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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester

In the UK, the ratio of men to women on dating sites is 3 to 1, and on sites for people looking for sex I'd guess the ratio is even larger. As for the population as a whole the ratio is 1 to 1.

So, I'm curious about this. Two things come to mind straight away.

1. Because of the disparity between men and women, women become more selective than in everyday life and men become less choosey.

2. If we apply this data to the population as a whole (even assuming the ratios are lower), does this mean there are more women who choose to be single and whose main priorities outweigh there need for sex or a sexual partner.

Are the figures skewed because the are so many cheating men on these sites or is it fact.

I really would be interested in your thoughts on this.

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By *eroLondonMan
2 weeks ago

Mayfair

I fail to see the correlation between everything you've said and then "cheating men".

Pound for pound I would guess there are just as many cheating women on here but they don't shout it across the rooftops in their profiles, the fora or status updates.

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester

On reflection I see your point about the correlation to cheating men. Thank you for highlighting this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"In the UK, the ratio of men to women on dating sites is 3 to 1, and on sites for people looking for sex I'd guess the ratio is even larger. As for the population as a whole the ratio is 1 to 1.

So, I'm curious about this. Two things come to mind straight away.

1. Because of the disparity between men and women, women become more selective than in everyday life and men become less choosey.

2. If we apply this data to the population as a whole (even assuming the ratios are lower), does this mean there are more women who choose to be single and whose main priorities outweigh there need for sex or a sexual partner.

Are the figures skewed because the are so many cheating men on these sites or is it fact.

I really would be interested in your thoughts on this."

ratio of 1:1 in the population as whole, is that looking for sex or looking to date? Are there an equal number if men and women in the population?

I don't know if more women prioritise other things over sex or dating but i don't think they become more selective. Most women I know become sure of what they want in a guy after one or two false starts. I think it's a myth that men become less choosy on general although I'm sure one or two do

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester

The ratio of 1 to 1 is in the population as a whole according to the last census.

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester

Their is some evidence about being more selective or less choosey based on surveys, but I don't know how valid these are as regard to numbers involved and whether they are large enough to extrapolats to the group as a whole.

I do welcome all your views.

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
2 weeks ago

South glos

There’s too much worry and emphasis on how to beat the dating the apps as a man, but the best way to beat them is to not use them and to put the time into meeting people in real life instead. It’s not that hard nowadays as there’s lots of meet up/ hobby groups, singles nights etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago


"In the UK, the ratio of men to women on dating sites is 3 to 1, and on sites for people looking for sex I'd guess the ratio is even larger. As for the population as a whole the ratio is 1 to 1.

So, I'm curious about this. Two things come to mind straight away.

1. Because of the disparity between men and women, women become more selective than in everyday life and men become less choosey.

2. If we apply this data to the population as a whole (even assuming the ratios are lower), does this mean there are more women who choose to be single and whose main priorities outweigh there need for sex or a sexual partner.

Are the figures skewed because the are so many cheating men on these sites or is it fact.

I really would be interested in your thoughts on this."

The simplest answer is usually the right one. And that is - more men join sites than women. Doesn’t need to be any deeper than that.

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester


"There’s too much worry and emphasis on how to beat the dating the apps as a man, but the best way to beat them is to not use them and to put the time into meeting people in real life instead. It’s not that hard nowadays as there’s lots of meet up/ hobby groups, singles nights etc. "

I did not post this as a comment on how to beat the dating apps as a man. It's simply a post about statistics that I have read and why this is such. I know that the best way to meet someone in real life, but many do use apps as a way of dating and as such I'm curious about the figures and was interested in people's opinions as to why that is.

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
2 weeks ago

South glos

Well you got my opinion on it 🤣

Your post was very caught up in the numbers of it all tbf and I just think it’s a waste of time to get caught up in all that 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

I can tell you why as a woman I would never use a dating app.

Too many liars

Too many preying on the vulnerable

Too many saying they want what you want when they really don't

Too many just being awful.

This applies to men and women .

To be fair it was the same meeting face to face in the olden days but at least you could see who was in front of you and ascertain that they were at least approximately the age and weight they claimed to be. Also you usually were meeting from within a limited pool of people and you knew who was partnered and who wasn't, who was likely to clear off after you slept with them etc. Nowadays you can be anyone you want to be

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
2 weeks ago

Reading

I think women are more happily single than men. In general.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I can tell you why as a woman I would never use a dating app.

