FabSwingers.com forum: Should you go through your partners phone?

By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

I read a post about how someone didnt want her partner to look through her phone, she said how they got into a big argument over it, she also mentioned how it wasnt cheating and said how she felt an invasion of her privacy to check things like her messages and pictures.

It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?

I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too

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By *evilinDavina1Man
7 days ago

Bristol

You should respect people's privacy. If there not honest with you then there phones the least of your worries. It would be nice if everyone was honest.

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By *vaRoseWoman
7 days ago

Ankh-Morpork

[Removed by poster at 03/06/26 07:26:23]

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
7 days ago

Herts/Leeds

I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.

I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t.

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By *vaRoseWoman
7 days ago

Ankh-Morpork

I regularly get my husband to check things for me on my phone, and vice versa. We know each other’s passcodes, and neither of us would think twice about handing our phone over if the other needed something.

For me, the difference is trust and intent. Giving access because it’s convenient and practical, is one thing. Demanding access because you don’t trust your partner, or feeling the need to monitor them, is another entirely.

Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do.

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By *pTheDale40Man
7 days ago

Coventry

Got to respect privacy. If you’re hiding something though I’m a firm believer that the truth will come out eventually

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By *verageHoesCouple
7 days ago

Bessacarr

Quickly using a partner's phone in their presence to look up the weather? Fine. "Going through" a partner's phone? Absolutely not fine. I have conversations with friends and family on there with private information about their lives which isn't mine to share. I have my therapy notes. I don't share that with anyone.

If someone feels moved to delve into someone's private space for some sort of reassurance or evidence gathering then there's no trust, and, ultimately, a very poor relationship foundation.

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By *nmyknees69Man
7 days ago

Rushden

I have absolutely no issue of my partner going through my phone. I have her pass number and also the pass number of my ex gf. They both have my number.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
7 days ago

Brum

No.

But it’s fine to sniff test their underpants.

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By *ysteriousGirlOGWoman
7 days ago

Birmingham

The second you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble. If someone is doing something they shouldn't, no amount of monitoring is going to change that.

Save your peace and walk away.

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By *ourpornfixMan
7 days ago

East Cheshire

A friend was married to a man who turned out to be controlling and psychologically abusive. He would go through her phone and point out anything that he thought was "wrong". Don't go there!

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"You should respect people's privacy. If there not honest with you then there phones the least of your worries. It would be nice if everyone was honest. "
Yes, you should respect peoples privacy too

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By *arkspur9Couple
7 days ago

London

If you don't trust some one you shouldn't be together.

No amount of going through thier phone or spying on them will make you trust them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
7 days ago

Central

It's a private place for someone, until they consent to give access. Respecting boundaries is essential and healthy. I'm single and would question anyone who felt the need to be intrusive and controlling

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By *rispy KremeMan
7 days ago

wolves

My partner knows my password and I know hers we both know we have noting to hide from each other. But we never go through each others phone. We used each others phone all the time to Google stuff or what ever. Healthy relationship means no reason to sneak about

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By *ew cpl 666Couple
7 days ago

pontefract

No it just shows that you don’t trust the other person

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By *abulincsCouple
7 days ago

near a bridge

We have nothing to hide from each other at all crack on have a butchers

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By *ino200Man
7 days ago

Bournemouth,london and Sienna

"I read a post about how someone didnt want her partner to look through her phone, she said how they got into a big argument over it, she also mentioned how it wasnt cheating and said how she felt an invasion of her privacy to check things like her messages and pictures.

It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?

I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too

"
You let the government do it why not your partner

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By *issmorganWoman
7 days ago

Calderdale innit

I gave nothing to hide, so if he wanted to look, no issues.

I don't check his either, we both have profiles here.

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By *actile TensionMan
7 days ago

Sussex

If you feel the need to check their phone, there's a problem.

If you're not willing to offer up your phone for scrutiny, there's a problem

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"I regularly get my husband to check things for me on my phone, and vice versa. We know each other’s passcodes, and neither of us would think twice about handing our phone over if the other needed something.

Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do."
Hi eva, that is good how you regularly get your husband to check things for you on your phone, yes, you are right there, the difference is trust and intent too

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By *estructionDollyWoman
7 days ago

Manchester

That scenario sounds like a form of monitoring and control which is absolutely not okay and deeply unhealthy within a relationship.

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By *an ClioCouple
7 days ago

Boston

No. Never do that. You don't always like your partner and vice versa. That doesn't mean you don't love them, but sometimes that irritating knut will wind you up. You might want to express your disapproval to get it out of your system, but you don't want them to know about it. If that knut knew, they would probably do it even more.

You don't need to know what porn they watch, or if they are shagging one of your relatives. This isn't a soap opera, it is real life. If they are still with you and so annoying you could scream, then life is going ok. If they check your phone they might find out what you are up to and you don't want that. Siphoning off all that cash to a secret account in case of a rainy day might not look so good. That knee trembler over the beer barrels from 20 years ago that their distant cousin reminds you about every now and then isn't going away. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

Get yourself a burner phone. One for baking powder and tinder dates. One as clean as a nuns knickers filled with photos of kittens in mittens and praise for your darling children. You know which one to stash somewhere safe.

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By *ad NannaWoman
7 days ago

East London

When my husband was cheating on me he started keeping his phone on him, instead of leaving it on the table.

Christmas Eve he fell asleep on the sofa with it on his chest and got a text just after midnight.

I took the phone off his chest and read the text that confirmed what I had suspected.

I probably would have checked his phone before then, if I had had the chance.

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By *iver78Man
7 days ago

barton upon humber

"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.

I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t."

Same situation. And same opinion

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By *ad NannaWoman
7 days ago

East London

"No.

But it’s fine to sniff test their underpants."

My husband did that as well as look through my phone. I laugh because he was the one cheating.

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By *ensualbicockMan
7 days ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

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By *wcjw70Man
7 days ago

Great Barr

To send a quick text or make a phone call is perfectly reasonable but to sit and scroll through messages and emails goes beyond anything acceptable.

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By *parklingeclipseWoman
7 days ago

Lincolnshire

In a word..No

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By *an ClioCouple
7 days ago

Boston

"That scenario sounds like a form of monitoring and control which is absolutely not okay and deeply unhealthy within a relationship. "

Controlling, coercive behaviour.

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By *avexxMan
7 days ago

cheshire

its very difficult when youve worked for M16 ,, seriously you shouldnt

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By *Effy-Woman
7 days ago

Scotland

My husband can go on my phone whenever he wants and the same for me. We don't go snooping through messages or anything like that. We have private conversations with friends etc.

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By *ynamicnatureMan
7 days ago

Doncaster

My partner and myself will look at each others messages and vids only when it comes to our respective solo playtime with others.

It very much feeds each others kinks and it's incredibly hot.🔥

We don't know each others password and have no desire to know it, anything else in our phones is private and we're very comfortable with that.

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By *atteLover82Man
7 days ago

BERWICK-UPON-TWEED

For me personally you should respect the other person's privacy . If you feel the need to go through your partner's phone that shows that there is a lack of trust and that isn't a good sign in any relationship. On the other hand I would also be happy for a partner to view mine as I have both Ng to hide so I guess if it is made a massive deal with over the top reactions to mentioning it in a passive way as if hiding something that could also be a sign of concern. Hope that came out right but really everyone should respect peivacy and personal boundaries

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By *izandpaulCouple
7 days ago

merseyside

Absolutely not.

I wouldn't dream of going through Paul's phone, especially his work phone or his private one.

I will pick it up if ringing but wouldn't just presume to answer it. Sometimes it will ring, I shout the name shown and he will shake his head...

Same with mail, wouldn't dream of opening a letter, unless he is happy for me to do so.

