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"One guy ran out with the duct tape and used it to keep her skirt down and in place, he lifted her up over his shoulder, taking her back into the house." The stupid sod couldn’t see properly because her skirt fell over his eyes and he walked into the wrong house. | |||
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"“MARK!!” She screamed, “how DARE you!” “W-w-what, darling?” He stammered knowing that the cock cage punishment would be for a week. “That’s my fucking tape!” She snarled “rip it off this instant!” " Completely misunderstanding her, he grabbed his cock with both hands and pulled it off... | |||
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"I’m pissing myself too much to add anything " Truely lol'd | |||
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"The Amazon guy felt sorry for the penis-less gentleman and handed him his ipad where an algorithm kindly suggested a "Today's Deal" of a stainless steel egg whisk." Ordering the whisk on Prime, the cockless gentleman prepared a final meal. Shaping his sausage into a flat patty, he began to cook. With the rapid delivery of the whisk, he scrambled his two eggs quickly, cooked until set and served the egg on top of the patty to the bemused Amazon man. | |||
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"The penis patty made the Amazon wonder to the point of him blurting out “please can I try a piece of your cock” " I'm FAB straight! He screamed as he thrust his sausage patty cock deep into the throat of the Amazon delivery twink .. | |||
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"He turned towards the twink and said: "One fucking sentence."" “Oh dear”, he simpered, “how many years?” | |||
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"He turned towards the twink and said: "One fucking sentence."" He replied “I’m sorry I’ve spent so long with Wilson it’s been 15 years since I’ve seen another person” | |||
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"He turned towards the twink and said: "One fucking sentence." He replied “I’m sorry I’ve spent so long with Wilson it’s been 15 years since I’ve seen another person”" Wilson then bounded out of Chuck's arms and bounced down the road. | |||
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"The head teacher looked up from their morning meeting with the PTA in surprise and said, 'I'd like to clarify a few allegations that are going around'. "She rested her arms on her ample bosom, alowed her horn-rimmed glasses to perch on the end of her nose, and cleared her throat... | |||
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"“Just so you know I’m an expert at giving head” she said as she wink at them " I expect whoever wrote that on the wall in the boys toilets to come to my office after this lesson and I will administer the paddle. | |||
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"“Not again!” She howled in dismay, “that orange was my lunch”. " As she pulled the orange from his mouth, he was finally able to mumble, "if you were making a fruit salad, you may want to pull the grapes out of my arse!" | |||
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"Yes my shopping is downstairs, grapes, sausages, mushrooms, condoms and lube.." Wilson began to salivate, but it was not at the prospect of a healthy breakfast... | |||
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"Ofsted replied...no wilson u have to earn ur keep" It was at that point he realised that he needed to get back to Hedingham Castle if he was to maintain it's outstanding keep, but he worried about Norman's arch... | |||
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"Ofsted replied...no wilson u have to earn ur keep It was at that point he realised that he needed to get back to Hedingham Castle if he was to maintain it's outstanding keep, but he worried about Norman's arch..." As he worried, he remembered how (with gleeful amusement) he used to give his girlfriends castle related nicknames. There was ‘portcullis’ who would drop her knickers but then hoist them up saying ‘I’m not that type’, just as his cock was centimetres away and there was ‘oubliette’, the french lady with the hole that you never wanted to be in but could never forget and ‘arrow loop’ with the strangely elongated pussy. | |||
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"Ofsted replied...no wilson u have to earn ur keep It was at that point he realised that he needed to get back to Hedingham Castle if he was to maintain it's outstanding keep, but he worried about Norman's arch... As he worried, he remembered how (with gleeful amusement) he used to give his girlfriends castle related nicknames. There was ‘portcullis’ who would drop her knickers but then hoist them up saying ‘I’m not that type’, just as his cock was centimetres away and there was ‘oubliette’, the french lady with the hole that you never wanted to be in but could never forget and ‘arrow loop’ with the strangely elongated pussy. " | |||
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"He looked closer. She was smiling. " Oh no it was just a fart | |||
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"Maybe . It did feel quite lumpy . " In his sleep he rolled over hugging the lumpy pillow closer to his groin, dry humping it like JD Vance with his sofa... | |||
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"As he floated in dreamland his wildest fantasy of being an insatiable woman where true and she was getting ALL her holes filled. " Thick, throbbing cocks slammed relentlessly into her dripping pussy and stretched asshole while another forced its way down her greedy throat, her body rocking the Juices squirted down her thighs as she came hard | |||
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"...as she came hard..." against a brickwall, the front of her Ford Ka crumpling like a cardboard box when sat on by a 24 stone hairy goth | |||
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"...as she came hard... against a brickwall, the front of her Ford Ka crumpling like a cardboard box when sat on by a 24 stone hairy goth" Green flag were soon on the way and the crumpling orgasm rendered the KA with an engine management light and the purple pea would no longer start | |||
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"...as she came hard... against a brickwall, the front of her Ford Ka crumpling like a cardboard box when sat on by a 24 stone hairy goth Green flag were soon on the way and the crumpling orgasm rendered the KA with an engine management light and the purple pea would no longer start" Luckily Wilson knew what to do with a purple pea, gently he rubbed it between his thumb, index finger and middle finger, trying to make it splutter back into life... | |||
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"A midget on sitting on two books driving a post van looks horrified out the side window not knowing a giant box of sex toys blocks the road ..." ... and just as he gasps, his dog navigator starts furiously barking at a rogue vibrator that has rolled under the brake pedal, sinking his fangs into it with a snarl - in shock (and sympathy), the midget crosses his legs - a fatal error as his feet are no longer on the clutch or the brake... | |||
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