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"Forgave one once and he continued to cheat. Never again " Exactly this | |||
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"I never forgave the kids mam and I felt I was right in not doing so, it took everything from me destroyed my family and it never felt the same, I mind wor Chloe’s birthday 6 months or so after it happened we had been out and set the pool up in the garden as it was red hot and on what should have been such a joyful day I just didn’t feel right, I won’t lie there was happy times since but it was always there at back of mind poisoning every happy moment, it took 7 years to realise it was never going to work I remember the moment i was at work laying flagstones under the sun on this beautiful old sandstone courtyard garden with amazing planting and I remember feeling good, actually happy for a brief moment then the realisation of being a pathetic looser who took a lass back after cheating kicked in a ruined the moment like alwaysI knew then I’d never be right as long as we together and things kind of fell apart from there I don’t believe anyone should be forgiven for cheating the damage it can cause is life changing " That is good you felt it was the right thing, yes, it is life changing too  | |||
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"I think it's less about forgiving and forgetting (or not) and more a question of whether you want to still know a person after you learn new things about who they are now. It applies to lots of things, not just cheating. As you go through life and make choices and people change or reveal more of themselves you're allowed to say no thank you to having them continue to hold a place in your life. You can forgive and move on in different ways. Who you were before cheating is gone. Can't go back or get back to that person." This... My ex ended our marriage after a year of covert shenanigans. All in the past, and did me a favour in the long term, but all respect lost. | |||
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"I think it's less about forgiving and forgetting (or not) and more a question of whether you want to still know a person after you learn new things about who they are now. It applies to lots of things, not just cheating. As you go through life and make choices and people change or reveal more of themselves you're allowed to say no thank you to having them continue to hold a place in your life. You can forgive and move on in different ways. Who you were before cheating is gone. Can't go back or get back to that person." Hi lovely, yes, you are right there, it is more about if you want to still know a person who they are now too | |||
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"Forgiving and rebuilding trust are different things. You can forgive and even understand why someone has betrayed your trust, learning to rebuild the trust is much harder to do and takes time, will the relationship ever be the same possibly not but if you choose to move forwards and to forge something new it can work. This however depends on things like accountability transparency why it happened in the first place and of course you have to have trust in the person that you’re working with…. " Yes this is right. There’s no ‘yes you can’ / ‘no you can’t’ answer that fits everyone, it depends on the two individuals involved and no-one else. | |||
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"Probably you can but I'm not a big believer in forgiving every damn transgression. Some things are unforgivable " Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, some things are unforgivable too | |||
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"You can forgive if you want to. However, the relationship is changed forever. It will require effort from the cheater to rebuild trust. Possibly couples therapy. Every case is different. Actions have consequences. Some people don't want to work on their relationship, they just want to satisfy their own desires, regardless of consequences. Some people can't trust again, so they end things." Yes, you can forgive them if you want to do it too | |||
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"I’ve been cheated on in the past, forgave them and they saw that as a green light to do it again and they did. If my current partner cheated it would be the end because I can’t see the justification. We swing he’s had full permission from me to sleep with multiple woman over the course of our relationship and continues to do so. We also have a very active sex life. Do it most days if not everyday. So my question to him if he was to cheat is why ? Can’t be lack of sex ? Can’t be lack of variety or boredom so it would be for some other reason which would mean the end of us. I’ve seen cheating men and woman completely break up families and ruin lives. We as a couple if we see a profile that even hints that they are doing something behind someone’s back instantly block them as we don’t and won’t entertain it. Communication to us is key and if a partner can’t communicate what’s lacking in the relationship to make them want to cheat then that is an issue in its self. We always say why cheat when you can swing eh ?! " I thought the same thing swinging is a great fun way to meet and enjoy others without anyone being hurt | |||
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"You can forgive if you want to. However, the relationship is changed forever. It will require effort from the cheater to rebuild trust. Possibly couples therapy. Every case is different. Actions have consequences. Some people don't want to work on their relationship, they just want to satisfy their own desires, regardless of consequences. Some people can't trust again, so they end things." All too true in many cases, it’s always their desires that come above anyone else’s. Shame as many relationships could be much better if both parties learnt how to talk to each other instead of looking for the nearest easiest cock or pussy | |||
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"Vamps sensible thread last night "Erm wrong thread 😂😂 | |||
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"Vamps sensible thread last night
Erm wrong thread 😂😂"Epic 🤣🤣 | |||
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"I saw a quite sad post from a woman who cheated on her husband, she said things like how he accepted the apology but she didnt feel like he loved her anymore like he did before like there was a feeling of coldness. I can totally understand why her husband felt like that because she have betrayed him so as a consequence of that the love disappears not just that but also the trust which is an important component in a relationship. I would also find it difficult to forgive, you can forgive them but that doesnt mean you get back to them because they will never get that same level of trust again. It would be interesting to see what your view of it is,can you forgive one, have you been in the same kind of situation where you had to forgive someone and how did it go, did you forgive them, if you did would they had to demonstrate certain things to build up the trust again too? "I can forgive once if the behaviour is changed and I know it takes nearly 2 years of deep psychological work to change the behaviour. Most cheaters and ab()$ers never do that. To be clear I view, cheating as sexual, physical and emotional ab()$e. You break the intimate bond needed for sexual trust. You are dishonest and disregard the risk of sexual health to your committed life partner. You lie, omit the truth and betray your committed life partner. Even if they don't know exactly what you are doing, they know deep in their psyche that you are doing something wrong and you are harming them subconsciously. They work harder to make you be closer to them, but the strain makes them ill. Any gender. Not official cheating but I lived with a husband that was dysfunctional in his behaviour and was given multiple chances to improve until it all came crashing down around his ears. That's why I cut dysfunctional people off. They only see things from their point of view and they will drag you down with them. Why would he love her like before when she ripped his heart out and stomped on it? Did she think it would just magically repair itself again with no actual work? Sounds like a fantasy instead of reality...sounds like she is going to cheat again. | |||
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"I never forgave the kids mam and I felt I was right in not doing so, it took everything from me destroyed my family and it never felt the same, I mind wor Chloe’s birthday 6 months or so after it happened we had been out and set the pool up in the garden as it was red hot and on what should have been such a joyful day I just didn’t feel right, I won’t lie there was happy times since but it was always there at back of mind poisoning every happy moment, it took 7 years to realise it was never going to work I remember the moment i was at work laying flagstones under the sun on this beautiful old sandstone courtyard garden with amazing planting and I remember feeling good, actually happy for a brief moment then the realisation of being a pathetic looser who took a lass back after cheating kicked in a ruined the moment like alwaysI knew then I’d never be right as long as we together and things kind of fell apart from there I don’t believe anyone should be forgiven for cheating the damage it can cause is life changing " Hugs. The hard work is getting the thought that " you are a pathetic loser" out of your head. I think sticking it out for 7 years means that you are a survivor not a loser. The shame is not yours but all hers because you done nothing wrong. My job fired me for ill health. I'm not ashamed because I did nothing wrong to be sick, and they could have adjusted to help me with my disabilities...which they didn't. The shame is there's not mine! We are brave Warriors. Weaker people would have ended up in hospital, prison or the grave having gone through what we've gone through. We are still here and still alive and kicking. | |||
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"I think it's less about forgiving and forgetting (or not) and more a question of whether you want to still know a person after you learn new things about who they are now. It applies to lots of things, not just cheating. As you go through life and make choices and people change or reveal more of themselves you're allowed to say no thank you to having them continue to hold a place in your life. You can forgive and move on in different ways. Who you were before cheating is gone. Can't go back or get back to that person." Definitely agree to not being able to go back to the past. Can't get that previous love and relationship back at all. That was an illusion for the cheating. | |||
