FabSwingers.com forum: Should you forgive your ex?

By *hagTonight OP Man
1 day ago

From the land of haribos.

Even get together again? I added the even get together again bit. I read a post about it and the replies there was mixed, like depending on the situation, if they cheated or if it was a silly argument, one might get over it and could forgive, the later more so.

I agree that it depends on how it ended, one might be able to forgive a silly argument more than if one cheated, how one deals with the breakup and forgiveness is a deeply personal choosing and it depends how you can live with it and carry on, there could even be a glimmer of hope to get together again after the forgiveness if the feelings are mutal and both are single, or as the saying goes, the ex is an ex for a reason.

Did you know that there are 6 signs it isnt over yet? They are:

1. You have had time apart.

2. Change is possible.

3 .Your friends and family approve.

4. You want the same things.

5. You felt loved when you were together,

6. You are ready to forgive.

It would be interesting to see what your views of it is, should you forgive your ex and even get together again, have it happened to you, if so, did you forgive your ex and what happened afterwards? Or is an ex an ex for a reason.

I dont have an ex, but I think I could forgive a silly argument because it would give you peace more than anything else and you could move on too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ysteriousGirlOGWoman
1 day ago

Manchester

I don't believe forgiveness is for your benefit, its a way of making the other party feel better about their behaviour. I don't need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on my life.

Moving on is different though, that's your own responsibility. Having the ability to let things go and not let it project on your life further is the key to moving forward.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynamicnatureMan
1 day ago

Doncaster

I don't have anything to forgive my ex for, we simply had enough of eachother.

We're still very much good friends, Which is great for co parenting our child.

Would I ever want to get back?

No thanks, 😊

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubforfandcoupleMan
1 day ago

pontardawe

Don't think so. My ex cheated on me , fall in love with her boss, trust is broken. Never will be the same...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
1 day ago

Crumpet Castle

I believe forgiveness is important for the self.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.

Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.

BUT

I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowupdollTV/TS
1 day ago

Herts/Leeds

People do not change. It’s a myth that they do.

Forgiveness is for ourselves not them. I no longer hold it against you is really I no longer carry it with me.

If you return to where you were you will need to leave again. Or another way, that which harmed you will not heal you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovebjsMan
1 day ago

Bristol

Forgiveness is easy! Forgive forget don’t let it eat you up! Going back ? Is a bit harder and I have never gone back to an ex! They are usually an ex for a reason

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esYesOMGYes!Man
1 day ago

Didsbury

"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.

Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.

BUT

I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "

That’s a great quote. Not forgiving is toxic, like drinking poison as an act of revenge. Real forgiveness is understanding why they did shit to you. Self respect is never welcoming that shit from them again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle miss sunshineWoman
1 day ago

south sheilds

Considering he was toxic af and I have hooked with him since and he's still toxic af no I won't forgive him 17 years together. And walking away was the best decision that I ever made. plus he never liked my life style choices.

I couldn't ever go back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
1 day ago

Leeds

My ex's have done nothing wrong for me to forgive. Still very good friends with all but one x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
1 day ago

Tonbridge

My ex-wife is one of the most dreadful human beings I have ever met, so it's a hard no from me. Luke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
1 day ago

Crumpet Castle

Part of the problem for me is that people buy into the social constructs of monogamy and believing you should only have one partner for life.

Some short relationships were highly successful

Some lifetime relationships were lifetimes of shit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy-RedWoman
1 day ago

pink panther territory

I forgive my ex for cheating on me I realised our marriage hasd became a sham

Il never forgive him for turning his back on his kids though,he should have been there for his daughter when she needed him the most

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vaRoseWoman
1 day ago

Ankh-Morpork

Not even If the world was flooded with piss and he lived in a tree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ANiCURETV/TS
1 day ago

Winchester

Would you forgive a sociopath? ... he didn't 🥲

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
1 day ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Forgiveness is a personal thing nothing to do with the other person, but you need to forgive if you were considering getting back together

People can change, but it's very rare.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hagTonight OP Man
23 hours ago

From the land of haribos.

"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.

Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.

BUT

I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "
Hi, that is good you believe in forgiveness, that is right, it does not mean you take them back, yes, it is important for the self too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iver78Man
23 hours ago

barton upon humber

I believe in forgiveness, people makes mistakes ,( regarding relationships) but I wouldent ever go to an ex , whatever the reason you split up with them for would raise its head , im really good friends with an ex who cheated but I realized that we were very different people , as friends we get on great as a couple not so great , I was away a lot and she needed more simple as that , at the time it was terrible but on reflection it's for the best

The knob who upset my mum , now that's a different matter lol been 20+ yrs and I would still do unspeakable to things to him if I ever met the prick lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
23 hours ago

Chichester

I don’t need to forgive as I am just detached from that point so my feelings on the matter or no longer exist. Logically it’s of relevance anymore to me and has no value or advancement to my life to have feelings linger. I am an extreme cut and done mentally person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
23 hours ago

Wales

You can forgive but unfortunately you never forget.