The same applies to my phone but getting Paul to even pick my phone up when it rings is almost impossible.

Its not about trust, its good manners and privacy.

Bank accounts are the same.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
7 days ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

No. It's a bit like opening up your mind to be read.

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By *enuine_J87Man
7 days ago

Eastleigh

With my last ex, there were definitely times where I did think “I really want to know what she’s doing on that phone”

One time we were both laying on the bed and I saw a notification from a dating app appear on her phone and she grabbed it so fast.

Another time for absolutely no reason she kicked off about nothing and literally didn’t speak to me for weeks and I kept seeing her come online on WhatsApp but not messaging me which made me wonder who she was talking to (she didn’t have much social life)

But did I ever go through her phone, nope!

Most of us have been using generations of the same phone, I have years of my life on mine, pictures, work, emails, conversations, bank details, everything is on here. I would hate for someone to go through my personal stuff and so I would never do it to a person I care about

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By *picyminxWoman
7 days ago

Huntingdon

It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?

I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too

Im not bothered actually, sometimes I use his phone if mines dead and vice versa. He has never asked to look at it and me neither but it wouldn't bother me. I'd be more intrigued to know why he wanted to look at it rather than thinking about respect of my privacy 🤷‍♀️. I couldn't be with someone who didnt trust me.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"It's a private place for someone, until they consent to give access. Respecting boundaries is essential and healthy. I'm single and would question anyone who felt the need to be intrusive and controlling "
Yes, it is a private place for someone. I would question it too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"Quickly using a partner's phone in their presence to look up the weather? Fine. "Going through" a partner's phone? Absolutely not fine. I have conversations with friends and family on there with private information about their lives which isn't mine to share. I have my therapy notes. I don't share that with anyone.

If someone feels moved to delve into someone's private space for some sort of reassurance or evidence gathering then there's no trust, and, ultimately, a very poor relationship foundation."
Yes, you are right there, it is fine to look up that in their presence, yes, if they do that then there is a very poor relationship foundation too

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By *uttercupWoman
7 days ago

Borders

I did once. It shattered my heart. I seriously wouldn't recommend it. If it's got to that point it's time to go already

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By *eardofVampiresWoman
7 days ago

Lancaster

Absolutely not if you don't trust them whats the point in being in a relationship.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
7 days ago

couple, us we him her.

Meh ! it's only a phone,the real secrets are kept on a secure hard drive

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
7 days ago

belfast

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
7 days ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do."

We are exactly the same as this , I probably use my partners phone more than he does because I only have the free version of chat gpt and he has unlimited. Also when he’s driving he asks me to check emails for him or to text his mum to say what time we arriving if we arriving late etc.

We both know each others passcodes and often use each others phones for random things like if mines nearer and there’s a beautiful woodpecker in the garden he grabbed mine to take a photo as his was in the office!

We trust each other explicitly and absolutely have nothing to hide.

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By *ockwellinMan
7 days ago

Over there...

"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.

Outdated patriacal notion, stems from a time where women were subserviant to men, had no voice, had no rights, in essence the couple were blended into one with the male dominent.

I know things have moved forward, but its still male dominated, women still take the husbands name when married.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
7 days ago

Carlisle usually

In short, no.

The desire to go through your partner's phone because you don't trust them is indicative if your faith in them. Projection is a bitch.

I value honesty. If I truly think my partner is hiding things from me on their phone, the relationship is already dead 💜

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
7 days ago

SW1A1AA

anyone is welcome to go through my.phone. Both me and my late partner where ok with but we actually never did though.

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
7 days ago

Cheshire

If your partner knows you are on fab then theres nothing worth hiding. We haven't been through each others phones and dont feel the need to.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
7 days ago

Wolverhampton

Gosh no. I don't have anything to hide, it's just not necessary for them to do that, and if they want to then there's problems imo. An ex went through my phone during a wobbly patch in our relationship, we perhaps could have got through the wobble but that was a massive problem for me and I couldn't (or rather, didn't want to) forgive that.

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By *etwife8230Couple
7 days ago

Newport

Nope never !

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By *inkShyWoman
7 days ago

near Windsor

[Removed by poster at 03/06/26 18:04:47]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.

I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t."
Yes, it is about if you trust them or not too

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By *ermite12ukMan
7 days ago

Solihull and Romford

Only if your name is Alice.

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By *haft10Man
7 days ago

Wandsworth

You should not, however, not a fan of a privacy screen protector. I get the reason behind

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By *urlittlesecret!!Couple
7 days ago

london

you shouldnt however that is partly the reason we are on here and tried swinging out i went on the mrs phone and ended up looking at old messages and come across chats that she was having with old partners then on one chat there was a few pictures and too my suprise a couple of videos was still saved where she was sucking a cock twice the size of mine at first i felt sick seeing it then the hard on came and i instantly cum the second i touched my cock ever since then i got off on her having fun with other people

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
7 days ago

Round the bend

If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust.

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By *peedyGMan
7 days ago

Telford

"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust."

Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
7 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"The second you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble. If someone is doing something they shouldn't, no amount of monitoring is going to change that.

Save your peace and walk away."
Yes, you are right there, if you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble too

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
7 days ago

Round the bend

"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust.

Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship. "

💯

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By *025IncomingMan
7 days ago

Co.Antrim

I don't agree with it at all, if they ask I would let them. I never have anything to hide if I'm in a relationship, I've never cheated on anyone. But if my partner checked my phone secretly it would lose trust and respect because I wouldn't do it to them

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By *hagTonight OP Man
6 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust."
That is good how both of you know each others passwords, yes, it is called trust too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
6 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"We have nothing to hide from each other at all crack on have a butchers "
That is good how you have nothing to hide from each other too

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By *WB85Man
6 days ago

Staffordshire

My phones always on the side if my partner wishes to see it.

We have a huge level of trust though so never really feel the need.

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By *edR1dingHoodWoman
6 days ago

Cumbria

I'm not about to police whether someone is gonna cheat on me.

Cheaters are gonna cheat and looking through their phone won't stop that. They'll just get sneakier.

Everyone is entitled to privacy

I use my notes app like a journal/sounding board

Nobody needs to read my nightshift ramblings 😂

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By *hagTonight OP Man
6 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"That scenario sounds like a form of monitoring and control which is absolutely not okay and deeply unhealthy within a relationship. "
Yes, that scenario is deeply unhealthy within a relationship too

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By *wcoMan
6 days ago

West Midlands

It's a one word answer.

No.

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By *4bimMan
6 days ago

Farnborough Hampshire

one women i was dating briefly while i was sleeping took my finger to swipe open my phone so she could look into it.

sadly for her i knew what she was doing, opened my eyes and asked what she was playing at. i got dressed, left and never spoke to her again.

i had nothing to hide but she clearly had trust issues so i left silently without word.

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By *iscreetly121Man
6 days ago

Paisley

Nope, got to have trust and be open with each other.

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By *lim_funMan
6 days ago

Hebden bridge

Partner has my passcode. I can't remember hers but other than using it to access things to free up the other person and act as a second pair of hands it's no snooping from me. Honesty is best I have a high sex drive she can't keep up with but has no problem with me being here asking as I don't flaunt it in front of her.

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By *inkShyWoman
5 days ago

near Windsor

I don't care if someone goes through my phone, have nothing to hide. My best friends know my pin number.

I went through my exes phone once when I had a gut feeling. Feeling was right, no need to go through it again as I left.

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By *xSirenaxxWoman
5 days ago

"Got to respect privacy. If you’re hiding something though I’m a firm believer that the truth will come out eventually "

Exactly this.

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
4 days ago

Telford

I've never cared when I've been in a relationship. They can do what they want on it if they wish.

