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Funny things Kids say!

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I love this one, my nephew was at a toddler group with some popcorn and was sharing it out, telling everybody it was 'Cockporn'!

bless him, he's only two!

Have you any funny words to share that you have heard a child say?

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick

My lad would have been around the same age and was fascinated by the doors to shops that opened automatically when you approached them...

'Manic doors'.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter comes out with the funniest things ever.

We were all sat at the table eating dinner when the lads were going through their everything is gay stage..my daughter had asked what gay was and one of the lads said when a man fancys a man and then said and when a woman fancies a woman...she stopped him here and said" oh yeah ive heard all about them Mexicans"...she meant lesbians

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

when I was about 9, I was on the bus with my mum, sister who was 6 and 3 year old brother. There was a guy at the front of the bus with a multiccoloured mohican. My brother piped up really loudly saying 'mummy, that man has a parrot on his head'! The guy heard him and was laughing, while we were left slightly embarrassed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nephew came and told us all at xmas mummy had lost her front bum fuz which had us in stitches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in the kitchen making myself a drink when my niece came in and said 'can I have a drink', showing her the bottle I said 'do you want a bitter lemon' to which she replied 'no, can I have a lotta lemon'

she got me there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My youngest son shouted " I shot out of my Mammys bum" during a recent visit to Mcdonalds.....ffs

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"My nephew came and told us all at xmas mummy had lost her front bum fuz which had us in stitches. "

hahaha, how did he know that?

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"I was in the kitchen making myself a drink when my niece came in and said 'can I have a drink', showing her the bottle I said 'do you want a bitter lemon' to which she replied 'no, can I have a lotta lemon'

she got me there "

, they're not daft kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my daughter asked me where we were going. i replied 'non of your business'

she comes back and says 'o0o0ohh mummy im so excited, we havent been there in a long time'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my daughter asked me where we were going. i replied 'non of your business'

she comes back and says 'o0o0ohh mummy im so excited, we havent been there in a long time' "

You got your name back!

Write down the funny things she says. It's great to look back at. Happy memories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my daughter asked me where we were going. i replied 'non of your business'

she comes back and says 'o0o0ohh mummy im so excited, we havent been there in a long time' "

Awwww bless her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my daughter asked me where we were going. i replied 'non of your business'

she comes back and says 'o0o0ohh mummy im so excited, we havent been there in a long time'

You got your name back!

Write down the funny things she says. It's great to look back at. Happy memories. "

yeah ive a jar of things she says they are an instant pick up when i feel down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

V's youngest son told her friend that he and V were both impatient because the were Apricorns.

he meant capricorn, we think, or apricots, we arent totally sure lol

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

Many years ago, we were teaching one of our daughters who was about 3 at the time that it was 'pardon', not 'what' when she hadn't heard what someone had said.

In Sainsburys a few weeks later we said 'What would you like for your dinner'

Straight away she came back with 'It's not WHAT would you like for your dinner, it's PARDON would you like for your dinner' !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just after William and Kate got married I was teaching a lesson and we started talking about the monarchy. I asked the children who they thought would be King after the Queen dies, one child answered "Kate Middleton" to which I explained see would be Queen when William is King. I then prompted by explaining that it would be someone who is a Prince now, who's name began with "Ch" I further prompted "Char..." to which the youngest child chirped up, "Prince Charming"

All professionalism went out of the window and great amounts of hilarity ensued after I had told the children that actually Prince Charles would be the next King.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After having my last child my daughter visited me in hospital , she started talking to the midwife about some off the pics on the wall and the midwife explained that's how babies are born! My daughter proudly stands up and declares she came out off the sun roof and that the midwife should go back to school !!!! Ooops she was only 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh love this thread made me laugh lots reminded me of a few things my kids said when they were toddlers .. The one that always made us laugh was my son calling KFC "Kenfuckie my fishin"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was asleep and my little cousin came into the room. She nudged me and said 'wake up' wake uppp' , wake uppppppp'... 3 second silence...'oh for gods sake' she says. Lol love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son wanted electric scales for his birthday a few years ago wasn't until he showed me exactly what he wanted that I realised what he actually wanted was scalextric

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My son wanted electric scales for his birthday a few years ago wasn't until he showed me exactly what he wanted that I realised what he actually wanted was scalextric "

Bet he was pissed off xmas morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best one I've had this week was in a piece of writing where the kids had written a message in a bottle to be rescued from a desert island. I'd spent a long time talking to the kids about the need to describe where they had last been and where they were heading to and we had written a basic plan together.

