs feeding that's what you do x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sorry. I just think that most people chose not to because of things that are nothing to do with the actual breastfeeding.

I guess having always felt I should try.. and no I didn't succeed as long as I wanted with all..

but sometimes it's because they feel that it's frowned on...

And normally I'm all for women's choice... But well. It's my view..

It was not stopped, there are a lot of people that have elective sections for maternal request, it only takes two docs to sign.

as far as I am aware you can only do so for medical reasons.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree with this if you breast feed you have a better bond, that's like saying women who give birth natural have a better bond that if you had a section

how you choose to feed you child is upto you, it does not show a level of love

What I don't agree with is people trying to put their views on others

I breastfed all my babies because if im honest not just because its better for your baby but also because when I was young I didn't have loads of money and it was cheaper and easier

we all have the rights to choose how we feed our babies but those who do breastfeed also have the right to not to be made to feel dirty for doing so

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I am absolutely sick and tired of women being criticised or made feel guilty about either choosing whether or not to breastfeed OR not being able to breastfeed for various reasons. What's best for one person is not necessarily best for another. End of. Women can do without this constant judgement and vilification.

I am also sick and tired of those who complain about women breastfeeding in public. I have NEVER seen a breastfeeding mother be anything other than discreet when doing it in public. Besides, if it bothers you so much don't bloody look! If you don't like it that's YOUR problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"I am absolutely sick and tired of women being criticised or made feel guilty about either choosing whether or not to breastfeed OR not being able to breastfeed for various reasons. What's best for one person is not necessarily best for another. End of. Women can do without this constant judgement and vilification.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"I'm sorry. I just think that most people chose not to because of things that are nothing to do with the actual breastfeeding.

I guess having always felt I should try.. and no I didn't succeed as long as I wanted with all..

but sometimes it's because they feel that it's frowned on...

And normally I'm all for women's choice... But well. It's my view..

It was not stopped, there are a lot of people that have elective sections for maternal request, it only takes two docs to sign.

as far as I am aware you can only do so for medical reasons. "

I'm a midwife, if you're too scared(very subjective) then you can have one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsSwinger28Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

really......

Asking to refrain is illegal and NOBODY would ask someone to stop feeding their baby any other way, it's cruel and just bloody stupid.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

really......

I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me to refrain. But I think they might be when I tell them to piss off. If be more concerned at having to make my small baby wait for his milk when he's crying hungry then offending some idiot who doesn't want to see a tiny bit of boob.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm a midwife, if you're too scared(very subjective) then you can have one

didn't know that..

I guess it just makes me sad that some people don't even want to try.. I am not disgusted I just don't get it.. )

However just in this thread it seems others opinions on the acceptability is a huge reason... So it means much more work needs doing.

as it was such a nice time for me... After the initial period of pain and agony.

All my kids slept well as babies though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oversforfun2000Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

This subject is always going to divide, I had my first daughter and tried to breast feed but after a 48 hr labour I was exhausted and she refused to latch on!! Did I feel a failure....yes it was awful the pressure do be perfect can be far to much, I went on to have 2 more and managed to feed them myself but to say I must have a better bond with them 2 is ridiculous I love them all the same!!

My other point is going to send the cat amongst the pigeons so to speak, while I fully support a woman's choice to feed in public this was something I could never do, I hated the thought of it!! Yes it's the most natural thing in the world but so is doing the toilet and I do that in private also!!!

Judging other mothers about whether they feed is wrong and to call them selfish is just plain cruel to add more pressure at 1 of the hardest and most demanding times of their life is not right in any way at all!!

Just my wee 2p worth!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"This subject is always going to divide, I had my first daughter and tried to breast feed but after a 48 hr labour I was exhausted and she refused to latch on!! Did I feel a failure....yes it was awful the pressure do be perfect can be far to much, I went on to have 2 more and managed to feed them myself but to say I must have a better bond with them 2 is ridiculous I love them all the same!!

Just my wee 2p worth!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember going on my stag do in spain, their was a mum breastfeeding her baby walking down thr street. I can't see that catching on over here, I do think there should be more areas for mums that do breast feed their children.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don't know if I was breastfed or not.

And I'll be fucked if I'm gonna ask!!!

Think I'd rather live in fucking ignorance on that one!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Haven't read the thread it will tell you my thoughts. The country is obsessed by breast finding and how it is best for baby and mother bond.

Up until not so many years ago I carried a tremendous guilt round with me which wasn't helped by programmes I watched. My son was nearly 8 weeks premature and had to be tube fed. I never had the option.

He was a perfect baby was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks, he never cried and was the most content baby ever.

I'm not saying breast doest give them a good start but society should stop making those who can't or don't want to feel guilty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women should be able to do it where ever they want. It's what human mothers do. Putting them in a room so as not to offend anyones Victorian sensibilities is disgraceful.

This country's getting worse with every passing year.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree if you don't like what you see look away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is something to be said for bottle feeding, that I don't think has come up so far... it is good if the fathers get to feed the baby at some point both to allow the mother to sleep a bit more and also to allow the father the weird quality time you get when putting stuff into the baby rather than just clearing up what comes out.

But hell anyway or anywhere they want to feed it is just fine, so long as it's looked after properly then that's all good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

My views on breast feeding are usually clandestine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Furry furtive fucka!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Furry furtive fucka!"

THIS

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

It doesn't matter what any of you think.

I'm amazed some posters even attempt to justify their choices to others.

All the anecdote in the world doesn't form a drop of scientific proof nor moral argument.

My tits, my children, my family, my community, my hospital , my N.H.S , my reasons, my choice.

Fuck your choice.

Amen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My tits, my children, my family, my community, my hospital , my N.H.S , my reasons, my choice.

plus I don't really care what people do so long as I can get on with my life relatively undisturbed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once got asked to go to the toilet on a train when breastfeeding....i also asked them to fuck right off...if the most natural thing in the world offends you then dont look or move.

Its natural and i didnt care when feeding mine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also agree its a womans choice and they should make the right one for them regardless what others think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Why do people object to it so much? Is it seeing a nearly naked beast in public? Christ you see more boob on a beach than you do when it's got a baby latched on to it.

Is it awkward questions from older children and not knowing how to answer them?

We are the only species that has an issue with mothers feeding their young and this is because boobs are a sexual thing to most people.

I have never had kids but when I do skill try to breast feed and I will do it where I please. I may chose to do it discretely with a cloth covering the baby and my boon or I may not but I sure as he'll won't skulk off to dome special room like I'm a fucking leper!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iguy197Man
over a year ago

st albans

Don't like seeing a woman breastfeeding in public - don't look. It's your problem - tough - go away and deal with it.

And breathe ....

I shall add no more as it would only be a reiteration of what I have just said."

We agree. We totally support it. It's totally natural and should be allowed to happen wherever the baby needs to. Just as if a woman wants to bottle feed then that's their choice too x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if they just plain old don't want to try? It's a personal decision.

I totally agree and for someone who doesn't want to be judged for breast feeding in public that seemed to be a whole lot of judgement against mums who don't!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like political correctness gone totally mad. Oh no look, boob skin on show in public!!

We can't be having that now can we, think of the children and other sexual deviant things it must mean if women do....

Have no issue with people breast feeding wherever they like. Last time I witnessed it was in a church at a friends wedding! As many have said it's a perfectly natural part of life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I fed all 4 of mine (the first was after a c-section) - for 6 months, 11 months and just under 3 years each for the last two (stopping with no 3 when I was 3 months pregnant with no 4) I was lucky - milk came in and was plentiful and I was like a cow. Never had sore/ cracked nipples nor mastitis, either. However, I also knew how to look after my boobs (eg expressing off an overfull boob where I was told it could lead to blocked ducts etc) and rubbing milk into my nipples.

I'm of the opinion that all mothers should try for those first feeds - the colostrum is so important and beneficial to baby. After that, well, I'd still like people to continue. There shouldn't be a stigma attached to a perfectly natural, non sexual act. I happily fed walking around with a baby in a sling, sat in a cafe, sat in the street, in the cinema... wherever my baby needed a feed I'd provide it (and no I'm not an 'earth mother' type - but bf is easier on the go than bottles) I wish there was more support for people to continue it after the initial week or so. And that people didn't think it makes your boobs saggy - grrrr!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"I fed all 4 of mine (the first was after a c-section) - for 6 months, 11 months and just under 3 years each for the last two (stopping with no 3 when I was 3 months pregnant with no 4) I was lucky - milk came in and was plentiful and I was like a cow. Never had sore/ cracked nipples nor mastitis, either. However, I also knew how to look after my boobs (eg expressing off an overfull boob where I was told it could lead to blocked ducts etc) and rubbing milk into my nipples.

I'm of the opinion that all mothers should try for those first feeds - the colostrum is so important and beneficial to baby. After that, well, I'd still like people to continue. There shouldn't be a stigma attached to a perfectly natural, non sexual act. I happily fed walking around with a baby pin a sling, sat in a cafe, sat in the street, in the cinema... wherever my baby needed a feed I'd provide it (and no I'm not an 'earth mother' type - but bf is easier on the go than bottles) I wish there was more support for people to continue it after the initial week or so. And that people didn't think it makes your boobs saggy - grrrr!! "

And a lovely pair of boobs you have too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

And I do agree that you should be able to breast feed where you like they all tend to use these pieces of muslin to cover a bit. I'm just totally against people whom don't want to be judged, judging those for whatever reason don't breast feed. Someone would soon get told if they interfered with what I did with my child

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts are bottle fed children and mothers who do would still have a lovely bond with their child.

Each to there own , I bottle fed mine Nd both healthy happy and we have. Solid relationship .... I think there's loads of support , maybe depends on your area ... What I hated was being frowned upon for not breast feeding !

My sister did , and ranted on about the health issues ... Well mine hardly see a doctor , both hers have throat ear and nose trouble !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a lactating woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could I add that it is the most natural and surely best for the baby and the mum. However if there are any lactating mums with any to spare .... Give us a shout as it's one of the few kinks left on our bucket list - mmmmm !!!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boob?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women should be able to do it where ever they want. It's what human mothers do. Putting them in a room so as not to offend anyones Victorian sensibilities is disgraceful.

This country's getting worse with every passing year."

Couldn't agree more. Breastfeeding is a perfectly natural aspect of being a human being. So is procreation, defecation and urination. we should all stop being so hung-up about these perfectly natural acts and allow them anywhere and everywhere.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women should be able to do it where ever they want. It's what human mothers do. Putting them in a room so as not to offend anyones Victorian sensibilities is disgraceful.

This country's getting worse with every passing year.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum has always said shed have love to been able to feed us naturally.... she couldn't....,does it make her less of a mother? Not for me xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Women should be able to do it where ever they want. It's what human mothers do. Putting them in a room so as not to offend anyones Victorian sensibilities is disgraceful.

This country's getting worse with every passing year.

oh what rubbish... Breastfeeding is nothing like going to the toilet. You don't notice a woman feeding.. it's no real difference to feeding with a bottle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women should be able to do it where ever they want. It's what human mothers do. Putting them in a room so as not to offend anyones Victorian sensibilities is disgraceful.

This country's getting worse with every passing year.

oh what rubbish... Breastfeeding is nothing like going to the toilet. You don't notice a woman feeding.. it's no real difference to feeding with a bottle. "

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree if you don't like what you see look away."

I would be more concerned with the people getting of on watchnig just on the off chance they might get a glimpse of a womans breast.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?"

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't."

As an unnaturally yucky person, why would feeding your child be frowned upon? I can't understand it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to sit sideways on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't.

As an unnaturally yucky person, why would feeding your child be frowned upon? I can't understand it?"

you and me both xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't.

As an unnaturally yucky person, why o feed would feeding your child be frowned upon? I can't understand it?

you and me both xxx"

I don't do babies..,, prefer puppies,, but all mothers should be allowed to feed their child surely?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our two were both breast fed. 11 months for the first one and a year for the second.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't.

As an unnaturally yucky person, why o feed would feeding your child be frowned upon? I can't understand it?

you and me both xxx

I don't do babies..,, prefer puppies,, but all mothers should be allowed to feed their child surely?"

that is what I'm saying. Some seem to think it should be hidden away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're all natural bodily functions - why discriminate? Obviously, the health implications for toiletting in public are obvious, but why not procreation?

because it's indecent..where as feeding a baby isn't."

Levels of what is or isn't decent seem to vary greatly from person to person, and culture to culture. Like it or not, we live in a multi-cultural society.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like it or not, women are designed to be able to feed children in a certain way.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like it or not, women are designed to be able to feed children in a certain way....."

The question is not how, but where and when. For many centuries, humans have disguised their nudity with unnecessary clothing, have procreated in private etc. According to some posters on this thread, breastfeeding has also been done in private in the past and babies have done just fine. What's changed?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Levels of what is or isn't decent seem to vary greatly from person to person, and culture to culture. Like it or not, we live in a multi-cultural society."

I doubt any culture has an issue with a woman feeding a baby... I have been asked to take my son to a toilet as some woman had complained that I was feeding. I had learnt to be very discreet... And you couldn't see anything. So I refused.

These days I would think it was only the odd few that had issues with it...I see now why some women choose not too.. there has been so many comments and I'm shocked that people really see a problem with a woman doing the most natural thing.

I have messages from women that felt they couldn't as there partners wanted their breasts for them...people that felt it wouldn't be possible to feed even at home..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Levels of what is or isn't decent seem to vary greatly from person to person, and culture to culture. Like it or not, we live in a multi-cultural society.

I have messages from women that felt they couldn't as there partners wanted their breasts for them...people that felt it wouldn't be possible to feed even at home..

If you doubt any culture has an issue with a woman feeding a baby... in public, then you should ask a Hindu, Muslim or Jew of which there are over 4 million in the UK. I really do wonder if the breast-feeding in public thing is just another one of those "I'll do what I want, and sod everyone else" kind of things that are increasingly popular these days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I am stupidly shocked by some comments I have read on this thread, but seriously, wow....

I don't think women should be made to hide whilst breast feeding their child, nor do I agree with some who enjoy waving their boobs about and making a song and dance about feeding their child.

I also am offended by being accused of being a "lazy"/"too posh to push" etc because I made a CHOICE not to breast feed. That's right, a choice!

I gave birth naturally and felt a tremendous amount of pressure even before giving birth to be a super mum and to do everything naturally. So I decided NOT to breast feed in case I failed mainly, and after hearing how one health care assistant spoke to another mum on my ward when she was struggling, I'm glad I decided on bottles.

Straight after being born, my little one was given to me for skin on skin time, (look it up) but were actually whisked away as I needed urgent medical attention. So bang went the breast feeding even if I wanted to.

As to me not having bonded with my kids, I have to say that is absolute bollocks!

I find it quite draconian, and actually disgusting to force mums to breast feed and to look down on other mums when they decide not to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What exactly is you problem with it... It's natural and not offensive. And I don't live in a Muslim or Jewish country. And I bet still lots feed their babies..

Mothers don't exactly sit their with breasts hanging out... In fact I could manage without exposing any breast. So people's objections were on the fact I was quietly feeding a baby. Not that they had seen some breast.

I really honestly fail to see how it can offend anyone. even less so on here... Or by anyone a parent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the primary function of breasts those that don't like breast feeding in public get over it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Before I start, it wouldn't bother me to see pregnant women feeding their babies while out but I do think sometimes it is a case of " I want to do this and you won't be stopping me " type of thing. ( not that anyone should stop the feeding )

I know sometimes babies want a bit of feed inbetween feeds....but normally a baby feeds at set hours....so I am sure people could time it so they are confortable feeding their child at home...after all, it can't be much fun or much bonding going on while hiding your breast from onlookers and covering your babys head with a blanket.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

after all, it can't be much fun or much bonding going on while hiding your breast from onlookers and covering your babys head with a blanket."

That's another good point. Having a cloth or whatever over the babies face always looks awful to me. For those who say "Why don't you eat in the toilet?" how about would you like a cloth over your face whilst eating?

As I said earlier, I'm really not fussed about whether people breast feed or not, but it's the whole 'in your face' and 'i'm a better mum' brigade that do my head in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Some comments from both side of the argument are quite upsetting on this post.

I didn't breast feed my child, tried it the first night but my father turned up to visit and I got very flustered and embarrassed and stopped, I was quite young and was very nervous, naive and got embarrassed my my own nudity/body very easily. I could never have breasted in front of my own family let alone the general public, regardless of whether you could see anything or not.

Did I feel a failure? Of course I did. Did it affect the bond I have with my child? I don't believe so, people constantly comment on how close we are.

However, I fully support anyone's right to breastfeed their children anywhere they need to, now I'm older I may think differently towards it, it's a shame things seem so black or white for some people commenting on this thread x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"Some comments from both side of the argument are quite upsetting on this post.

Did I feel a failure? Of course I did. Did it affect the bond I have with my child? I don't believe so, people constantly comment on how close we are.

Excellent post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I said earlier, I'm really not fussed about whether people breast feed or not, but it's the whole 'in your face' and 'i'm a better mum' brigade that do my head in."

I don't think it makes you a better mum .. but I do think that attitudes of those around and health professionals mean to many mums won't try for fear of not being able to.

I couldn't feed my 3rd child properly. She didn't always latch on perfectly due to her downs... I was encouraged to give up.. not to bother... But I spoke to a support group and they advised me to express as well... Which worked for me.. yet those that should have helped me didn't.

my views are just that that I think mums should try... I was with a woman whose baby was in sbcu... But she was expressing too...

I do think that take away the superiority of breastfeeding that more would try... My comments on comparing it to. If mums that chose not to push was just that I feel like now you really are encouraged to give birth naturally first.

I just think that there is not enough done to encourage it... And less pressure should it not be successful..

I didn't have a blanket... I just had nursing blouses or tops.. if baby is turned towards you.. all others can see is baby's head.

As to can you time visits so baby didn't need feeding.. not really if your out for the day... I had a friend who actually stopped feeding in her own house if she had visitors or her older son was in.. I thought that was a bit silly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I loved it.. both times for a year.. my son was 5 weeks early and in hospital for a month i had to express the milk so my hubby could take it down to feed him.. we had no car at that time and not much money so was easier for him to go. I was scared to bond in case he left us. when i got him home he was back in within four days with a hernia which had to be operated on but i kept expressing and managed to feed him properly from about 6 weeks on..

I could feed anywhere even round the ideal home exhibition with my daughter up my jumper , no one knew. I would encourage all mums to try..would and do give any advise on how to do it .

Was one of my greatest pleasures to feed my children.

With my first I had so much milk they would take mine for the premmie babies too. So I helped other babies grow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"Got to put me in the "too posh to push" brigade too then.

And no, that wasn't through choice!

People forget that c-sections are major abdominal surgery. It's hard work for at least the first 6 weeks. Calling any new mother any name for whatever reason is just plain wrong.

We all make decisions based on our personal circumstances, other people need to respect that.

guess my issue is with those that just won't consider it as an option..

ALL women should be supported in whatever CHOICE they make - how about not making ANY woman 'feel bad'??"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a midwife my views are probably very skewed!

Breastfeeding cafes, rooms and support in my eyes are a great thing if they can encourage a mum to prolong her breastfeeding experience "

I always appreciated places that had accommodations when i was breastfeeding. There was a shopping mall that provided a very comfortable room specifically for breastfeeding and i went out of my way to shop there so i didn't have to worry about where i would be able to comfortably bf my son. I don't understand why this is such a controversial issue. Isn't this what breast are for?

I do have to say it is certainly a mothers right to choose if they will or wont and i do not think less of women who choose not to but for me personally the health benefits are so great that i wanted to provide that for my son even though it was difficult at first. My son hardly ever gets sick and has never had an earache and i believe that its due to breastfeeding. i do think women should at least try.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I breast fed both my boys, and feel it was a huge bonding experience xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread