FabSwingers.com forum: Long distance relationships...

By *ittle miss sunshine OP Woman
7 hours ago

south sheilds

Any one else ever been in a long distance relationship? I've been in one for 4 years now... But honestly the chances of us actually meeting is really low.

He doesn't want to progress because of that which is sad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *earditallWoman
7 hours ago

Lancaster

If he isn't willing to meet you after 4 years let it go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
7 hours ago

Yes. Several. And we've met many times. If he doesn't want to meet after four years and you're unhappy enough to be questioning and posting about it... it doesn't sound like it's making you happy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *earditallWoman
7 hours ago

Lancaster

"Yes. Several. And we've met many times. If he doesn't want to meet after four years and you're unhappy enough to be questioning and posting about it... it doesn't sound like it's making you happy."

Definitely what Meli said fir your own mental health that can't be good.

Also is it actually a real relationship if you don't meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *CExeCouple
7 hours ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

Yep, Chels is in Hong-Kong for the foreseeable future. However, she has been in the UK for the last few years and we've met up regularly in that time. We've found swinging and playing solo a great way to keep our spark there.

A long distance relationship where you've never met in several years though sounds very testing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
7 hours ago

Wales

You haven’t met at all? Not even once?

Have you chatted on cam?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
7 hours ago

East Sussex

"Any one else ever been in a long distance relationship? I've been in one for 4 years now... But honestly the chances of us actually meeting is really low.

He doesn't want to progress because of that which is sad "

Why haven't you met?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulldog_71Man
7 hours ago

Sedgefield

I'm currently getting to know someone really nice that is hundreds of miles away not ruling out the possibility of meeting but it would be tricky at the minute we're enjoying getting to know each other. Like everything else its just see how it goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arc PolarisMan
7 hours ago

Birmingham

Yes I have but then in perspective the distance wasn’t huge just needed planning.

I think distance brings its own problems and strains. You need to communicate better than in closer relationships. Make sure you make that time for each other and be more honest about things.

If after 4 years you haven’t met even once, then I would question it entirely and if this is something that has a future or is holding you back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
7 hours ago

Gatwick

Been in one for nearly 7 years. Very casual at the beginning- amped up since last year. But we have always met regularly. More so now that it is more “serious” so to speak.

My husband and I were also in a transcontinental relationship for a few years 25 years ago. We would meet every six months or yearly. We decided we couldn’t do it for longer so got married and I came here.

I would not call a relationship being in contact with someone and not meeting them in person. Sorry! 🎀

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss DevilWoman
7 hours ago

Hiding

OP, as others have said, it's not a true relationship if you've never met, you're just pen pals. And if he doesn't want to meet, what's the point of continuing? I just hope it's not any form of a romance scam.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gent CoulsonMan
7 hours ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

My last ltr started as long distance 80 miles, we would meet very often but lockdown happened and we ended up going our separate ways when she met someone closer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olyGlamorousWoman
7 hours ago

Chester

I started off with a FWB I met on here, contact and meets we're frequent enough but lately both have eased off. So to answer the question... If it eases off anymore I'm walking away because I'm not getting out of it what I want from the situation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kphooey43Man
7 hours ago

Barnet

Surprised some are saying it is not a relationship. It may not be a sexual relationship, but even pen pals are in a relationship.

I was in a relationship with my first lover for years before we ever met, initially it was just chat rooms, then moved to yahoo messenger or skype, phone calls, and finally the thorough joy of meeting for the first time.

Good luck OP, hope things work out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinstrapMan
7 hours ago

sheffield

There should be alarm bells ringing and mega big red flag.

Time to move on me thinks. Defo something not right.

I'd move in heartbeat for a good relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ypersoonMan
7 hours ago

WHITCHURCH, Shropshire

Was in 1 long-distance relationship for 8½ years, wasn't too bad but my partner had a few problems mostly the fact she didn't drive so she had to rely on public transport. When the pandemic hit she then lost trust in public transport & expected me to put in the miles to collect her if she wanted to visit me 🙄 (she lived under 25 miles away from me)

Also she was under the thumb of her mother who insisted on her caring for her dad 24/7 (& looking after the family in the process) plus her brother was incredibly weird (some of those habits revealed a couple of years after breaking up 😳)

Not sure I'd want another long-distance relationship unless she had more independence & capability to travel 🤨

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
7 hours ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I chat to people a long way away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Effy-Woman
7 hours ago

Scotland

How can you be in a relationship with someone you've never met?

