FabSwingers.com forum: You're worth a shag but I wouldn't touch you with a dating barge pole ?

By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

A female friend of mine is both on a dating website and on here.

Three different blokes who had ignored a message from her initiating conversation on the dating website all messaged her on here desiring carnal mischief within 24 hours of her joining the site.

It's amazing what a few saucy images can do to spark interest in a guy eh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably works the other way too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why didnt they message her first, i wonder.

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

And this is News to you??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And this is News to you??

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You see a person can be shaggable but not dateable...you can have a physical spark but not that spark that you think I can date that person...takes a lot for me to get that spark its almost like I have become cautious....

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"And this is News to you??

Well you can only go by your own behaviour.

I'd be attracted to her face,tastes and interests and figure to some degree which would shine through on either site presuming the lady had facial pics on fabs and a body pic on the dating site

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"You see a person can be shaggable but not dateable...you can have a physical spark but not that spark that you think I can date that person...takes a lot for me to get that spark its almost like I have become cautious...."

I hear what you're saying and I guess it's different for each and every person.

I'd only meet a lady on fabs that I felt I'd want to meet were it a date and that takes into account a lady from a couple in an instance where that could never happen.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I have no idea what attributes listed on a profile would make me want to date someone.

I'd also hate to date someone then find out down the line that they are crap in bed and as vanilla as a vanilla pod.

This must be why I've never really dated...

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I hear what you're saying and I guess it's different for each and every person.

I'd only meet a lady on fabs that I felt I'd want to meet were it a date and that takes into account a lady from a couple in an instance where that could never happen."
lol don't listen to me....lol. I have been a bit meh about dating recently lol

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Guys will use a dating site even if they really just want sex tho and perhaps her dating profile dint say 'will get laid' on it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this happen. Messages guy on dating site no reply. I then message him on here and got reply compliments a plenty actually met went well. Can see point on dating site it's clear girls after a relationship where as fab is more fun. But ye it's horrible being told I'm fuckable but not datable

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"Guys will use a dating site even if they really just want sex tho and perhaps her dating profile dint say 'will get laid' on it lol"

That's true and it didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most (not all) guys will f*ck anything with a pulse.. So whether here or dating site, if sex is all they want, then that's all they'll seek, and will say just about anything to get it too!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Fab life is my fantasy life and I only want to meet men that are younger than me so I wouldn't think of them as possible dates. Having said that I do like meets where we can go out for a drink and a chat and a laugh, just 'like' a date but with the added extra at the end of the evening

Now that made sense to me when I thought it out in Welsh lol but might not make sense to anyone reading it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something I don't fortunately have an issue with not being on a dating site but more importantly I feel for women who experience this as it is something I have never encountered and wouldn't wish to.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I don't fortunately have an issue with not being on a dating site but more importantly I feel for women who experience this as it is something I have never encountered and wouldn't wish to."

Men can experience this too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol "

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men can experience this too. "

Either way it is degrading imo.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Priorities on a site like this differ from those you'd see on a dating site (mostly). This goes for both men and women.

I've known women that were physically stunning and that i'd happily have sex with, but would never dream of dating. Not because i wouldn't want to be seen out with them, but rather they weren't they type of people i'd want to date.

It happens vice versa too, some men even use it to their advantage, knowing they aren't dating material for some women, but they'd happily be ridden to orgasm.

As with all things, as long as people are honest with themselves (most of all) and with the people they are contacting, then i don't see the issue.

And the above isn't anything to do with standards per say, but rather the seperation of the physical aspect of sex, and the emotional aspect of dating.

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By *nix2003Man
over a year ago

houghton le spring

no i agree the physical attraction may be there but not the mental connection isnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men can experience this too.

Either way it is degrading imo."

Yes, it is. I postulated a while back that there is a certain amount of 'sexual objectification' which can occur in swinging, which I don't think is necessarily compatible with the ideals of dating and relationships.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

It's promise the world syndrome you get sucked in then they get what they want and fuck you off...

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"Priorities on a site like this differ from those you'd see on a dating site (mostly). This goes for both men and women.

It happens vice versa too, some men even use it to their advantage, knowing they aren't dating material for some women, but they'd happily be ridden to orgasm.

As with all things, as long as people are honest with themselves (most of all) and with the people they are contacting, then i don't see the issue.

And the above isn't anything to do with standards per say, but rather the seperation of the physical aspect of sex, and the emotional aspect of dating."

That's a well scribed piece.

I guess I need the emotions present with the physical otherwise it's a trifle empty as an experience for myself.

I know that with swinging this may be a minority view but we're all different regarding what we desire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/07/13 22:57:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrong thread lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men can experience this too.

Either way it is degrading imo.

From an outsider looking in I can only view it as sexual gratification where the meaning of such is not understood by both parties coherently.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"Priorities on a site like this differ from those you'd see on a dating site (mostly). This goes for both men and women.

It happens vice versa too, some men even use it to their advantage, knowing they aren't dating material for some women, but they'd happily be ridden to orgasm.

As with all things, as long as people are honest with themselves (most of all) and with the people they are contacting, then i don't see the issue.

And the above isn't anything to do with standards per say, but rather the seperation of the physical aspect of sex, and the emotional aspect of dating.

That's a well scribed piece.

I guess I need the emotions present with the physical otherwise it's a trifle empty as an experience for myself.

I know that with swinging this may be a minority view but we're all different regarding what we desire.

I hear ya, and totally understand. Thankfully, most people on sites like this do a great job of explaining that physical to emotional balance that they crave when it comes to sex and their desires.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

ive never shagged a guy first that i wanted to date. if i wanted to date them i wouldnt be shagging them straigh away. if someone is going to give them what they want who can blame them

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

The two aren't mutually exclusive are they?

I have shagged guys I wouldn't wish to date in a million years, but I have been lucky to find a guy I love dating and shagging!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe they just dont want to date?

we dont know what this woman has said on her dating page

we dont know what shes said on her fab page

perhaps on one, she's said she wants to find a nice man that doesnt mess around with others, then on another...she wants her fanny fucked by as many cocks possible in one nite

so, come to a sexually based site and dont get that 'exclusivity' normally reserved for dating(with a view to a relationship), and complain a guy didnt want to have anything more than sexual fun(maybe even with some social aspects)

I tend to avoid profiles that have 'date me' written all over it, I can have a sexy nite with people with other engaging aspects other than sex...but the next day i could be going to a gangbang- why?, because I like sex and new people.I have met some people(single women of course), that Ive thought there could be more from, but until i wouldnt promise anything relationshipperly until I wanted to.Quite alot on fab seem incapable, all groups, even the cpls ffs

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

It's promise the world syndrome you get sucked in then they get what they want and fuck you off..."

I am not sure what to say in response and have been pondering because it just isn't something I can understand.

So for once I am lost for words!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

I have encountered this a few times and not being single it certainly has not worked as I think people forget that if you want a long term relationship go out or yes on dating sites where people are looking for a soul mate but imo it rarely works on here.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

Maybe. But i also imagine most won't look for "the one" on here. At least, not with a view to a long term relationship. It can (and has happened) for some, but those tend to be exceptions to the rule, rather than the norm.

The moment emotions enter the equation, it can and usually gets messy.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

It's promise the world syndrome you get sucked in then they get what they want and fuck you off...

I am not sure what to say in response and have been pondering because it just isn't something I can understand.

So for once I am lost for words!

Lol been here a few times....now I ain't so bloody stupid

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

The moment emotions enter the equation, it can and usually gets messy."

I agree that fabs isn't the most prudent source of seeking for " the one " and imagine many single folk use fabs as a sexual stop gap until their desired partner emerges in other circumstance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

It's promise the world syndrome you get sucked in then they get what they want and fuck you off...

I am not sure what to say in response and have been pondering because it just isn't something I can understand.

So for once I am lost for words!

Lol been here a few times....now I ain't so bloody stupid

Have a hug then just for the sake of it

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"It is shit being told yeah great shag but I would not date you...lol

Again without sounding bloody awful I really don't understand why some women do! As in entertain the idiots that treat them like that and get away with it

It's promise the world syndrome you get sucked in then they get what they want and fuck you off...

I am not sure what to say in response and have been pondering because it just isn't something I can understand.

So for once I am lost for words!

Lol been here a few times....now I ain't so bloody stupid

Have a hug then just for the sake of it

Lol cheers me Julie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

The moment emotions enter the equation, it can and usually gets messy.

I agree that fabs isn't the most prudent source of seeking for " the one " and imagine many single folk use fabs as a sexual stop gap until their desired partner emerges in other circumstance

Well I will say that Im not using this site to find 'The One'! In fact I'm not using any site.

Going old-school!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she said

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I had the same when I was on a dating site. The shock wasn't the contact but when questioned the reply was that they would never date any who was on a sex site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive never shagged a guy first that i wanted to date. if i wanted to date them i wouldnt be shagging them straigh away. if someone is going to give them what they want who can blame them"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"The dating/swinging/emotional/physical dynamic has been something which I've given a lot of consideration to - and is the core reason why I'm not meeting.

I know the answer to my predicament - but I also know Id drop this lifestyle choice in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with 'the one'. Hopefully though, she'd want this too

I would imagine that a high percentage of single people on fabs would drop the swinging lifestyle for " the one " I certainly would

I've seen a good few profiles (male and female) either stating that or strongly hinting at it...I'm not on dating websites because I've no desire for any sort of relationship, especially if I felt I had to give up shagging who I like, when I like; I certainly wouldn't give up swinging were I to stumble over "the one" if such a person exists

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I guess she received 3 "wanna fuck?" messages instead of 3 "wanna date?" messages then

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"The two aren't mutually exclusive are they?

I have shagged guys I wouldn't wish to date in a million years, but I have been lucky to find a guy I love dating and shagging!

me too - aint life grand

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"ive never shagged a guy first that i wanted to date. if i wanted to date them i wouldnt be shagging them straigh away. if someone is going to give them what they want who can blame them"

So what happens if you find you are not sexually compatible?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was looking to date i would still go about it like i would here....i only meet people i get along with and have spoke to for a while.

I dont think its the right place to be looking for love as most here are looking for lust...if it happens then ot happens id drop the swinging but in my mind it wont for me...im honest about what i want and a relationship isnt it.

But ive never had anyone say they would have sex with me but wouldn't date me just never brought it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same thing has happened to me a few times as I am also on a couple of dating sites.

Sadly I have met a few guys on here that have used the line "you're lovely but you aren't girlfriend material" and also a few that have openly admitted they would never want to seen out "with someone like me" it's not great for the ego when it happens, but you get over it. You develop a very thick skin and level of emotional compartmentleising if you are going to use this site sucessfully.

This is part of the reason I don't use my real name on here and I have a different FAB personas, that way I protect myself and its very easy to get hurt and upset by things said in here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive never shagged a guy first that i wanted to date. if i wanted to date them i wouldnt be shagging them straigh away. if someone is going to give them what they want who can blame them

So what happens if you find you are not sexually compatible?"

Then I assume you'd go and date someone else!

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

God yes. .. I am a realist and my experience with this is all too real... 44 years old and over weight I get zero interest on the dating site but my inbox is full here. Only conclusion to be made is they don't want to date me they just want to shag me.... if you cant beat em join em they say...

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

This is a fantastic thread, some great points which we can both understand and relate to

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