Too many liars

Too many preying on the vulnerable

Too many saying they want what you want when they really don't

Too many just being awful.

This applies to men and women .

To be fair it was the same meeting face to face in the olden days but at least you could see who was in front of you and ascertain that they were at least approximately the age and weight they claimed to be. Also you usually were meeting from within a limited pool of people and you knew who was partnered and who wasn't, who was likely to clear off after you slept with them etc. Nowadays you can be anyone you want to be "

Oh add to this too many wanting sex and a domestic helper

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS

I'd say a good 90% of women have no need for dating apps or sites like this.

Women get approached (wether they want it or not) on a daily basis unless they're hiding in their houses and are very antisocial.

If a woman wants sex she can walk down the street and have it in half an hour. Or have a list of guys in their phones in the friend zone.

Plus if the woman is on social media then her DMS are blowing up all the time if it's set to public.

Men who use dating apps are split into 2 groups. The guys that get women and just want a bigger pool to pick from. And the guys that get no women and/or have little social confidence and join apps as a way to bridge the gap of their lack of social confidence.

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By *ew2buryMan
2 weeks ago

Newbury

Have you seen the quality of most profiles here ?

I imagine that once you filter out the one liner and cock pic profiles, the ratio is probably 1:1.

And vanilla sites aren't much better. Is it really being selective if you chose the only plate or sandwiches that isn't mouldy ?

I also don't see if you can extrapolate dating apps to real life. Again, at the risk of speaking for women, the female experience is often much poorer so I suspect the longevity on apps is much lower.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️"

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure "

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

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By *weetiepie99Woman
2 weeks ago

cardiff


"I'd say a good 90% of women have no need for dating apps or sites like this.

Women get approached (wether they want it or not) on a daily basis unless they're hiding in their houses and are very antisocial.

If a woman wants sex she can walk down the street and have it in half an hour. Or have a list of guys in their phones in the friend zone.

Plus if the woman is on social media then her DMS are blowing up all the time if it's set to public.

Men who use dating apps are split into 2 groups. The guys that get women and just want a bigger pool to pick from. And the guys that get no women and/or have little social confidence and join apps as a way to bridge the gap of their lack of social confidence. "

I would say personally speaking this is rubbish. I don't get approached on a daily basis and I am neither anti social or in hiding! And I can't nor would want sex with anyone within half hour of walking down the street. I think you must be living in a parallel universe or something.

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
2 weeks ago

South glos


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ? "

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

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By *leasure MisfitMan
2 weeks ago

Lapworth

Women generally have better support networks and relationships than men. Men often rely on women to act as partner/friend/ parent and be their whole world. Where as women often have healthier relationships as a whole so do not need the same level of support from the opposite sex. You would probably find this to be different if men cultivated better inter-personal relationships and reduced their expectations to a more realistic level, then you would probably see this skew almost dissappear. It also appears to be based in traditional gender representations where as I would be interested to see if this is still much the the same for non traditional gender identities or whether that demograph is different.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though "

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
2 weeks ago

South glos


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing "

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

"

Also aren't 'friend zoned' men just friends 🤔. It all seems very complicated to me

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ? "

I've been friends with many women over the years (not friend zoned). Maybe it's the women I have been friends with but I have never seen them single for more than a few months at a time and whenever they've wanted something they've had it within an hour.

Maybe it's just a gen z and millennial generation thing. But I can tell you for a fact. There are many many women out there that have a roster of guys that they keep there as a back up (women have tried to have me as a back up and I have ended the friendship), and/or to use for casual sex.

Think of it as a group of guys on here that you have vetted already and keep them there for your benefit

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

I've been friends with many women over the years (not friend zoned). Maybe it's the women I have been friends with but I have never seen them single for more than a few months at a time and whenever they've wanted something they've had it within an hour.

Maybe it's just a gen z and millennial generation thing. But I can tell you for a fact. There are many many women out there that have a roster of guys that they keep there as a back up (women have tried to have me as a back up and I have ended the friendship), and/or to use for casual sex.

Think of it as a group of guys on here that you have vetted already and keep them there for your benefit "

Ah I see.

Men do the same though don't they?

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

"

I have the same feeling when I see guys balancing 5 women at the same time and keeping up with their work and life duties

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

Oh and I should be so lucky to have a group of pre vetted guys . Chance would be a very fine thing

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
2 weeks ago

SW1A1AA

When I was younger we didnt have dating apps or friend zone guys in our phones. Simply because mobile phones and Internet didnt exist. Yet we all managed to meet people in by being in social situations. Pubs parties, hobby groups. Lots of different ways people met and still can now.

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

Also aren't 'friend zoned' men just friends 🤔. It all seems very complicated to me "

Friend zone men are the type of men that have tried to get with the woman either for casual sex or romantic connection and have been turned down. So they keep in the shadows waiting for their moment (that usually never comes).

I've got a female friend that had a friend she had known since college (10 years) and she was in a vulnerable place so she went to his for a talk with a friend. They ended up hooking up (which she regretted) and then the friendship was over cause he never looked at her as a friend ever again. Constantly talking about when they were gonna meet up again and wanting to take her out etc

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

Also aren't 'friend zoned' men just friends 🤔. It all seems very complicated to me

Friend zone men are the type of men that have tried to get with the woman either for casual sex or romantic connection and have been turned down. So they keep in the shadows waiting for their moment (that usually never comes).

I've got a female friend that had a friend she had known since college (10 years) and she was in a vulnerable place so she went to his for a talk with a friend. They ended up hooking up (which she regretted) and then the friendship was over cause he never looked at her as a friend ever again. Constantly talking about when they were gonna meet up again and wanting to take her out etc "

Yeah I know what friend zoned means. I think it's used more by men than women, most women I know just call these men friends .

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"Oh and I should be so lucky to have a group of pre vetted guys . Chance would be a very fine thing "

This is why I never said every woman in existence. Just like men there are the women that don't care for casual or being surrounded by loads of people and the women that just get no attention at all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Oh and I should be so lucky to have a group of pre vetted guys . Chance would be a very fine thing

This is why I never said every woman in existence. Just like men there are the women that don't care for casual or being surrounded by loads of people and the women that just get no attention at all. "

I'm just having a bit of a laugh at myself dw

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
2 weeks ago

South glos


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

Also aren't 'friend zoned' men just friends 🤔. It all seems very complicated to me "

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

Yeah I know what friend zoned means. I think it's used more by men than women, most women I know just call these men friends . "

You're right. They do. I am friends with these kinds of women. But there is a rule that men use that holds true cause I've tested it with my female friends with them.

Out of 10 guys 8 or 9 of them will purely be there to for sexual attraction. They will wait and wait for a chance that may never come or they get into a relationship and drop out of her life cause they don't need her for that reason anymore.

It is never unattractive women that are surrounded by men. It's always attractive women

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

When I say social I mean going to social events with friends. Such as nights/evenings out.

Age does play a role in who gets approached for sure

Is it true that women have a list of friend zoned guys on their phone that they contact when they're out of options ?

Not this one, I’m not that desperate 😅. Some women probably do though

I'm honestly bemused by all this. My kids are in their 30s I will ask them if this is a thing

Ain’t nobody got time to be pretending to be interested in a friend zoned man just for an ego boost 🤣

Also aren't 'friend zoned' men just friends 🤔. It all seems very complicated to me

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them "

I know what friend zone means. Any men friends I've had have always been platonic. If anyone refers to themselves as being in a zone it's probably been them.

I think if you're just being someone's friend in the hopes of it becoming sexual you aren't a friend.

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them "

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

Yeah I know what friend zoned means. I think it's used more by men than women, most women I know just call these men friends .

You're right. They do. I am friends with these kinds of women. But there is a rule that men use that holds true cause I've tested it with my female friends with them.

Out of 10 guys 8 or 9 of them will purely be there to for sexual attraction. They will wait and wait for a chance that may never come or they get into a relationship and drop out of her life cause they don't need her for that reason anymore.

It is never unattractive women that are surrounded by men. It's always attractive women

"

Which is why I have very few men friends. I sussed the ones out who thought they were in some sort of waiting zone very early on.

And also why I'm not surrounded by men

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance""

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ?

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I know what friend zone means. Any men friends I've had have always been platonic. If anyone refers to themselves as being in a zone it's probably been them.

