FabSwingers.com forum: Anal etiquette!!!!

By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????

Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol

Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!

Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!

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By *wingerdelightCouple
over a year ago

eastliegh

personaly we would expect the reciever of anal to have cleaned before, but if something happenes then it happens, this is why we only do anal between ourselves, it saves red faces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

Vile...but oh so funny!

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By *ickloverMan
over a year ago

Devizes

Cover the right honourable member in baby oil !

The shit don't stick to it !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

You forgot the 3 second warning by shouting 'Brace Brace Brace' followed by 'Ramming Speed!'

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

I'm so glad I haven't got told off for this post lol it's a genuine curiosity I thought I'd throw to the forum to chew on!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure it's happened but it would put me off having anal ever again, Ide be so so embarrassed

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By *alifaxsiMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Shower well and wash yourself out as much as possible.

Plenty of lube and in we go.

But as the saying goes "Shit Happens" sometimes.

Love to help you

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

Classy as ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

Sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is this considered being anal about anal?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust. "

You put me right off my chocolate mousse

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

You put me right off my chocolate mousse "

He he

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust. "

You are hanging!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic. "

Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY!

Smooth

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY!

Smooth

Hmmmm might have to re-think about u lol

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I will always shout CHARGE!!! before I take my run up.

Does this count as etiquette?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust. "

Hahaha! splatter guard needed!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.

Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up? "

Ahh that's what sploshing is !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will always shout CHARGE!!! before I take my run up.

Does this count as etiquette?"

Only a problem if the rest of the light brigade are in the queue too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.

Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up?

Ahh that's what sploshing is !"

So what's Spelunking then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust. "

Oh ffs trust you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love people being so OPEN about anal

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.

Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up?

Ahh that's what sploshing is !

So what's Spelunking then?

I think it's basically the same, except you wear a helmet with a torch fixed on the front.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so glad I haven't got told off for this post lol it's a genuine curiosity I thought I'd throw to the forum to chew on!!!"

i have shower attachment for cleaning a few hours before hand

but most sex toys sites do douche kits there were some good post a few years ago on it all

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cheese and pickle sandwich isn't quite so appetising now.

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

The replys had me in stitches you have to expect this may happen and shouldn't be doing it if they didn't expect it sometimes. Jusr don't expect your dick sucked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye? "

No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!

Stupid man

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Haha love it!!! So glad this post was taken in the humour that was intended lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!

Stupid man

Would you like a lesson?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!

Stupid man

Would you like a lesson?

Errr hmmmmmm , can I phone a friend

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You lot are priceless!

You could always use a condom...

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!

Stupid man

Would you like a lesson?

Errr hmmmmmm , can I phone a friend

I'm not offering a free service to all your mates dirty bums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye? "

He Knows : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m4mykKnGjw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!

Stupid man

Would you like a lesson?

Errr hmmmmmm , can I phone a friend

I'm not offering a free service to all your mates dirty bums

seeing as how the lesson is free I will have one please then

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

Spitting is disgusting. Why not wait until the person has diarrhoea and self lubricates?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY!

Smooth

Hmmmm might have to re-think about u lol

What I ment to say was, be relaxed, use lube and ease in gently. Stupid auto correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Douche before wsex no messy surprises then .poppyxx

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY!

Smooth

Hmmmm might have to re-think about u lol

What I ment to say was, be relaxed, use lube and ease in gently. Stupid auto correct"

Haha nah you've done it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My side hurts from laughing...twisted individuals here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

Spitting is disgusting. Why not wait until the person has diarrhoea and self lubricates? "

vomit icon if we had one!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Oh ffs trust you

Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick

but I've had sweet corn

Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.

Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?

He Knows : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m4mykKnGjw

It's made him a little off colour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is making me hungry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's called the chocolate starfish for a reason

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"This thread is making me hungry."

When you didn't think it could get any lower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is making me hungry.

When you didn't think it could get any lower

Is a straw or fork required??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is making me hungry.

When you didn't think it could get any lower

Is a straw or fork required??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is making me hungry.

When you didn't think it could get any lower

Is a straw or fork required??

or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is making me hungry.

When you didn't think it could get any lower

Is a straw or fork required??

or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets

I suppose hands would be as good as anything?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"This thread is making me hungry.

When you didn't think it could get any lower

Is a straw or fork required??

or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets

I suppose hands would be as good as anything?

I bet you're the type that uses bread to mop his meal up with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/13 19:47:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/13 19:47:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/13 19:48:02]

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Spit it out Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.

Hahaha! splatter guard needed!

In welding terms that might be called a Splashback arrestor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You lot are priceless!

You could always use a condom...

Just wondering...

After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.

In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit it out Dave

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Spit it out Dave

You're lapping this up.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

You lot are priceless!

You could always use a condom...

Just wondering...

After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.

In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc? "

If you go by Letsbehavingyous thread the other day. You leave it on the floor for someone to go arse over tit. That's when the shit really hits the fan

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Pmsl!

I just KNOW it wasnt tied and he squelched on it!!!!

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

On a sensible note - that's what wipes are for.

Love my anal fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit it out Dave

Blooming phone had a fit ! It was bloody amazing comment aswell

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

I like you Ben

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a sensible note - that's what wipes are for.

Love my anal fun.

Ah.. obvious realy.

Wipes are not something we use at home and not been to a club yet. It was a thought that came to me in a 'daydream' the other day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains

I like you Ben

Like me enough for a bit of rear door action?

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By *msmithWoman
over a year ago

bristol

I only do anal with someone I'm comfortable with. Always douche before if I know he's going there. But nowadays, he usually does it unexpectedly that I wouldn't know to wash before.. Etiquette-wise, the guy will go wash/change condom before re-entering vagina..

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You lot are priceless!

You could always use a condom...

Just wondering...

After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.

In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc? "

I didn't think about it in that much depth if I'm honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?

Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?

Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls "

Did they sell the dodgy tea sets as well? 11 mugs but no cups

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?

Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls

Did they sell the dodgy tea sets as well? 11 mugs but no cups

And managed by the Arse-venger - there you go got the thread back on track with arse action rheme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only do anal with someone I'm comfortable with. Always douche before if I know he's going there. But nowadays, he usually does it unexpectedly that I wouldn't know to wash before.. Etiquette-wise, the guy will go wash/change condom before re-entering vagina..

spot on advice for changing condoms....everyone knows that you cant play in the paddling pool after being in the sand pit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This actually happened to me once. Was giving anal to a lady and all of a sudden got that smell that something isn't quite right and the feeling of warmth increased too...needless to say, things were a bit messy down there !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

spot on advice for changing condoms....everyone knows that you cant play in the paddling pool after being in the sand pit

AKA playing with jack after you've been round Gary's.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

keep a crochet needle handy for the sweetcorn in the japs eye dilemma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????

Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol

Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!

Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!"

I have to agree if you go turd burgling you have a petty good chance of squewering a nugget at some point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????

Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol

Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!

Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!

I have to agree if you go turd burgling you have a petty good chance of squewering a nugget at some point. "

Turd burgling!

Love this

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

"keep a crochet needle handy for the sweetcorn in the japs eye dilemma "

what size crochet hook

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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Still cracking up ( pardon the pun lol) over this, you're all so great!!! X

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By *toneblueMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????

Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol

Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!

Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!"

If you want a sensible answer now all the jokes have been wrung out of it - it's pretty much as you describe in your question: (speaking for myself anyway) if anal is on the menu then I would hope and expect to find an empty parking space. However, as you said, waste goes with the territory so I think it is crucial not to be a pussy about it if it does happen, just laugh it off, clean up and carry on. If a guy can't handle the heat he should stay out of the kitchen.

I once read about a porn 'star' who in mid arse-fuck was the recipient of an unplanned arse-volcano and ran from the room puking, his career at a premature and hilarious end. Pussy should've been an accountant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok popped on the forums for my usual morning giggle, but must now confess feeling a little pukie, anal yes... Having to don waders!! Ewww

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By *ecor atorMan
over a year ago

York

Nearly herked once having been invited to drill a sweet sexy ladies Marmite mine.

After I came I pulled out and there was sweet corn on me chap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really want to write something witty but the boys have already lowered the tone!

I have anal enemas that I buy from the states online if I know it might be on the cards I can use the evening /morning before. Then im not worrying and can relax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nearly herked once having been invited to drill a sweet sexy ladies Marmite mine.

After I came I pulled out and there was sweet corn on me chap!"

You needed the crochet hook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard it all now lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Nearly herked once having been invited to drill a sweet sexy ladies Marmite mine.

After I came I pulled out and there was sweet corn on me chap!"

That must have been corn on the knob

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By *on YonsonMan
over a year ago

London

Shit happens, let's just hope it isn't during the rim job.

Flossing sweet-corn out after that will leave you mentally scarred.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has been the funniest thread for ages

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Top tip: Don't have a vindaloo the night before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I remember why I went off anal

Made me giggle big time tho esp corn on the knob & the crochet hook idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you go rummaging down the poop chute, you're bound to find something

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

Just put the lance of a pressure washer on full blast

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Does one say "Please may one insert one's penis inside your rectum"?

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