FabSwingers.com forum: should you either have to be able to travel or accommodate, if not what can you do on here?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm quite new to this site still, but on quite a few people's profile they state cannot accommodate and cannot travel, ok...... now I'm not stupid, but that says to me you can't swing at home and you can't go out swinging (probably because your not being totally honest)......which makes me wonder why are you on here?!? it's a swingers site and a chance for people to have nsa adult fun.....Yeah it's scary to some people meeting someone you barely know for sex , for others that's the thrill and let's be honest you don't have to shag straight away, again some people make it clear that sex is out first meeting......but if your gonna get nervous and it's to much for you, join pof.....Because let's face it there are loads of people on here full of sh1t and just waste people's time....there are fabbers who really want to arrange meets, that will go ahead as planned not just drop devoted fab swingers in it, at the last min!!! Can anyone shed some light on that? Because for example in the north west 3 out of 4 people I arranged to meet pulled out last min.....I was going to give up this site, but I logged on when visiting the north east for an hour and the difference within that hour, was unbelievable that it was the same site. Made a few friends one in particular and she is what this site is all about, totally restored my confidence in fab.....maybe it's just me??? Please don't see that as a dig at the swingers in the north west, because I am meeting a lovely lady tomorrow afternoon and take it from me who is definitely the real deal, I guess it's just a case of, if your not interested don't play games. It's the kind of place "players" can go shag till there hearts content and not go around playing with people's emotions and feelings instead of going on dating sites promising people the earth to get them in the sack.....then leaving them in pieces.......saying "it's not you it's me" and bullshit like that......but I'm interested in what you fab lot have to say, I maybe way off the mark, but it just seems like an adult sex playground and if it isn't abused it's the dogs? Happy swinging

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Maybe be it is just their way to filter out some people...Or they are too afraid to welcome a stranger into their house and also afraid of stepping outside.

Someone who said he or she cannot accommodate does not mean cannot have sex.

Travel may mean going out of town to meet somebody.

People in the north west? I have no clue what you base your conclusion on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been on this great site for over a year.I am as nervous as hell because I have not had a woman in over 25 years,and not been with a man for at least 15 years.I had my first meet with a man last week and it was great.For most of the year I had been on I was on tender hooks getting a hard on when speaking with the person,but when it came to the meet I bottled out.But when I meet this bloke all my fears of inadiquisy disappeared.I know I will never meet a woman on here,but would love to keep on meeting young over 18 men.I now know women on this site are just not interested in me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was a Big rant of sorts, but for example I read a profile today which said cannot accommodate / can travel....... I think they were roughly 10 - 15 miles away but the next thing that she said was don't drive so cannot go out of town, but that's fine for me theyes are willing to travel. I think that to to me cannot acaccommodate / cannot travel means what can you do?...literally what it says fuck all, sit at home look at pics and toss off....while filling people full of shit?? again maybe I'm not explaining myself but that to me says I'm married and he or she don't know I do this.....which to me is again ok if people are honest and said I can't because I'm doing it behind my partners back or because I'm a single parent......in both cases I need lots of notice to meet, but instead of that, these (Not all) people seem to play along and the other person and I know loads of people this has happened to and they get strung along and dropped at the last min. Basically it's a discrete site if everybody played ball it would run smoother. I think for some people they arrange to meet have a really dirty, conversation, followed by a wank and then fuck that person off? Basically like everything to me it is being abused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess you have to pick them up?

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By *ral.steveMan
over a year ago

LEEDS

I live where I work and don't drive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have can't accom, can't travel on my profile as I don't drive and have kids at home. I will accom if I know the people and the kids are away, it just s out the wambammers.

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"I now know women on this site are just not interested in me."

U never know! Every woman is after something different!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

It's really not that difficult to figure out. I cannot travel/accom as I have a young son and don't drive. But will happily get a local hotel or go to someone's house if they are reasonably nearby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't travel or accommodate but still meet people don't assume things about people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't travel or accommodate but still meet people don't assume things about people

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"
couldnt of said it better myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's really not that difficult to figure out. I cannot travel/accom as I have a young son and don't drive. But will happily get a local hotel or go to someone's house if they are reasonably nearby "

