FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Male privilege….

Jump to newest
 

By *otopaxi OP   Man
7 days ago

nostalgia

So, this is probably not what you’re expecting….

I saw a post on ‘the gram’ by a very sensible person commenting on dating apps and how the vast majority of men that complain about never getting any matches are just seeing the reverse of ‘male privilege’ the rest of society has felt in everyday life for ever and a day….

This obviously made me think of here and how it is very interesting to see the volume of complaints from (let’s be fair mostly) guys, when the shoe is objectively on the other foot…..

It was obviously put faaaaar more eloquently than I just have. But, yea…

Discuss…. 🍿

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
7 days ago

Hove, mainly…

It’s almost always men moaning about not getting meets. Dunno why, it doesn’t change things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xSirenaxxWoman
7 days ago

SW

It’s not really a “reversal of male privilege” — it’s just women having the freedom to choose and to say no thanks.

Fab and dating apps make that really visible because of the numbers: more men on the apps + women being rightly selective = fewer matches for a lot of men. But that isn’t women taking something away from men, it’s just them having the right to decide who they do and don’t want to engage with.

No one is owed attention, replies, or meets. Women filtering heavily isn’t some kind of imbalance — it’s a normal response to having options and considering what theybwant and their own safety.

So it’s less about “privilege flipping” and more about people exercising their own autonomy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agic.MMan
7 days ago

Kent/London

The only type of privilege (when it comes to dating) is pretty privilege...and that's for both sexes. I get "sufficient" matches on dating apps, and messages from women on fab...am I privileged because I'm a man or privileged because I'm a good looking ( in the eyes of the beholder) ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
7 days ago

Reading

I don't think it's the reverse of male privilege? Men still operate on dating apps largely without fear for their physical safety or fear from stalking/harassment. They still are unlikely to be called horrifying names only thrown at women.

But because of the number of men and the amount of attention women do get, we are then in a position to have to wade through the matches (or if we're talking about fab) wading through our inboxes and making these decisions, which men typically don't have to do.

So, where is the benefit to women? If we're still at risk of physical harm, stalking, harassment. And we do all the unpaid labour of filtering out potential matches.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
7 days ago

Carlisle usually

Male privilege is the system of social, economic, and cultural advantages or rights that are automatically granted to men simply for being male.

Not getting enough responses from hot bitches on tinder is not a reversal of male privilege. It's a specific, isolated market dynamic rather than a shift in structural societal power.

Men on apps frequently experience a scarcity of attention, but women frequently experience an overwhelming volume of low-quality attention, unsolicited explicit media, and aggressive behavior. We're in a different position, but not necessarily a better one 💜

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *estructionDollyWoman
7 days ago

Manchester


"It’s not really a “reversal of male privilege” — it’s just women having the freedom to choose and to say no thanks.

Fab and dating apps make that really visible because of the numbers: more men on the apps + women being rightly selective = fewer matches for a lot of men. But that isn’t women taking something away from men, it’s just them having the right to decide who they do and don’t want to engage with.

No one is owed attention, replies, or meets. Women filtering heavily isn’t some kind of imbalance — it’s a normal response to having options and considering what theybwant and their own safety.

So it’s less about “privilege flipping” and more about people exercising their own autonomy."

Agree with this take

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cFlirtyMan
7 days ago

Alton

I don't understand why guys moan so much! It is clear of the imbalance between ladies and gents. Ladies fo get more abuse thrown at them and that is just wrong, I was speaking to a lovely lady here just yesterday and she told me she had been talking to a guy for a while, and he kept pestering for a meet, when dhe politely declined she got loads of abuse! Its shocking but only too true! A lady once told me I was "too chunky" for her taste, I said fair enough, coz I'm not stick insect 🤣🤣🤣

Guys have to accept the freedom of choice, and lets face it, it works both ways but there is no need to pitch about it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cFlirtyMan
7 days ago

Alton

Or bitch🤣😂🤣😂

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mf123Man
7 days ago

with one foot out the door

Wont somebody think of the penis

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iver78Man
7 days ago

barton upon humber

Tbh iv never had a problem getting matches on dating sites , bit due to my lifestyle and the fact I am quite fussy as well as being very honest about what I'm looking for the conversation tend end quite early

As with site its a dating etc is a women's world due to the amount of men compared to women , and if you looking for a automatic car you wouldent bother looking for a manual !! Unless your not fussy , so I'd rather meet someone who I know is genuinely intrested in me and just happy to settle for what is available

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
7 days ago

Mayfair

I have less regard or care for male privilege. Let's first sort out and make good on the imbalance that women experience in every day life, in regards to the fundamental stuff that we men are oblivious to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r SensualMan
7 days ago

London

If more people spent less time trying to connect with others on apps or sites, and more time actually being outside in real life all this just wouldn’t really be a thing.