I don't just randomly go through someone's phone, I did once but he was cheating and I knew he was but he wouldn't admit it and made out I was being crazy.

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By *irAtlasMan
4 days ago

Dorking

Trust.

That's what this comes down too.

One often overlooked part is the expectation of privacy of 3rd parties in conversations , work , friends, family.

It's not all about cheating/alt lifestyles

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By *nmyknees69Man
4 days ago

Rushden

"I've never cared when I've been in a relationship. They can do what they want on it if they wish.

I don't just randomly go through someone's phone, I did once but he was cheating and I knew he was but he wouldn't admit it and made out I was being crazy.

Ask yourself why he was cheating. I have absolutely no qualms about anybody going through my phone. IF however somebody was nosey enough to secretly do it I’d begin to wonder why..

If he was cheating BEFORE then I do understand but if you had those suspicions then why keep it going?

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By *otwife_couple_hullCouple
4 days ago

Hull

We both know we can use each others phones, but generally we dont. Given the nature of things he will ask if he wants to see communication with guys I'm meeting etc which is entirely valid but other than that... Nah, we are so open it's be weird if one of us cheated and lets be honest if you secretly want access to your partners phone, that is what you are looking for.

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By *ogerroger69Man
4 days ago

West Yorks

No it’s private x

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By *warf with a mullet.Man
4 days ago

cardiff

Never had any issues with my partners going through my phone or anything else, if there are things you dont want them to sed , then you already have a problem

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By *tlanshiaWoman
4 days ago

Chatham

If someone feels the need to check my phone then I’d be gone. Everyone is entitled to privacy

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By *hromakeyDreamcoatMan
4 days ago

Carlisle

No, it’s just wrong.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
4 days ago

From the land of haribos.

"Absolutely not.

I wouldn't dream of going through Paul's phone, especially his work phone or his private one.

I will pick it up if ringing but wouldn't just presume to answer it. Sometimes it will ring, I shout the name shown and he will shake his head...

Same with mail, wouldn't dream of opening a letter, unless he is happy for me to do so.

The same applies to my phone but getting Paul to even pick my phone up when it rings is almost impossible.

Its not about trust, its good manners and privacy.

Bank accounts are the same.

"
That is good how you would pick it up if it is ringing, but wouldnt just presume to answer it, yes, it is about good manners and privacy too

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By *ecadentDeviantsCouple
4 days ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 06/06/26 17:10:54]

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By *ecadentDeviantsCouple
4 days ago

North West

If there are very good reasons for the suspicion & lack of trust, I think it’s a reasonable request.

For baseless suspicion, absolutely not.

In short, it depends on the circumstances.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
11 hours ago

From the land of haribos.

"If there are very good reasons for the suspicion & lack of trust, I think it’s a reasonable request.

For baseless suspicion, absolutely not.

In short, it depends on the circumstances."
Yes, you are right there, it also depends on the circumstances too

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By *parkle1974Woman
11 hours ago

Leeds

I couldn't care less what is on their phone. I've never done it with previous partners and never would. If they are hiding something, it shows in other ways so the tell tale signs are there x

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By *EAT..85Woman
11 hours ago

Nottingham

I often give my phone to the bf to do stuff on as we each have nothing to hide hide. I will clear down any message pre-reads out of respect, but if he chooses to look at my messages and see raunchy conversations with others that's on him!

I think if you have something to hide that can become clear in over protective phone handling. Every relationship is different though.

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
11 hours ago

Secret Lane

I have no problems if my hubby takes my phone...I can take his any time too

have nothing to hide.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
11 hours ago

Paradise, Herts

No I don’t think I would

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By *hinstrapMan
11 hours ago

sheffield

Don't have one. If I did I would have no reason to go through it.

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
3 hours ago

Round the bend

"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust.

Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship.

💯"

Shit bitch!! You posted this from my phone! 🤨

Mr 🐺

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