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I thought I was just being a mum

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.

After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.

It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.

Am I over the top??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No just a good mum x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is exactly is "one of your girls?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, they never stop being your baby, does this friend have kids of a similar age?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at your you are her mum and we love our kids so tell that person to get lost in other words x

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

No they,re bloody rude and selfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is exactly is "one of your girls?) "

her daughter??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What is exactly is "one of your girls?) "

My daughter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No, they never stop being your baby, does this friend have kids of a similar age? "

Yes but boys and he's male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not ott, tell them to fuck off, you are what you are and don't change it for anything, I would call it being in the right place if that's how you want to spend your time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No not at your you are her mum and we love our kids so tell that person to get lost in other words x "

I have

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/07/13 18:50:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I don't think you are. I take it she doesn't work till 10 every night? So you will have time to do daughter/mum stuff as well as going out on the nights she doesn't, making it a balance. Our children are not at home forever and quality time gets more difficult when they are older. True friends understand this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No, they never stop being your baby, does this friend have kids of a similar age?

Yes but boys and he's male "

I think he'd understand more if he had girls himself. I think you're right to be annoyed and he's been a bit insensitive x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Typical knee jerk reaction when a bloke doesn't get his own way. Calling us irrational/daft etc.

I think it's a lovely thing to do. I try and see my mum every day as we don't live together but not far away just for a natter. X

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset


"One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.

After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.

It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.

Am I over the top??"

Not OTT. Your choice. Does kinda depend on the age of your daughter and whether she appreciates it or feels you are keeping an eye on her behaviour and checking up she is not out all hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mum is the most important thing in a son or daughters life i found that out the hard way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a good thing to know your children are safe and well, and that they have a loving home to come home to

But, how old is she ? When will she have some independence in her life ? Would it be any better just to phone you when she gets home and says she's all right ?

Please, no criticism intended here, just feel the need to know a few more facts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no makes you a bloody good mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.

After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.

It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.

Am I over the top??"

its sweet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell em to piss off. In today's society,you are doing the right thing.Keep up the good work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dot have kids of my own but I think that falls into the Good mum catagory.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.

My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week.

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By *eizvollWoman
over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

For me it would depend on her age (physically and maturity wise).

It's a personal call and you do what you think is best at the time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.

My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."

My 21 year old daughter moving back in with me ...so understand where you coming from ...she has health issues been medical advised to cut down her hours at work ....no matter how old my children are I'm their mum first and anything else gets put behind them ....So don't feel guilty or pressured for them been your first priority

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.

My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."

So you're just being a loving, caring , Mum

Simples

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By *unglerivermonkeyMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

I am with everybody else on this. Your children remain just that whatever age they are and you are mum and always there for them.

I don't know how your friend has not worked that one out.

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

agree shows your a caring mum im the same even meet mine off a late train to save walking up a dark rd on own no matter how old our childern get we still worry about them after all we were there age once and god knows what we got up too lol

keep up the good work tease xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that's what you want to do then that's cool. For someone to take the piss it's just rude. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my grandad wouldnt sleep til i used to finish work or get in from a night out

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I'm more mumsie since my son left home. I'm here when he gets in from work

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I think you are a fantastic mum!! Keep up the good work

Mine are still quite young but I see them every day even though I don't live with them. Yes it means free time is non existent at the moment but when they are older I will get my life back. If someone doesn't get that then they get left behind on the scrap heap as I move forward with my genuine friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good on you I say. Family comes first always

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Typical knee jerk reaction when a bloke doesn't get his own way. Calling us irrational/daft etc.

I think it's a lovely thing to do. I try and see my mum every day as we don't live together but not far away just for a natter. X"

In general, I think men have a different communication criteria than women. A phone call between mum and daughter can last hours, but one between father and son can be completed within 60 seconds with all necessary information being exchanged. "You alright?", "yeah I'm alright, you alright?", "yeah I'm alright - everyone there alright?", "yeah, we're alright". "Ok, bye then", "yeah bye".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be really upset if someone went for that angle withmy Mum....I would never take advantage, but my Mum is the best thing that happened to me....apart from Dad....so its the same for him

However, even at my age, my old dears would never expect anything less than respect for their family xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.

My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."

if it makes you happy and makes her happy then good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you need to do whats right for you and your family and if thats what you like to do then you do it and sod everyone else

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I had a falling out with a male friend as he said I fretted too much over my daughter (then 20) as I couldn't sleep til she got home.

The irony is he couldn't sleep until his cats got home. When I pointed this out he said his cats could be harmed or killed by foxes: unlike the two legged predators that could attack my child!

Now she drives and has a boyfriend I don't worry, but her dad does. He lives in Peckham and will always phone me to say Pookie has just left get her to phone me when she gets home...we live four miles away: a 10 minute drive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men come and go but family are forever you put her first and I would have too x you're a good mum even if she is not a baby x If he really like you he will understand. x

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

our youngest is 22, and I wont sleep properly if she is out..

wont even have a beer in case she needs picking up..

when she was at Uni you don't know when they're out late..

when home you think differently..

OP, that your 'friend' cant see that says a lot about them..

not you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he was probably just annoyed because you couldnt see him and didnt understand the circumstances and your relationship with your daughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No way at all your just a good mom tell them to piss off if thay don't like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would think this man would think what a lovely caring lady you are to think of others before yourself. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a bit clingy to me.

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