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" and nearly a further £50 down in the process. " What did you spend this on ? | |||
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"I’m shocked at the idea of finding 60 profiles that thought met your criteria and that you thought you met theirs. 60 😳🫠" Really? There are approximately 15 million people live within an hour of me. You don’t think it is possible to find 8/9 people per day that might appear suitable enough to contact (based on the profiles they have written to ‘advertise’ themselves) and you are actively searching for a meet? | |||
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" Its weird, the less searching I do, the better responses I get. " How do people know you're not searching before they message ? | |||
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" and nearly a further £50 down in the process. What did you spend this on ?" Luckily I didn’t - Steam vouchers, asked me to get them “to keep her kid occupied” while we enjoyed each other’s company - but wanted the codes ‘to distract him’ before she would give me her exact house number, or even come out to meet me. | |||
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" Its weird, the less searching I do, the better responses I get. How do people know you're not searching before they message ?" I worded that poorly didnt I. I mean the less searching which ultimately means I'm sending less messages. Theres no logic behind it at all. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London." • That's even worse! | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total. I struggle to understand the thinking behind sending so many messages because I find it hard to believe that in the space of a week you would find 62 profiles that appealed enough to warrant sending a message. It doesn't seem very selective at all. " But you attend socials (clubs/parties too, maybe?) You are more engaged in this as a scene, rather than flirting with it for occasional meets when the opportunity arises. Also, I love Belfast but there are only approx 1 million people in your catchment area, not the 15 million of mine. | |||
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"I'm suprised you were happy to have sex with someone who invites random strangers into their home for sex while her child is there. " I didn’t know the child was going to be there until I had arrived in the road where we were going to meet for an initial coffee. | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total. I struggle to understand the thinking behind sending so many messages because I find it hard to believe that in the space of a week you would find 62 profiles that appealed enough to warrant sending a message. It doesn't seem very selective at all. But you attend socials (clubs/parties too, maybe?) You are more engaged in this as a scene, rather than flirting with it for occasional meets when the opportunity arises. Also, I love Belfast but there are only approx 1 million people in your catchment area, not the 15 million of mine." I haven't been to a social in 4 years, a party in 8 years and I've never been to a club. I'm not engaged with the scene at all. In fact I couldn't be further removed from the scene if I tried. I've no idea what the population has anything to do with how many messages I have sent? I don't live anywhere near Belfast but I'm selective in who I message and even more fussy in who I get naked with. I've never felt the need to send lots of messages in the hope of getting a certain percentage of replies. I've also never been scammed or asked for money or favours and never been stood up. That's not down to luck. | |||
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"I'm suprised you were happy to have sex with someone who invites random strangers into their home for sex while her child is there. " I'm surprised the lady also found it appropriate to even suggest a meet. | |||
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" and nearly a further £50 down in the process. What did you spend this on ? Luckily I didn’t - Steam vouchers, asked me to get them “to keep her kid occupied” while we enjoyed each other’s company - but wanted the codes ‘to distract him’ before she would give me her exact house number, or even come out to meet me." Sounds dodge to me. | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total… …That's not down to luck. " Apologies for thinking you were from Belfast, it’s just that your profile says you are from Belfast. Wow - so you’re the lucky man on here that people just find and contact you at random, no presence, or effort on your part? 
To put my ‘active campaign’ last week in further perspective for you, I’ve just checked and over a 100 people have been on line in the last 30mins - within a 20 mile radius of me, that match my initial search criteria and I’m the age they are looking for. It is a numbers game, over 50% of my messages went unread - and I only message people who are currently online. | |||
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" and nearly a further £50 down in the process. What did you spend this on ? Luckily I didn’t - Steam vouchers, asked me to get them “to keep her kid occupied” while we enjoyed each other’s company - but wanted the codes ‘to distract him’ before she would give me her exact house number, or even come out to meet me. Sounds dodge to me. " Yes, although the initial to plan to meet for a coffee first seemed perfectly normal (as did all previous conversation). | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse!" I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this." • There was no judgement. | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P" Yes, exactly | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total… …That's not down to luck. Apologies for thinking you were from Belfast, it’s just that your profile says you are from Belfast. Wow - so you’re the lucky man on here that people just find and contact you at random, no presence, or effort on your part?
To put my ‘active campaign’ last week in further perspective for you, I’ve just checked and over a 100 people have been on line in the last 30mins - within a 20 mile radius of me, that match my initial search criteria and I’m the age they are looking for. It is a numbers game, over 50% of my messages went unread - and I only message people who are currently online."Not quite sure how you equate any of what I've said to not making an effort? I've made an effort with pics and bio and forum contributions. If you've already looked at my profile you will obviously have read the very first line. And yes despite that line, women do feel comfortable contacting me first and every conversation I've had in 6 years has been started in that way. Again, that's not down to luck. It's down to the effort I've always made. | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P" Thank you for saying it. I didn’t think it was that many. *If* I were looking and actively trying to meet I could potentially find that many people for whom that was a neck down attraction and compatible profile. I would then expect the actual number to be way smaller once face pics and messages were exchanged. Have sex! But not too much!  The Lounge is so judgey sometimes. | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P Thank you for saying it. I didn’t think it was that many. *If* I were looking and actively trying to meet I could potentially find that many people for whom that was a neck down attraction and compatible profile. I would then expect the actual number to be way smaller once face pics and messages were exchanged. Have sex! But not too much! The Lounge is so judgey sometimes."But it is more women toward men. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement." Fair enough, it read differently. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently." • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔 | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total… …That's not down to luck. Apologies for thinking you were from Belfast, it’s just that your profile says you are from Belfast. Wow - so you’re the lucky man on here that people just find and contact you at random, no presence, or effort on your part?
To put my ‘active campaign’ last week in further perspective for you, I’ve just checked and over a 100 people have been on line in the last 30mins - within a 20 mile radius of me, that match my initial search criteria and I’m the age they are looking for. It is a numbers game, over 50% of my messages went unread - and I only message people who are currently online.
Not quite sure how you equate any of what I've said to not making an effort?
I've made an effort with pics and bio and forum contributions.
If you've already looked at my profile you will obviously have read the very first line.
And yes despite that line, women do feel comfortable contacting me first and every conversation I've had in 6 years has been started in that way.
Again, that's not down to luck. It's down to the effort I've always made. "So your active forum engagements are effectively equivalent to me messaging people. To be fair, I’ve already had one woman message me privately as a result of this post - I’m not sure it will ever lead to meeting up - but it was very interesting reading her thoughts about people that have responded to this post, mirrored my thoughts.  | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P Thank you for saying it. I didn’t think it was that many. *If* I were looking and actively trying to meet I could potentially find that many people for whom that was a neck down attraction and compatible profile. I would then expect the actual number to be way smaller once face pics and messages were exchanged. Have sex! But not too much! The Lounge is so judgey sometimes."Thank you - to be fair, I expected the response - but it was either poke the fire and watch the flames, or sit at my computer and get my company accounting and personal expenses up to date. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently. • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔" Because I justified his numbers and you said it was worse, or so it appeared. No worries. | |||
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"get my company accounting and personal expenses up to date. "Do you class Steam Vouchers as personal expenses ?  | |||
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"get my company accounting and personal expenses up to date.
Do you class Steam Vouchers as personal expenses ? "Luckily, I never had to consider that But then I think I would have struggled to have considered the planned meeting as a business trip or corporate event anyway.
