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"Yes. I’ve given up. " Oh no, the first reply.  Why did you give up? Do you see Fab as being competitive? Sorry to read that, x | |||
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"Yes. I’ve given up. Oh no, the first reply. Why did you give up? Do you see Fab as being competitive? Sorry to read that, x"Nero was wittier Rex’s arse was sexier Shags torso is leaner Libs cock is bigger Chunky Gents wrists are more shapely | |||
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"Yes. I’ve given up. Oh no, the first reply. Why did you give up? Do you see Fab as being competitive? Sorry to read that, x
Nero was wittier
Rex’s arse was sexier
Shags torso is leaner
Libs cock is bigger
Chunky Gents wrists are more shapely"And Chilly is more laid backer. | |||
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"I am, of course, being my usual deprecative self and actually don’t find this place at all worrisome. " 😒 Men. | |||
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"I used to, and it didnt put me in a great headspace. Now i don't care, we're all very different people with very different likes so theres no point trying to mould myself to try and fit someone's preference and I don't judge anyone for theirs." Yes! People are very different. If I think about the variety in people I find attractive, it would be a bit daft to not think others would have similar variety. It's a bit crap when you (general you) can catch yourself doing it, isn't it? | |||
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"I did and still do, on and off of fab. It used to mess with my head on here hence the longish breaks i often take. " Have you found ways to stop yourself doing that a little bit? Taking breaks can be a good idea when needed. I've read a few posts recently about best *insert*, people discussing sex and it made me think about comparisons and possibly downsides being on here. | |||
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"Yeah. I have stupidly high expectations for myself that I will never be happy with how I look. My profile isn't that sarcastic, which probably just makes it a little sad! I've not met guys before based on who they've met previously and thinking I wouldn't measure up. I try not to these days but sometimes I still do. " Do you think because you're hard on yourself you can be harsh on others also? I'm remembering a comment about lamb on a fishnet thread and it kind of tracks. Don't want to comment on your profile, deftly avoiding that. 
You shouldn't stop yourself from meeting anyone because of their past, it's daft - someone can be attracted to very different women - it doesn't mean the attraction is any less. | |||
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"No I don't compare myself, I generally feel as invisible as I do in real life here. I think comparing yourselves to others can only cause insecuritie. Mrs " Yeah, I'd agree with that. Comparison can also be a result of insecurities - if something is more of an issue you might notice it more readily in others. And then fall down a comphole which isn't really a good idea. You're not invisible by the way. 😊 | |||
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"Comparison is the thief of joy, which is probably why I am so joyless 😅" Funny but also kind of sad. | |||
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"On a site like Fab, filled with nudes, penises, veris and people talking about sex (they're having or daydreaming about) and maybe sometimes having sex - Do you find that you compare yourself to others? Or have done before. Yes compared to a 6pack and pecs i feel very inadequate. Just because there isn't doesn't mean everything else isn't good If there's an area you're unhappy in, are you more likely to be cynical/judgemental about other people in said area? " | |||
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"I love the forums, they keep me smiling but whenever forum asking if you're "in" and someone has to either rate or suggest what they'd like to do, then I do compare as often I got no responses, sometimes it bothers me, sometimes not " Yeah. And comparisons do happen on the forums. Name the best x is another which can be quite competitive. They can be a lot of fun but when men ask who has the best... it's a bit of an eyeroll. | |||
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"I try not to, but it happens. I try not to dwell on negative feelings. " Yeah, it can. And it's crap when it does. If you're in a comparing mood again, compare yourself to forum posters (like me) who fail to reply to everyone and make them feel seen. You're a star. 🩷 | |||
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"I am, of course, being my usual deprecative self and actually don’t find this place at all worrisome. 😒 Men."  | |||
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"I only compare myself to me - am I growing and improving as a person? No point comparing to others; all I can see is what they want me to see through their profile and forum posts" That's true. And what you're seeing is what they think people want to see. It's not the full picture. Do you think you are growing, Phil? | |||
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"No, fortunately I'm now comfortable in my own body. 20 years ago would have been another story though. " 🩷 | |||
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"I only compare myself to me - am I growing and improving as a person? No point comparing to others; all I can see is what they want me to see through their profile and forum posts That's true. And what you're seeing is what they think people want to see. It's not the full picture. Do you think you are growing, Phil?" You’re asking him that?! | |||
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"Made me realise what a fat unattractive bastard I am and how now women wants me " It's very unlikely you're a fat unattractive bastard. 99.9% unlikely. Women might not be responding to you for other reasons. Talking about yourself like that isn't healthy or fair on you, can you do things to improve your self image? | |||
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"Yes i do. But a lot less than i use too. I was a lot bigger a couple of years ago and i massively used to compare myself to others and that has stuck with me a little bit but i am getting better at taking the thought to court and then letting it go. I used to sit with it for a lot longer. " This is a joy to read TT. I hope you get to the point where you don't sit with it at all. No thoughts like that. Everyone has value, regardless of their size. | |||
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"Yes i do. But a lot less than i use too. I was a lot bigger a couple of years ago and i massively used to compare myself to others and that has stuck with me a little bit but i am getting better at taking the thought to court and then letting it go. I used to sit with it for a lot longer. This is a joy to read TT. I hope you get to the point where you don't sit with it at all. No thoughts like that. Everyone has value, regardless of their size." Oh absolutely _eli and it actually has nothing to do with size ive found ive been lots of different sizes and still felt the exact same much more a me thing. But its getting better the older im getting | |||
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"I did and still do, on and off of fab. It used to mess with my head on here hence the longish breaks i often take. Have you found ways to stop yourself doing that a little bit? Taking breaks can be a good idea when needed. I've read a few posts recently about best *insert*, people discussing sex and it made me think about comparisons and possibly downsides being on here. " Breaks help from fab, I try to spend more time on the forums than trying to find meets or putting any form of pressure on myself to be like "the guys who get the girls" (real or imaginary). Away from fab it's more difficult, my job is essentially all around being better than someone else or pushing your skillset. In those instances I just use a support networks or hobbies. Fab used to be really difficult for me being as i suffer with an anxiety disorder. That would hamper me and the often held belief that clubs or group socials are the answer. I think in short you just need to find what works best for you. | |||
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"I only compare myself to me - am I growing and improving as a person? No point comparing to others; all I can see is what they want me to see through their profile and forum posts That's true. And what you're seeing is what they think people want to see. It's not the full picture. Do you think you are growing, Phil? You’re asking him that?! "Haha I'll try and answer sensibly
I hope I'm growing Meli, but I still have days like today where I wonder if I'm still falling into old patterns or habits I thought I'd left behind 🤷♂️ | |||
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"I certainly compare and I am fully aware I shouldn't. I am wrong to because I'd never set the standard I apply for myself to others. For example, I've had 2 c sections, I have a scar (and some more in other places for various reasons), I have stretch marks, I would say my stomach is wrinkled where they literally dragged my babies out 🤣 and.. I hate it. Despite the reasons behind it. I judge my body far too harshly for that.. and some other things. However, I'd never ever say these things about another woman... In fact if someone has had kids or not or has a wrinkled tummy or a scar or anything... It never puts me off and that goes for men too. It can be difficult but I've learnt to step back. I don't browse profiles much, I don't browse photos. I stay off the 'most fabbed' part. I enjoy messaging and talking to people, getting to know *the person/people* rather than the body first. Mrs x " We are so much harsher on ourselves than others aren’t we. Good luck with your self love 🫶🏻 | |||
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"I used to, and it didnt put me in a great headspace. Now i don't care, we're all very different people with very different likes so theres no point trying to mould myself to try and fit someone's preference and I don't judge anyone for theirs. Yes! People are very different. If I think about the variety in people I find attractive, it would be a bit daft to not think others would have similar variety. It's a bit crap when you (general you) can catch yourself doing it, isn't it?" Oh for sure, but ive learned to give my self a good head wobble and snap out of it real quick | |||
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"I sometimes look in the mirror and think to myself ‘you’re a short, fat ass, skinhead tranny how the fuck did life end up like this?’. So I guess I compare myself with how I might have turned out differently, ‘better’. Not other people. Then I get on with my day. " Not better. Definitely not. Quotes or not. Different, yes. Getting on with your day and not dwelling is a good thing. Healthy. A few years ago I'd compare and find myself lacking often. Now I don't dwell and go and sit in the sun (when it appears). | |||
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"At the moment, yeah I’m comparing, feeling a bit insecure. I do look at veris and decide I probably won’t be their type in person due to previous meets. Other times I’m more secure and feeling sexy AF and don’t care if I’m ignored 🤣 Probably hormones play a part in this…." Hormones can be such a pain in the arse. And you know it's why you're feeling that way and it's bollocks (because it is, Mrs Amo) but you can't quite shift it just yet. I put myself on time out when the pain/hormone combo is making me doubt myself. :D You deserve to feel sexy AF because you are. ❤️ | |||
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"Yeah, I think it's inevitable to make some comparisons to others. Whether it's body parts, photos or even their ability to meet people regularly. I've even had it in clubs where people seem to gravitate to towards each other and wonder why I find it so difficult and wonder where I go wrong but I try not to let it affect how I do on here as it can be one big negative spiral." Having thoughts like that is fine, every once in a while. Not letting them spiral is easier typed than done sometimes but a very good idea. You've got a lot to offer BBJ, don't forget that. 🩷 | |||
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"Meli, there appears to be a gentleman hanging out the back of you." Oh no. Sorry you had to see that Libby, I'll be gentleman free come the morning. 😘 | |||
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"I used to compare myself to other guys and think why someone would choose me and not them. I remind myself frequently of some of the amazing meets I've had over my years on here and hopefully more things will happen when the time is right. My biggest issue is I see ladies and think they're way out of my league and end up blocking them. " You know leagues aren't a thing?Not really. Attraction is, sure. Finding when it's reciprocated isn't always easy but there really is no such things as leagues. You might not be compatible with each other. Still not a league. Be happy with who you are, you have every reason to be. And don't think of it as leagues. You're doing yourself a disservice and putting the aforementioned women on a pedestal. | |||
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"I definitely feel like I shouldn't be on here, because i won't get my gash out. " Not even modest slither for the pervs? | |||
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