FabSwingers.com forum: Falling poo faux pas!

By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Around 15 years ago I had a new girlfriend and was invited to stay at her parents for the weekend.

They were " well to do " and I was out to make a good impression .

On the Sunday afternoon I went upstairs with a magazine to read whilst doing a poo.

On completion of said poo I got up and somehow a little extra bit dropped out that I hadn't spotted and it landed on one of those white fluffy bathroom mats.

I proceeded to walk it into the mat and panicked when I saw the mat covered ditto the sock on my foot.

I rinsed out my sock in the bath after some scrubbing then put the poo covered mat in the bath and scrubbed away at it with a nail brush.

This was taking ages and my girlfriend came up and knocked on the bathroom door and I said that I had got lost in time reading the magazine and would be down in a minute.

As I scrubbed away the strands from the white mat were becoming loose and falling out.

After a while I had a clean mat with a major bald area on it.

This was commented on the next morning by her mum at breakfast and I said that I'd become unwell and was sick on the mat.

To this day they don't know the truth regarding poogate as this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmsl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At reasons like this that I have a strict only poo in my own toilet rule, which is only relaxed when on holiday, I have been known to drive a 40 mile round trip to get home for a poo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/07/13 05:36:53]

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

That will teach you to wipe your arse before you get up

Either that or you were sitting side saddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has all the potential of Funky's 'Grandmother-in-law anel' thread...!!!!! PMSL!!

ted.

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

Hmmm I see ... so quite messy...!

I guess all in all, you did a reasonable cover up job then!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

Hmmm I see ... so quite messy...!

I guess all in all, you did a reasonable cover up job then!

I guess I did all things considered soxy but what are the chances of that happening first time of residing at a partners parents whilst active in a seemingly harmless functional pursuit ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

Hmmm I see ... so quite messy...!

I guess all in all, you did a reasonable cover up job then!

I guess I did all things considered soxy but what are the chances of that happening first time of residing at a partners parents whilst active in a seemingly harmless functional pursuit ?

Now, a turd of a standard fish finger size sounds too considerable to miss. Clean your botty properly wherever you are - not just at new potential in-laws.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

Hmmm I see ... so quite messy...!

I guess all in all, you did a reasonable cover up job then!

I guess I did all things considered soxy but what are the chances of that happening first time of residing at a partners parents whilst active in a seemingly harmless functional pursuit ?

Yeah,,,, I hear you man,,,

I suppose its just one of life’s imponderables we’ll never fully understand the answer too….

Shit happens,,

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"When you say a” little extra bit dropped out”….!.

How little are we talking about here?

Was it a Chicken nugget size piece of pooh or are you unable to give a more accurate estimate having trod on it before you noticed the unsquished dimensions .?.….

Well it wasn't a large log or I'd have heard it drop.

However it wasn't a tiny piece either judging by the mess it made once trod in the fluffy bathroom mat.

Would say around the size of a third of a standard fish finger approx

Indeed,,,,, that’s still an ample sized portion….!. how would you describe the texture ?

Soft fudge from a summer's day

Hmmm I see ... so quite messy...!

I guess all in all, you did a reasonable cover up job then!

I guess I did all things considered soxy but what are the chances of that happening first time of residing at a partners parents whilst active in a seemingly harmless functional pursuit ?

Now, a turd of a standard fish finger size sounds too considerable to miss. Clean your botty properly wherever you are - not just at new potential in-laws."

It was around a third of the size of a standard fish finger via visual estimate combined with regards to it's collateral damage

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Now, a turd of a standard fish finger size sounds too considerable to miss. Clean your botty properly wherever you are - not just at new potential in-laws.

It was around a third of the size of a standard fish finger via visual estimate combined with regards to it's collateral damage

I meant turd in a jokey way for "third".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Around 15 years ago I had a new girlfriend and was invited to stay at her parents for the weekend.