FabSwingers.com forum: Dating Advice

Telford

Morning fellow fabbers!

I’m at a point in my life where I think I’m ready. I spent 10+ years on here swinging with my ex wife, met a lot of amazing people, went to a lot of clubs and just had the best time. From meets, to MMF, FFM, groups, even a poly relationship. Our profile popular, our pics in the hot pics often. Our inbox impossibly full… good times.

But my marriage ended 2 and a half years ago, and since then I’ve been the single guy on fab. Ugh.

I’ve tried dating since, but it never works for me because I’m looking to date in the world of kink and/or swing. First relationship was sexually fun but she wasn’t that nice a person. Second relationship she was a lovely person but only knew what basic, silent sex was, and didn’t want even the basics.

I’ve tried all sorts of apps, all the usual ones anyway. I’ve tried going to clubs on my own, meeting and what not. But man, is it hard to date in this world… it really is a shame FAB doesn’t have a new box that says “looking to date”.

What top tips have you got past the basic I’ve already tried? I’m shooting blanks here. Not literally but you get the idea.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 days ago

East Sussex

All I can suggest is that you start a dating thread. It might being people together.

Dating nowadays sounds like an absolute minefield to me but I wish you much luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iver78Man
5 days ago

barton upon humber

As a confirmed bachelor I cannot give you any relationship advice as I have never had a relationship last longer than 8mths.!! And I tend to see most relationships I do have have a 3mth life span , once the initial " spark wears off they tend to end " i openly admit i have commitment issues hence why im on here ,.but as for finding people to actually date you cannot beat actually going out and meeting someone , im lucky in the respect I travel a lot for work , and I also find not being " in people's faces works , I never go out with the intention of meeting anyone and if a women talks to me I dont automatically see her as a potential partner 🤣 im a strong believer that being nice and not being creepy helps.

I have done dating apps and I make sure my profile states " looking for fwb , again works ok for me

Dating in 2026 is like applying for a job , women litrally have hundreds of applicants and like fab the whole interview process is addictive for some ( thats what iv been told !? ) sure ill get shot down 🤣.so ill wish you good luck and sure you will find someone with time 😊

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UBLINCASTLEMan
5 days ago

DUBLIN

Get a dog. That will instantly make you more attractive and its also a great means to get chatted too. Get a proper man's dog like a labrador and call it something normal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyBugsWoman
5 days ago

not local even if it says I am

Single here longer than you. I dabbled in some dating apps but fuck me it’s hard work.

Apparently the advice most people have is don’t look and that’s when it finds you?!

Anyway I think my new strategy is just see who wants to go on coffee dates and if no one turns up I’ll just read my book. I’ve a lot of them to read so I shouldn’t run out if no one ever turns up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he MinionMan
5 days ago

Surrey

I think if Fab had a looking to date/serious relationship seeker box, most would just tick it anyway.

But you are right, it is tough being a single guy,especially when comming from a succesful couples account.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hickthighs-26Woman
5 days ago

the land of vagina

"I think if Fab had a looking to date/serious relationship seeker box, most would just tick it anyway.

But you are right, it is tough being a single guy,especially when comming from a succesful couples account.

I agree with this. I think its difficult on here as a lot of people say what they think you want to here to have there needs met and arnt genuinely truthful about their intentions.

But i agree with mrs nicecouple maybe start a dating thread (i realise this is one) but more of a if your looking to date in the lifestyle come say hi type of one on the forum as they may be some people you wouldnt usually come across on here who are looking for similar.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ong-leggedblondWoman
5 days ago

Next Door

Dating apps are bloody hardworking, ive used them previously and have now given up totally with them. Tried speed dating but that's not for me, so im trying a group single social in a few weeks. Im better at chatting face to face than online.

I do have on my bio on here, im open to dating and really think it's a good idea if fab had the option to add this to your profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lderflowerAppleWoman
5 days ago

Hampshire

"All I can suggest is that you start a dating thread. It might being people together.

Dating nowadays sounds like an absolute minefield to me but I wish you much luck "

The challenge with this is that even though there have been a few of these, the forum users represent a very small proportion of overall users, with some regions more represented than others.

So whilst the idea is good, the reality is that the dating threads rarely go anywhere.

I've tried many of the dating apps - even those proclaiming to be for those in a kink or alternative lifestyle, mostly without success. I've 'fallen' into more relationships with folk I've met from Fab than I've had successful relationships through dating apps - all at a point where I'd pretty much given up on the idea of dating and relationships.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *007ManMan
5 days ago

Worthing

Go for walks and if into music, gigs. Get talking to women in an open public environment. Good luck!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommander_Strax OP Man
5 days ago

Telford

All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

I’m in popular apps and make it as obvious as I can without it being the only thing my profile is telling about or too cringe. I’m also on the bigger kink friendly dating apps. Sadly though, not only are there so few people on these apps as it is, in my area (Telford Shropshire) there are pretty much no users.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iver78Man
5 days ago

barton upon humber

"Dating apps are bloody hardworking, ive used them previously and have now given up totally with them. Tried speed dating but that's not for me, so im trying a group single social in a few weeks. Im better at chatting face to face than online.

I do have on my bio on here, im open to dating and really think it's a good idea if fab had the option to add this to your profile.

I get the open to dating comment. But I also know a lot of men put that on there profiles as a kinda bait ! And it unfortunately works ,which i find wrong , if your not after a relationship you shouldn't lie , iv met women on here for something casual and they have treat it as a start to something more which I also find odd 🤔

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *recklesAndGymMan
5 days ago

Lancashire

Dating apps are ridiculous. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. Tinder is probably the worst.

I feel like so many people use these dating apps as a way of attention seeking and getting validation. Which makes it hard work for those genuinely wanting something from the dating apps.

Then there's the endless fake accounts and scammers.

Honestly for all its faults and no app is perfect. I find fab is miles better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
5 days ago

Tin town

Is old school meeting in a pub, gig, holiday, gym, club, no longer acceptable? Does it have to be app driven? Asking for a friend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weetiepie99Woman
5 days ago

cardiff

I use dating apps. They work for me, though you have to 'sift', a lot!!Thats all i can add.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommander_Strax OP Man
5 days ago

Telford

"Is old school meeting in a pub, gig, holiday, gym, club, no longer acceptable? Does it have to be app driven? Asking for a friend. "

Not at all, however it’s not the usual these days.

Oddly while I can walk through a club naked and play with multiple people, or be dominating in a bedroom, or he’ll stand up in front of hundreds and talk… I still haven’t quite mastered going up to somebody on their night out in that way. It’s very different when there’s an actual romantic intent there, and a lot of people these days see it as quite creepy or rude sadly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oul_Man_501Man
5 days ago

Kent

I'm still on a few dating sites, but prefer Fab to be honest 🙂

I've seen women on here who don't necessarily want the swinging lifestyle, but looking for FWB or something casual 💕

Just got to find the right one 👍

Difficult, but there's always hope 🙏

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tormQueenWoman
5 days ago

All over the place

"All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all."

Hi, you havent asked for profile advice so Im not being detailed but I find it interesting that you think your profile presents as you being "obviously" looking for a relationship 🤷‍♀️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommander_Strax OP Man
5 days ago

Telford

"All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all.

Hi, you havent asked for profile advice so Im not being detailed but I find it interesting that you think your profile presents as you being "obviously" looking for a relationship 🤷‍♀️"

The very fore line in my profile says: “ *Openly looking for a relationship, but also happy to play with the right honest people*”

Then later it again states: “ Ideally, I would love to find somebody in the lifestyle I could meet and form a relationship with…”

I mean, what else can you do?

Also, I wasn’t JUST on about FAB for dating, but really anywhere - apps, sites etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverstone73Man
5 days ago

Bargoed

I met my second and present wife on a dating app, after my first wife passed in 2015, my greatest problem wasn't finding women to chat with or even date but convincing them that I was actually a widower looking for a relationship and not simply "on the make" had quite a few fwb but that's not what I wanted, had a long term affair during my first marriage and although it was exciting and very sexually fulfilling , neither the woman involved or I, could see any future in it, so after 10 yrs we parted company but remained very close friends until she herself passed early this year, neither her husband or my late first wife ever found out, or at least if they did, never brought up the subject. I'm only revealing this now because she's no longer here and our secret died with her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tormQueenWoman
5 days ago

All over the place

"All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all.

Hi, you havent asked for profile advice so Im not being detailed but I find it interesting that you think your profile presents as you being "obviously" looking for a relationship 🤷‍♀️

The very fore line in my profile says: “ *Openly looking for a relationship, but also happy to play with the right honest people*”

Then later it again states: “ Ideally, I would love to find somebody in the lifestyle I could meet and form a relationship with…”

I mean, what else can you do?

Also, I wasn’t JUST on about FAB for dating, but really anywhere - apps, sites etc."

Admittedly I skimmed through, as people do 😁 i was just reflecting my inital impression giving your post to try and assist 😊

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
5 days ago

North West

I really like your profile and if you were closer would definitely message. However mine is a solo profile as I’m poly with two partners so although I’m open to dating I don’t realistically have much capacity.

PS. I have d*unk Baileys from a shoe and have the receipts 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antra MassageMan
5 days ago

Yoniville

"Get a dog. That will instantly make you more attractive and its also a great means to get chatted too. Get a proper man's dog like a labrador and call it something normal. "

Best advice ever.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dwalu2Couple
5 days ago

Bristol

Dating through the swing/kink worlds is pretty much doomed to failure unless you are extremely lucky. It’s hard enough to meet someone where there is a mutual attraction, let alone for that rare person to mutually share all the attributes that will make a successful relationship for you both.

The most likely way is to meet someone in the real world and bring them with you into this one. You say this never works for you but you only split up with your wife two and a half years ago, that’s not much time to be single and find a genuine relationship, especially one that is alternative in most people’s eyes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
5 days ago

Tin town

"Get a dog. That will instantly make you more attractive and its also a great means to get chatted too. Get a proper man's dog like a labrador and call it something normal.

Best advice ever. "

Reminds me of a young ones sketch. Can you put your hand up a dogs skirt?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
5 days ago

Tin town

"All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all.

Hi, you havent asked for profile advice so Im not being detailed but I find it interesting that you think your profile presents as you being "obviously" looking for a relationship 🤷‍♀️

The very fore line in my profile says: “ *Openly looking for a relationship, but also happy to play with the right honest people*”

Then later it again states: “ Ideally, I would love to find somebody in the lifestyle I could meet and form a relationship with…”

I mean, what else can you do?

Also, I wasn’t JUST on about FAB for dating, but really anywhere - apps, sites etc."

Yeah but apart from writing it twice it's not obvious enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommander_Strax OP Man
5 days ago

Telford

"All good advice, sadly I agree with the comments though. Making a new thread won’t appeal to the already low view count.

It’s pretty crap really. I hate dating in general as it is, but I don’t want to give up on the kinkier side of my life. I tried that and it just did not work.

Hopefully some single lady will stumble on this thread and message, but I doubt it.

Still, thanks for the advice and suggestions so far all.

Hi, you havent asked for profile advice so Im not being detailed but I find it interesting that you think your profile presents as you being "obviously" looking for a relationship 🤷‍♀️

The very fore line in my profile says: “ *Openly looking for a relationship, but also happy to play with the right honest people*”

Then later it again states: “ Ideally, I would love to find somebody in the lifestyle I could meet and form a relationship with…”

I mean, what else can you do?

Also, I wasn’t JUST on about FAB for dating, but really anywhere - apps, sites etc.

Yeah but apart from writing it twice it's not obvious enough"

So what would you suggest?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilled SamMan
5 days ago

Reading

Single guy here too and seasoned dater, lots of different experiences so give me a shout if you have any questions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JCRoseWoman
4 days ago

Caversham

I have no advice as wondering the same thing.

I know this is the lifestyle I want but finding someone to date on a normal site and bring up this is difficult.

Even on kinkier Apps it's mainly a specific kink not this kind of lifestyle.

Like others said you will have certain people tick the dating box if they had one just for the fun of it which would not be helpful.

Maybe I need to add it to my profile but hardly any one reads it as it is an essay lol 😆

Good luck in your search.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *earditallWoman
4 days ago

Lancaster

I've dated from here in the past I think it's just something that progresses at the time,you're not really looking for it but it happens type of thing.

Maybe start a thread or let people know if you're building a connection that you are open to it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovetowalkMan
4 days ago

London / Norwich

Recently came off a mainstream dating site- with no success.

Found there was a lot of fake profiles, people messing around and genuine people being cautious- bit like here.

And if going on as a single guy- Found it not uncommon for so- called single ladies asking for money transfer.

I dare to dream on here and be my usual chatting self in the vanilla world and who knows!

Good luck to similar life style people here seeking on fab/ vanilla world.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oshGirlSATV/TS
4 days ago

swansea

I met my last boyfriend on here. Neither of us were looking for a relationship but when we met the sparks flew. I would say, don’t actively advertise that you’re looking for a relationship with someone on here. You’ll know when you’ve come across the right person when you want them to be more than a shag and hopefully they feel the same too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread