FabSwingers.com forum: Well had my first meet - Did not go quite as planned though

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

WOW what a meet, but not for good reasons!

I bathed and decided that a polar neck jumper, jeans and trainers was

the best idea, smart but cool and it covered my skinny neck!

I turned up at her house, she was a 43 year old TV called Tilly (real

name Dave an out of work welder from Chesterfield)

Well, I was very excited and before I knew it, she had whipped my

jeans down and had hold of my tallywhacker, she was a bit rough but

before I could say, "Can I go extra large on the fries please" it was all

over, I looked in the mirror on the wall and my face was contorted

like a japanese sniper, I thought I had wet myself but had in fact

cum!!!

JUST THEN....in walked a bloke who called himself her called Pip, well

I'm sure he said that (must have been her brother I guess) and asked

for money, I was taken aback and refused, he said If I did not "he

would slice my kidney out with a spoon" so..... I gave him £50, it

was a new polar neck jumper (still had the tags on inside) and I was

going to take it back on Monday and say it was the wrong size (just a

little retail tip for you there) so did not want blood on it!

He then said if I ever came near his bitch again, I would be sorry, I

thought not a nice way to talk about your sister and left, Tilly never

even waived or anything

I'm not happy that it happened like it did, but have learned a valuable lesson I think...don't wear a polar neck jumper, it rubbed my neck and made it sore!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Sore neck

sore nipple

sore bollocks

£50 short

Are you sure this is the game for you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sore neck

sore nipple

sore bollocks

£50 short

Are you sure this is the game for you?

Oh yes, I will continue on this adventure, just change tack a little, have my eye on another on fabs, so we shall see where that leads!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Bigfella says no!! pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol you are class!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bigfella says no!! pmsl"

We will see...I have winked at him and messaged him a few times, still waiting for a reply though lol (lough out loudly) I think he may be shy and I thought I was !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Bigfella says no!! pmsl

We will see...I have winked at him and messaged him a few times, still waiting for a reply though lol (lough out loudly) I think he may be shy and I thought I was !!!!"

I think he may be sraight! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bigfella says no!! pmsl

We will see...I have winked at him and messaged him a few times, still waiting for a reply though lol (lough out loudly) I think he may be shy and I thought I was !!!!

I think he may be sraight! lol"

Well, like I said earlier, I always thought I was straight until I got that blow job of the taxi driver in Newcastle...we shall see, don't think I will be dabbling with TVs again, that for sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Thats what Rod Hull said as he slid off the roof lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what's a polar neck haha

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"what's a polar neck haha"

One that makes your neck sore cos its got teeth! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"what's a polar neck haha"

They are good for artic conditions actually!

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Jeza, thats terrible! What a mistake to make! You must be kicking yourself...

Fancy wearing a Polar neck with jeans and trainers! Such a faux par!

Where the hush puppies? Still in the wash from last Sundays Bukkake party, I should coco.

Never mind, there's always next time!

Flirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jeza, thats terrible! What a mistake to make! You must be kicking yourself...

Fancy wearing a Polar neck with jeans and trainers! Such a faux par!

Where the hush puppies? Still in the wash from last Sundays Bukkake party, I should coco.

Never mind, there's always next time!

Flirty"

Well my bad dress sense aside, it is no fun when a hooligan/hoody type of fella threatens you with cutlery!!!

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Your telling me, bud!

I was once relieved of a filofax and 4.99 worth of new vests by some skanky scroats wielding a set of crab claw crackers.

A thoroughly unpleasent experience!

Flirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your telling me, bud!

I was once relieved of a filofax and 4.99 worth of new vests by some skanky scroats wielding a set of crab claw crackers.

A thoroughly unpleasent experience!

Flirty"

Well sea food makes me come out in a rash do those crabs claws would have been horrible for me...you have my sympathy

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Being a retail man, I presume you had the forethought to get a VAT receipt?

It all helps...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Being a retail man, I presume you had the forethought to get a VAT receipt?

It all helps..."

I know the Mens Department Manager, so won't be a problem, we went to kick boxing together, but I only lasted a week because I hurt my knee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that is the funniest thing we have read since being on here i am actually crying laughing lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"that is the funniest thing we have read since being on here i am actually crying laughing lol xxx"

Well I'm glad you find it amusing, I think I actually had a slight leakage when I was accosted, but I have only just realised it now when getting ready for bed, so will need to boil a pan!!!

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Surely you've kept the tags in those as well, and can have a word with Dave "Hong Kong Phooey" and he'll sort you out some new grundies too?

What are friends for, eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surely you've kept the tags in those as well, and can have a word with Dave "Hong Kong Phooey" and he'll sort you out some new grundies too?

What are friends for, eh?"

I have no idea what your talking about, you obviously DO NOT work in retail!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am a retail manager i will have you know so i do sympathise

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I used to be quite high up in retail Jeza...I know exactly what you mean lol

I have now left that line of work as it bored the arse off me!

When you mentioned stocktake the other day? well I came over all funny at the thought of it

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Thats what Rod Hull said as he slid off the roof lol"

HA HA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

xxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i am a retail manager i will have you know so i do sympathise "

Well thanks, people think Reatil Managemnt is just soooo easy, we had a Manager off for a month recently with post traumatic stress after the January sales!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Thats what Rod Hull said as he slid off the roof lol

HA HA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

xxxxxxxxxx"

Finally some one got the joke!!! xxxmwahxxx to you Debz

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Thats what Rod Hull said as he slid off the roof lol

HA HA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

xxxxxxxxxx

Finally some one got the joke!!! xxxmwahxxx to you Debz

Acutally wet my pants - seems to be the done thing round here these days!!!

thankfully i kept the reciept and didnt remove the tagsso i wil be taking them back in the morning!!!!

PS - they are a bit slow round here arent they - must be an age thing me thinks

Mwah back at ya xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I have messaged Tilly, but she has bloked me.

I feel slightly let down, but at least I'm in one piece, think I will try my luck a bit closer to home for now, think TVs are not really my cup of tea, unless they are a 54" Sony Widescreen

And yes, the Rod Hull joke was funny, I just missed it last night, I was in a bit of a tiz at what had happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to be quite high up in retail Jeza...I know exactly what you mean lol"

Yes, but the H & S Exec have now determined that supermarket warehouse workers can only go as high as 9', above which a hydraulic set of steps MUST be employed with a safety worker on the ground.

hehehe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to be quite high up in retail Jeza...I know exactly what you mean lol

Yes, but the H & S Exec have now determined that supermarket warehouse workers can only go as high as 9', above which a hydraulic set of steps MUST be employed with a safety worker on the ground.

hehehe"

Actually that is incorrect, I used to be H&S rep, a risk assessment is required that will determine what access equipment and safe system of work is required, but it was a humerous interjection on your part!

My rabbit is not very well now, think he needs to go to the vets tomorrow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to be quite high up in retail Jeza...I know exactly what you mean lol

Yes, but the H & S Exec have now determined that supermarket warehouse workers can only go as high as 9', above which a hydraulic set of steps MUST be employed with a safety worker on the ground.

hehehe

My rabbit is not very well now, think he needs to go to the vets tomorrow!

Just change its batterys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so your one of them people who judges a book by its cover a hooligan/hoodie so everyone who wheres this is a hooligan pmsl yes very wrong he thretened you indeed but lots of peole wear hoodies and are not hooliganns think you been watching to much telly lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to be quite high up in retail Jeza...I know exactly what you mean lol

Yes, but the H & S Exec have now determined that supermarket warehouse workers can only go as high as 9', above which a hydraulic set of steps MUST be employed with a safety worker on the ground.

hehehe

Hey, who really gives a monkeys. We all know the H & S Exec exists purely so that employers can cover their arses and not subject to a lawsuit from workers who injure themselves during the course of thier duties.

On Wednesday I sliced my finger open at work at 1am, went to Cardiff A & E for three hours, got it stiched and thought nothing more of it, only for the company H & S guy to phone me up and ask what happened, I told him, and he then asked me if a) I was trained to do the job that I injured myself doing, b) was I wearing protective gloves and c) what was the liklihood of it happening again.

I replied:

a) I've been a telecoms engineer for 20 years, so yup, I'm trained.

b) have YOU ever tried to do a fiddly job wearing heavy protective gloves?

c) don't be such a twat, if I could answer that question the fookin accident wouldn't have happened in the first place.

He now thinks that additional training is required to prevent a re-occurence of the accident and that I need a refresher course in risk assessment.

I told him to speak to my boss to arrange these days where I will not be actively working - and earning the company money - and my boss told him to fuck off (he actually said "It's not neccessary," but I thought I'd spice it up a bit hehehe)

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By *Y MAN n MECouple
over a year ago

FIFE

can't quite make my mind up wether you are just joking or not, if not then it is a serious issue perhaps we all should take note of, was the tv from a site? if so inform the site admin to get rid of this type of person, you really must be more careful! hope you find a more relaxed type of fun next time. take care XXH&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so your one of them people who judges a book by its cover a hooligan/hoodie so everyone who wheres this is a hooligan pmsl yes very wrong he thretened you indeed but lots of peole wear hoodies and are not hooliganns think you been watching to much telly lol "

oooo not sure about this 1 ...can u remember about a year or so ago on the news ...a politician said every1 should "hug a hoodie" and the very next days news there was a report about a man being attacked 4 doing just that lol

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont care what anyone says hes defo jeffrey archer going undercover in debenhams lol

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