FabSwingers.com forum: letting them get on with it

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've always been one to let my son just get on with things along with mumsie advice, he's had all different girlfriends, different race, ones with babies and ive never thought twice about it. Now he's been seeing a 20 year old from work and now he's told me he's also seeing someone else from work and she's 40. I guess he's not cheating on either as they are both casual and yes sensible uses precautions and yes to the clinic. Now I'm pretty much open minded but my eyebrows did raise when he said one was 40. Plus they both work on the same unit. Guess I'm just finding it difficult understanding what a 40 year old would be attracted to. Maybe its cause I find it hard to think of him as a man. Oh and I know what the men's reactions are going to be

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

That is the mother in you and out comes the protective side...you don't want him being taken advantage of I suppose.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

What about the women on here that only meet younger men?

Or the fact that the difference in age is similar to yours to Jay?

I think I would feel the same about one of my own but I'd have to remember that he's an adult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How old is he? .. There is not a lot you can do really ... But its great he is so open with you

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"What about the women on here that only meet younger men?

Or the fact that the difference in age is similar to yours to Jay?

I think I would feel the same about one of my own but I'd have to remember that he's an adult."
yex , think thats the hardest to get my head round that the fact that I shouldnt be bothered because of mine and jays relationship. I haven't said anything to callum as I'm sure it will fizzle out. Thinking is the mumsie in me finding it difficult that a 40 year old would be sexually attracted to my little boy loo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its something in his genes/jeans?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My brother at 18 started seeing a 33 year old and we were all a little worried,as she had 2 young children and he was very young.....met her and loved her instantly 14 years on they are still very happy and the closest couple ive ever known.

It will either work or it wont but if he is happy for now i wouldnt worry

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"My brother at 18 started seeing a 33 year old and we were all a little worried,as she had 2 young children and he was very young.....met her and loved her instantly 14 years on they are still very happy and the closest couple ive ever known.

It will either work or it wont but if he is happy for now i wouldnt worry "
I don't think it would get serious and if it did I would welcome her. Think its just the fact that mature women are attracted to my little boy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I'd feel the same. You're concerned about happiness, you're a natural parent and want to protect and not see him used.

You can only guide not direct....that's hard, when you have benefit of wisdom.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" Think its just the fact that mature women are attracted to my little boy lol"

But he is not your little boy to them

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

" Think its just the fact that mature women are attracted to my little boy lol

But he is not your little boy to them

"
I know lol, he must be some kind of stud lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

How old is he ?

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"How old is he ?"
22

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I'd be frantic if it was the other way around ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with Ms Hx on this one....the fact that your son is so open and willing to talk to you about it is fantastic and it says a lot about you too

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I'm with Ms Hx on this one....the fact that your son is so open and willing to talk to you about it is fantastic and it says a lot about you too

"
but thats why I just give him advice, all I've said is, keep going to the clinic periodically, protection, be respectful to them even if they are only fwb. I wouldn't want him to stop being so open with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it was my son it wouldnt bother me, only if he got serious with an older woman who had kids, he told me about an older woman who was after him when he left home but as soon as he found out she had kids he wouldnt have anything to do with her.

i would just be glad he was happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet guys that are younger than me, but then my dad was 14 years older than my mom and that worked for many many years...

It's not an age issue, it's just that he's your son, your baby still. If he is mature enough to handle a grown up relationship then there should be no issues.

People always think the older person has alterior motives, when it's simply just mutual attraction that brought them together in the first place..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the biggest concern should be what happens when one finds out about the other. If they all work together that could be quite uncomfortable. Don't let him jeopardise his job. I know a lot of bosses wouldn't be very happy with that going on in the workplace. Unless he is the boss lol then carry on!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

My 19 year old daughter is living with a 30 year old man. When I expressed a small concern she said he acts like he's 21 and, seeing as she is grown up for her age, they get on fine. Perhaps the 40 year old has a young persons mind set. Or perhaps he enjoys the more mature woman, like so many of the young men on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet men that are younger than me but I don't have children to compare the ages. I do have a cut off point but I'm on a Swinging site and not 'seeing them' as such.

Your son sounds very sensible and I agree with what others have posted in that you're concern is because he's your son, which is completely understandable! I'd probably be the same.

Sometimes though, older women just prefer the company of a younger man, nothing more, nothing less. I know I do

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've just been on the phone to view and his reply is, well done callum keep shagging

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I wouldn't be happy with my 21 year old daughter and a 40 year old man. I do not comment on my childrens relationships, not even their exes as I don't want them to wonder if I'm honest in my dealings with them, but a middle aged man and my baby?!! Don't think I'd be able to contain myself!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've just been on the phone to view and his reply is, well done callum keep shagging

Has View's views given you what you needed?

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I've just been on the phone to view and his reply is, well done callum keep shagging

Has View's views given you what you needed?"
think its just finding it strange as as a mother you still think of them as your baby

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've just been on the phone to view and his reply is, well done callum keep shagging

Has View's views given you what you needed?think its just finding it strange as as a mother you still think of them as your baby"

I'm sure the feeling would be mutual if he knew all that you had gotten up to in your life. That's why open doesn't mean giving everything away.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I've just been on the phone to view and his reply is, well done callum keep shagging

Has View's views given you what you needed?think its just finding it strange as as a mother you still think of them as your baby

I'm sure the feeling would be mutual if he knew all that you had gotten up to in your life. That's why open doesn't mean giving everything away."
I'm sure your right, there's lots he doesn't k ow or need to know I wouldn't want to upset him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At 22 I am sure he is not looking to settle down. Most of my male friends and I at this age looked to older women for training, a notch on the belt, or so dumb we never new we were being seduced lol

He is also sleeping with a 20 year old so must have his head in the right place. I have to go with your man response (get on son have some fun)sorry

sure it will be fine. I no people it has worked for, if they choose to do so it might be right for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do 'mother' my sons and I do advise on what they are doing. My youngest son has a gf and her family have a different view on morals and values than we do so there has been some discussion at times between me and her mother. Whilst I mind my own business to a degree, I won't allow my son to be taken advantage of and so i did address the fact that her family

better not 'borrow' money off him again as I will personally ensure I retrieve it back off them. Her mother doesn't like me, the feeling of course is mutual, but I have to try and keep it myself until a line has been crossed and then I deal with it.

I would absolutely hate either of my sons bringing home a woman the same age as me or getting involved with

women with children. I don't suppose I could stop it but I would say something.

Yes I can be judgemental but like most

mothers I want the best for my sons but ultimately it's their life to lead. I'd always support and be there for them. At least they are both still at home, I'd have really hated it if they had wanted to move out at 16 and I certainly would have kicked up a fuss about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I adore young lads and am ever so careful with them ( as to their confidence, sexual health and stuff like that ) I find young lads ever so attractive - just do and find them very open minded and cool xx

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