How ironic I’m saying these very words through a site 🤣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *antana79Woman
7 days ago

Edinburgh

I’ve been on dating sites and I much prefer fab as men are in the most part more respectful (70/30).

My experience on dating sites has been shocking and actually put me off dating. So yes to all men , I’d say look at yourself and what you need to work on before dating. Us women have for a very very long time x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oundtightCouple
7 days ago

Manchester

Male privilege probably contributes to the disparity - men are safer (physically and socially) when being promiscuous so there's a lower barrier to entry and participation.

Also, women aren't really in a position of privilege on Fabs or other sites/apps. They sort of enjoy more choice, but they also have to sift through a lot more unserious profiles (because of the lower barrier to entry for men) and have to mitigate their relatively higher risks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *KTim61Man
7 days ago

Tipton

I'm not complaining, but with me I wish I'd found this site a Lot sooner,than I did, as with me it's my Age 65 that maybe against me now ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *KTim61Man
7 days ago

Tipton

I'm not complaining, but with me I wish I'd found this site a Lot sooner,than I did, as with me it's my Age 65 that maybe against me now ? Oh & maybe my body size as I'm not that well built

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *007ManMan
7 days ago

Worthing


"If more people spent less time trying to connect with others on apps or sites, and more time actually being outside in real life all this just wouldn’t really be a thing.

How ironic I’m saying these very words through a site 🤣"

Good post and sums up what I think. More luck in real life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r SensualMan
7 days ago

London


"

Good post and sums up what I think. More luck in real life."

Cheers. It’s reassuring to know others are on the same wavelength of thinking as me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oundtightCouple
7 days ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 05/06/26 13:20:55]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reachersdaughterWoman
7 days ago

someplace

Also, a lot of men don't take care of themselves or make any effort yet expect a 10/10 to fall at their feet. Then they complain about not finding anyone lol. The irony is that many of them wouldn't even consider dating a woman who put in the same amount of effort as they do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
7 days ago

Coventry

I don't see it as reverse male privilege. More just the logical conclusion of the society we've shaped. Especially now that men and women have choices that society never used to grant them, especially women. So I see two main factors here:

First (especially in terms of dating), we don't have the same presures, expectations or survival needs to be married off by such date. Its far more socially accept and possible pragmatically to be single and/or not stay in a relationship which is no good. Which mean men and women can afford to be picky.

Second (more relevant to hook ups and causal darting), female promiscuity seems to play out differently. I suspect that is not that women are less sexual it's more the influence of judgment, expectations and (probably mostly) the real/perception of risk. Society wise we generally still judge and denounce female promiscuity, yet often celebrate male promiscuity. Women are still held by society to a different standard and carry most of the blame and shame. Plus women face more risks. Which make them far more cautious and if you look at the crime statistics relevant to this subject they have ever reason to be. Then of course there is still the pregnancy risk too. No contraceptive is perfect and stealthing is still going on. The risk is simply different for a male vs a female. If a woman gets pregnant she's stuck with a child and the man can just fuck off. So I would say there's many reasons why female promiscuity generally plays out different from male promiscuity. It effects women's sense of freedom and their risk calculations in ways that it doesn't for men. This difference most demonstratively plays out on here when you look at ratio's of single females to single males.

So when you look at both factors women both have more freedom to wait for the best option and more importantly given their risks is vital to make the juice worth the squeeze.

As a side note I don't necessarily see less people getting together as bad per se. Because I think there are a lot of men and women who are bad dating propositions. Not that their necessarily bad people in themselves. Just that they haven't got enough self awareness, life experience or have tackled their own toxic traits (we all have them). I just think there's a lot of people out there who need to work on themselves as individuals first before serious dating.