This

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It was a Big rant of sorts, but for example I read a profile today which said cannot accommodate / can travel....... I think they were roughly 10 - 15 miles away but the next thing that she said was don't drive so cannot go out of town, but that's fine for me theyes are willing to travel. I think that to to me cannot acaccommodate / cannot travel means what can you do?...literally what it says fuck all, sit at home look at pics and toss off....while filling people full of shit?? again maybe I'm not explaining myself but that to me says I'm married and he or she don't know I do this.....which to me is again ok if people are honest and said I can't because I'm doing it behind my partners back or because I'm a single parent......in both cases I need lots of notice to meet, but instead of that, these (Not all) people seem to play along and the other person and I know loads of people this has happened to and they get strung along and dropped at the last min. Basically it's a discrete site if everybody played ball it would run smoother. I think for some people they arrange to meet have a really dirty, conversation, followed by a wank and then fuck that person off? Basically like everything to me it is being abused

Probably best if you concentrate on the profiles that state they are looking for single men and they can travel and accommodate, because it sounds like you're not enjoying yourself. No point in getting wound up about what others have on their profiles is it? Concentrate on your pleasure and ignore the rest.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

To all those posting before me: I haven't read any responses as im off out pronto - apols ( of sorts ) if I repeat you.

To the O.P.

Why are you so insulting ?

It's interesting that whilst you are not getting meets you proclaim the site to be worthless and think of leaving.

You also question the behaviour and reasoning of other site members. You even begin to make regional comparisons and claim that 'there are loads of people here who are full of shit' ......You even ask people why they are here. You claim they are nervous and timewasters. This is all very Columbo when you haven't even met them or been a member very long.

It's particularly interesting to me that once a woman agrees to meet you , she becomes ..... 'What this site is all about' .... or 'The Real Deal' ..... or ' A lovely woman'

Women get adoring messages all the time until they say no to someone.

In short - If things aren't going your way you insult....

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

We used to have cannot accom/cannot travel on our old profile as we only met at clubs back then, maybe that's another reason they could have that x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"To all those posting before me: I haven't read any responses as im off out pronto - apols ( of sorts ) if I repeat you.

To the O.P.

Why are you so insulting ?

It's interesting that whilst you are not getting meets you proclaim the site to be worthless and think of leaving.

It's particularly interesting to me that once a woman agrees to meet you , she becomes ..... 'What this site is all about' .... or 'The Real Deal' ..... or ' A lovely woman'

Women get adoring messages all the time until they say no to someone.

In short - If things aren't going your way you insult....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why people need to write an entire book in order to just ask a simple question???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why people need to write an entire book in order to just ask a simple question??? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"

Perfect!!

Ruby

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I always thought 'can't travel/can't accommodate' meant they'd be willing to have a shag on their back doorstep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The travel/accom thing has already been answered as far as I'm concerned.

But yes of course there are regional variations in the number of people swinging. Up here in the highlands where the population is a lot less then of course it's more difficult to meet people. And the number of idiots is more readily apparent.

But if you're having more luck in one area than another it's more likely your approach is wrong.

And reading your post made my eyes hurt, paragraphs please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - I am reliably informed that a certain Mr P McKenna produces a range of relaxation CD's which could help you.

May I also suggest that a revision course in English Grammar maybe a useful addition to ones birthday prezzie wish list..?

Rather feel you may not have enamored yourself too well with a few potential meets with a thread like this...

ted.

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"May I also suggest that a revision course in English Grammar maybe a useful addition to ones birthday prezzie wish list..?"

How very charming of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought 'can't travel/can't accommodate' meant they'd be willing to have a shag on their back doorstep.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"

Simply: this!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"To all those posting before me: I haven't read any responses as im off out pronto - apols ( of sorts ) if I repeat you.

To the O.P.

Why are you so insulting ?

It's interesting that whilst you are not getting meets you proclaim the site to be worthless and think of leaving.

It's particularly interesting to me that once a woman agrees to meet you , she becomes ..... 'What this site is all about' .... or 'The Real Deal' ..... or ' A lovely woman'

Women get adoring messages all the time until they say no to someone.

In short - If things aren't going your way you insult....

Again, simply this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My goodness OP. in only 2 posts on here you do love a good old rant! If people can't accomm or travel why does that bother you. Don't contact. Them, problem solved.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"

you do wonder what some people expectations are on here at times, and of swingers in general... and posts like the OP's can be very revealing as to attitudes...

for 7 weeks of being here,there are some massive generalisations......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who cannot accommodate or travel mean that perhaps they house share or live with family and don't drive or don't have access to a vehicle. It means they then have to accommodate at whoever they meet, or a hotel, and either catch the bus, get a taxi or a train. Nothing sinister in it and it doesn't make them a timewaster, nor not entitled to swing either. I don't accommodate as I have son living with me, does that make me less entitled to swing? No it doesn't

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"OP - I am reliably informed that a certain Mr P McKenna produces a range of relaxation CD's which could help you.

