FabSwingers.com forum: is it double standards

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Coming from another post and I didn't want to hijack that one. I've noticed that many singles, male and female seem to say that if they were in a committed relationship they wouldn't want to share.

that they would want to be the only one... Yet the same people state they are looking to play with couples.

I have played as a loving couple and I know it certainly wasn't due to something lacking. I play as a single and sometimes now as a play couple.. but I know that if I ever got into a relationship that while we would of course mostly play together I would have to have someone that accepted that side of me.

So just wondered why people that won't share their own partner want to share others..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on that one and I don't say I meet couples

I don't have double standards and only meet through this site because my situation means I can't date in a conventional way - but I still have needs

I do know where you are coming from though

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'd cross that bridge when I got to it but I certainly wouldn't be opposed to sharing. By the same token would I give up dipping in and out of the swinging scene if I met someone who wasn't interested? The answer to that is yes. It has to be a two way thing or what's the point? However, I never hide who I am and this is part of me. I have a lot of great friends I've made over the years and I still spend time with them. If he couldn't accept that then I dare say he wouldn't be right for me.

Good thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was ever going to enter a relationship now it would be a bonus if they didnt mind sharing

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

No its preferences again surely.

Are you saying that everyone who signs up on here has to share any partner they may have because other wise it's not fair? Should people be forced into swinging for fear of being called a hypocrite?

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

Well I have only been on the swinging scene as a single and have played with both couples and other singles.

I am in this scene as a single and to have fun as a single, to experience some fantasies as a single and to just meet other like-minded people.

Would I swing with a partner I was in a committed relationship with? I honestly don't know and have never really thought about it.

I don't even know if I see swinging as a 'side of me' as you put it, or even if I see it as a lifestyle or a long term thing. I'm just going with the flow and having fun right now (although the 'right now' seems to have lasted a good few years now). If the right guy came along that I would want to commit myself to then who knows. I would like to think that the right guy for me would also have the same attitude to sex as I do.

I don't think it's double standards if singles say they wouldn't swing with a committed partner. I just think maybe they see it as fun they have as a single and that's it. It doesn't mean they see anything wrong with committed couples who do swing.

Oh god I can ramble on. Not even sure what I just said makes sense! But I know what I mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would share as its in my nature lol

I see the difference in sex and love easily

perhaps those that just see the sex side of sharing as...er...sex

in a relationship it can be different especially if its based on love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We got into this as a couple and only play as a couple. I have no idea how I'd be if I was ever single again. I probably wouldn't want to swing, not for a while anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No its preferences again surely.

Are you saying that everyone who signs up on here has to share any partner they may have because other wise it's not fair? Should people be forced into swinging for fear of being called a hypocrite? "

no.. just that their seems to be the belief that couples have something lacking if they share.

I would never give up playing.. but then I also don't intend to get into a relationship.. I just think that some singles seem to have the attitude that it's okay to play with others but if they really loved each other they wouldn't play..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you met someone who satisfied your every needs and the sex was that good then maybe you wouldnt want to meet anyone else.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

"No its preferences again surely.

Are you saying that everyone who signs up on here has to share any partner they may have because other wise it's not fair? Should people be forced into swinging for fear of being called a hypocrite?

no.. just that their seems to be the belief that couples have something lacking if they share.

Well as single, I know plenty of lovely and loving couples from the scene. I definitely don't think they are in this because they are lacking something in ther realtionship, and I have never thought that. I see it as couples who already have a strong, loving, trusting relationship see this is just a bit extra to their already great sex life.

If couples were in this because they were lacking something, I don't think they would last very long!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if you met someone who satisfied your every needs and the sex was that good then maybe you wouldnt want to meet anyone else."

I had that... but to satisfy me in every way they would have to be into this lifestyle. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its preferences again surely.

you said it for me :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say each to their own

To your own self be true

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I say each to their own

To your own self be true

that is true... It's just something I've noticed over many years in this... To be honest it is something more guys have said to me that they couldn't share their missus etc. Yet are wanting to share others. It is more the tone and reasoning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on that one too but I only meet single men on this profile. I did however meet a couple on a previous profile. They were one of the nicest couples I could have wished to meet and the wife obviously had no problem sharing her husband at all, it turned her on. The meet went really well and a good time was had by all.

I was the one who had a problem with it not them. I just felt very uncomfortable for want of a better word, right at the start of the meet, only for about five minutes and then the occasional moment during the meet. It's not put me off meeting a couple again possibly in the distant future but it's not something I'm looking for now.

As for sharing if I met someone and was dating, I know I could never do it. I just couldn't watch my man with another woman and would never expect him to watch me with another man. We're all different and I know a lot of couples on here have singles profiles too and I'm in no way judging anyone but it wouldn't be for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to those that have posted.

I guess I can't imagine not sharing a partner.. as I love to look up and see them enjoying...

I don't think it's wrong to have preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my hubby doesnt mind me meeting other men or looking at my pictures but he doesnt want to get involved, he said he might feel jealous if he was in the same room as me and another man, not sure if i believe him.

i thought it would be fun for us both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a issue I'm ever going to face, I'm enough to please any woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was in a relationship I don't know if I'd want to share or not. I am however happy to say I have many other double standards. Possibly contradictory to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have swung as part of a couple and obviously as a single woman now im single. I have to be honest and say I prefer swinging as part of a couple. Im not looking for a partner right now and enjoying myself, but if I were to meet someone I think it would have to be someone open to the idea of swinging as I really get off on watching and sharing a partner. X

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think it is a simple answer....some people can't play these games with their loved ones and some can.

Having group sex with virtual strangers is totally different than wanting to watch a loved one with someone else, so I would say it isn't double standards.

Of course if someone said " I wouldn't let anyone have my partner as I would lose all respect for them but I don't mind doing someone elses parnter" then I think that is different and is double standards.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"If I was in a relationship I don't know if I'd want to share or not. I am however happy to say I have many other double standards. Possibly contradictory to each other.

Haha!! I have a whole lot of those too! Glad I'm not alone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I was in a relationship I don't know if I'd want to share or not. I am however happy to say I have many other double standards. Possibly contradictory to each other.

Haha!! I have a whole lot of those too! Glad I'm not alone!

Me three

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... So just wondered why people that won't share their own partner want to share others... "

Feeling threatened, I guess. But I think it's double-standards. I particularly despise single guys, who are happy to join a couple for MMF, but when they get their own female, they suddenly think that single guys are 'scum'. Do they not remember that they were a single guy, not so long ago?

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I think it's also worth pointing out that in most cases, couples who swing have been together for a long time so knew each other very intimately before they took up the lifestyle.

The majority of singles may only have experience of being in a monogamous relationship so have never really been in the situation where their partner was into swinging. They would therefore need the time to build up a strong relationship before having the trust/intimate knowledge to consider swinging with any new partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all down to trust for me I suppose. It took me a long long time to decide to meet a couple.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"No its preferences again surely.

No one should be forced to do anything they don't want to... but it can often make me wonder what brought them to a swinging site when they disagree with the very ethos of it.

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