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"You can forgive if you want to. However, the relationship is changed forever. It will require effort from the cheater to rebuild trust. Possibly couples therapy. Every case is different. Actions have consequences. Some people don't want to work on their relationship, they just want to satisfy their own desires, regardless of consequences. Some people can't trust again, so they end things." Definitely, I can't trust someone who won't communicate. So those people who shut down communication when they get emotionally overwhelmed will never be compatible with me. Often it's the cheater's shame that makes them shut down but avoidance is probably what made them cheat in the first place instead of assertively fixing the relationship head-on. I don't even trust people who don't communicate in any setting. It's one sided when they are just wrapped up in their own inner world, the good, the bad and the ugly...and then explode and do some toxic shit. Nope. Not for me. | |||
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"I really respect the married couples I meet. They are sexually honest with each other." This! Mad respect if it's sexual incompatibility for whatever reason. They are also being emotionally and mentally honest with their committed life partner, saying out loud, "Hey, I don't feel good emotionally, and my thoughts are becoming impulsive, negative and irrational, so we need to negotiate a compromise if we want our commitment to continue" Of course for 75% of people that I've met, this level of honesty is not natural and in some cases, unattainable without intervention. Other cases you can have all the intervention in the world and they will still be dishonest.  Some people are addicted to lying and hiding the truth.  | |||
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"Forgiving and rebuilding trust are different things. You can forgive and even understand why someone has betrayed your trust, learning to rebuild the trust is much harder to do and takes time, will the relationship ever be the same possibly not but if you choose to move forwards and to forge something new it can work. This however depends on things like accountability transparency why it happened in the first place and of course you have to have trust in the person that you’re working with…. " It's literally a trauma. You can say you forgive with your mouth But your subconscious mind and body keep the score. That's what a lot of cheaters do not understand. They are so focused on their own wants and desires that they don't understand that the person they betrayed is walking around with a raw, open psychosomatic wound. "Oh my god they don't love me like they use to" "No because they have a hole in their heart where that love used to be, and you put the hole there." Put love on the back burner and put communication, understanding, compassion and empathy for others and self-awareness on the front. | |||
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"Forgiving is the easier bit. Forgetting is a different story." The Body remembers. | |||
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"I’ve been cheated on in the past, forgave them and they saw that as a green light to do it again and they did. If my current partner cheated it would be the end because I can’t see the justification. We swing he’s had full permission from me to sleep with multiple woman over the course of our relationship and continues to do so. We also have a very active sex life. Do it most days if not everyday. So my question to him if he was to cheat is why ? Can’t be lack of sex ? Can’t be lack of variety or boredom so it would be for some other reason which would mean the end of us. I’ve seen cheating men and woman completely break up families and ruin lives. We as a couple if we see a profile that even hints that they are doing something behind someone’s back instantly block them as we don’t and won’t entertain it. Communication to us is key and if a partner can’t communicate what’s lacking in the relationship to make them want to cheat then that is an issue in its self. We always say why cheat when you can swing eh ?! " Some people don't know how to communicate what is lacking. I recently had to remove a swinger partner for this. He has an issue with something I thought I had done ( he wasn't present, someone else told him I'd had done something). Instead of coming to me directly and immediately, he sat and stewed on it for 6 weeks and then when I tried to get more information and context to jog my ME/CFS memory loss, he refused to discuss it and compromise and negotiate for over a week. I've been in therapy but I'm not a psychotherapist for people who have communication issues and then attempt to attack me for their lack of communication, context, understanding and false narratives/ assumptions that they make up in their head for whatever reason. Nope. Not my responsibility for other people's dysfunction. I have my own dysfunction to deal with. :p Her: He doesn't love me like before. Me: Maybe that's because you ripped his heart out. Saying the word "Sorry" doesn't just magically put it back in. | |||
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"I’ve been cheated on in the past, forgave them and they saw that as a green light to do it again and they did. If my current partner cheated it would be the end because I can’t see the justification. We swing he’s had full permission from me to sleep with multiple woman over the course of our relationship and continues to do so. We also have a very active sex life. Do it most days if not everyday. So my question to him if he was to cheat is why ? Can’t be lack of sex ? Can’t be lack of variety or boredom so it would be for some other reason which would mean the end of us. I’ve seen cheating men and woman completely break up families and ruin lives. We as a couple if we see a profile that even hints that they are doing something behind someone’s back instantly block them as we don’t and won’t entertain it. Communication to us is key and if a partner can’t communicate what’s lacking in the relationship to make them want to cheat then that is an issue in its self. We always say why cheat when you can swing eh ?! I thought the same thing swinging is a great fun way to meet and enjoy others without anyone being hurt " People still get hurt in swinging. See above. One of my partners has been swinging for about 20 years and he's still amazed at the jealousy, gossip, rumours, bad-talking and negativity surrounding a lot of groups and couples!! I'm not surprised, but I just avoid most of that. I'm too busy to gossip. Lol! | |||
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"You can forgive if you want to. However, the relationship is changed forever. It will require effort from the cheater to rebuild trust. Possibly couples therapy. Every case is different. Actions have consequences. Some people don't want to work on their relationship, they just want to satisfy their own desires, regardless of consequences. Some people can't trust again, so they end things. All too true in many cases, it’s always their desires that come above anyone else’s. Shame as many relationships could be much better if both parties learnt how to talk to each other instead of looking for the nearest easiest cock or pussy " Talk when we have been told to keep a stiff upper lip for the last century or so? There are people on Fab who even hate these topics and only want to talk about sex...not real life. It's all a fantasy for them to escape real life. Most men think talking emotionally is weak. The women are afraid to speak up in case of looking like a nag.... We've been socially conditioned not to say anything in most situations, so why would we say anything in a relationship? Crap boss? Put up with it and just do your job. Overbearing friend? Bend over backward to accommodate them because "they mean well". Elderly parents who treat you like a child? You have to accept it because it's family and blood is thicker than water. Nope I opted out of that. Hence the Maverick. If I'm not happy, people will be told directly. If they don't stop doing the thing that's making me unhappy or come to a compromise, I remove myself. Cheating and hiding it never comes into my mind. Most people tend to put up and shut up until it's too late. | |||
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"No. I don’t eat from the rubbish bin " Excellent. Lol! But some people are starving so....sadly. Dumpster diving they go. For some people, the 5-second floor rule applies. Lol! | |||
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"Another point that has sprung to mind is how cowardly a cheater is, they chose the easy option of finding someone else either for an affair or for a sex session when they haven’t got the mental emotional intelligence to sort the route of the problem that made them cheat in the first place. " Cheaters are lacking in several areas of intelligence. 1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): they literally think that they won't get caught. Fail on logical reasoning and probability analysis. 2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): Uses sex for emotional regulation and emotional validation. Fail on empathy for others. 3. Social Quotient (SQ): Lacks interpersonal communication skills. Fails on building lasting relationships, moral awareness (who are you potentially hurting not rules) and navigating family group dynamics. Willing to destroy the main social group of a family to cheat. 4. Adversity Quotient (AQ): lack of resilience to emotional or mental discomfort. Fail on cheating due to stress and unexpected life challenges. Intelligence in cheaters? Lol! 
I have my own deficits but I have enough logic, resilience and social awareness to know that cheating is not going to solve me problems and it's going to create more problems...
But some people need to learn the hard way and some people never learn.
I can't imagine the strain on the heart of running around at age 67 lying to 6 different people. That's a practised habit and addiction. | |||
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"I think there are many variables as to why it happens and a lot of the times people cheat for a reason and I think to forgive and move past it, you might need to hold a mirror up to yourselves which is very hard to do. Pride and trust are really hard things to get over but in my experience, happy people rarely cheat. " There have been points in my life where I've been too depressed or stressed to even think about sex or cheating. Lol! I'd say there's more going on than just surface-level unhappiness. Multiple layers, levels, facets and factors making them do it. Some people only cheat when they are d*unk and high and can't even remember it. But if they are a substance addict.....
Pride....um I'm a naturist and pride is very very low on my list of priorities.
Trust...oh that one will get me every time. I don't trust easily...so you break it...don't be surprised if I go straight for the "delete, block and no contact" move. I have no problems involving the police and getting a restraining order if necessary....or moving 4000 miles away. I don't like adult humans like that. | |||
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"I am quick to lose feelings for someone these days, if you break my trust in any way, we're done and I don't mind letting you know " Facts!! | |||
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"You can. Much better to remove two strands of their hair every night whilst they sleep over a 12 month period so they start to resemble the baby head off Toy Story and then, just as they begin to realise you know what they did you can pack your bags and walk out the door swishing your lovely new pony tail butt plug from side to side." Cackle!  Do not give my crazy side arsenal. That needs to stay in its cage. | |||
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"I think you can forgive but you won't forget it. My ex cheated I've forgiven him we can be friends now and have been for years but he's my ex for that reason,he's forgiven but I haven't forgotten." Hi _earditall, yes, you are right there, you can forgive but you wont forget it, that is good you have forgiven him and how you can be friends too | |||
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I think once the trust is gone I just couldn’t move past that. I would make myself miserable and that’s no way to live. | |||
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"Honesty is an absolute non negotiable for me and cheating is lying 🤷♀️ For various reasons i will never accept deceit in any form" Hi storm, that is good you would never accept deceit in any form too | |||
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"I think it's less about forgiving and forgetting (or not) and more a question of whether you want to still know a person after you learn new things about who they are now. It applies to lots of things, not just cheating. As you go through life and make choices and people change or reveal more of themselves you're allowed to say no thank you to having them continue to hold a place in your life. You can forgive and move on in different ways. Who you were before cheating is gone. Can't go back or get back to that person." Love this, so true. | |||
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"Do we agree that men cheat more than women? What is the reason for this ?" Infidelity rates in the UK are nearly identical, according to what I was read. Apparently, Women are more likely to cheat due to emotional deprivation or relationship unhappiness. whereas men are more driven by feeling unappreciated, sexual dissatisfaction, or the desire for a thrill. Women predominantly cheat with friends, while men are more likely to cheat with work colleagues or strangers. | |||
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"Do we agree that men cheat more than women? What is the reason for this ?" There's not much difference in it. Younger generations have closed the gap significantly on older ones. I think the only defining factor that may apply would be post partum. You hear a lot of men talking about how their wife doesn't want sex after having a child, and while that can partially be down to the emotional stress, there's a lot of physical trauma for them to recover from in that period too, which means an unhappy man may cheat there, but the new mother won't have that option. But, there's really not much in it these days 💜 | |||
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"Do we agree that men cheat more than women? What is the reason for this ?" No I don’t agree with that, men and women are equally able to cheat as much as each other, it’s down to character not gender | |||
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"You can try to forgive. But by doing so you are basically giving them the option to do it again. " Yes, you are right there, you are giving them the option to do it again too | |||
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"Forgave one once and he continued to cheat. Never again " correct | |||
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"Would never forgive. Luckily none of my past partners cheated (as far as I know). I suppose it would be a step down if they did!" That is good you would never forgive too | |||
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"Cheaters cheat for a reason. Whatever way you sugar coat it, they deliberately went to someone else. A one off d*unken out of charecter is a forgivable mistake but repeating it, with the same person is not a mistake. Its a choice. Not an accident. "  | |||
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"My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with a so-called mate of mine. Someone sent me a video of them having sex together. I was devastated and couldn't forgive him for it. The trust as destroyed. I've never cheated on anyone in my life. When I decide to be in a relationship, I am entirely loyal to the guy I'm dating. I'd never have sex with anyone else, unless we decided to have an open-relationship. I know a story about a same-sex relationship is maybe not what you are looking for. I was just giving my take on it. " Doesn't matter the gender or orientation, the commitment, communication and trust are the same. You cheat, you break the bond built on trust and most never do enough to rebuild that trust. So it usually has to end. | |||
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"Absolutely not. Speaking from experience, the betrayal is devastating, especially when you're gaslit into thinking you're crazy, only for the truth to come out later. That they were fucking the slut who was "just friends". It's also just as heartbreaking when your husband asks for an open marriage because you're 8 months pregnant (or similar health constraint) and can't meet his sexual needs. At a time when you need love and support the most, being made to feel like you're not enough due to his inability to just put aside his sexual needs for a few months. Neither sitation was something I was able to forgive." I know a few pregnant and new mothers who cheated simply because they were not getting that support from their child's father. Despite being pregnant, they were able to find another man who fulfilled their emotional and sexual needs at the time when their child's father could not. The patriarchy assumes that women cannot be sexual while pregnant or breast feeding but there are many women who are. They've been lucky enough to not have a pregnancy or labour that damages their body so much to prevent sexual expression. That's why pregnant sex exists as a kink. What I do find is that people are unable to adapt how they have sex and physical intimacy according to their health and circumstances. Porn doesn't help either. So when they don't get the sex in the way they want, they cheat instead of adapting. | |||
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"Do we agree that men cheat more than women? What is the reason for this ? There's not much difference in it. Younger generations have closed the gap significantly on older ones. I think the only defining factor that may apply would be post partum. You hear a lot of men talking about how their wife doesn't want sex after having a child, and while that can partially be down to the emotional stress, there's a lot of physical trauma for them to recover from in that period too, which means an unhappy man may cheat there, but the new mother won't have that option. But, there's really not much in it these days 💜" My first husband badgered me for sex within weeks of me having a c-section despite being told by Dr not to have sex for at least 6 to 8 weeks. I swear he had it written in his calendar and 6 weeks on the dot he started making me feel guilty for not "meeting his needs"... despite having a baby who had severe reflux that landed them in hospital, sleep problems and post natal depression. All he gave a sh*t about was getting his dick wet. The worst situation I heard was some I know who had a severe birth injury so couldn't have sex and rather than being supported by her husband she found out he was fucking around on fab and then fucked a woman friend of his. No excuse in either situation for cheating. | |||
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"Damn I wish we had an edit button! I've been unfaithful to every man I've ever been with and always been forgiven... 😳 " You say that like it's a flex | |||
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"Here's an interesting angle. I have my own answer. Bear with me. Mrs N and I have been together for over 25 years. We met after leaving partners and both of us had cheated on our partners so we were not angels. I think we both learnt the pitfalls of cheating We were very honest with each other and I told her I was not ready to settle down and she agreed that it might be fun to swing so we did. As time progressed and we met more couples with Bi males I realised I was orally Bi and enjoyed sucking cock and I started dressing. I was very open with Mrs N about that too. She said it doesn't turn her on but she was happy for me to do it. So over the years I've cammed a lot and with her permission have met a guy or 2 and sucked them off in front of her, even met our black bull with me dressed. But here's the thing...... A lot of guys have asked to meet me and I have agonised as to whether I should or not. The problem for me is the guilt feeling after I cheated on my wife with women, so my question is if I met a guy without her knowledge, Is that cheating, My own answer is yes it is. What do other men think ? Can you rationalise it as not cheating. I don't know the answer for sure. The thing is I find it difficult to ask Mrs N's permission. I am a bit embarrassed by my need for Bi sexuality. I sometimes just have to grow some balls and organise it. Interesting dilemma isn't it." I think anything that you do with another person without your partners explicit knowledge or consent is cheating. That ranges from texting, having a profile on here, or having a physical relationship with someone. If you have to his it from them, then it’s cheating. | |||
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"I'm not going to judge other people for cheating as I have been with woman who have been married, there are many reason why people cheat. For a relationship of my own, especially on which is based on emotions, trust and respect there needs to be complete honesty about the type of relationship you want, lifestyle, sexual desires etc. If you enter a relationship and are truly open to each other sexual desire, emotional needs and truly have connection and respect for each other I see no reason to cheat. I have never cheated on any woman I've been in a relationship with and I pride myself on being honest and open, I simply have no reason to lie. If a partner had cheated on me and I will not explain details of my life on a forum, then its up to me to understand why this happened and learn from and move on with my life and not condemn the other person, they do not owe me anything other then to be the person they are, its not about me forgiving anybody but simply making better choices for myself. " I appreciate your perspective on honesty, but I must push back on the idea that there are 'many reasons' to cheat or that we shouldn't judge it. Framing infidelity as having valid excuses often minimises the deliberate choice to deceive. While you mention never cheating on a partner, admitting to being the 'other man' suggests you've benefited from the very dishonesty you claim to value, making your 'no judgment' stance feel less like empathy and more like complicity. For those of us who have faced this betrayal, cheating isn't a complex grey area; it's a clear violation of trust. Healing involves making better choices for ourselves, but that doesn't require accepting a cheater's actions as understandable or justified. We can move forward without validating the behaviour that caused us such pain | |||
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"I'm not going to judge other people for cheating as I have been with woman who have been married, there are many reason why people cheat. For a relationship of my own, especially on which is based on emotions, trust and respect there needs to be complete honesty about the type of relationship you want, lifestyle, sexual desires etc. If you enter a relationship and are truly open to each other sexual desire, emotional needs and truly have connection and respect for each other I see no reason to cheat. I have never cheated on any woman I've been in a relationship with and I pride myself on being honest and open, I simply have no reason to lie. If a partner had cheated on me and I will not explain details of my life on a forum, then its up to me to understand why this happened and learn from and move on with my life and not condemn the other person, they do not owe me anything other then to be the person they are, its not about me forgiving anybody but simply making better choices for myself. I appreciate your perspective on honesty, but I must push back on the idea that there are 'many reasons' to cheat or that we shouldn't judge it. Framing infidelity as having valid excuses often minimises the deliberate choice to deceive. While you mention never cheating on a partner, admitting to being the 'other man' suggests you've benefited from the very dishonesty you claim to value, making your 'no judgment' stance feel less like empathy and more like complicity. For those of us who have faced this betrayal, cheating isn't a complex grey area; it's a clear violation of trust. Healing involves making better choices for ourselves, but that doesn't require accepting a cheater's actions as understandable or justified. We can move forward without validating the behaviour that caused us such pain" I never said I haven't faced it so that would be an assumption, I simply don't give specifics of my life to strangers, As for reason, there could be health issues their husband/wife have which leaves them unable to communicate, abuse issued from a spouse or cultural. Life is not simply black and white and I will not. I have to right to judge other people and only if I have the full context can only agree or disagree with their decisions. I also have the emotional intelligence and I know my own worth not to carry the negative feelings around if they have cheated on me. I learn, I grow and I evolve, simple as. | |||
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"I'm not going to judge other people for cheating as I have been with woman who have been married, there are many reason why people cheat. For a relationship of my own, especially on which is based on emotions, trust and respect there needs to be complete honesty about the type of relationship you want, lifestyle, sexual desires etc. If you enter a relationship and are truly open to each other sexual desire, emotional needs and truly have connection and respect for each other I see no reason to cheat. I have never cheated on any woman I've been in a relationship with and I pride myself on being honest and open, I simply have no reason to lie. If a partner had cheated on me and I will not explain details of my life on a forum, then its up to me to understand why this happened and learn from and move on with my life and not condemn the other person, they do not owe me anything other then to be the person they are, its not about me forgiving anybody but simply making better choices for myself. I appreciate your perspective on honesty, but I must push back on the idea that there are 'many reasons' to cheat or that we shouldn't judge it. Framing infidelity as having valid excuses often minimises the deliberate choice to deceive. While you mention never cheating on a partner, admitting to being the 'other man' suggests you've benefited from the very dishonesty you claim to value, making your 'no judgment' stance feel less like empathy and more like complicity. For those of us who have faced this betrayal, cheating isn't a complex grey area; it's a clear violation of trust. Healing involves making better choices for ourselves, but that doesn't require accepting a cheater's actions as understandable or justified. We can move forward without validating the behaviour that caused us such pain I never said I haven't faced it so that would be an assumption, I simply don't give specifics of my life to strangers, As for reason, there could be health issues their husband/wife have which leaves them unable to communicate, abuse issued from a spouse or cultural. Life is not simply black and white and I will not. I have to right to judge other people and only if I have the full context can only agree or disagree with their decisions. I also have the emotional intelligence and I know my own worth not to carry the negative feelings around if they have cheated on me. I learn, I grow and I evolve, simple as. " Pulling out the 'spousal illness' or 'abuse' card is a bit of a deflection, isn't it? Even in those proper tough spots, the decent thing to do is end the relationship or get help, not sneak around. And calling it 'emotional intelligence' to just brush off the hurt? That sounds more like avoiding the mess than actually dealing with it. Real maturity is owning up to the damage caused, not pretending it's all just a complex grey area because you don't want to feel bad. Saying you need 'full context' before judging is a convenient get-out clause; it basically means you never have to admit that helping someone deceive their partner is properly wrong. | |||
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"I'm not going to judge other people for cheating as I have been with woman who have been married, there are many reason why people cheat. For a relationship of my own, especially on which is based on emotions, trust and respect there needs to be complete honesty about the type of relationship you want, lifestyle, sexual desires etc. If you enter a relationship and are truly open to each other sexual desire, emotional needs and truly have connection and respect for each other I see no reason to cheat. I have never cheated on any woman I've been in a relationship with and I pride myself on being honest and open, I simply have no reason to lie. If a partner had cheated on me and I will not explain details of my life on a forum, then its up to me to understand why this happened and learn from and move on with my life and not condemn the other person, they do not owe me anything other then to be the person they are, its not about me forgiving anybody but simply making better choices for myself. I appreciate your perspective on honesty, but I must push back on the idea that there are 'many reasons' to cheat or that we shouldn't judge it. Framing infidelity as having valid excuses often minimises the deliberate choice to deceive. While you mention never cheating on a partner, admitting to being the 'other man' suggests you've benefited from the very dishonesty you claim to value, making your 'no judgment' stance feel less like empathy and more like complicity. For those of us who have faced this betrayal, cheating isn't a complex grey area; it's a clear violation of trust. Healing involves making better choices for ourselves, but that doesn't require accepting a cheater's actions as understandable or justified. We can move forward without validating the behaviour that caused us such pain I never said I haven't faced it so that would be an assumption, I simply don't give specifics of my life to strangers, As for reason, there could be health issues their husband/wife have which leaves them unable to communicate, abuse issued from a spouse or cultural. Life is not simply black and white and I will not. I have to right to judge other people and only if I have the full context can only agree or disagree with their decisions. I also have the emotional intelligence and I know my own worth not to carry the negative feelings around if they have cheated on me. I learn, I grow and I evolve, simple as. Pulling out the 'spousal illness' or 'abuse' card is a bit of a deflection, isn't it? Even in those proper tough spots, the decent thing to do is end the relationship or get help, not sneak around. And calling it 'emotional intelligence' to just brush off the hurt? That sounds more like avoiding the mess than actually dealing with it. Real maturity is owning up to the damage caused, not pretending it's all just a complex grey area because you don't want to feel bad. Saying you need 'full context' before judging is a convenient get-out clause; it basically means you never have to admit that helping someone deceive their partner is properly wrong." Understand reason is not deflection, judging without any context is is a superficial and lack empathy and fairness and it would be easy to say that a moral judgement is an easier get out clause as this give you some sort of moral high ground. If its due to cultural reason, its not so easy simply to end a relationship. You do not have my life experiences or outlook on life and you may have a more emotional charge about the subject so perhaps lets agree we both have opinions on the issue and move on. That's all I need to say on the subject. | |||
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"Not been in that position but if a partner did I think I’d have to put her over my knee and spank her to see just how apologetic she could be "Exactly this. Me and Mrs had a falling out for a week last summer. Turns out she got fucked by a big cocked fab lover almost every day. Meeting up in his van for horny outdoor sex. She confessed when we got back together, she went over my knee, panties to one side, sparked her arse red raw whilst inserting my fingers in to her. Made her tell me all the details whilst I did it, then I put her on the living room rug on her back, legs spread wide like she did for him and filled her cheating cunt full of cum. | |||
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"Not been in that position but if a partner did I think I’d have to put her over my knee and spank her to see just how apologetic she could be
Exactly this. Me and Mrs had a falling out for a week last summer. Turns out she got fucked by a big cocked fab lover almost every day. Meeting up in his van for horny outdoor sex. She confessed when we got back together, she went over my knee, panties to one side, sparked her arse red raw whilst inserting my fingers in to her. Made her tell me all the details whilst I did it, then I put her on the living room rug on her back, legs spread wide like she did for him and filled her cheating cunt full of cum."Blimey…. As long as you’re happy 😂 | |||
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"Nah cheating is proper snide and I think do it once they will do it again. Thankfully we get the extra marital fun we want together which has just enhanced our relationship but if a partner isn't into the lifestyle then either suck it up if you love them or leave " Exactly this 😘 | |||
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"Not been in that position but if a partner did I think I’d have to put her over my knee and spank her to see just how apologetic she could be
Exactly this. Me and Mrs had a falling out for a week last summer. Turns out she got fucked by a big cocked fab lover almost every day. Meeting up in his van for horny outdoor sex. She confessed when we got back together, she went over my knee, panties to one side, sparked her arse red raw whilst inserting my fingers in to her. Made her tell me all the details whilst I did it, then I put her on the living room rug on her back, legs spread wide like she did for him and filled her cheating cunt full of cum.
Blimey…. As long as you’re happy 😂"We both were and although I don’t class it as proper cheating I was still madly turned on about it | |||
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