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what would you do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

not going into too much detail but for 14 years I've not spoken to my brother because of an argument, last year he posted the most nastiest of comments about my wife on facebook, this morning he was cycling in front of me, I don't know what kept me from pulling him off his bike and breaking a limb or two as I've been gunning for him ever since I saw the comments he made (worse than you get in some private messages here), anyway, if this was you, what would you have done cause I think if I see him again, I will speed up to him and put him to the floor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be the bigger person Mally hun dont stoop to his level.

I havent spoken to my family for 5 years all cos of something they did to my kids and to be honest with you I wouldnt spend the energy on them cos they aint worth it.

So my advice would be sit there smugly thinking well I could have but Im not an idiot like him and remember what goes around comes around - so he will get his one day.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never lower myself to his level...just rise above it, hold your head high and be the better person.....he'll get what's coming to him...it's karma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a similar problem a few years ago with my Brother which ended up in a fight, the fight made things worse so don't go there Mally.

I was in a Pub about a year later and he was there with his Wife so I bought them both a drink and put them on their table and just said call me if you want to sort things out, he called me the next day and we had a chat and once all the crap from years ago had ben dismissed we did sort things out.

The gesture I made would have put closure on things for me if he had called or not as I had made the effort.

Good luck Mally

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would agree with the karma attitude but my hubby would have pulled him off the bike and knocked 7 buckets of shit out of him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I....... my hubby would have pulled him off the bike and knocked 7 buckets of shit out of him

"

That was the old stu.....lolol.....am now (I hope) a better person than I ever used to be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks for that hun, I suppose the only pleasure I get from it it knowing he has the worst relationship and cant get out of it, his wife is a control freak and needs to know where he is all the time, so if he's not in work, he has to be at home, he isnt allowed to socialize either

and the sugar coating is, once he told him she'd wished she could have me instead of him, not enough alcohol in the world for that to happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thanks for that hun, I suppose the only pleasure I get from it it knowing he has the worst relationship and cant get out of it, his wife is a control freak and needs to know where he is all the time, so if he's not in work, he has to be at home, he isnt allowed to socialize either

and the sugar coating is, once he told him she'd wished she could have me instead of him, not enough alcohol in the world for that to happen "

Then this info should be enough to make you smile the next time you see him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had a similar problem a few years ago with my Brother which ended up in a fight, the fight made things worse so don't go there Mally.

I was in a Pub about a year later and he was there with his Wife so I bought them both a drink and put them on their table and just said call me if you want to sort things out, he called me the next day and we had a chat and once all the crap from years ago had ben dismissed we did sort things out.

The gesture I made would have put closure on things for me if he had called or not as I had made the effort.

Good luck Mally "

we tried that back in 2000, but he and his wife are hung up on the argument from 1996 and wont let it drop

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"thanks for that hun, I suppose the only pleasure I get from it it knowing he has the worst relationship and cant get out of it, his wife is a control freak and needs to know where he is all the time, so if he's not in work, he has to be at home, he isnt allowed to socialize either

and the sugar coating is, once he told him she'd wished she could have me instead of him, not enough alcohol in the world for that to happen "

Have you tried the approach Kev used,its awful when you fall out with family and its worked out for the good for him

Or has it gone too far for any negotiation?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"thanks for that hun, I suppose the only pleasure I get from it it knowing he has the worst relationship and cant get out of it, his wife is a control freak and needs to know where he is all the time, so if he's not in work, he has to be at home, he isnt allowed to socialize either

and the sugar coating is, once he told him she'd wished she could have me instead of him, not enough alcohol in the world for that to happen

Have you tried the approach Kev used,its awful when you fall out with family and its worked out for the good for him

Or has it gone too far for any negotiation?"

gone way past that point hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just believe in the karma ...i do... and uknow what they say u can choose ur friends u cant chose ur family..

don t waste any good or bad energy on him !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried the approach Kev used,its awful when you fall out with family and its worked out for the good for him

Or has it gone too far for any negotiation?

gone way past that point hun"

Sometimes its best for all not to carry on fighting but to just ignore they live - in my case they live just down the road and eventually I had to get the police involved (but not everyone would have done that) just to be able to get on with my life, and stop something before it happened.

