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Does arousal mean desire?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

On R4 now. Debate on how animalistic women are on sex and how culture gets in the way of expressing our desires. Plus the issue of monogamy not being a natural state.

Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

Can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On R4 now. Debate on how animalistic women are on sex and how culture gets in the way of expressing our desires. Plus the issue of monogamy not being a natural state.

Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

Can"

I can be aroused for an activity but have no desire for that person.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

I can be aroused for an activity but have no desire for that person."

And it can still be enjoyable - or is that just me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

I can be aroused for an activity but have no desire for that person.

And it can still be enjoyable - or is that just me?"

Yes it can be enjoyable, but it is the desire for said activity that makes it enjoyable imo

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"On R4 now. Debate on how animalistic women are on sex and how culture gets in the way of expressing our desires. Plus the issue of monogamy not being a natural state.

Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

Can"

Monogamy is an interesting one, we as a species are probably only 'meant to be' with one partner etc due to the constraints of society and maybe religious influences..

not many of us are naturally monogamous I would suspect..

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"On R4 now. Debate on how animalistic women are on sex and how culture gets in the way of expressing our desires. Plus the issue of monogamy not being a natural state.

Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

Can

Monogamy is an interesting one, we as a species are probably only 'meant to be' with one partner etc due to the constraints of society and maybe religious influences..

not many of us are naturally monogamous I would suspect..

"

Some people are better are being serially monogamous.

I do wonder if the loss of libido in long term relationships is often just boredom and the couple need to learn to be new to each other again.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"On R4 now. Debate on how animalistic women are on sex and how culture gets in the way of expressing our desires. Plus the issue of monogamy not being a natural state.

Even as swingers are women more constrained than men in expressing their desire?

Can you be aroused but have no desire for that person/activity?

Can

Monogamy is an interesting one, we as a species are probably only 'meant to be' with one partner etc due to the constraints of society and maybe religious influences..

not many of us are naturally monogamous I would suspect..

Some people are better are being serially monogamous.

I do wonder if the loss of libido in long term relationships is often just boredom and the couple need to learn to be new to each other again."

Very deep for a Tuesday.

To me there is a massive difference between the two. I desire a person but to be a aroused is a state of mind usually before body.

To be tied to one person is unnatural to me, the animal part of me likes to spread the seed as it were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes people are like animals

We want to satisfy our inner demons

Just a fact of life and we always want more

We have a choice

We either satisfy them or stay humble to what we have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I haven't eaten for most of the day then I'm hungry and desire food, this is before I've seen food that day. When I actually see the meal I'm about to eat, I've already decided I want it, my hunger has created the desire.

If however I have already eaten and am not thinking about food as there is no immediate desire, and I walk past a cake shop, I can be aroused, and just the sight of cake can create a desire for cake, that said it may not be the cake from that shop, but the arousal may persuade me to visit my favourite cake shop.

I can be aroused by someone and/or their actions but not necessarily desire them. For me this type of arousal often leads to me having desire for someone else.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"If I haven't eaten for most of the day then I'm hungry and desire food, this is before I've seen food that day. When I actually see the meal I'm about to eat, I've already decided I want it, my hunger has created the desire.

If however I have already eaten and am not thinking about food as there is no immediate desire, and I walk past a cake shop, I can be aroused, and just the sight of cake can create a desire for cake, that said it may not be the cake from that shop, but the arousal may persuade me to visit my favourite cake shop.

I can be aroused by someone and/or their actions but not necessarily desire them. For me this type of arousal often leads to me having desire for someone else. "

It's nice to see you on this thread. Thank you for such a comprehensive answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I do wonder if the loss of libido in long term relationships is often just boredom and the couple need to learn to be new to each other again. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't hear it, but I suspect the Radio 4 programme is probably related to Daniel Bergner's new book, What Do Women Want?, in which he suggests that women are a bit more sexual than was previously thought. I guess the difference between arousal and desire is that you can admit to yourself at least what you desire, whereas you can be aroused and deny it to yourself. Arousal and desire can therefore be in conflict sometimes. For example, many men masturbate in the mornings so they don't have to think about sex all day. (I hope you realise, galz, I've just given away one of men's closely guarded secrets...)

According to Bergner's research on the effect of sex films on women, the participants were registering arousal on the boffins' sensors even when the bonobos were at it, but were not admitting to this. (Of course, I'm sure they forgot to test the kind of hot women you get on the Fab site...)

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I didn't hear it, but I suspect the Radio 4 programme is probably related to Daniel Bergner's new book, What Do Women Want?, in which he suggests that women are a bit more sexual than was previously thought. I guess the difference between arousal and desire is that you can admit to yourself at least what you desire, whereas you can be aroused and deny it to yourself. Arousal and desire can therefore be in conflict sometimes. For example, many men masturbate in the mornings so they don't have to think about sex all day. (I hope you realise, galz, I've just given away one of men's closely guarded secrets...)

According to Bergner's research on the effect of sex films on women, the participants were registering arousal on the boffins' sensors even when the bonobos were at it, but were not admitting to this. (Of course, I'm sure they forgot to test the kind of hot women you get on the Fab site...) "

It was an interview with him and someone with a slightly opposing view discussing societal norms.

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