I think if you're just being someone's friend in the hopes of it becoming sexual you aren't a friend. "

You're right in that respect. But women who thrive off of validation love this kind of attention. Also those kind of women will use the guys for whatever she wants. She needs a room decorated? He'll get it done. It's like having a group of cuck guys in a sub dom dynamic

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I know what friend zone means. Any men friends I've had have always been platonic. If anyone refers to themselves as being in a zone it's probably been them.

I think if you're just being someone's friend in the hopes of it becoming sexual you aren't a friend.

You're right in that respect. But women who thrive off of validation love this kind of attention. Also those kind of women will use the guys for whatever she wants. She needs a room decorated? He'll get it done. It's like having a group of cuck guys in a sub dom dynamic "

Isn't that friendship though, you help your friends out.

I didn't come down with the last shower, I know how these things work, it's not much different nowadays to what it was when I was young. However if someone is going to decorate a room in the hopes of getting sex I think they probably need to have a word with themselves.

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ? "

That phrase is a double edged sword. Nice guys do finish last because they are just that. Nice. Being nice get you nowhere in life. Nice guys get walked over and have no real back bone. Where as a the conventional bad boy is the opposite of that. Often fighting for what they want in the worst ways and just using women for their own entertainment.

Women want the beauty and the beast mentality. The beast being the bad boy but he is good for her and only her. It's a beast that she has tamed that will do anything for her (like the nice guy) but will also end the world for her if that time came (bad boy).

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago


"There’s too much worry and emphasis on how to beat the dating the apps as a man, but the best way to beat them is to not use them and to put the time into meeting people in real life instead. It’s not that hard nowadays as there’s lots of meet up/ hobby groups, singles nights etc. "

🎯

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

I know what friend zone means. Any men friends I've had have always been platonic. If anyone refers to themselves as being in a zone it's probably been them.

I think if you're just being someone's friend in the hopes of it becoming sexual you aren't a friend.

You're right in that respect. But women who thrive off of validation love this kind of attention. Also those kind of women will use the guys for whatever she wants. She needs a room decorated? He'll get it done. It's like having a group of cuck guys in a sub dom dynamic

Isn't that friendship though, you help your friends out.

I didn't come down with the last shower, I know how these things work, it's not much different nowadays to what it was when I was young. However if someone is going to decorate a room in the hopes of getting sex I think they probably need to have a word with themselves. "

It's about how that friendship is reciprocated and whether that is taken advantage of.

If you're just friends with someone for your own personal gain. Then you're not friends with that person. You're just using them until their usefulness has come to an end

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

Friend zoned men are when they’ve tried to get themselves out the friend zone and expressed romantic or sexual interest and the woman isn’t interested.

I don’t have any of those, any guy friends I have it’s always been platonic. I have had guys I’ve gone on dates with and would have stayed in contact as friends but they seem to want all or nothing and I’ve not managed to stay friends with any of them

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ?

That phrase is a double edged sword. Nice guys do finish last because they are just that. Nice. Being nice get you nowhere in life. Nice guys get walked over and have no real back bone. Where as a the conventional bad boy is the opposite of that. Often fighting for what they want in the worst ways and just using women for their own entertainment.

Women want the beauty and the beast mentality. The beast being the bad boy but he is good for her and only her. It's a beast that she has tamed that will do anything for her (like the nice guy) but will also end the world for her if that time came (bad boy). "

Hmm. I'm not sure about that. You know being a woman and all and knowing what I as an individual want

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By *offiacoolWoman
2 weeks ago

Alsager


"I think women are more happily single than men. In general."

I think women are often more independent too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I know what friend zone means. Any men friends I've had have always been platonic. If anyone refers to themselves as being in a zone it's probably been them.

I think if you're just being someone's friend in the hopes of it becoming sexual you aren't a friend.

You're right in that respect. But women who thrive off of validation love this kind of attention. Also those kind of women will use the guys for whatever she wants. She needs a room decorated? He'll get it done. It's like having a group of cuck guys in a sub dom dynamic

Isn't that friendship though, you help your friends out.

I didn't come down with the last shower, I know how these things work, it's not much different nowadays to what it was when I was young. However if someone is going to decorate a room in the hopes of getting sex I think they probably need to have a word with themselves.

It's about how that friendship is reciprocated and whether that is taken advantage of.

If you're just friends with someone for your own personal gain. Then you're not friends with that person. You're just using them until their usefulness has come to an end "

Is it that black and white. I mean we all know men and women who use their supposed friends then drop them but is it widespread?

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ?

That phrase is a double edged sword. Nice guys do finish last because they are just that. Nice. Being nice get you nowhere in life. Nice guys get walked over and have no real back bone. Where as a the conventional bad boy is the opposite of that. Often fighting for what they want in the worst ways and just using women for their own entertainment.

Women want the beauty and the beast mentality. The beast being the bad boy but he is good for her and only her. It's a beast that she has tamed that will do anything for her (like the nice guy) but will also end the world for her if that time came (bad boy).

Hmm. I'm not sure about that. You know being a woman and all and knowing what I as an individual want "

Ok... Let me put it this way. You're out on a date and someone is trying to rob your purse and jewelry.

The nice guy would just freeze up and allow it all to happen.

The bad boy would confront that person without thinking if that person has a weapon because he's defending you and not allowing that to happen to you.

Which would you want in that scenario?

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By *CExeCouple
2 weeks ago

Lincoln/Exeter

Chels and I met on a swipe based dating site, and I'd had a good few dates from there before that. Similarly, as a single male on here I didn't struggle for meets. I'm not Brad Pitt, neither am I Big Harold and I've often wondered whether it's genuinely a numbers game, or if it's more something in the initial approach and conversation.

The level of self pity, woe is me posts and the entitlement of some leads me towards the latter.

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

Is it that black and white. I mean we all know men and women who use their supposed friends then drop them but is it widespread? "

I wouldn't call it black and white. But it's more common than you may think.

I've seen many women show a smile and then have the guy run around and do whatever she wants in the faint hope that he may get something in return or for that smile to become a second smile.

It's cuck guys that are fighting for that slightest validation and the woman knowing this and taking advantage of it.

I know with the female friends I have now I don't live in that kind of scenario because they've proven otherwise.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ?

That phrase is a double edged sword. Nice guys do finish last because they are just that. Nice. Being nice get you nowhere in life. Nice guys get walked over and have no real back bone. Where as a the conventional bad boy is the opposite of that. Often fighting for what they want in the worst ways and just using women for their own entertainment.

Women want the beauty and the beast mentality. The beast being the bad boy but he is good for her and only her. It's a beast that she has tamed that will do anything for her (like the nice guy) but will also end the world for her if that time came (bad boy).

Hmm. I'm not sure about that. You know being a woman and all and knowing what I as an individual want

Ok... Let me put it this way. You're out on a date and someone is trying to rob your purse and jewelry.

The nice guy would just freeze up and allow it all to happen.

The bad boy would confront that person without thinking if that person has a weapon because he's defending you and not allowing that to happen to you.

Which would you want in that scenario?"

Too simplistic.

My partner who I think is nice would have the person on the floor begging for mercy . I've seen him in action when I've been threatened but that's not down to him being nice or bad.

Also I have strategies in place to protect myself.

I take your point though.

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By *ellinever70Woman
2 weeks ago

Ayrshire

So basically, men will do things for women in the hope they'll get sex and women will exploit that?

Christ, what a dim view of all of humanity

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By *inkPomPomWoman
2 weeks ago

Isle of Man

I would be choosey regardless of numbers?

Im not sure i agree with this data at all tbh

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"^^

My partner who I think is nice would have the person on the floor begging for mercy . I've seen him in action when I've been threatened but that's not down to him being nice or bad.

Also I have strategies in place to protect myself.

I take your point though. "

But that falls into the beauty and beast scenario I talked about. It's a happy medium

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By *inkPomPomWoman
2 weeks ago

Isle of Man


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️"

Ditto tbh 💕

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By *unkissedYorkieMan
2 weeks ago

BRADFORD/LEEDS


"So basically, men will do things for women in the hope they'll get sex and women will exploit that?

Christ, what a dim view of all of humanity "

Men also do the same thing to women. They just use sex and the promise of a relationship in that example.

Perfect example of this is the whole situationship trend that is taking place.

Do every relationship thing but have no real connection to the other person. But then one of them get hurt when they find out they are seeing other people cause they aren't a couple.

Men are usually the ones that are hurting women in this scenario

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By *offiacoolWoman
2 weeks ago

Alsager


"^^

That's because they were never actually friends. From my experience having genuine female friends... Women are often caught of guard by these guys because women often subconsciously reject a guy. Take the woman that says that the guy is like a brother to her... But you see the way that he glances at her when she's not looking. He's a brother for sure and she will open up to him in a way that she'd never open up to many other people. But to him... It's just a way for him to be closer to her and "get his chance"

Is this the cause do you think of the enduring lament that nice guys always come last ?

That phrase is a double edged sword. Nice guys do finish last because they are just that. Nice. Being nice get you nowhere in life. Nice guys get walked over and have no real back bone. Where as a the conventional bad boy is the opposite of that. Often fighting for what they want in the worst ways and just using women for their own entertainment.

Women want the beauty and the beast mentality. The beast being the bad boy but he is good for her and only her. It's a beast that she has tamed that will do anything for her (like the nice guy) but will also end the world for her if that time came (bad boy).

Hmm. I'm not sure about that. You know being a woman and all and knowing what I as an individual want

Ok... Let me put it this way. You're out on a date and someone is trying to rob your purse and jewelry.

The nice guy would just freeze up and allow it all to happen.

The bad boy would confront that person without thinking if that person has a weapon because he's defending you and not allowing that to happen to you.

Which would you want in that scenario?"

I don't think the relevance is whether you are nice or not. In that scenario, it would be dependant on whether he had the confidence or ability to launch a rescue. I like to think I would tackle someone in defense of an attack, but if the attacker appeared enormous and stronger than myself, I would do the best I could, distract, call the police, call for help....pointless being killed or seriously injured for something material that could be replaced.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So basically, men will do things for women in the hope they'll get sex and women will exploit that?

Christ, what a dim view of all of humanity "

I think we all know there's a subset of men and women like this but I'd like to think it's not common.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

I am neither approached on a daily basis nor have a friend zone list

Mind you I'm old so 🤷‍♀️

Ditto tbh 💕"

Well you're not old

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester


"Well you got my opinion on it 🤣

Your post was very caught up in the numbers of it all tbf and I just think it’s a waste of time to get caught up in all that 🤷🏻‍♀️"

You may well be right and I respect your opinion. I was just asking for opinions and I respect all those that are posted, whether I agree or not. The world would be a dull place if we all thought the same.

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By *hisIsMe58 OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Winchester

Thank you for all the replies. I must say that I did not expect the thread to go this way, but you never can predict how something will go.

It has opened my eyes to many things that I was not aware of. Maybe it's because I'm of the era that grew up without internet or mobile phones. They were something that I wouldn't have believed when I was 18.

As a nice guy, I think I'm screwed according to some posts. Having been called too nice in the past, whether that was a compliment or insult I don't know.

Anyway, thank you to all those that have contributed, and on a personal , I'm surprised there were so many replies.

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By *legantEnigmaWoman
2 weeks ago

South of the Watford Gap


"I'd say a good 90% of women have no need for dating apps or sites like this.

Women get approached (wether they want it or not) on a daily basis unless they're hiding in their houses and are very antisocial.

If a woman wants sex she can walk down the street and have it in half an hour. Or have a list of guys in their phones in the friend zone.

Plus if the woman is on social media then her DMS are blowing up all the time if it's set to public.

Men who use dating apps are split into 2 groups. The guys that get women and just want a bigger pool to pick from. And the guys that get no women and/or have little social confidence and join apps as a way to bridge the gap of their lack of social confidence. "

My experience as a single woman for most of my adult life is not, and never has been as you describe.

I have never been approached out and about, I do not have a list of people in my phone I can have sex with as I don't use people for sex. And the only people who slide into my DMs are businesses trying to persuade me that the three posts I've ever made in the past 10 years make me a great candidate to be an influencer for their incredible new [insert dodgy product here].

My experience dating sites is no different to here - full of fantasists who seem to be chatting to 10 different women at the same time and not actually commuting to meet in case something 'better' comes along. i.e. not wanting to make any effort to develop something.

So yes, I'd rather stay content in my single life than have to navigate assumptions from the 'men' of this world about what life is like for me.

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