If he isn't chomping at the bit to meet you after 4 years. I think it's time to walk away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *az2019Man
7 hours ago

Yorkshire & Manchester

"I started off with a FWB I met on here, contact and meets we're frequent enough but lately both have eased off. So to answer the question... If it eases off anymore I'm walking away because I'm not getting out of it what I want from the situation "

Spot on... wether its a long distance relationship or close.... if either side isn't getting what they need etc... then either fix it or leave it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olyGlamorousWoman
6 hours ago

Chester

Spot on... wether its a long distance relationship or close.... if either side isn't getting what they need etc... then either fix it or leave it.

I've tried 'fixing it' seems to be all one way at the moment 🤷🏼

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *007ManMan
6 hours ago

Worthing

Waste of time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hamallamadingdongMan
6 hours ago

London

LDR are tough. I couldn't do it. I need physical contact. 4 years is a long time though. It sounds like you are pen pals. Or in an online relationship.

It's up to you to make the best decision for yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hat.coupleCouple
6 hours ago

Kent

4 years without meeting is a long time, my needy little heart couldn't take not having regular access to the person I love, I need intimacy and affection to feel loved. I couldn't do it and to be fair it doesn't sound like it's worth it from what you've said. I wish you luck but it's a no thank you from me.

Mrs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olyGlamorousWoman
6 hours ago

Chester

"4 years without meeting is a long time, my needy little heart couldn't take not having regular access to the person I love, I need intimacy and affection to feel loved. I couldn't do it and to be fair it doesn't sound like it's worth it from what you've said. I wish you luck but it's a no thank you from me.

Mrs x"

This 👆🏼 👌🏼

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
6 hours ago

Crumpet Castle

"Any one else ever been in a long distance relationship? I've been in one for 4 years now... But honestly the chances of us actually meeting is really low.

He doesn't want to progress because of that which is sad "

Tell me what makes this a relationship please ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeman1200Man
6 hours ago

Paulton Nr Bristol

i try to chose people within 30 miles of me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
6 hours ago

Niche

Don't judge the guy or assume what's not stated.

The context may not be that he's uninvested.

Could be that he has hung in this long because of real, genuine interest.

But honestly if, as you said, meeting isn't ever going to happen then he is setting a boundary that he needs to move on in life.

Which is completely reasonable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
6 hours ago

Wales

The thing is, time goes past so quickly you don’t want to spend time on a person (and 4 years IS a long time) only to find it goes nowhere. You can’t get that time back.

It’s not so bad if you’re in your late teens/early twenties, but do you really want to spend more years on a “maybe we will go somewhere/maybe not” situation?

And if it were me, If they lived in another Country (just summizing) and took holidays abroad but never came to see me, I’d get really annoyed. But that’s just me.

Life is too short to dilly dally about I reckon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourpornfixMan
5 hours ago

East Cheshire

Two, one in America and one in Russia, meetings were infrequent but very hot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle miss sunshine OP Woman
4 hours ago

south sheilds

Yes we chat on cam every day and will occasionally play.

He encourages me to see people here in the UK which is the main reason I'm on fab to be honest.

We do want to meet but it's expensive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *y_CinnamonWoman
3 hours ago

Hampshire

"Yes we chat on cam every day and will occasionally play.

He encourages me to see people here in the UK which is the main reason I'm on fab to be honest.

We do want to meet but it's expensive "

You could have saved up in 4 years.

Waste of your time, delete block and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layful Sub BratWoman
3 hours ago

Greater London

Tbh, I wouldn't even consider a long distance relationship. Different strokes for different folks, as the expression goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelsmyMan
3 hours ago

douglas

seems that you are not actually in a relationship and it is time to find someone new

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *CExeCouple
3 hours ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

"Yes we chat on cam every day and will occasionally play.

He encourages me to see people here in the UK which is the main reason I'm on fab to be honest.

We do want to meet but it's expensive "

What country is he in?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirtyFilthWoman
3 hours ago

Troublesville

"Yes we chat on cam every day and will occasionally play.

He encourages me to see people here in the UK which is the main reason I'm on fab to be honest.

We do want to meet but it's expensive

What country is he in?"

You haven’t sent him any money have you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
2 hours ago

Calderdale innit

I think it depends on what you both agreed when you started up?.

Did he give you the impression you'd meet? If so and it hasn't happened after 4 years and you want to, I'd probably cut my losses.

If it's never been agreed, then that's different I think.

But, if it's not fulfilling you or your needs, maybe time to rethink it op. Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rispy KremeMan
2 hours ago

wolves

How far they love to you? I been in long distance before which was around 50 ish miles away but we will made time to meet once a week.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread