FabSwingers.com forum: Men, a question*.

By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that.

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By *morousCouple8Couple
2 weeks ago

Cumbria

📝 📝 📝

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By *WB85Man
2 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I cant speak for others, but I certainly dont get messages as frequently as daily. Few and far between is my honest answer.

But, you tend to get a far better quality of message, from someone thats actually viewed and read your profile.

Its a very nice feeling when it does happen.

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By *hil most chillMan
2 weeks ago

London, South East & Europe

Messages from new people I've never chatted with - maybe 10 a week if I'm particularly active on forums.

Half of these will be non-sexual, people just saying my profile gave them a laugh. The others might be flirty messages out of the blue or replies to messages I've sent.

I can't say I get rude or abusive messages, but sometimes I'll get very short, blunt ones, usually from couples where the man is writing.

And this is in no way consistent, week to week. Some weeks it's 0, others it's 10. Usually just depends on the effort I put in

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By *ogisticalBigManMan
2 weeks ago

Sheffield

"I cant speak for others, but I certainly dont get messages as frequently as daily. Few and far between is my honest answer.

But, you tend to get a far better quality of message, from someone thats actually viewed and read your profile.

Its a very nice feeling when it does happen. "

I can echo this comment. Nice when it happens but these days I don't hold my breath.

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By *hyKentGuyMan
2 weeks ago

sheerness

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Never get a woman message first. X

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By *ooking_4_meetsMan
2 weeks ago

ferryhill

Honestly could be due to a few reasons, my age or the fact I don’t drive but regardless of the matter, to this day I’ve still not received a single message off a woman on here. Spoke to them yes, but only when I’ve messaged first and even that isn’t very many. Kind of feels a bit pointless being on here sometimes tbh

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By *hesblokeMan
2 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Don't know haha.

Nah.

Honestly I'm alright just hanging around, tips on painting Warhammer would be welcomed...

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By *ulldog_71Man
2 weeks ago

Sedgefield

What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

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By *hyKentGuyMan
2 weeks ago

sheerness

"Honestly could be due to a few reasons, my age or the fact I don’t drive but regardless of the matter, to this day I’ve still not received a single message off a woman on here. Spoke to them yes, but only when I’ve messaged first and even that isn’t very many. Kind of feels a bit pointless being on here sometimes tbh"

You are not alone! That goes for me too.

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

Filth

Not many

Filth but so something pleasant now and again. Maybe a boob pic or a tease. You know, the usual wank material

It was a pleasure to be of service, Meli.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I cant speak for others, but I certainly dont get messages as frequently as daily. Few and far between is my honest answer.

But, you tend to get a far better quality of message, from someone thats actually viewed and read your profile.

Its a very nice feeling when it does happen. "

I hope it keeps happening for you. 😊 Yes, one or two messages from someone who is genuinely interested, making a real effort is far better than multiple questionable quality ones. In my mind, others might disagree.

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By *anderingArtistMan
2 weeks ago

an abstract world

I don't recieve many messages but it doesn't bother me.

The general standard from women is what would categorise as decent. Nothing abhorrent such as those from men, like the other thread has unearthed. Any messages usually come off the back of the forums so there's an already established common ground and they're well written, sometimes flirty, sometimes funny - all in all decent.

I like messages which are direct (because I'm "sign blind") and have a question or something obvious I can reply to to get things going. If they make me laugh it's a bonus but I really just want someone to be themselves and see where it goes..

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

1. Poor

2. Maybe 1 a month ? More when I put more effort it.

3. Would be great to get normal, well written messages from women but Fab would not be the place I looked for that.

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By *ydaz70Man
2 weeks ago

Rotherham /newquay

I've been on off ten yrs and I can't remember a lady messaging me other than scams I've had replies and couples message me but never a lady making the first contact

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By *exxyyDy11Man
2 weeks ago

North West

I don't get that many. A few handful. Mostly forum related. But no, not many at all. The odd strange message. But mostly just forum related or talking to old friends.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Messages from new people I've never chatted with - maybe 10 a week if I'm particularly active on forums.

Half of these will be non-sexual, people just saying my profile gave them a laugh. The others might be flirty messages out of the blue or replies to messages I've sent.

I can't say I get rude or abusive messages, but sometimes I'll get very short, blunt ones, usually from couples where the man is writing.

And this is in no way consistent, week to week. Some weeks it's 0, others it's 10. Usually just depends on the effort I put in"

Is it generally quite easy to spot the difference between the male/female tone?

Being active on the forum can definitely increase the likelihood of people messaging. It's getting out there (virtually). Like going to clubs and socials, the more effort you put in, the more likely you'll come across the right people.

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By *hyKentGuyMan
2 weeks ago

sheerness

Also many messages I send to women are not even read!…🤷‍♂️

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them "

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

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By *ulldog_71Man
2 weeks ago

Sedgefield

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

Well that kind of fucks my self esteem lol

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By *agicfingers1Man
2 weeks ago

near Brighton

You are not alone! That goes for me too."

And me

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By *hams123Man
2 weeks ago

London

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Do you mean they message me first? Incredibly rare. And usually it's about something happening on the forums, a challenge or a discussion and they want to have a private convo about it. I'm happy to have a chat.

I don't think I've received any overly sexual messages from a lady. Maybe a bit of flirting after we've had a chat on the forums. No random tit pics or vag pics (is that a thing?)

Daily? No. Weekly? Hardly. Monthly? Maybe a few. Yearly? Maybe a handful. I think the emphasis is still on the men to approach women. Unfortunately this is very difficult as there are so many of us on here and even on dating apps. Trying to come up with a unique intro that will catch someone's eye, appeal directly to them, shows I've read her/their bio, explains I'm what they are looking for, what an exciting time we are going to have and much much more, and don't forget to add a face pic! It's a lot of pressure and exhausting. I choose to be myself and relax.

Most of the messages I send are conversational. A bit of banter back and forth. Trying to get to know each other. Unfortunately there are probably so many other men sending messages that it can get lost in the abyss. I can imagine it's exhausting for a woman to keep up with so many conversations, the ones that matter and the ones that don't.

