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Just out of a long term relationship.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Often see new profiles on Fab with " Just out of a relationship so looking to explore some fantasies "

I do get where these people are coming from but for me if i had just split from a long term partner i would not be jumping on to a swinging site lol !!

So i guess the question is do you think swinging is good for someone that has just come out of a long term relationship and could it have a negative impact on them and the people they potentially swing with ??

Discuss lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would leave things for a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I would hide in a corner somewhere for a while and think things over

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I did I had/have a huge sex drive and coming out of a sexless marriage i was gaging for a good shag and was pointed in the direction of fab. That was 5 years ago....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did I had/have a huge sex drive and coming out of a sexless marriage i was gaging for a good shag and was pointed in the direction of fab. That was 5 years ago.... "

Lol i appreciate there are exceptions to the rule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont see anything wrong with it, depends on the person. just as long as there not too bitter and twisted, keep moaning about their ex partner, or comparing everyone they meet to the person who was the love of their life.

i would much rather meet someone who is more experienced though, i think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just come out of a relationship and I don't bleat on about it or slag them off in public, I just get on with enjoying myself and living my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "

it certainly is

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "

Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the reason I joined, and have had lots of fun and met some lovely people. But would definitely swap this life for my old life. But I don't think it's had a negative effect, if anything it's had a positive effect and built my confidence right back up to how I used to be, before the breakup.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?

Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting "

Yeah sorry... I'm feeling indignant this morning after reading something else, apologies if that was harsh.

I guess it helps to know that when you come here, you generally know what's on offer and it can remain uncomplicated. My brain is fried and my heart is broken so getting too involved is not something I want. But we all have needs right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?

Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting

Yeah sorry... I'm feeling indignant this morning after reading something else, apologies if that was harsh.

I guess it helps to know that when you come here, you generally know what's on offer and it can remain uncomplicated. My brain is fried and my heart is broken so getting too involved is not something I want. But we all have needs right? "

Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.

My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??

I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of putting to much emphasis on what other people get out of swinging or whether a swinging lifestyle compliments their individual circumstances or not ….

Some people just enjoy having casual sex without needing to self analyse the motive behind the feel good factor they get from it ….

Anyone just out of a relationship will be experencing mixed emotions so perhaps the distraction of swinging is not such a bad thing for those who can handle our lifestyle...

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.

My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??

I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc "

Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am.

I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know.

Shit I've been all honest again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.

My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??

I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc

Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am.

I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know.

Shit I've been all honest again. "

Thats really cool and really glad you are able to realise all that nad make an informed decision

Happy swinging lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's just sex. A break up can leave you fragile but you still need to go to the loo, have your hair cut, eat and attend to other bodily requirements and this is all no strings attached right? Or is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's good for some.. bad news others. I when I split waited to play but the social side of this world is great.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's good for some.. bad news others. I when I split waited to play but the social side of this world is great. "

Yeh agreed, sometimes the warmth, caring and compassion of strangers can be a good thing ( on a social level )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came out of a relationship two months ago, albeit, not a long long term one. I then reopened my account here on fab, I'd kept it hidden, just to use the forums for chatting with friendly people and for the humour. However, rarely used it whilst we both we're trying the relationship out, as that felt a little like cheating, and not giving my all, so it was forgotten about.

Anyway, things never worked out, and I opened up the account, after about two months, I've started using the forums again, as they are great for some laughs and giggles, but I've yet to have a meet since coming back. For me it was a case of being patient, not rushing things, and even though any meets would be for a purely fun basis, I didn't want the rebound kind of effect, I don't think that would have made for great meets. Straight after the relationship, companionship and maybe even the odd cuddle were more important, So I got that from my mates. I'm glad I took my time, until the whole relationship break up is cleared in my mind, and now it's a case of bring on the fun! hee hee, just need to get rid of single guy syndrome

I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own

I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I suppose it depends on the timescale....maybe they have got over the relationship and then joined the site for NSA sex.

I don't see anything wrong with that, it gives them what they want without having to have another relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.

My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??

I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc

Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am.

I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know.

Shit I've been all honest again. "

This makes perfect sense to me, well put!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I suppose it depends on the timescale....maybe they have got over the relationship and then joined the site for NSA sex.

I don't see anything wrong with that, it gives them what they want without having to have another relationship. "

Actually , maybe it doesn't matter about the timescale if you are looking for just fun. I can't see anyone joining five minutes after being dumped/dumped someone anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "

But you're an habitual trollop- not that i'm judging you though- tis one of the reasons we've been mates for so long

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Often see new profiles on Fab with " Just out of a relationship so looking to explore some fantasies "

I do get where these people are coming from but for me if i had just split from a long term partner i would not be jumping on to a swinging site lol !!

So i guess the question is do you think swinging is good for someone that has just come out of a long term relationship and could it have a negative impact on them and the people they potentially swing with ??

Discuss lol "

I avoid such profiles like the plague. The people are generally morose, bitter, more baggage than the cargo hold of a Thomas Cook jet to Tenerife in August and able to suck fun out of the atmosphere!

Turning to sites like this to be ignored is not good for already damaged egos. If they have the charisma to get meets sex with strangers soon becomes demoralising for some and not good meets.

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By *allDarkFoxForYouMan
over a year ago

Winchester/London


"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since "

Blimey! I trust that there's no kids or pets stuck at home waiting for food and drink this past month ?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I came out of a relationship two months ago, albeit, not a long long term one. I then reopened my account here on fab, I'd kept it hidden, just to use the forums for chatting with friendly people and for the humour. However, rarely used it whilst we both we're trying the relationship out, as that felt a little like cheating, and not giving my all, so it was forgotten about.

Anyway, things never worked out, and I opened up the account, after about two months, I've started using the forums again, as they are great for some laughs and giggles, but I've yet to have a meet since coming back. For me it was a case of being patient, not rushing things, and even though any meets would be for a purely fun basis, I didn't want the rebound kind of effect, I don't think that would have made for great meets. Straight after the relationship, companionship and maybe even the odd cuddle were more important, So I got that from my mates. I'm glad I took my time, until the whole relationship break up is cleared in my mind, and now it's a case of bring on the fun! hee hee, just need to get rid of single guy syndrome

I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own

I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you

"

You have summed this up beautifully.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since

Blimey! I trust that there's no kids or pets stuck at home waiting for food and drink this past month ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Often see new profiles on Fab with " Just out of a relationship so looking to explore some fantasies "

I do get where these people are coming from but for me if i had just split from a long term partner i would not be jumping on to a swinging site lol !!

So i guess the question is do you think swinging is good for someone that has just come out of a long term relationship and could it have a negative impact on them and the people they potentially swing with ??

Discuss lol "

depends why you split, not everyone are sad about breaking up

when I split with my ex it was one of the best days of my life and swinging didn't affect me at all, if you loved your ex when you split and was hurt over it I would suggest taking some time before trying this

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect.

Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion!

Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?

But you're an habitual trollop- not that i'm judging you though- tis one of the reasons we've been mates for so long "

Yeah I guess having been round here for the last seven years means I know about the lurking trollops!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male here.Slightly different here but many years ago when I finished a long term relationship I decided to have some fun and slept around a bit and got a real thrill out of it and a massive confidence boost. This was also before discovering swinging if I had had access to a site like this back then I would have jumped right in with both feet as I didn't want to share my life with anyone else at that point but did enjoy the physical encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I came out of a relationship two months ago, albeit, not a long long term one. I then reopened my account here on fab, I'd kept it hidden, just to use the forums for chatting with friendly people and for the humour. However, rarely used it whilst we both we're trying the relationship out, as that felt a little like cheating, and not giving my all, so it was forgotten about.

Anyway, things never worked out, and I opened up the account, after about two months, I've started using the forums again, as they are great for some laughs and giggles, but I've yet to have a meet since coming back. For me it was a case of being patient, not rushing things, and even though any meets would be for a purely fun basis, I didn't want the rebound kind of effect, I don't think that would have made for great meets. Straight after the relationship, companionship and maybe even the odd cuddle were more important, So I got that from my mates. I'm glad I took my time, until the whole relationship break up is cleared in my mind, and now it's a case of bring on the fun! hee hee, just need to get rid of single guy syndrome

I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own

I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you

You have summed this up beautifully. "

Thank you for saying so, I can only give my own interpretation, but the OP has posted an interesting question that's been relevant to me, and I'm sure many others

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

[Removed by poster at 20/06/13 11:39:44]

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I wouldn't judge anyone who had that on their profile, but I would avoid as there maybe some excess baggage I wouldn't want any part of.

