FabSwingers.com forum: whos got funniest joke?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

just wonderd if anyone would like to lay the best jokes down, not heard a good joke in ages

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Knock Knock

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Knock Knock"

damn you beat me to it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

go on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whay did the frog say when they went to the library?

Readit readit readit

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By *eordie JoJoTV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

What do you call a Chinese man who

Can eat with one chopstick

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By *eordie JoJoTV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

Foo kin Cleva

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

haha there bad sorry

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By *eordie JoJoTV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

What do you call a Russian breast surgeon

Dr Ripp a Nipple Off

(Russian accent) haha

Terrible I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man who's lost his car?

Carlos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What to you call a man that's just come out of hospital?

Manwell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a new porn DVD the other day, but it was just a picture of a bald bloke sitting there holding his cock..

..then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a Russian breast surgeon

Dr Ripp a Nipple Off

(Russian accent) haha

Terrible I know

My Russian accent seems to be more welsh/Indian for some reason haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two budgies sat on a perch. one turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two budgies sat on a perch. one turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?""

I like that one

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

What time does a Chinese man go to the dentist.

2.30

*courtesy of the lollipop stick information department*

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By *sxcpl1971Couple
over a year ago

Essex Land

Penguin walks into a bar.

Goes up to the barman and says has my father been in?

Barman says "don't know, what does he look like?"....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

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By *rbadguy64Couple
over a year ago

bangor

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug."

What do you call a guy without a spade on his head?

Doug-less

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By *rbadguy64Couple
over a year ago

bangor

My band were playing in a club called 'G-Spot' last night.

Loads of people couldn't find it

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

What did the Essex girl say after making love?????

"Are you guys all in the same team?"

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By *rbadguy64Couple
over a year ago

bangor

Eight things girls should say to men -

1. I'm bored, let's shave my pussy

2. RU sure u've had enough to drink?

3. That fart was great do another!

4. Of course I swallow, I love it!

5. No thats ok U watch porn, Ill wank you after i've done the washing up.

6. Just for a change put it in my arse.

7. How about u get that girlie from work to join in?

8. Marriage? No way!

Sadly, Carlsberg dont do these girlfriends but Thailand does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Skeleton walks into a pub. Barman says, "what can I get you?",

Skeleton replies, "pint of bitter and a mop please"

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Sadist has a masochist tied to a bed. Masochist is pleading "whip me, beat me, hurt me!"

Sadist says "No."

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Skeleton walks into a pub. Barman says, "what can I get you?",

Skeleton replies, "pint of bitter and a mop please""

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can get any woman on this site and the forums. True fact that is

Well I can dream and life in hope can't I? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do they call the sarcastic cowboy??

Tex Piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the similarity between brussel sprouts and pubic hair?

You push them both to the side and keep on eating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the similarity between brussel sprouts and pubic hair?

You push them both to the side and keep on eating

Reminds me of a similar and a slightly disgusting "joke".

What is the difference between snobs and sprouts? Young children always leave their sprouts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh no think I had better prepare to get even more messages with some awful pasted jokes added to them

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

What do you call a three eyed pig? ?

Piiig.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

"My band were playing in a club called 'G-Spot' last night.

Loads of people couldn't find it"
not funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a japanese car thief?

Tommy tuckamota

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a joke. Genuinely happened.

Boyfriend and girlfriend go to asda checkouts with their shopping. Both of them unload their shopping onto the belt and the girl asks her boyfriend to get her a Kit Kat off the shelf, which was about 15 yards away from the checkout. The boyfriend leaves and goes to get her the chocolate bar. He was confused on what size to get her. So he shouted "Hey ......, do you want to fingers or 4 fingers"? The girl was dying on the till and if he saw the 5 fingered kit Kat and asked his girlfriend for that. I would have said to her. You should tell him 5 fingers is called a fist" lol.

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By *ustBigBoyMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

A guy gets his wifes name tattoed to his penis for their anniversary.. Whens it big it says Wendy.. When its flaccid it says Wy.. They go on holiday to Jamaica and attend a nudist beach when the guy goes up to the bar and sees a Jamaican man with the letter Wy on his penis too.. "Oh, you got your wifes name too?" The Jamaican guy says" No, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica man, hope you have a nice day".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats the difference between a prostitute and a Cadbury's crème egg,you can lick an egg out for 59p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy gets his wifes name tattoed to his penis for their anniversary.. Whens it big it says Wendy.. When its flaccid it says Wy.. They go on holiday to Jamaica and attend a nudist beach when the guy goes up to the bar and sees a Jamaican man with the letter Wy on his penis too.. "Oh, you got your wifes name too?" The Jamaican guy says" No, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica man, hope you have a nice day".

LOVE IT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what has a mars bar and a crocodile got in common,,they both can't drive a tractor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lad gets a call from his mate in Majorca, 'whats the weather like there?'

'Like your Mum, 36 and Hot' he replies before asking 'whats the weather like at home?' The lad replies 'like you sister, 16 and wet'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lol anymore? few good ones there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two budgies sat on a perch. one turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mate's got massive ears but he's left one and had the other pinned back..... He looks like a proper mug

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

My wife said, "Those penis enlargement pills you're taking are definitely working. You're a bigger prick today than you were yesterday."

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Alcohol Free Lager...........

it's like licking your auntie's fanny.

It tastes the same but it's just not right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big fight earlier at our local petrol station

26 hurt in Total

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q.What do u call a prostitute with a runny nose?

A.Full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q.How do you make 5lb of fat look good?

A.Stick a nipple on it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

My friend said ' going on holiday, shall I bring you anything back?'

I said ' yeh 400 cigarettes and I'll settle up with you when you return.'

2 weeks later my mate turns up with the cigarettes. ' how much do I owe you mate?' I asked

' £150 mate' he replied.

'Thats a bit steep, where did you go on holiday?'

'Tenby' !!!!

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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

" Alcohol Free Lager...........

it's like licking your auntie's fanny.

It tastes the same but it's just not right

Oh dear lol

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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

Little boy walks in on his mum naked. He say to his dad

' what's that between mummy's legs?'

' oh err that's where God hit her with an axe,' replies the father.

' what a good shot, right in the c**t!'

Exclaims the boy.

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