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agic.MMan
7 days ago

Kent/London


"I don't think it's the reverse of male privilege? Men still operate on dating apps largely without fear for their physical safety or fear from stalking/harassment. They still are unlikely to be called horrifying names only thrown at women. "

If I may (and don't mean to be condescending in any way) ...but I'm not sure how women being on dating apps would put them in a position of lower physical safety (that can mostly happen when there's a face to face meet, after the match), but women simply being on an app (which is what the OP was talking about...aka matches)- I don't see how there's a correlation to lack of physical safety (although I would love to understand the situation better from a woman's perspective). Stalking and harassment...again it's mostly if there's a physical meeting prior, or if we're talking about online stalking, that can only happen if your app is showing personal information (such as Instagram, or if you offer contact details). If you mean that once there's a match and an official meet has happened, the woman is now facing a potential safety risk, if the man is not what she thought he was, than yes, I agree with you...but I don't understand why someone simply being on a dating app (man or woman) would pose a safety risk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
7 days ago

Carlisle usually


"I don't think it's the reverse of male privilege? Men still operate on dating apps largely without fear for their physical safety or fear from stalking/harassment. They still are unlikely to be called horrifying names only thrown at women.

If I may (and don't mean to be condescending in any way) ...but I'm not sure how women being on dating apps would put them in a position of lower physical safety (that can mostly happen when there's a face to face meet, after the match), but women simply being on an app (which is what the OP was talking about...aka matches)- I don't see how there's a correlation to lack of physical safety (although I would love to understand the situation better from a woman's perspective). Stalking and harassment...again it's mostly if there's a physical meeting prior, or if we're talking about online stalking, that can only happen if your app is showing personal information (such as Instagram, or if you offer contact details). If you mean that once there's a match and an official meet has happened, the woman is now facing a potential safety risk, if the man is not what she thought he was, than yes, I agree with you...but I don't understand why someone simply being on a dating app (man or woman) would pose a safety risk."

Okay. Existing on a dating app poses very little safety risk for any gender. Engaging with people on there is when the risk increases.

If you don't share any personal details or contact information, you remain reasonably safe. How much can you connect with someone to know who they are and if they are safe without disclosing any personal or identifying information?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agic.MMan
7 days ago

Kent/London


" Okay. Existing on a dating app poses very little safety risk for any gender. Engaging with people on there is when the risk increases.

If you don't share any personal details or contact information, you remain reasonably safe. How much can you connect with someone to know who they are and if they are safe without disclosing any personal or identifying information?"

Are you asking about my personal experience? Because it's probably very different to the one of a woman (and possibly other men). I would not know how safe someone is until I have spent significant time with them (in their physical company and experiencing various scenarios together). I personally don't disclose any personal information until I actually known them and went on a few dates...I can tell someone what I do for work without telling them where exactly I work...I can tell someone where I live without telling them my exact address. These apps offer real time chatting, phone calling, video calling...and even if I decided to move the conversation to a different app, I would choose something like TG (where my personal information is hidden). I also don't really do social media...so me personally I keep things very safe, and can get to know someone to a certain degree without requesting personal information...and once I have met them face to face, and feel comfortable around them, I can share more...and than the second meet I share even more...and on and on - it's also how I operate on fab

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
7 days ago

Carlisle usually


" Okay. Existing on a dating app poses very little safety risk for any gender. Engaging with people on there is when the risk increases.

If you don't share any personal details or contact information, you remain reasonably safe. How much can you connect with someone to know who they are and if they are safe without disclosing any personal or identifying information?

Are you asking about my personal experience? Because it's probably very different to the one of a woman (and possibly other men). I would not know how safe someone is until I have spent significant time with them (in their physical company and experiencing various scenarios together). I personally don't disclose any personal information until I actually known them and went on a few dates...I can tell someone what I do for work without telling them where exactly I work...I can tell someone where I live without telling them my exact address. These apps offer real time chatting, phone calling, video calling...and even if I decided to move the conversation to a different app, I would choose something like TG (where my personal information is hidden). I also don't really do social media...so me personally I keep things very safe, and can get to know someone to a certain degree without requesting personal information...and once I have met them face to face, and feel comfortable around them, I can share more...and than the second meet I share even more...and on and on - it's also how I operate on fab"

So that involves meeting them in person, before you're willing to share personal information, for your safety, as a man.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ackformore100Man
7 days ago

Tin town

Privelage doesn't come into it. It's people finding some other people attractive based on their advert... Or not. It's life. Nothing Privelaged about it. If you're 6 ft tall or well hung or handsome or have curly hair it's not privelage.. It's people being different and what nature equipped you with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top