May I also suggest that a revision course in English Grammar maybe a useful addition to ones birthday prezzie wish list..?

Rather feel you may not have enamored yourself too well with a few potential meets with a thread like this...

ted."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why people need to write an entire book in order to just ask a simple question???

and rambling on as I gave up reading it after the first line

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

U MAD BRO!!?¡

I'm not sure joining this site is some sort of legally binding contract that you have to meet people.

A lot of people come on for the craic with no intention to meet. That's their business. Members are free to use this site's facilities in what ever way they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"should you either have to be able to travel or accommodate"

No.

As for the rest of your post, think more coherently about what you're trying to say, and post it again, with some paragraphs in.

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By *iftygreyshadesMan
over a year ago

Aberaeron

"People who cannot accommodate or travel mean that perhaps they house share or live with family and don't drive or don't have access to a vehicle. It means they then have to accommodate at whoever they meet, or a hotel, and either catch the bus, get a taxi or a train. Nothing sinister in it and it doesn't make them a timewaster, nor not entitled to swing either. I don't accommodate as I have son living with me, does that make me less entitled to swing? No it doesn't"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"U MAD BRO!!?¡

I'm not sure joining this site is some sort of legally binding contract that you have to meet people.

A lot of people come on for the craic with no intention to meet. That's their business. Members are free to use this site's facilities in what ever way they want.

Yep some are on here for the forums and chat doesn't make them any less part of the site

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

".. for example in the north west 3 out of 4 people I arranged to meet pulled out last min.....I was going to give up this site, but I logged on when visiting the north east for an hour and the difference within that hour, was unbelievable that it was the same site."

Not sure about your points regarding willingness or ability to travel, but I will say you're bang on the money about the north west - Cumbria seems to be full of women who have profiles here but no intention to meet at all.

Thank fuck for Herdwicks is about all I have to say on that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge."

What noticeable pattern? There is a thread about north east/north west. I think because you're from

Cumbria you might be more tunes in to what happens.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge.

What noticeable pattern? There is a thread about north east/north west. I think because you're from Cumbria you might be more tunes in to what happens."

The pattern is that, compared with other places where I've lived, nothing much happens here at all - so there's precious little to tune into, especially where meeting women is concerned. Sure, there may be women here who have profiles but, as far as I can tell, not many seem interested in communicating or meeting.

I can only comment on what I've noticed and I can't speak about the NE or parts of the NW that are south of me. I can only speak about Cumbria because that's where I am.

On the other hand, one nice thing about being here is the ability to call Yorkshiremen "southerners" - because let's face it, they're not really from the north are they?

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge."

I'm doing me best

To paraphrase Good Queen Bess...I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the libido and stamina of a horny goat

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge.

I'm doing me best

To paraphrase Good Queen Bess...I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the libido and stamina of a horny goat

Hi Caz.

I'll admit that I'm generalizing a bit in my comment and also that you are a noticeable and refreshing exception to the trend. Though it wouldn't surprise me at all to hear that Cumbrian men are just as bad for not communicating of meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite new to this site still, but on quite a few people's profile they state cannot accommodate and cannot travel, ok...... now I'm not stupid, but that says to me you can't swing at home and you can't go out swinging (probably because your not being totally honest)......which makes me wonder why are you on here?!? it's a swingers site and a chance for people to have nsa adult fun.....Yeah it's scary to some people meeting someone you barely know for sex , for others that's the thrill and let's be honest you don't have to shag straight away, again some people make it clear that sex is out first meeting......but if your gonna get nervous and it's to much for you, join pof.....Because let's face it there are loads of people on here full of sh1t and just waste people's time....there are fabbers who really want to arrange meets, that will go ahead as planned not just drop devoted fab swingers in it, at the last min!!! Can anyone shed some light on that? Because for example in the north west 3 out of 4 people I arranged to meet pulled out last min.....I was going to give up this site, but I logged on when visiting the north east for an hour and the difference within that hour, was unbelievable that it was the same site. Made a few friends one in particular and she is what this site is all about, totally restored my confidence in fab.....maybe it's just me??? Please don't see that as a dig at the swingers in the north west, because I am meeting a lovely lady tomorrow afternoon and take it from me who is definitely the real deal, I guess it's just a case of, if your not interested don't play games. It's the kind of place "players" can go shag till there hearts content and not go around playing with people's emotions and feelings instead of going on dating sites promising people the earth to get them in the sack.....then leaving them in pieces.......saying "it's not you it's me" and bullshit like that......but I'm interested in what you fab lot have to say, I maybe way off the mark, but it just seems like an adult sex playground and if it isn't abused it's the dogs? Happy swinging

Im married, cant accommodate, cant travel but I state in my profile I can travel to my local town to meet there, can meet other places too. I don't drive, and do give this info to guys if they want to meet me. I get buses or walk. So can travel a bit and can and definitely want/need adult fun.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Just because a woman doesn't want to meet a particular person, doesn't mean they have no intention to meet anyone at all!

Indeed, I'd agree with that statement.

However, when it comes to Cumbria, a noticeable pattern is starting to emerge.

I'm doing me best

To paraphrase Good Queen Bess...I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the libido and stamina of a horny goat

Hi Caz.

As a born n bred Cumbrian, my theory as to why folk can be reluctant to meet is that due to Cumbria being such an insular place there's lots of overlap with work n family...for example, where I work midway along the coast, folk commute from probably 50 - 60 miles in any direction and as there's approx 10000 workers chances of bumping into workmates are reasonably high (I've played with folk I've then bumped into on site on 3 or 4 occasions). Secondly, although we're a big county, we're sparsely populated and traditionally don't move far out of the county therefore when you get chatting its amazing how many friends and acquaintances you can have in common - I've lost count of the number of folk around the county I've chatted to in real life and on Fab who've known my Dad!

Personally, this doesn't cramp my style in the least, but I can understand how some less inhibited folk than myself and those playing away might be less inclined to meet. Having said that, I've met a few very decent local deviants, mostly at parties in the north of the county.

I won't play with local married men as I don't fancy their wives on my doorstep after my neighbours say they saw them knocking and they do seem to be in the majority currently, so I now play mostly either at parties or clubs and I usually travel to meet as Arse End is REALLY remote, even by Cumbrian standards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Previous Threads had covered this already:

One example - http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/183449

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like to invite strangers into my home, however, I can meet at a nearby hotel close to home or slightly further afield, and choose to pay for the room myself. That's why I opted for "Can Accommodate".

The hotel of choice is within walking distance from my home, and I can pop back to check up on the pets without having to arrange for someone to look after them and incur extra cost. Hence I opted for "Cannot Travel".

However, for the right person, I am prepared to travel to meet him half way, up to an hour's drive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another boring rant thread which shows more about the OP that he suspects..

This guy is one reason why I'm greatful this site provides filters..

Jeeezz... Take a chill pill OP, and maybe learn the etiquete of what swinging is really all about. Its NOT instashag or shagngo, it's fabswingers!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought 'can't travel/can't accommodate' meant they'd be willing to have a shag on their back doorstep.

Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Started to read OPS post...gave up by 2nd line

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha sorry guys if I've upset anyone was just a bit annoyed at a certain individual, that night!

Have no Probs with meets etc but certainly didn't mean to put everyone down. There are some top people on here.......but a do think everyone has to admit there are lots of time wasters!

Yeah my grammar is poor probably because I'm using my phone and not pc although even then it's not great...... Like I say, certainly didn't mean to upset anyone....... Totally forgot about the thing I started until just now oops! Happy swinging xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be an option to say will travel within x distance...

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Why people need to write an entire book in order to just ask a simple question??? "

At least a book has paragraphs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like you say - you're quite new to the site - so I'd suggest giving yourself time to settle in before jumping to some of the conclusions you already appear to have made!

This is Fabswingers - not 'instashag'. People are entitled to use the site how THEY choose - not how you think that they should!

Oh. And 'can't accom or travel' generally means they use public transport so are limited to meeting at local hotels, clubs or others house.

So much cynicism after 7 weeks says a lot about your expectations of what you feel the site should be giving you!"

ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha sorry guys if I've upset anyone was just a bit annoyed at a certain individual, that night!

Have no Probs with meets etc but certainly didn't mean to put everyone down. There are some top people on here.......but a do think everyone has to admit there are lots of time wasters!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should be an option to say will travel within x distance..."

As there is now the addition of 'x miles from you direct/by car' etc on the left just under the menu stack, that wouldn't be a bad idea..

Far better, I think, to know who would be prepared to travel to you (and vice versa) than browsing looking for those within a certain radius who may not .... er, 'appeal'...

ted.

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