I still say walk away with your head held high knowing you can control yourself.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you tried the approach Kev used,its awful when you fall out with family and its worked out for the good for him

Or has it gone too far for any negotiation?

gone way past that point hun

Sometimes its best for all not to carry on fighting but to just ignore they live - in my case they live just down the road and eventually I had to get the police involved (but not everyone would have done that) just to be able to get on with my life, and stop something before it happened.

I still say walk away with your head held high knowing you can control yourself.

Shona

x x x "

I guess I made the right choice then, plus, with me doing jiu jitsu I would have lost my license if it got back to the club and there for ruining my chance to compete professionally, so I guess, leave and ignore knowing he is in a far worse situation than I ever will be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just break all ties and carry on with ur life's, atleast u know u did try and they didnt want it. But never stoop to there level it takes a bigger man just to walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually I would say life is too short and to make amends. Only had one sister, sibling even. I was made to take her everywhere with me by my parents even when we were adults. She was the sensible one and I was the silly one. I totally resented it and tended to avoid her company. We married guys who were friends and it was through her I met my husband so our relationship improved. But it was not till I realised that I only had 3months left to spend with her that things got into perspective. I realised that all petty squabbles where just that.........petty!!!

Those last 3 months of her life showed me a sister, a woman who I never really knew. A courageous woman. Anyhow I had at least 3months in which to make up a lifetime of regrets, not enough time I grant, but at least I had the chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mally id cycle by him an smile

makes u a bigger person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pussy I am sorry you had to go thru that with your sister.

It does make you see what was right under your nose sometimes.

However in some cases (like mine) you can only take so long of being kicked when down before you say I have had enough of being the one to make amends and getting walked all over. Thats why I said sometimes its better to walk away with your head held high, knowing you arent going to make a bad situation worse, for all involved.

Mally I think you were right not to hit him (no matter how much it would have made you feel great for that 5 minutes) cos it would have dont much more damage to your life than his in the end.

Shona

x x x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

you can choose your friends but not your family

I would talk to facebook about his nasty comments

They seem quite good at addressing public abuse issues

I would not speak to him unless he makes a move to apologise and I doubt that will happen

A solicitors letter may well make him a little nervous and curb his tongue

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"you can choose your friends but not your family

I would talk to facebook about his nasty comments

They seem quite good at addressing public abuse issues

I would not speak to him unless he makes a move to apologise and I doubt that will happen

A solicitors letter may well make him a little nervous and curb his tongue "

Facebook have already booted him off and I've put iron bars round mine and my wifes pages so we cant be contacted unless theyre already in our friend list

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

And the thing is if you do hit him, he could possibly have you for assault and that really is the last thing you want.

Be the bigger man and as you say you know he is miserable in his life and as someone already said, "What goes round, comes round"

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

let his tyres down

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"let his tyres down "

haha, maybe I could shoot them out with my rifle

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

you can do lots of sly irritating things

Like

putting his number up in a gay club

Put him on a fe mailing lists

You know the childish stuff that makes you feel great hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"you can do lots of sly irritating things

Like

putting his number up in a gay club

Put him on a fe mailing lists

You know the childish stuff that makes you feel great hahaha "

haha yeah but dont have any contact details, although I could send his address to some direct mailing houses

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

go fer it

Try tenalady

stanna stairlifts

saga

etc etc

Mind You I am NOT confessing to nowt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"putting his number up in a gay club "

Well that one is illegal, so I wouldn't suggest it.

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By *OOKMan
over a year ago

liverpool but living in thailand

karma ,,,,,,,,,,, it does happen

a situation once in my life,,,,,,,, a bloke owed me lots of money from a house sale and wouldnt give me it,,,,,,,,he was a millionaire... and how a year later he lost his business,,,,,,,and had to fight a guy for a measly amount of money,,,,,,,,,,, then he got run over outside his house,,,,,,,,

was i sad,,,,,,,nope.....(hes not dead btw)

so sir

my advice ,,,,,, beleive in karma,,,,,,

cheers

alex

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

In such situations… it’s always a good idea to carry a pair of marigolds in the glove box and note the location of poop-scoop bins along your journey.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In such situations… it’s always a good idea to carry a pair of marigolds in the glove box and note the location of poop-scoop bins along your journey."

i'm going with the Karma approach, leave him to wither and die on his own without any help from me

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"In such situations… it’s always a good idea to carry a pair of marigolds in the glove box and note the location of poop-scoop bins along your journey.

i'm going with the Karma approach, leave him to wither and die on his own without any help from me"

Are you just worried about your aim? .... Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "crap shot"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In such situations… it’s always a good idea to carry a pair of marigolds in the glove box and note the location of poop-scoop bins along your journey.

i'm going with the Karma approach, leave him to wither and die on his own without any help from me

Are you just worried about your aim? .... Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "crap shot" "

haha, no, I'm very good with aiming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't spoken to one of my sisters since my father died last year. If she were on fire I'd toast marshmellows which is sad as we're only 15 months apart and were close once.

People change - sometimes not for the better, and I'm not a believer in blood being thicker than water.

Maintain your dignity, best you can do is remain happy within the family you've created and leave your brother to the gods.

I may be wrong, but I think sense some unfinished business between you and your brother, otherwise you wouldn't have reacted so strongly in seeing him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mally- you did exactly the right thing in not mowing him down.

Maybe I'm a bit too hippy dippy but with these situations hate breeds hate and anger breeds yet more anger.

You get to the stage where you cant even remember who fired the first shot or why you started hating each other.

Be the bigger man and dont resort to reprisals. Life is short and sometimes people realise that they havent treated you well.

Out of interest do you do Brazilian Ju Jitsu or traditional?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I suppose your right, just that even though as mad as it sounds he only lives about 1000 yds away from me, i never see him and on the occasion I have, he's been cycling to work, i think its just sad the way he wont accept the apology he got from my wife and me and move on, the same happened with my oldest brother but when my nan dies back in 2008 i decided to try and get things sorted with all parties, only my eldest brother was willing to leave the past behind and move forward which is great now, as we have a better relationship but the other brother just didnt want to even entertain the idea of the 3 of us going for a quiet drink and smoothing things over

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"In such situations… it’s always a good idea to carry a pair of marigolds in the glove box and note the location of poop-scoop bins along your journey.

i'm going with the Karma approach, leave him to wither and die on his own without any help from me

Are you just worried about your aim? .... Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "crap shot"

haha, no, I'm very good with aiming "

If you have a really good aim you could try bunny-bob and aim for his ears .... not the bunny's ears!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Out of interest do you do Brazilian Ju Jitsu or traditional?"

its a Hanasaku Ryu Jujitsu club which is traditional but I do occasionally go to a Brazilian one, met Royce Gracie, a legend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do yer know what forum. this op gives such a terrible impression of a fist happy scouse lout. who is so far from it. he is a lovely gentle articulate guy who i nearly had the pleasure of running over in my car once.

but reading the forum its so easy to think something else.

mally yer lovely xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"do yer know what forum. this op gives such a terrible impression of a fist happy scouse lout. who is so far from it. he is a lovely gentle articulate guy who i nearly had the pleasure of running over in my car once.

but reading the forum its so easy to think something else.

mally yer lovely xxx"

cheers babe, I hope I'm not coming across as the stereotypical scouse, I have many layers, specially in this cold weather brrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh u so do come across as a stereotypical scouser. curly hair and the calm calm down approach.

if only they knew huh!!!!

knew i shud have flattened yer with me brum brum, will hit the pedals next time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"oh u so do come across as a stereotypical scouser. curly hair and the calm calm down approach.

if only they knew huh!!!!

knew i shud have flattened yer with me brum brum, will hit the pedals next time"

i'd love nothing more than to be hit several times with your front bumper

I have a new bike now dark green frame, although I still wear the lycra and the high viz top so I'm easy to spot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh u so do come across as a stereotypical scouser. curly hair and the calm calm down approach.

if only they knew huh!!!!

knew i shud have flattened yer with me brum brum, will hit the pedals next time

i'd love nothing more than to be hit several times with your front bumper

I have a new bike now dark green frame, although I still wear the lycra and the high viz top so I'm easy to spot "

yeah but i have a different route now. go past you work now on my way home. but at that time your by where i used to live

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yeah that is a shame, will have to wait for that coffee invite

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