I marked the work on Monday where a child had said that they had last visited Portugal so they should look in the Pacific Ocean - needless to say I'm going to be incorporating Geography into our English work in the next few weeks!

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

A nephew of mine couldnt pronounce his R's or L's properly and they sounds like W's....

When he was younger, the film Lion King was just out and he loved it...... except he pronounced it Wion King...... which sounds OK, but with his young years and still picking up the language, he made it sound like Wanking.

So, when you asked him "What are you watching?" you often had to restrain laughter when he said "Wanking, its my favourite, I love wanking"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a kid....

Bugger that, I'm not telling you lot lol

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

When one of my daughters was young, I asked her what she did at school that day. 'We learned about gonads' she said. My jaw dropped - I'm all for sex education but that seemed a bit much for a 9 year old. 'and what did you learn about them?' I asked. 'Well, they wander around the desert and live in tents.' ohhh - NOMADS!

Another time, the youngest came into the kitchen with an old lampshade on her head chanting in monotone 'ommmm - I am masturbating' I said 'you're what??'... she thought for a moment and said 'oh no - I meant MEDITATING'

Kids eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago at Biarritz France this wee girl was yelling out phoque phoque phoque im like that wee girl needs her mouth washed out with soap.She was pointing at a fluffy toy seal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could write a book with what kids to say to me

Everything from ... Gangbang style - instead of Gangham crap

TO ' were you born in the vitorian times Miss *****' ... I love them all

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By *ickedxxxCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

My daughter told me that when I don't wear my glasses my eyes look bald?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a classic today from my 16yr old, I call them "K***yisms"

I was sitting at the pc when a status popped up from my daughter moaning about the tutors at college..

Me.... You should be concentrating on what you are doing..

Her... I can't i am at college.

Me... There really is no hope lol..

Same child when she was about seven asked her elder brother if she had been born on her birthday.... Maybe they are right when it comes to Essex girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watching tv the other day and my 7 yr old son walks in and says "oh that twat again" !! Shocked I asked who he didn't like and where did he learn that from? Turns out his father has not been watching his mouth when watching footy as each time Gary Lineker he now thinks it's ok to say it!!!!!!

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By *ornieandhotCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

My daughter is twelve and has special needs as she's starting to change now we had a talk about boobs she was worried she was only getting one bless her

Anyway next day we were walking up the road when a lady with a rather nice pair was coming towards us and she says " mum I hope my boobs end up like hers they're nice "

Yes the woman heard lol

D x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hobbit told me tonight im not really so ugly as other kids mums in school are well uglier than me.

My nephew thinks Nelson Mandella and Uncle Ben are the same person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son was 3. While visiting my sister. He asked for a drink. She said. "what's the magic word" meaning please. He said abracadabra

My daughter was 4 woke up one morning and said "I know what day it is today". When asked. She said tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The twins little arguments between themselfs always make me chuckle.

When they were about 5 we were going to school and as we walked past a big chimney twin 2 says" thats were santa lives"....twin 1 says 'no it isnt "....on goes a yes he does no he doesnt...then twin 1 says"dont be stupid he lives across the rd from school i seen him come out" he had seen the caretaker dressed up for the xmas party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after a very long flight to Oz just coming in to land my son (aged 3) says in a very loud voice "look mummy smoke the wings on fire" i see a few peopl shift in their seats "no darlin thats just a cloud" in a much louder voice "its smoke the wings on fire!!" well he got every1s attention!!

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