If a fella is my ex then he is an ex for a reason, whether there is anything to forgive or not. It’s done, I’m over it, move on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imon_hydeMan
23 hours ago

Stockport

It's depends on the 'why', I will never forgive my ex wife for the way she treated our son. But other than that I'm a great believer in forgive but not necessarily forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r snuggles 62Man
22 hours ago

Chelmsford

A relationship is built on trust I loved my partner and still loved her after she cheated but I didn't trust her I ended it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
22 hours ago

Calderdale innit

Nope. They're an ex for a reason, why would I want to go there again?.

As for forgiveness, I don't really think of him nowadays, so don't care either way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *4bimMan
22 hours ago

Farnborough Hampshire

never forgive.

opens the door to them talking to you again and thats a weakness they will pounce on and end up manipulating you.

its over for a reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avrick180Man
22 hours ago

Pontypool

No defo not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heJam84Man
21 hours ago

Manchester

They say it’s bad to cheat and I say I would never do it but what if your partner doesn’t give as you want, if they don’t know.

If a gorgeous lady had chemistry with you and wanted you then could it be bad.

If I was away and didn’t know about it then i wouldn’t care. It would probably make me wanna know how I can get better at it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *peedyGMan
21 hours ago

Telford

I got back together with an ex years ago, things great again at first but obviously the reasons we spilt were still there and the inevitable happened.

Lesson learnt, don't go back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oblynMan
21 hours ago

Millbrook

Reading through these replies has extinguished the faint glimmer of hope I've been nursing for the past year.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hagTonight OP Man
20 hours ago

From the land of haribos.

"I don't believe forgiveness is for your benefit, its a way of making the other party feel better about their behaviour. I don't need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on my life.

Moving on is different though, that's your own responsibility. Having the ability to let things go and not let it project on your life further is the key to moving forward. "
Hi mysterious, that is good you dont need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on your life, yes, moving on is different, yes, that is the key to moving forward too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hagTonight OP Man
20 hours ago

From the land of haribos.

"I don't have anything to forgive my ex for, we simply had enough of eachother.

We're still very much good friends, Which is great for co parenting our child.

Would I ever want to get back?

No thanks, 😊"
That is good you are still very much good friends, yes, it is good for co parenting too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iggingMan
20 hours ago

Oldham

Im one of those who have forgiven but will never forget..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aked beachMan
19 hours ago

Just A Stranger In A Strange Land.

Funny you posted this, I went to my ex on Sat evening to drop a couple of bits off that we bought jointly but she wanted. Nice chat catching up a bit, but the spark that was there has gone for me. I’ll happily chat to her should she message, but that’ll be it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mileyculturebelfastMan
19 hours ago

belfast

Yeah forgive them but dont forget. No point harbouring grudges and bad feeling. Youre the only one suffers for it.

Dont go back. Ever. Your ex is an ex for a reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vonne5exMan
18 hours ago

Doncaster

I've never felt anything against them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Effy-Woman
18 hours ago

Scotland

No you should poke them in the eyes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vonne5exMan
18 hours ago

Doncaster

"No you should poke them in the eyes."
doesn't it sting in your eyes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Effy-Woman
18 hours ago

Scotland

"No you should poke them in the eyes.doesn't it sting in your eyes?"

I'm a good ex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eximus MaximusMan
18 hours ago

Up North

That would be hard seeing as they’re all under the patio

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouplususCouple
18 hours ago

Cheshire

No to going back with my ex - I might send a message (not an actual message) to their partner hoping that the sex has improved though 🤭

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erdyHollyTV/TS
18 hours ago

In a galaxy far far away

I got divorced 7 years ago but neither of us did anything bad. We simply fell out of love with eachother and it was like living with a friend.

We are still friends to this day and talk regularly although it's mostly when she's asking to borrow money

But we wouldn't get back together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xSirenaxxWoman
17 hours ago

"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.

Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.

BUT

I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "

Totally agree with this. Will never take my last ex back but I want absolutely to never see or hear from them again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
17 hours ago

North Somerset

Forgive? No.

Forget and move on? I have several times.

Obi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gent CoulsonMan
17 hours ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Forgive, when hell freezes over

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issBellaWoman
16 hours ago

Flintshire

Each to their own. But I've had to explain to my daughter today that she does have a dad, but he withdrew all responsibility of her when he walked away when she was only 2 months old.

Trying to put that in simple terms to a three year old is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Watching her beautiful little face crumple with confusion.

So no, I will never forgive him for turning his back on her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BW_BiWoman
16 hours ago

BIRMINGHAM

Absolutely not, they were very toxic and caused me a mental breakdown so really not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arierWoman
16 hours ago

birmingham

My ex was a nasty piece of work. He passed away a few years ago and I still don’t feel any forgiveness or empathy towards him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinstrapMan
16 hours ago

sheffield

Nope not ever....best thing she did was to give me my life back. Never Been happier.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *outhLondonSmileMan
16 hours ago

London

Never. And never go back for ExSex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
16 hours ago

Carlisle usually

An ex is an ex for a reason.

If I decided it was time to break up, I'd decided it was done for good.

If they decided it was time to break up and changed their mind, they obviously don't think things through enough for us to be compatible long term 💜

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rWolf619Man
16 hours ago

Derbyshire

I don't think it's generally a good idea, and I'm saying that as someone who feels lucky to even have a chance of a romantic relationship. To me the critical thing is that people change. The ex you had 5 years ago isn't the same person now and neither are you. I had a phase after each breakup where I asked that question, "would I get back together if they asked?" And I knew I was ready to move on when I could honestly say no to it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tormQueenWoman
16 hours ago

All over the place

My most recent Ex? Caused me a great deal of pain and confusion but ultimately i dont think is a bad person just emotionally impotent. I could forgive, but would certainly never go back

My ex husband is the father of my kids and they love him. If he ever took accountability for half of the problems in our marriage I would forgive him in a heartbeat for my kids benefit. Its never going to happen though because his entire personality now appears to be based on the fact that his evil ex wife ruined his life🤷‍♀️ And I absolutely wouldnt touch him with someone elses 🤣🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *025IncomingMan
16 hours ago

Co.Antrim

Most recent one, absolutely not. I stayed too long for the sake of my daughter, big mistake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tillNewbiesCouple
16 hours ago

Manchester

So I actually bumped into my family recently and we had a good old chat. Hadn’t seen him for about 10 years and it was kinda nice to close the book on a good note x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ydaz70Man
15 hours ago

Rotherham /newquay

Not a f ing chance if it ever turns up on my door step I want be able to stop the carnage I'd leave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obbo2022Man
15 hours ago

top of little hill near bishop

i gave my ex wife another chance.

after she cheated on me.

only for the same thing to happen with my best mate.

yeah i was daft enough to sleep with her after her relationship broke up.

but now definitely better off with out the toxic relationship in my life.

ex for a reason

move on

life is too dam short

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hamallamadingdongMan
15 hours ago

London

Actions have consequences. There is a risk with every choice. Choose your risk. Some couples make it work, some don't. Forgiveness is up to the person who has been wronged. The person who did the wrong thing has to acknowledge what they did and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Accountability is important. Relationships are complicated.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hagTonight OP Man
14 hours ago

From the land of haribos.

"My ex's have done nothing wrong for me to forgive. Still very good friends with all but one x"
Hi sparkle, that is good your exs have done nothing wrong for you to forgive and how you are still very good friends with all but one ex too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lternative lifestyleCouple
7 hours ago

Louth

Ex for a reason, move on in body mind and soul. Remove them completely from your headspace, they were a bad mistake, forgive yourself thats it and forget they existed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlettsWoman
7 hours ago

Harpenden

Depends what they did I guess same as forgiving anyone.

As a lot of people have said they are an ex for a reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dammahoCouple
6 hours ago

Ashton-under-Lyne

I'm begging my love of life to take me back, iv fucked up asin not seen what as right there in front of me, right about the nest thing thst ever happened to me.

I really hope she can forgive me. I hope to marry her and make her the proudest woman on earth for standing by me through thick and thin. Through it all, not sure u can do life without her. She's my world, ET I LOVE YOU WILL ALL MY HEART AND SOUL, take me back beautiful. I'll be the best of the best. You don't need any of the rest. Mwaa. Granny n gramps, I need her, you know I can be that guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hellebelleWoman
6 hours ago

ashford

I forgave (but couldn’t forget) him twice but eventually after the 3rd time I caught him cheating I just couldn’t allow him to do it to me anymore… I needed to put my own feelings and mental health first and show him the door.

I told him I would have respected him far more as a man if he had just been honest and not wove a web of lies and deceit that literally had me thinking I was going mad.

So lesson learnt the hard way for me.. and in this instance the leopard certainly didn’t change his spots.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dammahoCouple
6 hours ago

Ashton-under-Lyne

Iv not cheated. Been a dick and wasteful time used on bad habits. Only rabbit I want is my beautiful lady back, to build a stronger than ever team, real team, with no thinks. Lots of time to waste over sinething that has now stopped. Both ends.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornucopiaMan
4 hours ago

Bexley

Reading this thread has taught me how lucky us perfect ones are!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dammahoCouple
4 hours ago

Ashton-under-Lyne

Can't live if living is without you. 4 4 4 19

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread