FabSwingers.com forum: Have you ever changed your mind?

By *froVybes OP Man
1 week ago

Essex

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
1 week ago

East Sussex

Nope. First impressions are frequently your subconscious picking up tells

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By *oastofReadingMan
1 week ago

Reading

I have changed my mind in the past.

Maybe it's just how they have taken their photos or something but when I've bumped into them in a club and chatted, they have been totally different to my perception of them from their photos and words.

It's really hard to judge people based on a profile or few photos. But we all do it.

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By *iver78Man
1 week ago

barton upon humber

Many many many times 🤣 same as In real life ,

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By *orphia2003Woman
1 week ago

Tonypandy.

On a few occasions.

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By *issmorganWoman
1 week ago

Yorks

Yes. A man I went on to meet regularly, I wasn't sure he'd be for me. He kept trying, we had a social and got on like a house on fire.

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By *froVybes OP Man
1 week ago

Essex

"I have changed my mind in the past.

It's really hard to judge people based on a profile or few photos. But we all do it.

That's exactly why I try not to judge too quickly. Some people are terrible at selling themselves online but have amazing personality and chemistry in person.

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By *heron ShanMan
1 week ago

Durham

No, If I find someone attractive and would like to get to know them, from the beginning.

I'm shit at reading signal so I sometime assume they have changed their minds.

This is one of the reasons I don't like simple messaging.

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By *agneto.Man
1 week ago

Bham

Profiles are just profiles. Can’t tell for sure till you meet someone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
1 week ago

East Sussex

On real life I've changed my mind about people many times and not always in their favour

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By *eroLondonMan
1 week ago

Mayfair

A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.

From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.

The above are exceptions, however.

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By *onny PetersonMan
1 week ago

Harrogate

More often the other way round - the profile is eye-catching and attractive then in the chat/messages there is no chemistry and we clearly don't click. I try not to waste anyone's time in such circumstances.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
1 week ago

Isle of Man

Naa generally exclusively the other way round

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By *ealitybitesMan
1 week ago

Belfast

My first instincts are usually spot on but a few times I've started chatting to someone I thought was on the same wavelength only to discover after a few messages that they were completely unhinged.

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By *earditallWoman
1 week ago

Lancaster

First impressions usually stick although some people have grown on me where others I've come to dislike after initially thinking they were hot.

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By *froVybes OP Man
1 week ago

Essex

"A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.

From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.

The above are exceptions, however. "

Sounds like you've had a few pleasant surprises.

Do you think deep conversations reveal compatibility, or do they just make people more attractive?

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By *eroLondonMan
1 week ago

Mayfair

"A couple of times but that's when they've messaged me first. I don't go by photos alone because they don't tell you the whole story, nor do I take what they've written on their profile as gospel.

From experience their true personality, quirks and traits emerged from deep and meaningful conversations.

The above are exceptions, however.

Sounds like you've had a few pleasant surprises.

Do you think deep conversations reveal compatibility, or do they just make people more attractive?"

•

I would say both. Attractiveness isn't just visual. I mean it is, undeniably, but it's just one facet.

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By *cott45hullMan
1 week ago

Hull

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By *cott45hullMan
1 week ago

Hull

I mean yes 😂

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By *froVybes OP Man
1 week ago

Essex

"First impressions usually stick although some people have grown on me where others I've come to dislike after initially thinking they were hot."

I can relate to the second part. Personality has a way of either amplifying attraction or completely killing it. Looks only get someone so far

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
1 week ago

North Somerset

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

No. Because if I/we have thought someone is 'not for me' then we'd not reach the chatting stage

Do people actually start chatting to profiles that they don't find interesting or attractive?

Seems odd to me. 🤷‍♂️

Obi

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By *issBellaWoman
1 week ago

Town

No but I've had it the other way around on several occasions.

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By *aven.Woman
1 week ago

I've thought a few were utter knobs before to then go on to meeting them.

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By *anielandSKCouple
1 week ago

Oxfordshire

Not really because we haven't met loads of people to really compare.

We have met great people then later found their profiles to be less impressive than them, but for those people, they are life of the party at clubs and socials and are doing just fine with meeting people and having fun, so probably don't need to use the profile to meet.

We have been also told at all the socials we've been to that we're basically doing a terrible job with our online profile, and people we're (pleasantly) surprised to meet us IRL... We're mostly ok with that as we want the detail in the write up (as it lessens wasted time messaging - proven to work) and we don't want too revealing pictures, more just to give a flavour of us.

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By *sm265Woman
1 week ago

Perthshire

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

I'm very unlikely to be chatting to them at all if the profile didn't appeal to me in some way.

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By *froVybes OP Man
1 week ago

Essex

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?

No. Because if I/we have thought someone is 'not for me' then we'd not reach the chatting stage

Do people actually start chatting to profiles that they don't find interesting or attractive?

Seems odd to me. 🤷‍♂️

Obi"

Fair point. I suppose the difference is between "not attractive" and "not interesting". For me, attraction can grow once I've got to know someone's humour and personality, whereas a profile only tells part of the story

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By *illwillwooMan
1 week ago

leeds

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

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By *froVybes OP Man
6 days ago

Essex

"Not really because we haven't met loads of people to really compare.

That's made me rethink the whole point of a profile. Maybe the best profile isn't necessarily the one that gets the most attention, but the one that attracts the right attention and filters out the people you're unlikely to click with. I actually quite like the idea of leaving a little mystery for the real-life meeting. 😉

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By *i de BiCouple
6 days ago

Lower Normandy

If the past we used to attend socials in the Midlands, the list of attendees was always on the forum.

Always had a browse to see who might take our fancy to chat / meet . Also who to avoid lol .

But we struck up a great connection with a couple and after the social looked at their profile and though we would never of met them just from that . We have been friends now 20 years

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By *inja 636Man
6 days ago

Grays

Theres hope for me still

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
6 days ago

Sunderland

No, once I make a decision that's usually it. I use 'notes' to remind me of why it was a 'nope'

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By *adJennyWoman
6 days ago

Cougar Village

"Nope. First impressions are frequently your subconscious picking up tells "

That 100%

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By *rinceless PrincessWoman
6 days ago

Nope. I have however changed my mind after talking with someone for ages only to meet them socially to find out they were not who they came across as online.

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By *ssexlad36!Man
6 days ago

Hullbridge, Essex

I dont think ive had to, I only message people that I want to or that I regularly chat with, I do believe that people can be different online to in person so would always be cautious!

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By *hickthighs-26Woman
6 days ago

the land of vagina

No. I have loads of times the other way around though. Twats that have just got twattier

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By *ardJuicyCouple
6 days ago

Bexley

I always say you should never judge a book by its cover,and how the hell can you know if you'll like an individual or couples just by looking at a screen for christ sake.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
6 days ago

Here. There.

I like the audacious assumption inherent in the question that I might, possibly, vaguely, by the tiniest of margins, be ‘wrong’.

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By *iver78Man
6 days ago

barton upon humber

I have thought someone is is a knob via text o ly to meet them and find there actually ok , text messages can often come across odd , iv had a few occasions when iv met someone and they have said im nothing like they thought I was judging by my text , I use emojis a lot because my mates say they can never judge my my mood over texts . But its worked the other way too 🤣 especially one lady who sounded so sweet and cheerful over messages and even over the phone and she was " horrible ' in real life lol

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By *reen as JadeCouple
6 days ago

Cheshire

I was close to meeting a nice older guy, he was going to get a hotel and everything planned.. I read more of his verifications and found out that he was bi. He said that he was straight, I was so upset as I don't want to meet bi guys and especially not if they say that they are straight. I told him and deleted him💋

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By *eyeYCouple
6 days ago

Nr Leicester

Yes, both ways!

Eg, a couple we were not overly interested in online.. Met at an event and got on famously, both in the bar and playroom 😉😈

And a couple who'd played with friends (who told us they were hot and 'introduced' us online) theoretically exactly our type..

Met them at another event and they bored us senseless. Made our excuses and got promptly blocked 🤷😉

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
6 days ago

South East

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

We have changed our minds multiple times, after meeting someone in person. We only play in clubs and don’t pre arrange meets with guys from her, there have been many a time we’ve been messaged and thought no thank you, only to see them in person and actually play with them.

We’ve also met a couple of people in a club early on including couples who we didn’t find attractive straight way. Then we see them publicly playing and our perception 100% changed. Watching a couple having sex or being involved in group play is so hot to watch and for us, sometimes it makes them incredibly attractive, where we didn’t think that before.

This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate.

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
6 days ago

South East

"On real life I've changed my mind about people many times and not always in their favour "

This is also true, we have seen profiles and thought wow if we ever meet them, then we need to try and play with them, then seen or spoke to them in person and just thought, god no

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
6 days ago

South East

We have also played with people, normally guys at a club and gone to give them a veri. When looking at their profile, have thought that had we not met them in a club, we 100% would not have met them from looking at their profile.

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By *froVybes OP Man
6 days ago

Essex

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?

This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate. "

Great example of how attraction isn't always instant. Sometimes you need to see the person in their element before you realise they're actually your type.

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By *he MinionMan
6 days ago

Surrey

I met a couple at a social who I had previously thought, yeah, we'd get on but in reality it was just a no. He was an absolute dickhead but she was still hot though 🤣

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By *eyeYCouple
6 days ago

Nr Leicester

"I met a couple at a social who I had previously thought, yeah, we'd get on but in reality it was just a no. He was an absolute dickhead but she was still hot though 🤣"

Been there! 🤷

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
6 days ago

Chichester

"I met a couple at a social who I had previously thought, yeah, we'd get on but in reality it was just a no. He was an absolute dickhead but she was still hot though 🤣"

Yes I have met people and then after a while just stopped , said it’s not for me left Things can just zone me out quickly with some people.

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By *ornyguy666Man
6 days ago

Nottingham

Sometimes if 1st impression bad then hardly been 2nd occasion

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By *ools and the brainCouple
6 days ago

couple, us we him her.

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

A number of years ago we had a chap message a few times,Mrs wasn't really interested, until at a social one time he introduced himself and found he was a bloody great guy and ended up being a regular player mate.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
6 days ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Yes. I've seen profiles that have been very impressive, but then gotten chatting and discovered that they're racist or whatever and gone right off them.

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
6 days ago

South East

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?

This is why we don’t bother meeting from here anymore and only play in clubs, much higher success rate.

Great example of how attraction isn't always instant. Sometimes you need to see the person in their element before you realise they're actually your type."

100% which is why we don’t meet guys from here because in our experience, meeting guys in person and having a choice it’s much more successful

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
6 days ago

Worcestershire

Nope if we don't get the vibe from the profile its a non starter

We've had the reverse where we liked the profile and started chatting then changed our minds as they turned out to not be the person we thought

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By *aughty234Man
6 days ago

Manchester

Yeah ...it's life with many bends and corners in it

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By *nvader2021Couple
6 days ago

Watford

We have tbh… were chatting to a guy on here and it wasn’t really progressing so we said no. He persevered in a good way and I said yes - ended up having a great threesome with him and hubby

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By *eekySweetheartWoman
6 days ago

Hampshire

No because I wouldn't chat with them if I didnt like their profile! There has been guys at clubs I've met that I would have never have met had i read their profile as they came across so different in real life!

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By *hilled SamMan
6 days ago

Reading

I find intelligent conversation goes a long way, you know they’re switched on and aren’t going to mess about

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By *ister MeanerMan
6 days ago

Manchester

My mind has a weird “3 strikes and I’m out” rule, I can be vibing with someone and see how the conversation goes no matter the first impression as it can sometimes be a subjective bad first message, but the second I hit 3 on things that either I’m not sure about or don’t agree with, then I’ll just wish them a good one and halt the conversation.

Maybe a little shallow? But equally if there are quickly 3 clangers that knock the conversation off the tracks then it’s probably best not to invest anymore time with each other.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
6 days ago

Castlebar

Have you ever looked at someone's profile and thought "not for me"... only to completely change your mind after chatting with them?

What changed it? Personality? Humour? Intelligence? Chemistry?

Or do first impressions usually stick?"

Yes actually twice. Recently took a chance on a spontaneous coffee meet with someone I'd discounted and he was super hot 🔥 🥵

I was just bored at home and he messaged at the right time 🫣

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By *otwifecouple1004Couple
6 days ago

Cardiff

My first impression on here is granite.

Never changes.

In person it can and does change alot. Sometimes good and sometimes for the worse

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By *hitehorsefunCouple
6 days ago

Wantage

Ha, that's how we ended up together. She said I wasn't her type, we got talking about that and then I was here type and still am. Apparently. Of course, there may have been another added attraction which she didn't know about but then did.

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By *froVybes OP Man
6 days ago

Essex

"Ha, that's how we ended up together. She said I wasn't her type, we got talking about that and then I was here type and still am. Apparently. Of course, there may have been another added attraction which she didn't know about but then did. "

I love your second sentence "my type" haha

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By *mudgermanMan
5 days ago

kirby

Ive had a few meets were in there profile, and whilst chatting they seem compatable but when face to face its a different story, and up there own arses. So i decided nothing was going to happen. As a male im not desperate.

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By *tlanshiaWoman
5 days ago

Chatham

Only once and I’m being shown why I shouldn’t lol

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