FabSwingers.com forum: Is Being Polite Really the wrong thing

By *e1shBull OP Man
3 weeks ago

Feltham

So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else.

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By *007ManMan
3 weeks ago

Worthing

Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

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By *offiacoolWoman
3 weeks ago

Alsager

Do you mail men to say hello too ?

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By *BWHunterMan
3 weeks ago

Central Bedfordshire

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Think about a message more like an email than a chat. Or like you're answering a request.

"Hello" on its own looks like you can't be bothered, or you've sent it to every profile within 100 miles.

Many people then say "but I'm being nice. You don't want me to be nice? Does that mean I should be horrible and abusive?"

Millions of possibilities exist between "hi" and abuse. Try any of those.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hets/Beds/Leeds

So you’re just being polite with no other intentions to people you searched for on the internet?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

What are you welcoming them to ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

It's usually because a brief 'Hello and welcome' message prefaces a 'would you meet me?' message.

Did you send the message expecting an answer or were you just welcoming a new member to fab?

It's not nice to be rude back I agree. I hope your day gets better

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By *herry77Woman
3 weeks ago

North West

In theory I’d chat to anybody, and in the past I have, but I’ve learned that when you do it inevitably leads to them expecting/wanting to meet at some point. I’d rather avoid the awkwardness these days by generally not getting into conversations with those I can’t see myself meeting in the future!

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By *aisyMayStarWoman
3 weeks ago

london

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here. "

This is completely untrue, but it’s what some people tell themselves I guess.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"In theory I’d chat to anybody, and in the past I have, but I’ve learned that when you do it inevitably leads to them expecting/wanting to meet at some point. I’d rather avoid the awkwardness these days by generally not getting into conversations with those I can’t see myself meeting in the future!"

Very much. I only reply if there's a possibility it might go somewhere. Otherwise this "nice" person I'm talking to often becomes... less nice when they think I've wasted their time

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By *oyoteUglyWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

It's never just politeness though is it, it's a way in.

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By *herry77Woman
3 weeks ago

North West

Very much. I only reply if there's a possibility it might go somewhere. Otherwise this "nice" person I'm talking to often becomes... less nice when they think I've wasted their time "

Yes! The ‘time-waster’ fury on here is huge!

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By *artorialMan
3 weeks ago

weymouth

Messages on here are largely like a cold call sales pitch, you have to grab the prospects attention quickly and make them curious about you

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By *BWHunterMan
3 weeks ago

Central Bedfordshire

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here.

This is completely untrue, but it’s what some people tell themselves I guess. "
I don’t think it’s completely untrue. There’s definitely some truth to it. Much harder for guys but it’s ok. It is what it is.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
3 weeks ago

Isle of Man

Its not ideal though, and i cant speak for other women but i live on a different landmass and dont want hundreds of hello how are you exchanges with men on the mainland who just want to see pictures of my pussy

This isnt one, this is several hundred

Imagine trying to manage that and stay polite with people who dont really care about your feelings

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By *issmorganWoman
3 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I regularly get hi or what you up to from profiles absolutely miles away, that I have no interest in.

Why would I respond in that case op?.

I appreciate you think it's a polite hello, but many women will get so many of those type messages and unless you're specifically what they're looking for, in their profile, you won't tend to get a response unfortunately.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here.

This is completely untrue, but it’s what some people tell themselves I guess. I don’t think it’s completely untrue. There’s definitely some truth to it. Much harder for guys but it’s ok. It is what it is. "

Does being good and polite mean it should be easier to get meets on fab?

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By *ustBoWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If you didn't expect anything why did you message them in the first place ? I don't think anyone on here messages without some expectations of something.

What were you welcoming them to ? Are you one of those men who message all new profiles in the hope of getting in there first? Which actually is one of the reasons so many leave fab because they get inundated with so many messages within minutes of joining of joining before they find filters.

Was the person rude to you,did they just delete your message ?

If they were rude then just block them there is no need for that.

If they deleted their message it does not mean they are entitled its means they don't want to interact with you.

Sending a message does not entitle you to a response.Someone not engaging with chat with you does not make them.entitled either.

And to be truthful you sent thst message because you wanted to interact with that person in the hope of it going beyond a chat .

Claiming otherwise and then claiming they are entitled because they didn't react how you feel they should says a lot more about your attitude than anyone else's.

So many people,not just men,try the act like the nice ones and then het annoyed when they dont get what they want,and then the insults and real attitude shows that the nice facade is just an act.

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By *omeotherguyMan
3 weeks ago

Sheffield/London/Derbyshire

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

Don't forget the cock pics,obviously.

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By *eductiveSecretsWoman
3 weeks ago

Birmingham

Little ironic as entitlement to a reply is the same thing. No message comes without a motive, whether it be personal gain or not.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
3 weeks ago

huddersfield

am allways polite as manners cost nothing

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here.

So you think "hey slag, I'm gonna bang your back door in" is a more effective approach than "hello"?

They're both getting deleted, but the former is likely to get blocked as well.

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By *ate2theparty808Man
3 weeks ago

Erdington

I’m new (sort of) and I haven’t had a welcoming message apart from one from fab itself.

But I’m sure that’s not you being rude OP, I’m sure it’s just an oversight due to there being hundreds of people joining every day, that would be hundreds of messages you would have to send, just like there being hundreds of messages sent to ladies profiles, it’s impractical, you wouldn’t have time to actually meet anyone.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
3 weeks ago

Isle of Man

Friend invite? 😂 maybe people are rude to you because you dont read profiles

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m new (sort of) and I haven’t had a welcoming message apart from one from fab itself.

There are hundreds of people who trawl "new women" in the hopes of being the first to get their attention. I think that's what he means by welcoming.

I remember it being overwhelming and the messages being bizarre and demanding. "Welcoming", not so much.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
3 weeks ago

Newry

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here. "

Absolute nonsense

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By *hilly1515Man
3 weeks ago

Trying to be helpful to the op.

not condescending.

Have you considered it this way,

Is posting your personal distaste, about it, compounding, the thing you see as a problem, so far as, is it saying more about you or your approach than it may your frustration.

I do take onboard the manners and polite points you have mentioned.

so I am not having a go at you.

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By *eliWoman
3 weeks ago

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here. "

There's not any truth to that last sentence.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Inaswingdress has summarised the situation beautifully twice.

Some men will keep on messaging a "hi" until... I don't know, I change my mind? If I block you, it's to do a service to you too so you don't message me again in future as I'm not interested.

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By *he MinionMan
3 weeks ago

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

So you message people just to say Hello and Welcome.

What are you genuinely expecting for this?

A reply saying thank you?

What happens then. You follow this up (eventually) with a fancy a fuck message because you have now been chatting for awhile?

Or do the recipiants of your friendly polite welcoming message see it for what it really is and this is what has caused you distress?

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By *offiacoolWoman
3 weeks ago

Alsager

"Little ironic as entitlement to a reply is the same thing. No message comes without a motive, whether it be personal gain or not."

I fund it ironic that people complain that they don't get reply to mails, open a thread asking for people's opinions, then not participating further with replies to points raised, despite being still online 🤷‍♀️

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By *ellhungvweMan
3 weeks ago

Cheltenham

OP I assume you are saying more than just “Hello”?

If you are just saying “Hello” then I wouldn’t really consider chat to be polite. On its own it is just a bit vapid. If you get several messages like that a day then it gets beyond tedious.

What you might think is innocuous can just be the final nail in the coffin for someone else.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Little ironic as entitlement to a reply is the same thing. No message comes without a motive, whether it be personal gain or not.

I wonder - speaking generally, not specifically - if threads like these are written in the spirit of "I will tell the manager about the problems and the issue will be solved".

Or if they don't like the replies they're getting. Or both.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
3 weeks ago

Newry

Honestly I find it easier to express my lack of interest from the outset. That the person wasn't interested in me beyond a hello is irrelevant. If some think I'm entitled, I'll take that if it means my intentions are clearly articulated.

