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"It's pretty much the same...lol hard work "fancy a date...if its a fine wine n dine date thats cool..as long as I lick u under the table for desert 1st try at speeddating | |||
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"I do a lot of kissing, touching, spooning and cuddling on here John!! Not sure why you think you can't! "on the first date! u slut!!!!! | |||
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"I do a lot of kissing, touching, spooning and cuddling on here John!! Not sure why you think you can't!
on the first date! u slut!!!!! "Smutty mouth! I do all that and some f*****g too you know!! | |||
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"I do a lot of kissing, touching, spooning and cuddling on here John!! Not sure why you think you can't!
on the first date! u slut!!!!!
Smutty mouth! I do all that and some f*****g too you know!! "No comment 
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"I do a lot of kissing, touching, spooning and cuddling on here John!! Not sure why you think you can't!
on the first date! u slut!!!!!
Smutty mouth! I do all that and some f*****g too you know!! "I'd bang u against the window of a posh restaurant, tits against the glass as passers by relish the view...altho dunno what the diners will think of my arsepiece while they eat...... | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc??" This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites? 
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
"I'd think being open and honest is the way forward. If you kept it concealed and then ended up in a great relationship, get married etc. Then it would be more difficult to explain later. My guess is you would want to find someone who wants to join you in your 'sharing with others' activities and that would be something you want to establish early on. | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
"I tried that in 2011/beginning of 2012. I mostly found people that were on here. Just as many married men looking for casual sex and when I had done to getting to know you phase with a couple of men I had the conversation about what my lifestyle has been. It did not go well - in any direction. The men I knew to be on here told me they would never consider a relationship with someone who was on Fab. The men who weren't on here told me that I was too experienced for them. Basically the same thing. One said he would be concerned that he couldn't trust me around other men, even though I was clear that I would not see other people for the right person. I don't think I could have a relationship with such a big part of my story remaining a secret - they have a rather nasty habit of coming out at the most inappropriate times. However, as a woman on here, I think the treatment would be very different if I were to start an "I'm looking for a relationship" thread. Men get good luck messages for those and women, I suspect, stop getting any meets. | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
"if found I really liked someone, then I would leave my fablife behind if I was being open and honest I woul eventually tell them I had a colourful sex life then leave it to them to decide *before my swinging times I met a stunning girl, had great sex etc after a few dates...I told her I had played on cam at certain times...she was shocked and basically dumped me(after buying pressies etc for my birthday) great birthday lol...shut ur trap paddy ffs! | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
if found I really liked someone, then I would leave my fablife behind
if I was being open and honest I woul eventually tell them I had a colourful sex life
then leave it to them to decide
*before my swinging times I met a stunning girl, had great sex etc after a few dates...I told her I had played on cam at certain times...she was shocked and basically dumped me(after buying pressies etc for my birthday)
great birthday lol...shut ur trap paddy ffs!"meant to add I have friends on here both male and female..real friends , some for over 10yrs...and not just for sex purposes lol...so at some point itd be best explaining to a future current gf I think...not gonna hide my real friends , regardless how i met them | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
if found I really liked someone, then I would leave my fablife behind
if I was being open and honest I woul eventually tell them I had a colourful sex life
then leave it to them to decide
*before my swinging times I met a stunning girl, had great sex etc after a few dates...I told her I had played on cam at certain times...she was shocked and basically dumped me(after buying pressies etc for my birthday)
great birthday lol...shut ur trap paddy ffs!"Yeah I guess there’s always the risk that our pasts can bite us in arse,,,,  | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
"Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!). And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean! | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!).
And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean!
"I know what you mean and I hope you find it xxx | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!).
And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean!
"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues? | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues? "I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past? I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life? It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else! | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else! "Fair-play to you.... you've answered honsetly... | |||
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"Thing is that I like all those things and get them with my fwb so who needs a dating site "Lucky you! But it's more than just snuggling and kissing that I need sometimes! | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else! "I don't know if you need to bring up all the details of your past but I think you should come clean about your current desires and needs.(Maybe not on the first date etc) If you hold those back you might find a missus who later doesn't want you to be doing those things That would realy piss you off.
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else!
I don't know if you need to bring up all the details of your past but I think you should come clean about your current desires and needs.(Maybe not on the first date etc) If you hold those back you might find a missus who later doesn't want you to be doing those things That would realy piss you off.
"I really don't see why
My desire as a single guy is to experiment, have some fun and enjoy the swinging lifestyle.
When I'm in a relationship, it's not about MY desire, but OUR desires as a couple. If we choose the swinging life, it will be because we BOTH fancy it and not because "I want to do those things": it's not something you can impose to someone, do you see what I mean?
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"If I met a vanilla type person there's no way I'd tell them about my past sex life. I would absolutely lie, big fat huge lies!!! There's no way a vanilla person would understand. " I'd take them to a party or club n pretend its all new to me | |||
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"If I met a vanilla type person there's no way I'd tell them about my past sex life. I would absolutely lie, big fat huge lies!!! There's no way a vanilla person would understand. I'd take them to a party or club n pretend its all new to me" And every single person in the club turns round Cheers-style and goes "Paddy"! | |||
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"If I met a vanilla type person there's no way I'd tell them about my past sex life. I would absolutely lie, big fat huge lies!!! There's no way a vanilla person would understand. I'd take them to a party or club n pretend its all new to me And every single person in the club turns round Cheers-style and goes "Paddy"! "adds canned laughter | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else!
I don't know if you need to bring up all the details of your past but I think you should come clean about your current desires and needs.(Maybe not on the first date etc) If you hold those back you might find a missus who later doesn't want you to be doing those things That would realy piss you off.
I really don't see why
My desire as a single guy is to experiment, have some fun and enjoy the swinging lifestyle.
When I'm in a relationship, it's not about MY desire, but OUR desires as a couple. If we choose the swinging life, it will be because we BOTH fancy it and not because "I want to do those things": it's not something you can impose to someone, do you see what I mean?
"Yes, you can't impose that on someone like you say so you need to find someone who fits in with your lifestyle. If you don't then you will be trapped having to go to the 'Single Males Only' nights at clubs etc if she does not fit in with your needs. I think you need to be honest and state your needs to a possible partner at the start so you will end up happy and not trapped. If that makes sense. | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!).
And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean!
"I understand where you are coming from and from the chats we've had I think you're a really lovely guy and I don't doubt you will meet some nice girl out there somewhere. Good luck cutie! xx | |||
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"Yes, you can't impose that on someone like you say so you need to find someone who fits in with your lifestyle. If you don't then you will be trapped having to go to the 'Single Males Only' nights at clubs etc if she does not fit in with your needs. I think you need to be honest and state your needs to a possible partner at the start so you will end up happy and not trapped. If that makes sense." Well, no offense, but it actually doesn't make sense... The thing is that my lifestyle is not the same when I'm single and when I'm in a relationship. Why would I expect the same from two very different situations??
And, once again, no offence, but going to "single guys nights" when you're in a relationship is not being a swinger, it's being a cheater: something that I've never been, and never will be! | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!).
And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean!
I understand where you are coming from and from the chats we've had I think you're a really lovely guy and I don't doubt you will meet some nice girl out there somewhere. Good luck cutie! xx "annoyed u havent been chatting to me as im seeking love too..also happy to use that as an excuse to shag u and ur big tits | |||
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"Yes, you can't impose that on someone like you say so you need to find someone who fits in with your lifestyle. If you don't then you will be trapped having to go to the 'Single Males Only' nights at clubs etc if she does not fit in with your needs. I think you need to be honest and state your needs to a possible partner at the start so you will end up happy and not trapped. If that makes sense. Well, no offense, but it actually doesn't make sense... The thing is that my lifestyle is not the same when I'm single and when I'm in a relationship. Why would I expect the same from two very different situations??
And, once again, no offence, but going to "single guys nights" when you're in a relationship is not being a swinger, it's being a cheater: something that I've never been, and never will be!"Oooh you are so lovely...if I was single (and 20 years younger) I'd be after you! | |||
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"annoyed u havent been chatting to me as im seeking love too..also happy to use that as an excuse to shag u and ur big tits" if you insist, I'd happily swap!! | |||
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"annoyed u havent been chatting to me as im seeking love too..also happy to use that as an excuse to shag u and ur big tits if you insist, I'd happily swap!! "share the info..whats rosie like?- she up for a spitroast?..lets organize it | |||
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"annoyed u havent been chatting to me as im seeking love too..also happy to use that as an excuse to shag u and ur big tits if you insist, I'd happily swap!! "Your such a lovely guy x hope you find what you are looking for xxx | |||
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"Yes, you can't impose that on someone like you say so you need to find someone who fits in with your lifestyle. If you don't then you will be trapped having to go to the 'Single Males Only' nights at clubs etc if she does not fit in with your needs. I think you need to be honest and state your needs to a possible partner at the start so you will end up happy and not trapped. If that makes sense. Well, no offense, but it actually doesn't make sense... The thing is that my lifestyle is not the same when I'm single and when I'm in a relationship. Why would I expect the same from two very different situations??
And, once again, no offence, but going to "single guys nights" when you're in a relationship is not being a swinger, it's being a cheater: something that I've never been, and never will be!"I am married and have a reluctant wife. I can't go to the couples nights as she will not go with me. I will not go to the single males nights either as that, like you say, is cheating and just wrong. So I can't get what I would realy like to be doing.... It pisses me off sometimes being faithful and also honest with my wife. I wouldn't want you to get stuck in a relationship where you get trapped like that. I think you should state your needs from the start. If she goes 'ewww yuk' then she would hold you back in the future so move on. Does that make more sense? | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? This is not a loaded question btw!…… I am genuinely curious to know whether you're planning to be be open about your swinging lifestyle with any females you successfully engage with on those sites?
Because although I believe being open and honest is the right thing to do...
I would have thought it might severely hinder your chances on site where members are joining with the intention of finding a one on one relationship...
Curious to know what other forumites feel is the best way to deal with that situation too....
Just like I would if I met someone in the real life, if it appears that one of my dates on this other site is becoming a bit serious, I would cancel all my meets on here and leave(just like when I started a relationship a year and a half ago!).
And bambi: there's something missing for me on here. I'm having some great fun, but it's not the same if you see what I mean!
I understand where you are coming from and from the chats we've had I think you're a really lovely guy and I don't doubt you will meet some nice girl out there somewhere. Good luck cutie! xx
annoyed u havent been chatting to me as im seeking love too..also happy to use that as an excuse to shag u and ur big tits"I don't think John has big tits Paddy. | |||
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Sometimes they want what you want, but not 24/7 x | |||
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"I am married and have a reluctant wife. I can't go to the couples nights as she will not go with me. I will not go to the single males nights either as that, like you say, is cheating and just wrong. So I can't get what I would realy like to be doing.... It pisses me off sometimes being faithful and also honest with my wife. I wouldn't want you to get stuck in a relationship where you get trapped like that. I think you should state your needs from the start. If she goes 'ewww yuk' then she would hold you back in the future so move on. Does that make more sense?" Actually yes!
But once again, my expectations and needs are not the same when I'm in relationship as when I'm not! (and I'm not only talking about my sexual life)
And about telling her about my swinging "past" (it will be past at the time): it is just as if you had to tell about all the pot you smoked when you were a teenager just in case you'd want to have a joint at some point in the future... | |||
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"I am married and have a reluctant wife. I can't go to the couples nights as she will not go with me. I will not go to the single males nights either as that, like you say, is cheating and just wrong. So I can't get what I would realy like to be doing.... It pisses me off sometimes being faithful and also honest with my wife. I wouldn't want you to get stuck in a relationship where you get trapped like that. I think you should state your needs from the start. If she goes 'ewww yuk' then she would hold you back in the future so move on. Does that make more sense? Actually yes!
But once again, my expectations and needs are not the same when I'm in relationship as when I'm not! (and I'm not only talking about my sexual life)
And about telling her about my swinging "past" (it will be past at the time): it is just as if you had to tell about all the pot you smoked when you were a teenager just in case you'd want to have a joint at some point in the future... "Again this is genuinely not a loaded question... I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? | |||
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"I am married and have a reluctant wife. I can't go to the couples nights as she will not go with me. I will not go to the single males nights either as that, like you say, is cheating and just wrong. So I can't get what I would realy like to be doing.... It pisses me off sometimes being faithful and also honest with my wife. I wouldn't want you to get stuck in a relationship where you get trapped like that. I think you should state your needs from the start. If she goes 'ewww yuk' then she would hold you back in the future so move on. Does that make more sense? Actually yes!
But once again, my expectations and needs are not the same when I'm in relationship as when I'm not! (and I'm not only talking about my sexual life)
And about telling her about my swinging "past" (it will be past at the time): it is just as if you had to tell about all the pot you smoked when you were a teenager just in case you'd want to have a joint at some point in the future... "If you think you would want to swing in the future you had best tell her near the start. It doesn't matter about telling her much of the past but you need to tell her what you might want to do WITH HER IN AMONGST IT in the future. It is important she gets the idea that she would need to get involved. Once you have shagged each other silly for a year or so then you might find you have the urge to swing again. You would be pretty pissed off if she has no desire to do that and thus stopping you doing it. I don't think you can be one person in one situation and another person in a different situation if you have a partner as you should then become 'one person'. You can't have your way if she doesn't want it your way too. | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else! "I agree. If I was to meet someone from the 'real' world and started dating then why would I have to tell them about my past Swingle life? This is something I do as a single woman and nothing to do with anyone else who I may meet in the future. | |||
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? " I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
And verytrustingwife: you base your opinion on the wrong assertion about me: I am not having a "swinging lifestyle" as such! When I am single, I live on the edge, trying to live my life as if there wasn't a tomorrow: hence why I want to experiment some stuff and why I am here.
When I am in a relationship, I am completely different....
It is the difference between making love and having sex, if you prefer.
Swinging is a fun plus in my life right now, it might be in the future if me and my partner at the time both express the desire of it (I'm not even I will) but it is not what I am living for...
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
And verytrustingwife: you base your opinion on the wrong assertion about me: I am not having a "swinging lifestyle" as such! When I am single, I live on the edge, trying to live my life as if there wasn't a tomorrow: hence why I want to experiment some stuff and why I am here.
When I am in a relationship, I am completely different....
It is the difference between making love and having sex, if you prefer.
Swinging is a fun plus in my life right now, it might be in the future if me and my partner at the time both express the desire of it (I'm not even I will) but it is not what I am living for...
"Ok doke. Just don't close down future opportunities you think you might want to do in the future. The future is a long time to be without the things you want to do.... or that you think you think you could do without. I bet you might want to return to doing the things you do now but then you would have the other half to agree to it. | |||
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"I found many on the dating sites were basically casual sex encounters..rarely use them now anywy and I barely get any interest on them...booo "This. Me and my friend went on one. Msgs were terrible. I wasnt looking for dates obviously cos of marriage but she was. I miss the cuddles etc but I have had that on here as well as the fun. | |||
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
And verytrustingwife: you base your opinion on the wrong assertion about me: I am not having a "swinging lifestyle" as such! When I am single, I live on the edge, trying to live my life as if there wasn't a tomorrow: hence why I want to experiment some stuff and why I am here.
When I am in a relationship, I am completely different....
It is the difference between making love and having sex, if you prefer.
Swinging is a fun plus in my life right now, it might be in the future if me and my partner at the time both express the desire of it (I'm not even I will) but it is not what I am living for...
"I cant cuddle you cos you are too far away and too young even if you were down my way. Similar age to my son, but im sending you a virtual non-sexual cuddle | |||
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
"The fact I don’t agree with not being open and honest from the start, does not mean I’m having a go at you! If you feel you can cope with the situation in a way that won’t cause undue pain of hurt to someone who you’ve established a trusting relationship with, all power to you… For the record I’ve not been in a relationship since I lost my soulmate through illness and yes we confided our entire personal histories to each-other long before we established our relationship … We shared life together and I have no desire to meet anyone to take her place or to even form another relationship for whatever reason at all… …. We were not swingers, Swinging is something I turned to simply to fulfil a physical need knowing that I have no future desire to meet anyone to share myself with on an emotional level again… But I do wish you good luck and I truly hope you find what your heart desires.. | |||
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"I found many on the dating sites were basically casual sex encounters..rarely use them now anywy and I barely get any interest on them...booo This. Me and my friend went on one. Msgs were terrible. I wasnt looking for dates obviously cos of marriage but she was. I miss the cuddles etc but I have had that on here as well as the fun. "is she hot and does she like sucking cock?...geez her number  | |||
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" The fact I don’t agree with not being open and honest from the start, does not mean I’m having a go at you! If you feel you can cope with the situation in a way that won’t cause undue pain of hurt to someone who you’ve established a trusting relationship with, all power to you… For the record I’ve not been in a relationship since I lost my soulmate through illness and yes we confided our entire personal histories to each-other long before we established our relationship … We shared life together and I have no desire to meet anyone to take her place or to even form another relationship for whatever reason at all… …. We were not swingers, Swinging is something I turned to simply to fulfil a physical need knowing that I have no future desire to meet anyone to share myself with on an emotional level again… But I do wish you good luck and I truly hope you find what your heart desires.. "I agree with you Soxy. I know the hurt when I believed I had a mutually shared exchange of secrets from our pasts with a former partner only to discover some time into the relationship his lies of omission. It's not about going into gory details but it is, for me, about being honest about who you were and who you are now in the relationship. Plus, my friends and family know what I do (not who or details of what) so it would mean asking them to keep a secret about me too. I wouldn't want to give up some of the non-sexual friends I have made over the years either. | |||
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
The fact I don’t agree with not being open and honest from the start, does not mean I’m having a go at you!
If you feel you can cope with the situation in a way that won’t cause undue pain of hurt to someone who you’ve established a trusting relationship with, all power to you…
For the record I’ve not been in a relationship since I lost my soulmate through illness and yes we confided our entire personal histories to each-other long before we established our relationship …
We shared life together and I have no desire to meet anyone to take her place or to even form another relationship for whatever reason at all… ….
We were not swingers, Swinging is something I turned to simply to fulfil a physical need knowing that I have no future desire to meet anyone to share myself with on an emotional level again…
But I do wish you good luck and I truly hope you find what your heart desires..
"I didn't think you were having a go at me and I wasn't judging you or anything... And once again, it is not a matter of being honest or not but more a matter of what is worth telling or not. I don't think telling everything about my past sexual life to a partner is a good thing: just my opinion. | |||
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" The fact I don’t agree with not being open and honest from the start, does not mean I’m having a go at you! If you feel you can cope with the situation in a way that won’t cause undue pain of hurt to someone who you’ve established a trusting relationship with, all power to you… For the record I’ve not been in a relationship since I lost my soulmate through illness and yes we confided our entire personal histories to each-other long before we established our relationship … We shared life together and I have no desire to meet anyone to take her place or to even form another relationship for whatever reason at all… …. We were not swingers, Swinging is something I turned to simply to fulfil a physical need knowing that I have no future desire to meet anyone to share myself with on an emotional level again… But I do wish you good luck and I truly hope you find what your heart desires..
I agree with you Soxy.
I know the hurt when I believed I had a mutually shared exchange of secrets from our pasts with a former partner only to discover some time into the relationship his lies of omission.
It's not about going into gory details but it is, for me, about being honest about who you were and who you are now in the relationship. Plus, my friends and family know what I do (not who or details of what) so it would mean asking them to keep a secret about me too. I wouldn't want to give up some of the non-sexual friends I have made over the years either."You see that's the thing: being on a swinging site doesn't make me anything! Swinging is not my life and this site is nothing more than another way to meet like minded people, just like I could do in a bar, a gig or the local library. So, no, as a principle, I don't give a list of all the people I shagged in the past to the girls I date because that's what's disrespectful in my opinion. Then if you consider swinging as the most important thing in your life, fine: you should tell the person you are in a relationship with, but if, just like for me, it is nothing but a bit of fun, there's no need to say anything! | |||
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" You see that's the thing: being on a swinging site doesn't make me anything! Swinging is not my life and this site is nothing more than another way to meet like minded people, just like I could do in a bar, a gig or the local library. So, no, as a principle, I don't give a list of all the people I shagged in the past to the girls I date because that's what's disrespectful in my opinion. Then if you consider swinging as the most important thing in your life, fine: you should tell the person you are in a relationship with, but if, just like for me, it is nothing but a bit of fun, there's no need to say anything! " I'm with you on this one John! I don't see the need to tell any future partners who I've slept with in the past or how I met them. My Swingle life is my business and that's the way I want to keep it. The amount of people I meet is very few and far between anyway so what's the difference in meeting on this site or meeting in a pub on a night out in town? I wish you luck and hope you find what you're looking for x | |||
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" I'm with you on this one John! I don't see the need to tell any future partners who I've slept with in the past or how I met them. My Swingle life is my business and that's the way I want to keep it. The amount of people I meet is very few and far between anyway so what's the difference in meeting on this site or meeting in a pub on a night out in town? I wish you luck and hope you find what you're looking for x"Exactly After all, it doesn't matter who I had sex with or how many men had sex with her at the same time (a bit of humor to calm the things down!) | |||
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" I'm with you on this one John! I don't see the need to tell any future partners who I've slept with in the past or how I met them. My Swingle life is my business and that's the way I want to keep it. The amount of people I meet is very few and far between anyway so what's the difference in meeting on this site or meeting in a pub on a night out in town? I wish you luck and hope you find what you're looking for x
Exactly After all, it doesn't matter who I had sex with or how many men had sex with her at the same time (a bit of humor to calm the things down!)"A bit of humour goes a long way especially on this site lol | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc??" Not sure about about being suspected of being pervs etc but men will still greatly outnumber the women on a dating site. | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? Not sure about about being suspected of being pervs etc but men will still greatly outnumber the women on a dating site. " I thought it was the case... And what about messaging: should it always be the man sending the first message or do women message as well? | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc??" i must admit i miss kisses and cuddles, cuddling up on the sofa under a quilt watching some shit on the telly
not sure i miss it that much id want a relationship again tho just to get it | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? Not sure about about being suspected of being pervs etc but men will still greatly outnumber the women on a dating site. I thought it was the case... And what about messaging: should it always be the man sending the first message or do women message as well?" I've found dating sites fun and have had 3 relationships and many more one off socials from them over the last 18 months or so. I have spoke about my swinging background in each relationship and only got the response that she didn't want to share so I didn't play at those times ... only negative reaction was with one woman when I told her I was bi. Whether those periods of abstinence from the swinging world would have lasted I just don't know ... probably not with those women but maybe so with the Mrs Right | |||
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"Hi guys, Because as good as swinging can be, there will always be a part of me who misses cuddles, kisses and flirting, I decided to give a "regular" dating site a go... For those who have been on there before, should I expect the same sort of things than on here: 1 girl for 100 guys, men suspected of being pervs etc?? Not sure about about being suspected of being pervs etc but men will still greatly outnumber the women on a dating site. I thought it was the case... And what about messaging: should it always be the man sending the first message or do women message as well?" Ive sent a message to a guy first, but did feel really strange doing that. An age thing I think  | |||
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"Thing is that I like all those things and get them with my fwb so who needs a dating site
Lucky you!
But it's more than just snuggling and kissing that I need sometimes! "He and I behave in the same manner that bf/gf do like go on holiday, meet for lunch etc, just without all that lovey dovey stuff, or is that what you are really looking for? | |||
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"maybe youve been a bit hasty in mentioning the swinging in them 3 relationships ? "I don't think that's the case as the swinging issue didn't cause any problems ... in each case I just decided that there was no future in the relationship. It's a question of honesty for me personally and i think that being bi and living the swinging lifestyle are part of the defining features of my overall sexuality and holding back on that disclosure is more likely to come back and bite you than upfront honesty. The woman who reacted badly to the fact I am bi was a very attractive, successful and fun person. She had been making all the right noises about being open minded and we were sat in a bar on canal st when the subject came up and a direct answer was given to a direct question - I think that was preferable to the subject coming up in the future as we sit at the in laws, book the wedding or any other such time - I know a lot of people live the lie but that's not for me. It's served me well with my 3 and 15 year relationships so I'm sticking to it | |||
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"I don't think you need to tell anyone you've been using a swinging site. Because I don't think, and correct me if I'm wrong ... you're not here to swing are you? You're a single male looking for sex with friendship along the way. Have you ever had the desire to swing whilst part of a couple, whether that be full swap soft swap same room different room? So I don't think that if you were in a vanilla relationship that gave you what you want and need, you would feel trapped by not being part of the swinging lifestyle anymore. Tell me if I've got that totally wrong! " Totally wrong ... I've had couples profiles on here with the two previous long term relationships - been swinging since the days when Loot classifieds pages were the way to meet ... first couples meet off there was with a fat trucker and his mrs who turned up to the pub in a rubber dress but that's another story | |||
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"Sorry I should have said who I was responding to. " Ooops ... see I even open up to people who ain't listening | |||
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"Btw remember that many people are wise to tineye and Google reverse image search - if you don't want awkward questions about swinging use pics you've never used on here..." Really? I thought there was an option on fab to avoid being listed on search engines... How do you do this google picture thing: I'd like to check!
And Popping candy, you are absolutely right! That's exactly the reason why I'm on this site. | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else! "I'm with you, I don't understand why people feel the need to bare their souls and share the minutiae of their lives! We meet people and know they've had a sexual history: do you need to divulge every "deviant" act you enjoyed? I don't think so. | |||
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"When would you tell that person about your swinging past?, or do you feel it's something you'd prefer keeping to yourself through concerns it might cause issues?
I don't understand why I would have to tell about my swinging past?
I mean, are you telling to your partners all about your past sexual life?
It is not even about the issues it could create but more about the fact that I have a secret garden that belongs to me and no one else!
I don't know if you need to bring up all the details of your past but I think you should come clean about your current desires and needs.(Maybe not on the first date etc) If you hold those back you might find a missus who later doesn't want you to be doing those things That would realy piss you off.
I really don't see why
My desire as a single guy is to experiment, have some fun and enjoy the swinging lifestyle.
When I'm in a relationship, it's not about MY desire, but OUR desires as a couple. If we choose the swinging life, it will be because we BOTH fancy it and not because "I want to do those things": it's not something you can impose to someone, do you see what I mean?
Yes, you can't impose that on someone like you say so you need to find someone who fits in with your lifestyle. If you don't then you will be trapped having to go to the 'Single Males Only' nights at clubs etc if she does not fit in with your needs.
I think you need to be honest and state your needs to a possible partner at the start so you will end up happy and not trapped.
If that makes sense."That makes perfect sense if you know you want to continue going to clubs and crave the thrill of sex with others: we are not all like that. For me who came into this very late, I see it as "sowing my oats". I will tire of this eventually as I do with all hobbies I've tried. I know a "vanilla" relationship won't suit me, but a relationship with someone prepared to push sexual boundaries within a relationship would work for me. | |||
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"I really do admire your candour in answering the questions you've been asked! So are you OK harbouring a secret past until you feel it’s the right time to divulge it with all the potential emotional risks and implications that could spell for the person you’ve allowed to become emotionally involved with you…? Do you see the potential for hurting someone by deciding to be in sole charge of that decision? I see the potential in hurting the partner but once again (I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot ) I dont see why I should ever tell her!!
The last time you've been in a relationship, have you told everything about you, your past, who you had sex with, the nights out you had, the drugs you've taken, the times you made a fool of yourself, and some more intimate things? Some of this is part of my secret garden and I will reveal it if I want to...
And verytrustingwife: you base your opinion on the wrong assertion about me: I am not having a "swinging lifestyle" as such! When I am single, I live on the edge, trying to live my life as if there wasn't a tomorrow: hence why I want to experiment some stuff and why I am here.
When I am in a relationship, I am completely different....
It is the difference between making love and having sex, if you prefer.
Swinging is a fun plus in my life right now, it might be in the future if me and my partner at the time both express the desire of it (I'm not even I will) but it is not what I am living for...
"Couldn't have put it better myself, in fact I applaud everything you've written on this thread! | |||
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John you're a lovely, sexy bloke and I hope you find what you're looking for xxx | |||
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" The fact I don’t agree with not being open and honest from the start, does not mean I’m having a go at you! If you feel you can cope with the situation in a way that won’t cause undue pain of hurt to someone who you’ve established a trusting relationship with, all power to you… For the record I’ve not been in a relationship since I lost my soulmate through illness and yes we confided our entire personal histories to each-other long before we established our relationship … We shared life together and I have no desire to meet anyone to take her place or to even form another relationship for whatever reason at all… …. We were not swingers, Swinging is something I turned to simply to fulfil a physical need knowing that I have no future desire to meet anyone to share myself with on an emotional level again… But I do wish you good luck and I truly hope you find what your heart desires..
I agree with you Soxy.
I know the hurt when I believed I had a mutually shared exchange of secrets from our pasts with a former partner only to discover some time into the relationship his lies of omission.
It's not about going into gory details but it is, for me, about being honest about who you were and who you are now in the relationship. Plus, my friends and family know what I do (not who or details of what) so it would mean asking them to keep a secret about me too. I wouldn't want to give up some of the non-sexual friends I have made over the years either.
You see that's the thing: being on a swinging site doesn't make me anything!
Swinging is not my life and this site is nothing more than another way to meet like minded people, just like I could do in a bar, a gig or the local library.
So, no, as a principle, I don't give a list of all the people I shagged in the past to the girls I date because that's what's disrespectful in my opinion.
Then if you consider swinging as the most important thing in your life, fine: you should tell the person you are in a relationship with, but if, just like for me, it is nothing but a bit of fun, there's no need to say anything! "Again I applaud you.
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"Go me, I knew I was right John you're a lovely, sexy bloke and I hope you find what you're looking for xxx"Go you indeed!! Thanks for the compliments! (*blushing*)
And Miss tress: thank you for understanding my point of view! | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x" Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!! | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!! "How's it going? Any bites of the cherry yet? | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!!
How's it going? Any bites of the cherry yet?"Me? | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!!
How's it going? Any bites of the cherry yet?
Me?"Yeah sorry John, just wondered how you were getting on | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!!
How's it going? Any bites of the cherry yet?
Me?
Yeah sorry John, just wondered how you were getting on "Well, not so good to be honest...
I guess I lose a lot of my sex appeal if there isn't someone saying how good I am in a bedroom on my profile | |||
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I know what you.mean about something missing... | |||
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" Id try out in real world and away from net.... Proper dating.
I know what you.mean about something missing... "I'm lacking a bit of occasions to go out in the real world so internet dating sounded like a good idea... Also, it's probably the only way I'll be able to find my particular type of girl | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!! "Just mean that not all guys would be into same as me and bit difficult convo to have and explain my past experience n number guys been with xx | |||
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"Aren,t you getting that from your FB ?" Who u meanin? If to me no I don't have a fb at min | |||
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"Aren,t you getting that from your FB ? Who u meanin? If to me no I don't have a fb at min " u can fb me..oops..I meant facebook  | |||
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"maybe youve been a bit hasty in mentioning the swinging in them 3 relationships ? "just wanted to add to that by saying its 3 more than ive had since my divorce so you must be doing something right | |||
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"I'm in similar mind as u. I never know of should be honest even selective about detail but admit had 3sums that kinda honest. At same time as wanting relationship I wouldn't want to lose good sex life x Why would you lose some good sex? I mean, especially if you're with someone like minded and someone you love, it can only be great!!
Just mean that not all guys would be into same as me and bit difficult convo to have and explain my past experience n number guys been with xx"Oh well, it depends what kind of turn you want to give to your sex life once you're in a relationship. I mean, personally, I wouldn't necessarily go into swinging if I was with someone so I don't feel the need to explain my past.... And it really depends of the person: someone open minded can understand! xx | |||
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