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"I say it depends on your relationship as well as the love. If you were seeing someone and they loved you but it was unrequited I think you have a responsibility to be kind and honest with them, but that doesn't mean you stay with them. Or a stalker might love a person, the object of that love has no responsibility towards the stalker." I'd argue that stalking is obsession and mental illness rather than love | |||
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"I say it depends on your relationship as well as the love. If you were seeing someone and they loved you but it was unrequited I think you have a responsibility to be kind and honest with them, but that doesn't mean you stay with them. Or a stalker might love a person, the object of that love has no responsibility towards the stalker. I'd argue that stalking is obsession and mental illness rather than love " I think it is obsession and mental illness, but I think love might sometimes exist there | |||
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"A bit deep for a Monday, but it's okay. I was just listening to Strange by Laura Marling. She says that when someone loves you, it becomes your responsibility. She's talking about lovers not children, family. What do you say ?" And…isn’t it Tuesday? I wish it was Monday cos we’d have another day in PDI! Have we packed a day too early?! 😆 | |||
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"Obligations to respect them and treat them well? I'd have thought so but many don't find that necessary " Obligation to treat them differently / better from someone who doesn't love you? It's their choice to love you, what if you didn't ask for it? | |||
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"Does she expand on what she thinks the ‘lovee’ becomes responsible for? " Not really not that I can understand Well you love me and I know that, we can't let a precious thing go I don't love you like you love me, I'm pretty sure that you know Just try and bring meaning to all things and when you try to take it in, no one wants to be alone But should you fall in love with me, your love becomes my responsibility and I can never do you wrong Do you know how hard that is? Do you know how strange I love you? No I do not believe we were born equally Wanna know what I see? Those who do good will be treated accordingly | |||
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"A bit deep for a Monday, but it's okay. I was just listening to Strange by Laura Marling. She says that when someone loves you, it becomes your responsibility. She's talking about lovers not children, family. What do you say ? And…isn’t it Tuesday? I wish it was Monday cos we’d have another day in PDI! Have we packed a day too early?! 😆" No, it's Tuesday you're right! Yay one less day till the weekend! | |||
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"Obligations to respect them and treat them well? I'd have thought so but many don't find that necessary Obligation to treat them differently / better from someone who doesn't love you? It's their choice to love you, what if you didn't ask for it?" No not better but I thing it behoves you to be a little more aware of their feelings | |||
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"I say it depends on your relationship as well as the love. If you were seeing someone and they loved you but it was unrequited I think you have a responsibility to be kind and honest with them, but that doesn't mean you stay with them. Or a stalker might love a person, the object of that love has no responsibility towards the stalker. I'd argue that stalking is obsession and mental illness rather than love I think it is obsession and mental illness, but I think love might sometimes exist there " Some people might truly believe they love someone while they're stalking them but they're mistaken | |||
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"I say it depends on your relationship as well as the love. If you were seeing someone and they loved you but it was unrequited I think you have a responsibility to be kind and honest with them, but that doesn't mean you stay with them. Or a stalker might love a person, the object of that love has no responsibility towards the stalker. I'd argue that stalking is obsession and mental illness rather than love I think it is obsession and mental illness, but I think love might sometimes exist there Some people might truly believe they love someone while they're stalking them but they're mistaken " I don't know, never stalked or been stalked. It's strong feelings from them and I think there's no obligation from the victim either way. | |||
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"Obligations to respect them and treat them well? I'd have thought so but many don't find that necessary Obligation to treat them differently / better from someone who doesn't love you? It's their choice to love you, what if you didn't ask for it? No not better but I thing it behoves you to be a little more aware of their feelings " Agreed, so I think the song is fairly accurate | |||
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"I say it depends on your relationship as well as the love. If you were seeing someone and they loved you but it was unrequited I think you have a responsibility to be kind and honest with them, but that doesn't mean you stay with them. Or a stalker might love a person, the object of that love has no responsibility towards the stalker. I'd argue that stalking is obsession and mental illness rather than love I think it is obsession and mental illness, but I think love might sometimes exist there Some people might truly believe they love someone while they're stalking them but they're mistaken I don't know, never stalked or been stalked. It's strong feelings from them and I think there's no obligation from the victim either way. " Fortunately neither have I. I've known personally two people who have been, both were colleagues. One was a young woman in her 20s who I witnessed cowering under a desk after running in from the car park where her stalker had followed her. The other experienced a guy sleeping in his car outside her house and leaning on her doorbell for very long periods of time. Neither of those things are love in my world. I agree with you that they're strong feelings though | |||
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"Obligations to respect them and treat them well? I'd have thought so but many don't find that necessary Obligation to treat them differently / better from someone who doesn't love you? It's their choice to love you, what if you didn't ask for it? No not better but I thing it behoves you to be a little more aware of their feelings Agreed, so I think the song is fairly accurate" To a degree but I think the bit about ' I can never do you wrong' isn't accurate, we can love hard and still do wrong to people because we're human | |||
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"What about the idea that it isn’t love unless the person loves you back. Isn’t part of the depth and truth of love knowing that the other person loves you back? So they cannot truly love you if you don’t love them. " Yes, maybe, if it's unrequited, it could be thought of as infatuation, obsession or needyness ? Somebody who claimed to love me once said "I could make you so happy". I said I am fully happy now and if I was with you, I would be very unhappy. People who love someone who don't love them back often have insecurity. I think there is a difference when it's a X where you both were in love, and then one person fell out of love and the other still loves you, wanting what was before. | |||
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"What about the idea that it isn’t love unless the person loves you back. Isn’t part of the depth and truth of love knowing that the other person loves you back? So they cannot truly love you if you don’t love them. Yes, maybe, if it's unrequited, it could be thought of as infatuation, obsession or needyness ? Somebody who claimed to love me once said "I could make you so happy". I said I am fully happy now and if I was with you, I would be very unhappy. People who love someone who don't love them back often have insecurity. I think there is a difference when it's a X where you both were in love, and then one person fell out of love and the other still loves you, wanting what was before." I agree with this. It’s interesting looking into what love is, as opposed to limerence, infatuation, fantasy, projection, grief. If that person no longer loves me, then I shouldn’t love them back as they can’t want/deserve/reciprocate. Of course, totally easier said than done but a good thought experiment in the worst moments. | |||
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" I don't feel that way now - when people say they love me, it's quite often the idea, the pedestalised version. Making that my responsibility is too much of a ballache. " I think this too, when people fall in love with someone quickly and it's not reciprocated they are often just in love with the idea of them, and want them, to possess them rather than love them for who they are | |||
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"If someone loves you, does that mean they respect your stance even if they don't like it? (ie not reciprocated) Love isn't nor should be conditional. " Yes, I think you can love someone sometimes knowing they don't feel the same way, and that's ok, you think they're great, but you don't need their love back in the traditional way, if you are secure in yourself | |||
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"Not sure if this relevant bit i love my kids ,but it felt like an obligation when the had the kids ob heads trs for like 13 to 21 🤣🤣 always loved them but deffo dide t like them 🤣 " Kids are different because it's unconditional, you made them and you love them because they are from you, even if you don't like them sometimes, | |||
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