FabSwingers.com forum: Imagine being almost 200 years old

By *elix Sighted OP Man
3 weeks ago

Cloud 8

The world's oldest known tortoise, Jonathan, has died at an estimated age of 193. Jonathan's exact age is unknown, but a photograph taken in 1882 shows that he was fully grown when he was first brought to the island - where he lived on the grounds of Plantation House, the official residence of the Governor of St Helena.

Experts say this suggests he was about 50 years old by that time.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
3 weeks ago

SW1A1AA

Hope i dont live to be that old.

Seriously if only tortoises could talk what a tale he would tell

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
3 weeks ago

Cloud 8

And it’s not like time flew by for him, either.

200 years of salad for every meal 😩🥱

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
3 weeks ago

South glos

I feel 200 years old

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
3 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"I feel 200 years old"

But you don’t look a day over 180 x

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By *adbodforcheekychatsMan
3 weeks ago

Great dunmow

Maybe veganism works after all...?

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By *engali DelightMan
3 weeks ago

Camden

Only 200? Try 400 years old

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By *cherryblossom-Woman
3 weeks ago

South glos

"I feel 200 years old

But you don’t look a day over 180 x"

Avoiding men has taken twenty years off me

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
3 weeks ago

SW1A1AA

My friend has a tortoise they cant half move when they want to

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By *hisIsMe58Man
3 weeks ago

Winchester

200 years of eating lettuce, kill me now. It's not that I don't feel 200 years old.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
3 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I heard that these tortoises have secretly battled down through the centuries whereupon the stroke of a sword and the fall of a head releases the power of the Quickening.

In the end, there can be only one! 👍🏻

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By *ad NannaWoman
3 weeks ago

East London

"My friend has a tortoise they cant half move when they want to"

They can climb fences.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

According to the world's top scientists. The theoretical maximum age for human's is 150 years. In ideal situations. Exercise, diet etc. And that at some point in the next 50-100 years it will be normal for people to live to 150.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
3 weeks ago

SW1A1AA

"My friend has a tortoise they cant half move when they want to

They can climb fences."
Ive never seen one climb

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Of course the same scientists say immortality is already possible. And that certain breeds of jellyfish can regenerate their cells indefinitely, making them immortal.

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
3 weeks ago

Norwich

"Of course the same scientists say immortality is already possible. And that certain breeds of jellyfish can regenerate their cells indefinitely, making them immortal. "

Maybe not the same. There are a lot of scientists.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Look it up on google, under immortal jellyfish. As it gets old, it regenerates back into a infant again.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Don't think I'd like to revert back to a youngster again. Hated school the first time around. Don't want to bloody go through it all over again.

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By *asterofmaidsMan
3 weeks ago

Telford

We had a tortoise would climb wire mesh and escape and go eat next doors strawberries

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Harriet, a famous Galapagos tortoise collected by Charles Darwin in 1835, and cared for by Steve Irwin, died in 2006, at 176 years old.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"My friend has a tortoise they cant half move when they want to

They can climb fences.Ive never seen one climb"
I

My tortoise can climb. I mean she wouldn't make Everest but I have to put higher barriers in than you'd think

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By *rettyboylloydMan
3 weeks ago

Manchester

I always remember our biology teacher asking us all which lived longer? A dormouse or a giant tortoise?

Course we all said the tortoise, confident in the knowledge that they could last around 200 years as opposed to the average dormouse being about 2 years.

No! Grinned our teacher. You're merely measuring in years that humans use as a yardstick. If we're measuring average heartbeats per lifetime, which is a more accurate barometer of longevity, then a dormouse and giant tortoise have on average about the same lifespan!

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

So if a tortoise lives 190 years. Do you think it remembers it's first owner.?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"So if a tortoise lives 190 years. Do you think it remembers it's first owner.? "

I think it's possible.

We have looked after a friend's tortoise when they go away for years. He remembers us, our tortoise and our house and garden.

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

[Removed by poster at 02/04/26 09:25:06]

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

Isn't that basically anyone born before 1990? 👀

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By *oyoteUglyWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

"Isn't that basically anyone born before 1990? 👀"

😭

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
3 weeks ago

North Somerset

"Isn't that basically anyone born before 1990? 👀"

The fact people born in 2008 can drink in pubs makes me cry. 😭😭

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By *otsossieMan
3 weeks ago

Chesterfield / Sheffield

I can feel it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

Central

It was fake news

'The real vet, who does not use X, said: “Jonathan the tortoise is very much alive. I believe on X the person purporting to be me is asking for crypto donations, so it’s not even an April fool joke. It’s a con.”

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By *uffhoundMan
3 weeks ago

Bourne, Lincolnshire

It's hard enough getting a meet on here if you're over 50, what are the chances if you're 150?

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By *ayBeeTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Winchester

How about the immortal jellyfish? 😁

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By *otsossieMan
3 weeks ago

Chesterfield / Sheffield

He was probably on here as 180

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By *entlemanrogueMan
3 weeks ago

Motherwell

"Hope i dont live to be that old.

Seriously if only tortoises could talk what a tale he would tell"

The tale of the tortoise.

Woke up, felt tired slept for a while, woke up again ate some lettuce, went a long 2ft woke, felt tired dozed off, woke up yawned had a rest.

Repeat ad infinitum

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By *igerFiestaMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Jonathan is still alive folks. The news report of his passing was a random April fools joke, which the BBC never bothered to verify and confirm. He's very much alive.

It made me think of the comedy 'The Detectives' with Jasper Carrott. In one episode the pair accidentally kill Hector a 100 year old tortoise by feeding him a KitKat. They should put a sign up next to Jonathan. Do not feed him KitKats.

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By *he MinionMan
3 weeks ago

I bet his fab age would be under 50 still.

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By *he MinionMan
3 weeks ago

And Mr Beans...

You are mean man.

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By *legantEnigmaWoman
3 weeks ago

South of the Watford Gap

"Jonathan is still alive folks. The news report of his passing was a random April fools joke, which the BBC never bothered to verify and confirm. He's very much alive.

Assuming anyone can find a KitKat after the great KitKat heist. He may be safe for a while yet.

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By *morousCouple8Couple
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

"According to the world's top scientists. The theoretical maximum age for human's is 150 years. In ideal situations. Exercise, diet etc. And that at some point in the next 50-100 years it will be normal for people to live to 150."

Wasn’t there another study that said that due to sedentary lifestyles our children will be the first generation where they don’t outlive the age of their parents?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Wasn’t there another study that said that due to sedentary lifestyles our children will be the first generation where they don’t outlive the age of their parents? "

I read that too but I also read that the person who will live to 200 has already been born so who knows whats right or possible.

I know what extreme old age looks like and unless you are fit, able to be independent and have money it's not pretty

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By *morousCouple8Couple
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

Wasn’t there another study that said that due to sedentary lifestyles our children will be the first generation where they don’t outlive the age of their parents?

I read that too but I also read that the person who will live to 200 has already been born so who knows whats right or possible.

I know what extreme old age looks like and unless you are fit, able to be independent and have money it's not pretty "

It’s not something I want. When it gets back - send me to Sweden, thanks!

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By *morousCouple8Couple
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

**bad

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By *exxyyDy11Man
3 weeks ago

North West

I've heard Greenland Sharks can live up to 250 to 500 years.

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

"Isn't that basically anyone born before 1990? 👀

The fact people born in 2008 can drink in pubs makes me cry. 😭😭"

Jeez... That even made me feel old 🙈😂

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

"And Mr Beans...

You are mean man."

😂😂😂

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By *hilly1515Man
3 weeks ago

nobody should have to endure me me for 200 years.

I will give it a go.

Now where did I put that sea kelp and magic mushrooms.

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