I would love to have a decent conversation with a lady, maybe about a shared interest or something they like about me. Or some shameless flirting. Or telling me if they are actually into me because I genuinely don't know. I'd love to have a social. Face to face is better. Tell me something about herself that most people don't know. And also silly stuff. Just be yourself.

There's more to life than tits but it's a great place to start 😜👍🏾

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By *morousCouple8Couple
2 weeks ago

Cumbria

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them "

I recon I send as many as I receive. Mrs.

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By *irty scubyMan
2 weeks ago

Elphin

Never received a message from a woman, some couples but always the male!

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By *radienightsMan
2 weeks ago

Local

To date I have never received a message from a female that wasn't lead by me messaging first or in reply to a forum message.

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
2 weeks ago

Norwich

As near as makes no difference, zero. But that’s ok, it’s to be expected. The messages I did get which eventually led to meets were unsolicited. And generally well written and thoughtful.

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By *tannersMan
2 weeks ago

stanley

Most ladies who message me are fab buddies so it’s general how’s things type chat.😁

Occasionally I get messages from forum threads saying one of my posts has made them laugh or similar. This makes me happy.

On rare occasions I get messages telling me they like one of my pics and I should use it as my profile pic. This also make me happy.

What would I like to get? Maybe the odd flirty one, even if it just said “ hey Stanners for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re a knob, and if I’d had 7 cocktails I might just shag you”

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

I think that there can be various factors. A lot of women are still quite traditionalist and prefer to be messaged first. And then the ones who do, there might not be compatibility. For many reasons.

If you're not enjoying it for any prolonged period, take a break for a little bit. Come back refreshed, see what you can do to improve your experience on here. Being on here shouldn't leave you doubting yourself.

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By *hil most chillMan
2 weeks ago

London, South East & Europe

"Messages from new people I've never chatted with - maybe 10 a week if I'm particularly active on forums.

Half of these will be non-sexual, people just saying my profile gave them a laugh. The others might be flirty messages out of the blue or replies to messages I've sent.

I can't say I get rude or abusive messages, but sometimes I'll get very short, blunt ones, usually from couples where the man is writing.

And this is in no way consistent, week to week. Some weeks it's 0, others it's 10. Usually just depends on the effort I put in

Is it generally quite easy to spot the difference between the male/female tone?

Yeah generally the women put more effort into messaging and come across friendlier. With couples, if the man is messaging it often feels more like he's just trying to get something organised with the least amount of effort possible 🤣

And you're right, the forums are an amazing place to get your personality known and increase your reach.

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By *hilly1515Man
2 weeks ago

Don't get too many , usually they are fun and friendly,

the occasional, bloke pretending as couple or single female type now and then.

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By *avexxMan
2 weeks ago

cheshire

ive had a few but i dont expect to recieve many at my age

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Bristol

I get few messages from women.

The ones I do get are often pretty weak.

Like: "hi x" "you're cute"...

On the rare occasion I get an actual message from a woman I'm instantly worried it's actually a man 😭

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By *akeCoachDriverMan
2 weeks ago

west mosley

I don’t get any messages 🥴😂

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

"I get few messages from women.

The ones I do get are often pretty weak.

Like: "hi x" "you're cute"..."

I will agree with this. For all the shit a lot of women (not all) talk about put effort in to a message, no copy and paste blah blah blah a hell of a lot of them (not all) definitely cant pull it off either.

And yes this includes the heavily verified woman (not all) along side the potential men behind fake profiles.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
2 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"I don't get that many. A few handful. Mostly forum related. But no, not many at all. The odd strange message. But mostly just forum related or talking to old friends. "

Hey !! I'm not old !! 🤣🤣

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Honestly I'm alright just hanging around, tips on painting Warhammer would be welcomed..."

Probably not coming from women though.

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By *yprusdreamWoman
2 weeks ago

Cyprus

"Most ladies who message me are fab buddies so it’s general how’s things type chat.😁

Occasionally I get messages from forum threads saying one of my posts has made them laugh or similar. This makes me happy.

On rare occasions I get messages telling me they like one of my pics and I should use it as my profile pic. This also make me happy.

What would I like to get? Maybe the odd flirty one, even if it just said “ hey Stanners for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re a knob, and if I’d had 7 cocktails I might just shag you”"

Hey Stanners don't knock yourself I would after 5 cocktails

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By *unguy410Man
2 weeks ago

Cambridge

I get very few messages, but a fortnight ago I got two within a few hours which was a bit of a shock.

The first was relatively short from someone who had been on my hot list for a while. She didn't reply after I sent a face pic at her request.

The second was a much longer message from someone whose profile I'd seen earlier in the day and hot listed. She said what she was looking for which seemed to match what I'd like. There were a few messages back and forth and we seemed to get along. We progressed to a video call but didn't really click. Suspect me being shy and tired didn't help.

I think I prefer the messages with a little more detail. I see comments about people sending Hi/Hey as an opening message and really don't understand that.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

Well that kind of fucks my self esteem lol"

Noooo. Sorry about that! Should probably have given the thread a few more seconds thought before posting it ha.

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By *tannersMan
2 weeks ago

stanley

"Most ladies who message me are fab buddies so it’s general how’s things type chat.😁

Occasionally I get messages from forum threads saying one of my posts has made them laugh or similar. This makes me happy.

On rare occasions I get messages telling me they like one of my pics and I should use it as my profile pic. This also make me happy.

What would I like to get? Maybe the odd flirty one, even if it just said “ hey Stanners for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re a knob, and if I’d had 7 cocktails I might just shag you”

Hey Stanners don't knock yourself I would after 5 cocktails

I’m in 😘

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By *ulldog_71Man
2 weeks ago

Sedgefield

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

Well that kind of fucks my self esteem lol

Noooo. Sorry about that! Should probably have given the thread a few more seconds thought before posting it ha."

I'm sure I can cope lol

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By *ssexhung4funMan
2 weeks ago

Essex

Depends what I’ve been doing as to the kind of first message I receive from women. Generally all great, it’s a stark comparison to ones I receive from men 😂

I imagine women’s inboxes fill up like cesspits with terrible messages from guys so they don’t reach out as much, it’s understandable though

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS

Can't speak for all men. But I certainly don't get a lot of messages.

It's really hit and miss.

With the amount of guys on this site I'm guessing it's rare that a lot of guys will get messages.

I'd say it's more the top 10% of guys that will get messages. And the rest of the guys have to try their luck to be seen in the 1000 plus messages that women and couples get on a daily.

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By *akamineMan
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

Wait….what? Women send messages on here? Next thing you’ll be saying they can read them, reply and not just delete them.

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By *lirtyFilthWoman
2 weeks ago

Barnstaple

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

Well that kind of fucks my self esteem lol

Noooo. Sorry about that! Should probably have given the thread a few more seconds thought before posting it ha.

I'm sure I can cope lol"

Well some of us love you Bulldog. FAF? 🤣🤣

Oh sorry, wrong thread 🤣

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By *kphooey43Man
2 weeks ago

Barnet

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like? that."

Entertaining.

"Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?that."

Of 22 people who have messaged me, 8 are from woman - three of whom are friends (so we banter), the other five tend to be responses to comments in the Forum.

One couple have messaged me, but that is only to tell me to take a seat on the naughty step - they never follow up with a spanking, the teases.

"What kind of message *would* you like to get?"

Flirting would be nice, but it would probably go over my head. I think one of the messages from a woman was flirting, but I may have not realised and responded in my usual flippant manner.

One last week was the equivalent of FAF (she has messaged in the past in one of my earlier incarnations on Fab), unfortunately it wasn't convenient, whereas this weekend I might have taken her up on it.

It is actually nice just seeing a yellow envelope appear.

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By *tallionSamMan
2 weeks ago

Hugglescote

In a few years of being on the site I’ve had roughly 15/20 messages from couples and probably 5 from women. The thought and effort I put into messaging is not always reciprocated but always welcomed.

It’s a numbers game really, just like the national today you have to be in it to win it

And yes ladies I am Maximus

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I don't recieve many messages but it doesn't bother me.

Do you think the lack of "abhorrence" might be down to it stemming from the back of forum threads? They're not messaging you blind, so to speak (type)

" I like messages which are direct (because I'm "sign blind") and have a question or something obvious I can reply to to get things going. "
Yep, makes sense. Having to reply to a stale message is difficult. Questions are good (depending).

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I don't get that many. A few handful. Mostly forum related. But no, not many at all. The odd strange message. But mostly just forum related or talking to old friends. "

Would you like to get more or are you not fussed?

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I get few messages from women.

The ones I do get are often pretty weak.

Like: "hi x" "you're cute"...

On the rare occasion I get an actual message from a woman I'm instantly worried it's actually a man 😭"

I have zero doubt that women can send dull messages. Zero. Maybe they think more isn't needed because they own a vagina/gender imbalance.

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By *odgerMooreMan
2 weeks ago

Rummage Up The Jumper

The messages I receive all have one common thread - restraining orders!!

Occasionally I receive ones from ladies and they’re just normal conversation to either start a conversation or continue one… i never get ‘Fuck now!!’ And a pair of tits… closely followed by another message of ?????????? And then another saying im a fat unfuckable pig… then blocked. Which I suspect is the difference with women and messaging xx

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By *onin25Man
2 weeks ago

Durham

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Most of the ones I receive are flirty or trying to get to know me.

Most days it's zero messages from new people that I'm not already chatting to and not related to threads, plus the odd bloke wanting me to pound them. But one day I got about 10 messages from different women/couples that were of the initiate contact sort, that was a bit overwhelming, I'm not great at multitasking.

I like flirty messages and ones where we are getting to know each other and finding out what things we like to do, and that's not just sexy stuff.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
2 weeks ago

North West

"I don't get that many. A few handful. Mostly forum related. But no, not many at all. The odd strange message. But mostly just forum related or talking to old friends.

Would you like to get more or are you not fussed?"

Sometimes I think I would like getting more. But I know the number of messages ladies on here get is horrific. So other times, I'm glad I don't get bombarded. If that makes sense? Conflicted I know.

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By *newtoscene!Couple
2 weeks ago

derbyish

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that.

Don't know haha.

Nah.

Honestly I'm alright just hanging around, tips on painting Warhammer would be welcomed..."

If a woman messaged me with unsolicited 40K or blood bowl pics I would be putty in their hands.

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By *eroLondonMan
2 weeks ago

Mayfair

Overall it's about 50 per week. However, being realistic and setting aside the numerous messages from forum dwellers - I receive about four messages per week from women. In relative terms that's more than sufficient.

The general standard of messages are exemplary, some verbose and some quite succinct, but all meaningful and clean apart from the odd pussy photo that lands in my inbox every once in a while.

The general 'theme' of the messages are "refreshing profile", "it's a shame you're far away", "I like you bio", "I find myself re-visiting your profile"...etc

What kind of message/s would I like to get? Anything that resembles the above, and which contains substance and shows that they have read my profile. I like it when they quote something from my profile, no matter how absurd because there's plenty in my profile that can be deconstructed.

Sometimes it's not the message that's important but the person (or profile) who's sending it. I can be attracted or intrigued by similarities between our mutual profiles.

Most (not all) messages are from non-forum women who are lurking in the forums and have seen me posting.

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS

Before I blocked men I'd get around 20 on the average day. None from women.

But since I've blocked men... I'd say that's dropped about 1 maybe 2 a week from women and couples

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Do you mean they message me first? Incredibly rare. And usually it's about something happening on the forums, a challenge or a discussion and they want to have a private convo about it. I'm happy to have a chat. "

Yep, them messaging you first. Could be a new person, someone you've not spoken to for awhile. Women proactively messaging.

"I don't think I've received any overly sexual messages from a lady. Maybe a bit of flirting after we've had a chat on the forums. No random tit pics or vag pics (is that a thing?) "

Not that I know of. I send a friend random tit pics but I don't think it's commonplace. Maybe you should start a campaign for it to be? Men deserve unsolicited nudes too. 🩷

"I think the emphasis is still on the men to approach women. "
Yep,that's whant I was thinking about when I started the thread. Strong agree with that. 😊

"I would love to have a decent conversation with a lady, maybe about a shared interest or something they like about me. Or some shameless flirting. Or telling me if they are actually into me because I genuinely don't know. I'd love to have a social. Face to face is better. Tell me something about herself that most people don't know. And also silly stuff. Just be yourself.

There's more to life than tits but it's a great place to start 😜👍🏾"
Shared interests are a great starting place, I hope you find that Shams. You're a genuinely lovely man. 😘

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"As near as makes no difference, zero. But that’s ok, it’s to be expected. The messages I did get which eventually led to meets were unsolicited. And generally well written and thoughtful. "

That's a really positive take on it, being a single male on here could potentially be a bit disheartening. I think most of the time if a woman (a real woman) was messaging it's because they're genuinely interested, rather than a more scattergun approach (there will be women who do that).

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS

Women don't really have any need to message men on here. They receive hundreds of messages a day. So they just have to filter through what they already have and then take their pick.

Odds are every guy within a 10 mile radius has already messaged them anyway

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By *rightonsteveMan
2 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

They are usually interesting, friendly and not at all saucy. I’m keen to get an ‘in-ya-face’ sexualised ‘show us ya cock’ type thing from a lady, but I never do, sort of ‘phwooaaar! Show us your ball sack, ya hunk, your 4 April pic makes me wetter than a mens public urinal floor’

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"What would I like to get? Maybe the odd flirty one, even if it just said “ hey Stanners for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re a knob, and if I’d had 7 cocktails I might just shag you”"

Set the bar a bit higher, Stanners, come on now. 4 cocktails max. Don't do yourself a disservice like that. 🩷

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By *rWolf619Man
2 weeks ago

Derbyshire

If it happens I'll let you know 😅

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

"They are usually interesting, friendly and not at all saucy. I’m keen to get an ‘in-ya-face’ sexualised ‘show us ya cock’ type thing from a lady, but I never do, sort of ‘phwooaaar! Show us your ball sack, ya hunk, your 4 April pic makes me wetter than a mens public urinal floor’ "

It's just piss! 😎

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Depends what I’ve been doing as to the kind of first message I receive from women. Generally all great, it’s a stark comparison to ones I receive from men 😂

I imagine women’s inboxes fill up like cesspits with terrible messages from guys so they don’t reach out as much, it’s understandable though"

Cesspits. 😅 No, men aren't all bad. Most aren't. Filters really help improve an experience.

It's interesting you said depends on what you're doing - being active on the forum helps? Have you found any difference in content with different photos displayed? Not sure if that's applicable for men.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I get very few messages, but a fortnight ago I got two within a few hours which was a bit of a shock.

....There were a few messages back and forth and we seemed to get along. We progressed to a video call but didn't really click. Suspect me being shy and tired didn't help.

....I see comments about people sending Hi/Hey as an opening message and really don't understand that."

It's kind of lazy, testing the waters, not wanting to do more isn't it?

Tired can't be helped, if there's no click there isn't one. Hopefully you get another good shock soon.

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 weeks ago

London

It's a mix, Meli. Some good, some bad. Some long, some short. Some women waffle, some don't 😉.

Helpful, I know.

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By *iddle aged and chubbyMan
2 weeks ago

Shefford

Very few messages from ladies, and those that I do get, ALWAYS gets a reply from me. Mostly then I get ignored from that sender!

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By *tlanshiaWoman
2 weeks ago

Chatham

I’ve had a few messages from women first, but they generally turn out to be fake profiles.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Filth

Not many

Filth but so something pleasant now and again. Maybe a boob pic or a tease. You know, the usual wank material

It was a pleasure to be of service, Meli."

Women you've never spoken to send filth? Or is filth from previous filthsters?

Thank you Kaisy, really appreciate it. 😘

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By *onko the SaneMan
2 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

Fee and far between

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"I'd say it's more the top 10% of guys that will get messages. And the rest of the guys have to try their luck to be seen in the 1000 plus messages that women and couples get on a daily. "

Ah that's an interesting theory.

Thousand plus might be erring towards exaggeration but hey, it's a theory.

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By *r and Mrs CACACouple
2 weeks ago

congleton

Mr C here, I don’t get messages

We do, mostly interest in the wife till they see more pics of us

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By *ib.Man
2 weeks ago

Hampshire

Desperation and vaj pics.

Maybe a decent recipe for something I haven't cooked yet too.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"One last week was the equivalent of FAF (she has messaged in the past in one of my earlier incarnations on Fab), unfortunately it wasn't convenient, whereas this weekend I might have taken her up on it.

It is actually nice just seeing a yellow envelope appear.

You got a FaF message? Oh, you lucky so and so! I've never had one. Well, not that's been taken seriously. Bad news about the timing but there'll be other yellow envelopes with intent, Phooey. 🤞🏼

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By *mpishMan
2 weeks ago

Lincoln

Few and far between (though I’ve only just started using the site again). I think as a single male, it’s going to be rare to be approached on here, got a better chance as a couple.

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

" Occasionally I receive ones from ladies and they’re just normal conversation to either start a conversation or continue one… i never get ‘Fuck now!!’ And a pair of tits… closely followed by another message of ?????????? And then another saying im a fat unfuckable pig… then blocked. Which I suspect is the difference with women and messaging xx "

You're sounding almost disappointed there, Todger; if you'd like I could roleplay a clichéd exchange so you know the exhilarating highs and crashing lows of the one sided conversation? 🩷

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By *3dwoodMan
2 weeks ago

London

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

What’s the standard like? They are often short and consisting of ok a lot.

1 a week, if I’m lucky.

I’d love to get a hey, what’s up, like the profile or like the pics but I rarely get a message first

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 11/04/26 18:51:25]

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Filth

Not many

Filth but so something pleasant now and again. Maybe a boob pic or a tease. You know, the usual wank material

It was a pleasure to be of service, Meli.

Women you've never spoken to send filth? Or is filth from previous filthsters?

Thank you Kaisy, really appreciate it. 😘"

Oh, previous filthsters. You know the type.

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By *kphooey43Man
2 weeks ago

Barnet

It is actually nice just seeing a yellow envelope appear.

It started with the innocuous Fancy a meet, followed by Free this weekend and the marvellous Fuck me then!

Each sentence starting with an F, and all very direct.

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By *ontyboi76Man
2 weeks ago

Pontypridd

Never been messaged first by a woman. Frequency of replies to my messages is a few a week.

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By *agic.MMan
2 weeks ago

Orpington

I guess I get more messages from women than your average guy on fab, and they mostly just compliment my content / moves / looks...which is always welcomed. Sometimes I do get the odd "Hey" or "Hi" and they just expect me to lead the conversation , which I rarely entertain...or the "I don't usually go for someone below 6', but in your case I'd make an exception "...and these really annoy me, so mostly just ignore.

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By *J2530Man
2 weeks ago

Blackpool

In 4 months I received 3 messages from women, 1 started a conversation, the other 2 no more replies after my message.

I understand that many men do not know how to behave but it would be nice to have, at least, the chance to have a conversation.

I m starting to believe that fab is like dating apps: very few men get all the attention, the rest are doomed.

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By *hlongasaurus_rexMan
2 weeks ago

Skelmersdale

For me I get one message a month. I do try and stand out with my messages which is pretty difficult for a guy who stands above the crowd anyway. However I do understand there's obviously a huge ratio between men and women on here

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By *oeBeansMan
2 weeks ago

Derby

In terms of messages from new people, maybe once a month or every couple of months but there can be people I chatted to daily. Some of the messages aren't great and quickly fizzle out but others can be great for establishing a connection.

I think the type of message I like to receive would be one to indicate an active interest in our chat leading to a meet rather than just because they liked my profile and chatting for the sake of it.

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By *aitonelMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

Meli. Nobody took my hint so slip boobs in to my inbox.

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
2 weeks ago

(User no longer on site)

Women never message me first, I assume it's because they're all intimidated by my handsomeness. 😁

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By *he MinionMan
2 weeks ago

Its normally pretty relaxing. I like my feet being done if i have to be absolutely honest but its a brave lady that goes there.

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By *he MinionMan
2 weeks ago

Oh message..

Thought it said massage

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By *obbo2022Man
2 weeks ago

top of little hill near bishop

i get no messages off women or couples as i’m openly bisexual puts women and couples

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By *ew2buryMan
2 weeks ago

Newbury

Outside of forum messages ...

🦗 🦗

(But then my bio sucks more than a glory hole addict and I just have the one pic)

The forum messages are top notch 🎯

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Desperation and vaj pics.

Maybe a decent recipe for something I haven't cooked yet too."

Are these messages you want or receive? Regardless, thanks for bringing your avatar to the thread. 😘

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By *eli OP Woman
2 weeks ago

"Meli. Nobody took my hint so slip boobs in to my inbox.

No, don't try and option B me. (🤗)

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By *cottish guy 555Man
2 weeks ago

London

It's always a pleasant surprise when it happens.

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By *tannersMan
2 weeks ago

stanley

"What would I like to get? Maybe the odd flirty one, even if it just said “ hey Stanners for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re a knob, and if I’d had 7 cocktails I might just shag you”

Set the bar a bit higher, Stanners, come on now. 4 cocktails max. Don't do yourself a disservice like that. 🩷"

Thank you 😘

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By *ulldog_71Man
2 weeks ago

Sedgefield

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them

Ha, they do. And can. I think. Yeah, course they do. If the profile is one they want to. Such demanding creatures, women.

Well that kind of fucks my self esteem lol

Noooo. Sorry about that! Should probably have given the thread a few more seconds thought before posting it ha.

I'm sure I can cope lol

Well some of us love you Bulldog. FAF? 🤣🤣

Oh sorry, wrong thread 🤣"

Thank you and you know the answer is always yes yes yes

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By *radually_RetiringMan
2 weeks ago

Bury

Women send messages? Really?!

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By *mready67Man
2 weeks ago

Glasgow

I’ll get a message once in a blue moon. Not often at all. Honestly would like it to just be something simple, funny and just what they’re looking for. Just anything other than ‘hi’

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By *hams123Man
2 weeks ago

London

Yep, them messaging you first. Could be a new person, someone you've not spoken to for awhile. Women proactively messaging.

I don't think I've received any overly sexual messages from a lady. Maybe a bit of flirting after we've had a chat on the forums. No random tit pics or vag pics (is that a thing?)

Not that I know of. I send a friend random tit pics but I don't think it's commonplace. Maybe you should start a campaign for it to be? Men deserve unsolicited nudes too. 🩷

I think the emphasis is still on the men to approach women. Yep,that's whant I was thinking about when I started the thread. Strong agree with that. 😊

There's more to life than tits but it's a great place to start 😜👍🏾 Shared interests are a great starting place, I hope you find that Shams. You're a genuinely lovely man. 😘"

Thank you very much. I think you're a lovely lady. Your recent profile pictures have been eye catching. Your voice melts me. 😘

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By *dam1971Man
2 weeks ago

Bedford

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like? "

Variable… most are saying something funny and intelligent about a forum post or something on my profile. Occasionally I’ll get one from someone who insists I’m married, whereas the real reason I won’t meet her is because she’s horrible.

"Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?"

A few a year.

"What kind of message *would* you like to get?"

Something that sparks a conversation where she makes me laugh, or think more about a topic. Or sends me boob pics, natch.

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By *layfullsamMan
2 weeks ago

Solihull

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Never get any first messages

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By *ldbikerider6Man
2 weeks ago

Sheffield

I'm lucky if I get one a month from women who I don't chat with on a regular basis.

I do get some replies to my messages but a lot just say Hi and then nothing else or just 1 word replies.

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By *olo180Man
2 weeks ago

Greater London

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Just logged on.

Very very very rarely receive a message from a woman that I haven’t winked or sent a message too. Any guys that say they receive 1 or more messages a week from women first are either very lucky, have exceptional profiles or lying 🤥

I don’t think women need to send first messages tbh

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By *offiacoolWoman
2 weeks ago

Alsager

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that.

Never get any first messages "

You did some years ago when I mailed you.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that.

Never get any first messages

You did some years ago when I mailed you."

Ooops !

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By *arylRMan
2 weeks ago

What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

On the rare occasion that it happens, polite.

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

Not at all unfortunately

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

One that would start a conversation hopefully

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By *eenALongTime.....Man
2 weeks ago

......

Very rare I get a message unless it's a reply.

Lots rarely get a reply but I get it here, it can be a sausage fest and men are generally less picky than women!

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By *laytime_13Woman
2 weeks ago

Lincs

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

A few a year.

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

Something that sparks a conversation where she makes me laugh, or think more about a topic. Or sends me boob pics, natch."

I haven't heard 'natch' used in quite some time, nice bit of nostalgia going on now

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By *ornyperv100Man
1 week ago

Paddock wood

Most of the messages I get are from other guys to chat about horny wants or likes and the rare times I get a message from a lady it's normally about their sub/cuck needing to be shown/put in his place.

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By *ercuryMikeMan
1 week ago

Newtown / Oswestry

What women can send messages on here?

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By *O97Man
1 week ago

Don’t tend to get any messages from women 🤷🏼haha

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By *haun1973!Man
1 week ago

g75

Usually it’s nice smile😀..but even though my profile says straight..a lot of messages from guys ?🤯

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By *ffable but naughtyMan
1 week ago

Milnrow, Rochdale

If I get a message its usually no thanks. Usually get deleted

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By *haft10Man
1 week ago

Wandsworth

That depends, do couples count? It also depends on whether I choose to show my verification or if I go to a party.

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By *amesB66Man
1 week ago

St Peter Port

Morning Meli,

Genuinely unsolicited messages from women are extremely rare and only from those that are coming across to Guernsey for work, or a break and have read my verifications.

Virtually no local ones and if I get one from a profile with no photo, I do instantly suspect it's from a man...the 'tone', as you say, is often different.

Happy Sunday

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By *ustincider888Man
1 week ago

Chorley

First approach messages are rare from both females and couples, when I get them, they're usually more articulate than when a bloke pretending to be female messages

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By *ilbzMan
1 week ago

Swindon Wiltshire

Wait…..you can receive messages on here…!! 🤣

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By *aventdecidedyetMan
1 week ago

Birmingham

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Don’t get any messages from women always seems to be men asking if I’m free now

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By *isser44Man
1 week ago

fylde Coast

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Few and far between would be my honest answer, but generally depends how active i am on the site, participating in the forums etc.

Messages from women or couples that I haven't messaged first....rarely. a handful in a year if that. But they are generally of a good standard, they have read my profile and are genuinely interested, ask questions and are engaged. Of course there is the odd "hi" message and one word responses that are frankly boring.

What would I like to receive? If they have read my profile, share an interest and are open to expressing their interests / wants / needs , stay engaged in the conversation and dont just disappeared without another word spoken....that would be brilliant!

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By *onmouthshire ManMan
1 week ago

Newport/Cardiff

My monthly message about my subscription running out is the high (ohhhhhh a message at last) ohhhhhh the low (it’s from Admin asking for money).

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By *rightonsteveMan
1 week ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that.

Don’t get any messages from women always seems to be men asking if I’m free now "

And are you?

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By *isser44Man
1 week ago

fylde Coast

"My monthly message about my subscription running out is the high (ohhhhhh a message at last) ohhhhhh the low (it’s from Admin asking for money)."

Haha I feel this one

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By *ommymaxMan
1 week ago

Leigh

Could count on 1 hand the amount of times iv recieved a message from a lady first..

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By *om_38Man
1 week ago

stoke

Became very apparent after joining fab that ladies don’t tend to message first and that’s ok… knowing the ratio of men to women on here.. but the ver few I’ve had have always been polite

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By *pthillMan
1 week ago

st shithole

Zero

Fuckin zero

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
1 week ago

Telford

I can't even remember the last time a single woman sent me the first message, if it has even happened.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Outside of forum messages ...

🦗 🦗

(But then my bio sucks more than a glory hole addict and I just have the one pic)

The forum messages are top notch 🎯"

I like the self awareness, yeah one pic and a poor bio probably won't get you far. Yay for the forums! It's a great way to display personality.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Women never message me first, I assume it's because they're all intimidated by my handsomeness. 😁"

Let's go with handsomeness intimidation, it's a Sunday. 🩷

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"I guess I get more messages from women than your average guy on fab, and they mostly just compliment my content / moves / looks...which is always welcomed. Sometimes I do get the odd "Hey" or "Hi" and they just expect me to lead the conversation , which I rarely entertain...or the "I don't usually go for someone below 6', but in your case I'd make an exception "...and these really annoy me, so mostly just ignore. "

"I don't usually" is so very grim, yeah, no one could blame you for ignoring that drivel.

Women can be quite passive sometimes, can't they? I say this as a woman who ends up taking the lead when dating women.

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By *umfun24Man
1 week ago

wilmslow

I have only once had the first message come from a woman and that was too good to be true, and was some sort of scam.

Replies can be curt, as little as “face pic” which I don’t reply to. There does seem to be a lot of urgency in replies. Probably from a very full inbox and sorting the wheat from the chaff, which feels awkward.

I love engaging messages. It’s not all about sex, sometimes it’s just great to chat openly. Where in life are we able to just say what is actually going on in our heads.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

But you deserve the sauce, Steve-o. All the sauce. Do you think you'd respond well to sauciness straight off the bat or are you more likely to think it's a man?

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By *hyKentGuyMan
1 week ago

sheerness

I don’t even get a woman’s reply to anything I say on the forums let alone a DM! lol

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By *appy-go- luckyMan
1 week ago

pothole city

Most messages I receive from woman are pretty basic ie are you into such and such.

I cant say that i get many messages. It all depends on how much Ive interacted on the forums.

I much prefer a nice flirty opening message than a dirty sexual one. Once conversation has started to flow then it’s all good.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"I don’t even get a woman’s reply to anything I say on the forums let alone a DM! lol"

You're not entitled to a reply. On the forums. In private messages. Or DMs.

Quite blunt but it's also sadly(ish) true.

If women aren't replying to you in DMs, that's a whole other thread I'm not touching.

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
1 week ago

(User no longer on site)

"Women never message me first, I assume it's because they're all intimidated by my handsomeness. 😁

Let's go with handsomeness intimidation, it's a Sunday. 🩷"

Thanks. 🫶🏼

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By *hyKentGuyMan
1 week ago

sheerness

"I don’t even get a woman’s reply to anything I say on the forums let alone a DM! lol

You're not entitled to a reply. On the forums. In private messages. Or DMs.

Quite blunt but it's also sadly(ish) true.

If women aren't replying to you in DMs, that's a whole other thread I'm not touching.

Straight to the point! Thanks! lol

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Morning Meli,

Genuinely unsolicited messages from women are extremely rare and only from those that are coming across to Guernsey for work, or a break and have read my verifications.

Virtually no local ones and if I get one from a profile with no photo, I do instantly suspect it's from a man...the 'tone', as you say, is often different.

Happy Sunday

Morning James.

Ah, island living's downside. Yes, getting to Guernsey is a bit different from someone in Manchester talking to a Scouser.

Tone and context yes. Someone earlier posted about it being less friendly, more to the point? When there's a tonal difference that's true.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

Oh and Happy Sunday, James. 🤗

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
1 week ago

Telford

And to answer your other question Meli, that I definitely did not miss the first time round:

First off I would like to receive*some* messages in the first place

But other than that, just a nice introduction, what caught their eye and maybe some mention of my non-sexual interests that I've put on my profile.

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By *evilinyouMan
1 week ago

Bristol

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

*It became three. Sorry about that."

Wait there are men that received messages from women 1st...... This is big news to me

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By *eorge AtazderMan
1 week ago

Exeter

Genuinely I only get messages off the back of specific forum threads but it’s always been like that.

The very rare occasions where a woman has messaged me first I end up being suspicious as they usually come across the same way as men messaging me.

What would I like? Something more than ‘Hi, wuu2’ would be great.

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By *hyKentGuyMan
1 week ago

sheerness

[Removed by poster at 12/04/26 08:53:54]

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By *hyKentGuyMan
1 week ago

sheerness

"Genuinely I only get messages off the back of specific forum threads but it’s always been like that.

The very rare occasions where a woman has messaged me first I end up being suspicious as they usually come across the same way as men messaging me.

What would I like? Something more than ‘Hi, wuu2’ would be great."

I am also shocked at hearing this!…lol

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By *mwirralMan
1 week ago

surrey

Get occasional messages from woman or the female of a couple.

As In everything the messages vary depending what they are looking for in the connection

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By *vonne5exMan
1 week ago

Doncaster

I'll go along with 95% of the comments and I'll put the others in the same box as the curvy no photo females profiles who on their status claim to have 100s of messages to sort through

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"For me I get one message a month. I do try and stand out with my messages which is pretty difficult for a guy who stands above the crowd anyway. However I do understand there's obviously a huge ratio between men and women on here"

There's a huge ratio. Attitudes and beliefs towards who messages first. And there has to be actual interest in a person's bio. Personally speaking, if I read someone's bio and I'm not interested in talking to them, I don't.

Quite a few things in order to get a message, whereas with some women owning a vagina is enough.

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By *artorialMan
1 week ago

weymouth

Tbh an initial contact is so rare I've forgotten, most are in response to a message from me and that response (if any) varies greatly so it's difficult to stereotype

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By *indaCharmingDubMan
1 week ago

South Dublin

"1 - What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

2 - Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

3 - What kind of message *would* you like to get?"

1 - I did actually get a message from a woman this month, and we're chatting, so that's a turn up for the books! Her first message was a lovely response to something I posted in the forums. It's a rarity though.

2 - overwhelming majority of my unsolicited messages come from over-eager fellas who haven't read my profile, and are of the standard you'd expect 🫣

3 - like most fellas a short genuine message from any woman is going to spark my interest, particularly if she drops in some detail from my profile or a forum post that shows we have common interests for some chats.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"In terms of messages from new people, maybe once a month or every couple of months but there can be people I chatted to daily. Some of the messages aren't great and quickly fizzle out but others can be great for establishing a connection.

I think the type of message I like to receive would be one to indicate an active interest in our chat leading to a meet rather than just because they liked my profile and chatting for the sake of it."

You get not great messages from women?

No, that tracks. Do the women ever expect you to reply to their dull messages? Get annoyed if you don't?

I'm not sure people would know they want to meet you before they've spoken, maybe the liking your profile is a subtle *in* without fafing.

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By *at200Man
1 week ago

Maldon

Very rare to get a message from a woman

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Usually it’s nice smile😀..but even though my profile says straight..a lot of messages from guys ?🤯"

Filter out men. Don't expect them (all) to read your profile and consider if you're compatible beyond having an orifice for their penis.

Simple life. 😊

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Just logged on.

I don’t think women need to send first messages tbh "

They don't need to but it's also good when women do. Because they're choosing to. Actively choosing to message.

I don't know if it's luck. Or exceptional profiles. Or lying. Maybe a fairly decent profile helps - a few photos and a sentence or two compared to someone who has taken the time and effort to build theirs - yeah, I can guess who would receive more messages.

There's also age, looks, marital status (some women won't meet those who are cheating), lots of others things at play.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
1 week ago

Glasgow / London / Manchester

I get three kinds of ‘first messages’ from women (and couples):

1. Conversational, from a forum thread.

2. Complimentary, saying they like something about my profile or photos.

3. Confusing, one or two word messages with no effort and nothing for me to go on.

I tend to ignore the third kind.

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By *rivervaderMan
1 week ago

bolton

Very rare get any message. Would prefer a no thanx than just not read though

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By *2000ManMan
1 week ago

Worthing

I get loads of messages daily from different women.

Decent 8/10 that one gents....wish me luck!

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By *an ClioCouple
1 week ago

Boston

Still waiting for a message for me, but she gets quite a few. I kindly re-direct them to the correct recipient.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
1 week ago

Isle of Man

"What women can send messages too I assumed only men can send them "

Ive sent quite a few as the first message, had one reply i think

So it goes both ways tbh

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By *lways BeardedMan
1 week ago

Wetherby

Depends. If I've been to a club I get messages from women that saw me or watched me there. Mostly commenting about the growls/sounds I make.

And Inbetween clubs its usually fake profiles, the occasional couple and the fake couple profiles meaning just blokes pretending to be the woman.

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By *ouncerbiscuitMan
1 week ago

nottingham

Don’t get too many just hear the perv a laugh in forums have a couple of female friends . We joke on here

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By *ilverIrishFox4minxMan
1 week ago

Beckenham

Generally not many received emails from women. If it is it’s usually invites to parties that I have to pay for or spam.

If couples email it’s clearly the male wanting to play solo and probably not on as a couple.

I get more messages from men harassing me than anything.

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By *ilverIrishFox4minxMan
1 week ago

Beckenham

I was actually thinking would this site be any better if men see banned from emailing first? The women and couples have to make the first move, we can only wink to initiate? Probably cut down the flooding of womens emails.

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By *rafter69Man
1 week ago

upminster

I receive alot more messages from women and couples much more now than I ever used to. These are from local and afar which to be honest is very rewarding on my part.

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By *isterE91Man
1 week ago

Bristol

Generally, Short responses from most.

Similar to others I get more if I'm active in the forums, although putting up regular status updates has helped and led to a lovely woman messaging me. Although paranoid I'm at the bottom of a mass of messages now :/

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"1 - I did actually get a message from a woman this month, and we're chatting, so that's a turn up for the books! Her first message was a lovely response to something I posted in the forums. It's a rarity though. "
Yaaay! What a turn up. I think the forums can be an easy way to start interacting with someone. Less pressure in a way.

"2 - overwhelming majority of my unsolicited messages come from over-eager fellas who haven't read my profile, and are of the standard you'd expect 🫣"
Yeaaah... nuff said.

"3 - like most fellas a short genuine message from any woman is going to spark my interest, particularly if she drops in some detail from my profile or a forum post that shows we have common interests for some chats."

If a woman messaged you straight off the bat with something sexual would you still reply?

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"Generally, Short responses from most.

Don't overthink it, that way madness lies. I hope the status updates keep leading to positive interactions. 😊

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"I was actually thinking would this site be any better if men see banned from emailing first? The women and couples have to make the first move, we can only wink to initiate? Probably cut down the flooding of womens emails."

Ah, Bumbleesque? I don't think so; there'd be a lot of winkers wondering why they're not getting messages and then getting frustrated/angry when they don't. It won't improve the gender imbalance. Nor will it create the cultural shift where the onus is on the woman to be pro rather than re active.

Maybe it would be a more pleasant experience for women and couples but can you imagine the forums? The threads started? They'd be far less enjoyable.

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By *oiluvfunMan
1 week ago

Penrith

"What's the general standard of messages you receive from women like?

Short, to the point, cagey, untrusting, sporadic, difficult to keep a conversation flowing with? The ubiquitous “Lol x” is a conversation killer…

Do you get many messages in a day/month/year?

No, I live in a Fab-desolate area, so few opportunities for me here.

What kind of message *would* you like to get?

After 14 years of using Fab, I would be gobsmacked if a woman messaged me first…

*It became three. Sorry about that."

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By *ilverIrishFox4minxMan
1 week ago

Beckenham

Maybe it would be a more pleasant experience for women and couples but can you imagine the forums? The threads started? They'd be far less enjoyable."

The threads could be fixed in a way you can filter out what you don’t want to see I am thinking. I get there are options to block emails already but I feel sorry for new joiners who insatndy have over 100 emails within a couple of hours of joining

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By *olo180Man
1 week ago

Greater London

"Just logged on.

I don’t think women need to send first messages tbh

They don't need to but it's also good when women do. Because they're choosing to. Actively choosing to message.

There's also age, looks, marital status (some women won't meet those who are cheating), lots of others things at play. "

I have a decent profile, tasteful pics and interact on the forums so 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By (user no longer on site)
1 week ago

Based on the few times I’ve been on Fab, I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman message me first on here.

In terms of quality of replies, it really depends and again they are few and often far between. I’ve met a couple of ladies that I’ve really vibed with and the conversations were great, but more often than not it’ll be a single sentence reply. I get it though, you ladies get absolutely hammered with messages so I’m not hating on anyone

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"I have a decent profile, tasteful pics and interact on the forums so 🤷🏻‍♂️"

Apologies, it wasn't directed at you personally, more the idea of luck and "exceptional" profiles being needed. Oh and men lying about the amount of messages.

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"The threads could be fixed in a way you can filter out what you don’t want to see I am thinking. I get there are options to block emails already but I feel sorry for new joiners who insatndy have over 100 emails within a couple of hours of joining "

Filters should be opt out, rather than in, yeah that could make a difference.

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By *olo180Man
1 week ago

Greater London

"I have a decent profile, tasteful pics and interact on the forums so 🤷🏻‍♂️

Apologies, it wasn't directed at you personally, more the idea of luck and "exceptional" profiles being needed. Oh and men lying about the amount of messages. "

No offence taken at all. My point was that I tick all the boxes but wouldn’t receive messages first. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact. I do believe part of it is luck or just timing x

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By *isterE91Man
1 week ago

Bristol

"Generally, Short responses from most.

Don't overthink it, that way madness lies. I hope the status updates keep leading to positive interactions. 😊"

Thank you

just hear stories about women receiving thousands of messages etc

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By *adyBugsWoman
1 week ago

not local even if it says I am

I messaged first on a Male profile yesterday, complimented his profile. We had a lovely chat. Then he’s disappeared 😭 this is why I as a woman don’t usually make the first move… 💔

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By *olo180Man
1 week ago

Greater London

"I messaged first on a Male profile yesterday, complimented his profile. We had a lovely chat. Then he’s disappeared 😭 this is why I as a woman don’t usually make the first move… 💔"

This makes me go 😫

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

"I messaged first on a Male profile yesterday, complimented his profile. We had a lovely chat. Then he’s disappeared 😭 this is why I as a woman don’t usually make the first move… 💔"

Ah. As a woman I would still make the first move. One person leaves the site. Doesn't reply etc. Life goes on.

If men were to not make a first move after one person not responding in a way they'd hope... it would all fall down pretty quickly. Finding ways to handle disappointment can help. I do get that we all process, handle things differently but you're potentially missing out on something because one man decided the site wasn't for him. 🤗

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By *adyBugsWoman
1 week ago

not local even if it says I am

To be honest Melilicious he may have got B A N N E D as I think he was a bit of a bad boy 😈

Damn my kryptonite 😆

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By *eli OP Woman
1 week ago

Not the bad boy trope. 🤢

Men, thank you for sharing. 🩷

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