If only those just being polite, just saying hello, just paying a compliment, or just wanting to chat did the same.

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By *offiacoolWoman
3 weeks ago

Alsager

"Little ironic as entitlement to a reply is the same thing. No message comes without a motive, whether it be personal gain or not.

I wonder - speaking generally, not specifically - if threads like these are written in the spirit of "I will tell the manager about the problems and the issue will be solved".

Or if they don't like the replies they're getting. Or both."

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By *ilbzMan
3 weeks ago

Swindon Wiltshire

I am always polite, because for a start it was how i was brought up and secondly i think the women on here must get far too much abuse for not responding to a message or a wink, and i don’t believe theres any justification for that abuse.

If my message gets passed by because it started with an ‘hello’ then so be it, at least it wasn’t passed by because i was an ass or just plain rude. I can live with being passed by, left unread or deleted, i can take the rejection no problem at all.

Why? Because i am an adult, yes an old one at that, and there is an inner child inside me that comes out, usually in my poor sense of humour lol.

I wouldn’t walk up to a woman in the street and ask her if she wanted to f**k, and i sure as hell wouldn’t do it on here!

As for a dick pics, i don’t send unless asked and i don’t have one as a profile pic either, but thats mainly because my macro lens isn’t up to the job 🤓🤪

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By *icolerobbieCouple
3 weeks ago

Walsall

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

Just be yourself. There are plenty on here who will ignore you for whatever the reason. Don’t take it personal as it isn’t.

Yes there are some who’ll take pleasure in shooting you down, but those profiles out themselves for what they really are when they do this. Consider them as a bullet dodged.

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By *omeotherguyMan
3 weeks ago

Sheffield/London/Derbyshire

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

Because this is a site for finding sex and there is a certain type of behaviour from men that prevails.

Also because many women aren't here for polite conversation.

Many women also get tons of messages and can't feasibly reply to.them all with polite conversation.

With those points in mind, if so done has taken the time to reply, even to.say no thanks, take it as a positive, OP.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

Central

Respect always

You need to be clear what your objectives are, to yourself, if nobody else.

Take a look at the daily multiple forum posts by single men who can't get replies or meets and work out how you could refine your approach, so that you're not stuck with them, unless you want to be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

However op I would say that if you have had an abusive message report it. There's never an excuse for abuse.

That might be my new catch phrase 🤔

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By *hilly1515Man
3 weeks ago

"However op I would say that if you have had an abusive message report it. There's never an excuse for abuse.

That might be my new catch phrase 🤔"
there is a tee shirt in this somewhere

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By *errafirmaMan
3 weeks ago

poole

Im always polite in mesaages and always read a profile before sending them,im either doing something wrong or its the ratio on here.

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By *hisIsMe58Man
3 weeks ago

Winchester

Is it that if you don't get a reply you feel they are entitled, or is it the reply you get.

In real life a hello or thank you to a stranger is usually met with no reply, so why should here be any different.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"However op I would say that if you have had an abusive message report it. There's never an excuse for abuse.

That might be my new catch phrase 🤔 there is a tee shirt in this somewhere

Setting up the screen printer as we speak

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By *rHotNottsMan
3 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

How do you politely tell somebody you'd like to shag them? I don't think it's by saying hello and welcome....

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By *a LunaWoman
3 weeks ago

Wales

You will be one message among many. Some get 100’s of message. Answering them all is not possible.

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By *hilly1515Man
3 weeks ago

OK this is to nobody in particular,

For me its fair to think, this online world, is lacking the ingredients of let's say a bar , a cafe , a pub, a social setting of some sort.

Which if I give it some reasonable and practicable thought, I should realise, that the tone , pitch and speed of my voice is obviously not heard, nor the visual cues of eyes, smile, and all that body language that accompanies.

The things that may or as is equally important may not spark up a conversation.

Only what I am thinking as I can only think for myself.

Just leaves me to say the weekend starts here, so hopefully we can all enjoy a good one in what ever form it takes.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"OK this is to nobody in particular,

For me its fair to think, this online world, is lacking the ingredients of let's say a bar , a cafe , a pub, a social setting of some sort.

The things that may or as is equally important may not spark up a conversation.

Only what I am thinking as I can only think for myself.

Just leaves me to say the weekend starts here, so hopefully we can all enjoy a good one in what ever form it takes.

Yes, it's a good insight. This is a different medium, and what's perfect in terms of etiquette in a pub won't work here. I think it's worth most people considering.

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By *ypersoonMan
3 weeks ago

WHITCHURCH, Shropshire

Disagree, had a meet with a MF couple who praised for the politeness & manners I showed both of them.

In fact, what few verifications I have say similar ❤️ Yes, we're all horny underneath but without some manners, it would be a unhappy experience for all parties concerned

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By *aked beachMan
3 weeks ago

small cave, behind the big cave.

No, never, even if someone else is rude to you, never.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Disagree, had a meet with a MF couple who praised for the politeness & manners I showed both of them.

In fact, what few verifications I have say similar ❤️ Yes, we're all horny underneath but without some manners, it would be a unhappy experience for all parties concerned"

I don't think anyone is saying that being polite is wrong.

It's just not *enough*.

So many people think there are three options for messaging on Fab

1. Hello. Please madam can I ask you a question, I am so terribly timid and probably have the personality of a wet rag. Please thank you I am oh so polite.

2. Oi you fucking slut! Get down here right now and pleasure me as I say! God, what's a man got to do to get a nice sloppy blowjob around here. You owe me!

3. When I get my hands on you (insert terrible erotica here) and I am the best at sex that ever sexed.

None of these are good. None of them. Be polite, be personal, be interesting.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

It's you.

You messaged them. They say no thanks. You call them 'entitled' and call them confused.

Believe me. It's YOU

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"How do you politely tell somebody you'd like to shag them? I don't think it's by saying hello and welcome...."

Hello and welcome Notts.

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By *ontyboi76Man
3 weeks ago

Pontypridd

Polite is always good, having no substance is not. So just saying hello as a first message or how are you, is unlikely to get a response. Because you haven't sold yourself, made an effort. My partner deletes those immediately, along with the sick mrssages

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By *oyoteUglyWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

"How do you politely tell somebody you'd like to shag them? I don't think it's by saying hello and welcome...."

Hi and welcome

Please will you stick your penis in me?

Much appreciated

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By *he MinionMan
3 weeks ago

"How do you politely tell somebody you'd like to shag them? I don't think it's by saying hello and welcome....

Hi and welcome

Please will you stick your penis in me?

Much appreciated "

That approach might just work if you sent it to me.

Might 🤔

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By *oyoteUglyWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

"How do you politely tell somebody you'd like to shag them? I don't think it's by saying hello and welcome....

Hi and welcome

Please will you stick your penis in me?

Much appreciated

That approach might just work if you sent it to me.

Might 🤔"

Well I guess we'll never know

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
3 weeks ago

in Lancashire

"So just because I said hello and welcome it does not mean that I am expecting to meet you or anything. Why are some people that entitled that they confuse politeness with something else."

Needs more context, did you say hello and welcome to those whose profile you had read and respected their wishes?

Local etc?

Its nothing to do with 'entitled etc' if they've ignored someone if that person has disregarded their profile..

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By *sm265Woman
3 weeks ago

Perthshire

If you sent me a "Hello and welcome" message, before I evdn opened it I would look at your profile. From your profile I would establish that you do not match what I am seeking on this site and that I don't match what your profile says you are looking for.

I don't have time to chat to everyone who sends me a message just to be polite, it'd be a full time job which would serve neither of us any purpose.

If i want to make polite conversation there are many people I can do that with in the real world.

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By *eroLondonMan
3 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Nah just be mean and horrible. They like a bit of drama.

I’m not sure if this was a joke but there’s honestly some truth to this. Good guys will always finish last especially on here. "

•

Such a woefully misleading comment!

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By *arc PolarisMan
3 weeks ago

Birmingham

Hello and welcome OP

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