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By *ptimum trajectoryCouple
over a year ago

gloucester

when a relationship breaks, i think this offers up a great opportunity to be introspective about your own personal journey. i think the time between a 'break up' and 'moving on' is dictated largely by the inderviuals conscious starting point(ie.the damage caused by the end of a relationship) ,some people have a lot of work to do and others are more cognitively lucid. This is why we think a good social before anything else is essential(for us at least). To us the NSA and Fun aspect of all of this goes out the window if anybodies lives are negatively impacted by our actions. So just to clarify we are not judging other people infact we're not really concerned with what others do unless our paths cross, your business is your business,but if people think that swinging is some kind of sexual panacea then someone on a 'rebound' may not make for a good meet but can only be assessed on a case for case basis. we can only urge people to know them selves well enough to avoid a meet that's going to be tarnished with negative issues. personally we think that honesty is the key, if you are honest with yourself you'll know if your doing the right thing and honest with the people who you socialize/play with will minimize the risk of there being repercussions.

disclaimer: this works for us and may not work for you either way your statutory rights will not be affected!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"when a relationship breaks, i think this offers up a great opportunity to be introspective about your own personal journey. i think the time between a 'break up' and 'moving on' is dictated largely by the inderviuals conscious starting point(ie.the damage caused by the end of a relationship) ,some people have a lot of work to do and others are more cognitively lucid. This is why we think a good social before anything else is essential(for us at least). To us the NSA and Fun aspect of all of this goes out the window if anybodies lives are negatively impacted by our actions. So just to clarify we are not judging other people infact we're not really concerned with what others do unless our paths cross, your business is your business,but if people think that swinging is some kind of sexual panacea then someone on a 'rebound' may not make for a good meet but can only be assessed on a case for case basis. we can only urge people to know them selves well enough to avoid a meet that's going to be tarnished with negative issues. personally we think that honesty is the key, if you are honest with yourself you'll know if your doing the right thing and honest with the people who you socialize/play with will minimize the risk of there being repercussions.

disclaimer: this works for us and may not work for you either way your statutory rights will not be affected!

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"when a relationship breaks, i think this offers up a great opportunity to be introspective about your own personal journey. i think the time between a 'break up' and 'moving on' is dictated largely by the inderviuals conscious starting point(ie.the damage caused by the end of a relationship) ,some people have a lot of work to do and others are more cognitively lucid. This is why we think a good social before anything else is essential(for us at least). To us the NSA and Fun aspect of all of this goes out the window if anybodies lives are negatively impacted by our actions. So just to clarify we are not judging other people infact we're not really concerned with what others do unless our paths cross, your business is your business,but if people think that swinging is some kind of sexual panacea then someone on a 'rebound' may not make for a good meet but can only be assessed on a case for case basis. we can only urge people to know them selves well enough to avoid a meet that's going to be tarnished with negative issues. personally we think that honesty is the key, if you are honest with yourself you'll know if your doing the right thing and honest with the people who you socialize/play with will minimize the risk of there being repercussions.

disclaimer: this works for us and may not work for you either way your statutory rights will not be affected!

"

Well said

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

may i add to all this .

last year when my ex ran off with another

woman and then divorced me .he kept saying to me going on a dating site and look for someone it will help you thru it .

so after a while i did met a guy dated him for 4 mths and when that not work out dumped him and went back on another site and when my membership ran out came on here ,i had been a swinger with my ex so by doing this i've met some nice

people and go to clubs so it gets me out of the house.that way i can have the company of men but not a realtionship and all the problems that go with it been that hurt cant trust men ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They do say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since "

Can't you find the exit or are you having so much fun you don't want to leave ?

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Took me about 9 months to get over it... So I guess everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Absolutely 100% down to each individual and their circumstances.

And clearly some people are more emotionally stable than others therefore find it easier to move on quicker.

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

It may work for some, it's getting back on a bike after the accident - without having to buy the bike - though they may be rather wobbly at first.

I left a looong gap between the break-up and here (4 years).

In retrospect I should have done it sooner but months rather than weeks.

We're all different and sometimes we pretend to bravado. We seek out the pusses of being single and persuade ourselves we'll have fun.

Sometimes we do

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

That's pluses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the reason I joined to be honest, but it isn't like I set up a profile the next day or anything.

I just missed the sex and intimacy but enjoy being single (concentrating on my own life out a bit more). It is hard to meet women 'out and about' who want a similar relationship and I don't really fancy just being a douche so this seemed like a reasonable option.

Maybe I've got it all wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the reason I joined to be honest, but it isn't like I set up a profile the next day or anything.

I just missed the sex and intimacy but enjoy being single (concentrating on my own life out a bit more). It is hard to meet women 'out and about' who want a similar relationship and I don't really fancy just being a douche so this seemed like a reasonable option.

Maybe I've got it all wrong!"

Sounds like ya got it sorted to me pal

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I think it depends on the relationship and the breakup. I was married for 10 years walked away and was absolutely top form.....could have gone down the nsa route no issue. I could have gone straight into a relationship for that matter..My head was clear

ended a relationship 19 months ago and was a very different story. I was a mess and my sex drive plummeted too so would not have contemplated fab at that point.... Took me a while to get my head round surviving let alone anything else...

so every break up is different...

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