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self awareness...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

On a day when the news has been dominated by the horrible reality of how dreadful home environments can affect a childs behaviour its making me so sad that my neighbour is still screaming at her partner and their kids, I don't think there is violence involved but I would hate to be growing up in that house

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By *raceypCouple
over a year ago

south of sunderland

to right hun its the kids you feel for no need for that shit xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a minefield bein a parent i hope im doin the best job that i can but know how the stress can build up to the point you lose it and shout!

see if you really concerned and i dont mean this in a bad way a wee call to social services might just help no one needs to know its u that done it and sometimes it may be a blessing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rats breed rats,its as simple as that!

XXXX

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

thing is

is living in care any better if the kids aint beat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To be honest I have been considering a phone call to social services, I do appreciate everyone loses their rag from time to and kids can push you over the edge but her tantrums seem to occur on a daily basis from what I hear its all screaming and slamming doors but the kids are in the room and crying lot of the time, its just horrible

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5


"To be honest I have been considering a phone call to social services, I do appreciate everyone loses their rag from time to and kids can push you over the edge but her tantrums seem to occur on a daily basis from what I hear its all screaming and slamming doors but the kids are in the room and crying lot of the time, its just horrible"

dont feel guilty if you feel a fone call is essential.

It could be the wake up call they need

Plus it might bring them the help they need

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"To be honest I have been considering a phone call to social services, I do appreciate everyone loses their rag from time to and kids can push you over the edge but her tantrums seem to occur on a daily basis from what I hear its all screaming and slamming doors but the kids are in the room and crying lot of the time, its just horrible"

I think if your concerned then make that call. Think of how those children are feeling, they deserve to be not frightened and hurt wether emotional or pysical or other kinds. Are they neglected, do you know if they are? Regardless, if you have a concern better to make that phonecall and say I dont know if there is a problem but you are worried. Social services can often work with the family if they want the help and support workers come in and listen. I know as I do this. I see the difference it makes. I see a difference it can make. Much better to call for help than to regret it when you hear an ambulance at the house next door if it goes too far.

Do what you feel is right and then rest with your decision x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I truly think its not a case of physical cruelty or I would have done something sooner I think she is just a person who shouts and screams a lot and doesn't realise how horrible it is. The kids are well fed, clean clothes and she looks after the house. I just think that if I were her seeing stories in the news like today I might stop and think about my actions. Oh well best raid the christmas goodies and cheer myself up, although I may go and be nice to my parents tomorrow...

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"I truly think its not a case of physical cruelty or I would have done something sooner I think she is just a person who shouts and screams a lot and doesn't realise how horrible it is. The kids are well fed, clean clothes and she looks after the house. I just think that if I were her seeing stories in the news like today I might stop and think about my actions. Oh well best raid the christmas goodies and cheer myself up, although I may go and be nice to my parents tomorrow..."

physical cruelty is not the sorse it can be remember. But hear what your saying. If the children are young and you dont think it is is any more than a shouting mum then why not go to your local health visitor and just say your concerned for the regularly crying children.

But yes be nice to your parents x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be very wary of involving yourself in other people's problems. As you say, the kids look well fed and clean so you have to read between the lines here. My immediate thought is: "Where's the father in all of this?" as no mention of him has been made. If he's fucked off then it could well be that she's mightily pissed off at the whole situation but still loves her kids and knows she has to look after them - it won't stop her ranting though and we all rant at those closest to us.

All that is supposition though as we're not in possession of the facts here. So, like I said, be very careful when you see a smoking gun and automatically suspect someone's been shot. Once Social Fuckups get someone on their radar they never let them go - even if they do sod all to help anyone anyway.

Plus, if it ever gets out that you shopped her, your name will be mud in your community. I've seen it before.

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

Not an easy call to make but think it's what you need to do for your own sanity and peace of mind. Early intervention can make such a difference in a child's formative years and Social Services have hopefully the expertise to deal with the issues and more importantly act on your concerns.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Rats breed rats,its as simple as that!

XXXX"

Sad... but generally very true.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"I'd be very wary of involving yourself in other people's problems. As you say, the kids look well fed and clean so you have to read between the lines here. My immediate thought is: "Where's the father in all of this?" as no mention of him has been made. If he's fucked off then it could well be that she's mightily pissed off at the whole situation but still loves her kids and knows she has to look after them - it won't stop her ranting though and we all rant at those closest to us.

All that is supposition though as we're not in possession of the facts here. So, like I said, be very careful when you see a smoking gun and automatically suspect someone's been shot. Once Social Fuckups get someone on their radar they never let them go - even if they do sod all to help anyone anyway.

Plus, if it ever gets out that you shopped her, your name will be mud in your community. I've seen it before."

Social services are never in the press for the very good work they do only the times when they get it wrong so I do feel you are tarring them all with a certain bad brush. I see the good work they do on a weekly basis but maybe you have only seen or experienced the bad. There are good support networks who arent "fuckers" who do alot if good. Please dont tarr us all!

If she needs help then good if she doesnt and can show that she doesnt it goes no further.

Maybe the lady just needs a friend to chat to. With a call to the right people she could have that in place soon.

Not trying to be rude but I work hard with families and see improvement in small steps. I am no fucker x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not invite her round for a quick chin wag ..... share a joke ....give her a break ? Mind the kids for an hour?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest I have been considering a phone call to social services, I do appreciate everyone loses their rag from time to and kids can push you over the edge but her tantrums seem to occur on a daily basis from what I hear its all screaming and slamming doors but the kids are in the room and crying lot of the time, its just horrible"

Dont hesitate just call em hun PLEASE xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

God I'm making myself look like a right nosey old curtain twitcher but thank you all for some very inciteful comments.

The father is there and like her is polite enough in passing and in fairness to him I've never heard him shout back I don't think she realises how far her tantrums carry think this is just the way she behaves and a nice old matronly aunt or granny calming her down and showing a different way of making her point would work wonders and no I'm not old enough or brave enough!

Many kids out there have it much worse I'm sure, and calling social services is a big thing to do to someone when you don't know the full story I think my tactic might be to have a word with an old friend who works in those circles and just say if this family are a concern and on the radar maybe someone should take another look.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Miss bored not at all, your being a caring neighbour. It is thoughtful that you care enough to ask the question. I wonder if you know him enough to ask if his wife is okay as you sometimes hear her crying or shouting(omit which one isnt correct).It could be that if he is aware that his wife is making enough noise for the neighbours to hear then he may have a word with his wirfe. All of it could possibly work depending on the people. Otherwise he may tell you to fook off. Do whatever you feel as you know them we dont, but seeking advice from a friend who may know if there is a problem with the family is a great idea. I am sure if the kids are young any health visitor would listen to your concern too.

Good luck xx and thanks for caring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the scars from emotional abuse last longer that ones from physical abuse. sometimes that phonecall can stop the abuse movin from shoutin to actual violence. social workers only get press when things go wrong and sometimes an early intervention can stop things goin further. kids only get removed when there is a risk and maybe with some extra support things may change for these kids and some help for mum do what you feel is best in your mind xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes even ringing social services doesnt help, look at recent events in Haringay, North London. Social services visited over 40 times, missing the abuse every time. Just another slant on this emotive subject!

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"Sometimes even ringing social services doesnt help, look at recent events in Haringay, North London. Social services visited over 40 times, missing the abuse every time. Just another slant on this emotive subject!"

Dammed if they do, dammed if they don't, but I would rather they “do” act each and every time in the child's interest where the evidence is overwhelming, if that means removing the child from the “family” environment then so be it.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"Sometimes even ringing social services doesnt help, look at recent events in Haringay, North London. Social services visited over 40 times, missing the abuse every time. Just another slant on this emotive subject!"

For every bad case in the press there are hundreds of god cases where they are better for the intervention. I will focus on the good and not assume they are all bad as I know they are not. Its one of the hardest jobs in the world I feel. (My cup is always half full and dont like people drinking out of my cup.)

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

thanks bi, I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"(My cup is always half full and dont like people drinking out of my cup.)"

Both cups look pretty feckin full to us

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"(My cup is always half full and dont like people drinking out of my cup.)

Both cups look pretty feckin full to us "

Why thanks very much, a touch overflowing lol xx

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