People can question the morals of my private life but they wouldn’t find any issues with my integrity and business ethics. | |||
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" People can question the morals of my private life but they wouldn’t find any issues with my integrity and business ethics."  | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently. • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔 Because I justified his numbers and you said it was worse, or so it appeared. No worries." • Your comment higher up was: "That's a lot of messages, and a less than selective process 😬 Pulse? Check! 🤣🤣🤣" ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Are you now backpedaling? | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P" • The OP wasn't being attacked. Secondly, some elephants never forget: a few months back the OP was quite contemptuous towards other men in a previous 'oral sex' thread, mocking those men who genuinely couldn't climax from oral. This isn't me being retaliatory but simply illustrating skewed perceptions | |||
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"There seems a certain snobbery within the Lounge." Enough said. | |||
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"Man comes on forum complaining if a lack of success = man attacked for being rude/presumptuous/entitled. Man comes on forum with a positive spin = man attacked for being greedy/a slut/having no standards. Welcome to the inclusive world of Fab. P • The OP wasn't being attacked. Secondly, some elephants never forget: a few months back the OP was quite contemptuous towards other men in a previous 'oral sex' thread, mocking those men who genuinely couldn't climax from oral. This isn't me being retaliatory but simply illustrating skewed perceptions" No single post was an attack but the overall effect is a pile on of disdain. It needs to be highlighted sometimes. | |||
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"Secondly, some elephants never forget: a few months back the OP was quite contemptuous towards other men in a previous 'oral sex' thread, mocking those men who genuinely couldn't climax from oral. This isn't me being retaliatory but simply illustrating skewed perceptions" I think you have either got me confused with someone else or completely misinterpreted something I posted. | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently. • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔 Because I justified his numbers and you said it was worse, or so it appeared. No worries. • Your comment higher up was: "That's a lot of messages, and a less than selective process 😬 Pulse? Check! 🤣🤣🤣" ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Are you now backpedaling?" Jokingly, and then quickly corrected. | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total. I struggle to understand the thinking behind sending so many messages because I find it hard to believe that in the space of a week you would find 62 profiles that appealed enough to warrant sending a message. It doesn't seem very selective at all. " *gets nervous sweat on having sent 100 messages a day* | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently. • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔 Because I justified his numbers and you said it was worse, or so it appeared. No worries. • Your comment higher up was: "That's a lot of messages, and a less than selective process 😬 Pulse? Check! 🤣🤣🤣" ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Are you now backpedaling? Jokingly, and then quickly corrected." OMG! Person puts their hands up, corrects themselves and the world doesn’t end. Thank you ❤️ | |||
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"To be fair, he's London. • That's even worse! I don't judge, there's nothing wrong with wanting company and there's no reason for me to sh*t on him for this. • There was no judgement. Fair enough, it read differently. • I'm in London. Why would I throw a "pot, kettle, black" remark? 🤔 Because I justified his numbers and you said it was worse, or so it appeared. No worries. • Your comment higher up was: "That's a lot of messages, and a less than selective process 😬 Pulse? Check! 🤣🤣🤣" ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Are you now backpedaling? Jokingly, and then quickly corrected. OMG! Person puts their hands up, corrects themselves and the world doesn’t end. Thank you ❤️" My flippancy does get me into trouble sometimes 🤣 But I do try to be kind to everyone. | |||
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"You sent 62 messages in a week? I've been here 10 years and haven't sent a single message in the last 6 of those but in the first 4 years I wouldn't have sent 100 messages in total. I struggle to understand the thinking behind sending so many messages because I find it hard to believe that in the space of a week you would find 62 profiles that appealed enough to warrant sending a message. It doesn't seem very selective at all. " Why do people need to be selective? If I find a willing hole within an hour's drive I'm not fussed at all ! | |||
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" Why do people need to be selective? If I find a willing hole within an hour's drive I'm not fussed at all !" Are you talking rabbit, fox or badger holes? | |||
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" Why do people need to be selective? If I find a willing hole within an hour's drive I'm not fussed at all ! Are you talking rabbit, fox or badger holes? " I love a wildlife  | |||
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" Why do people need to be selective? If I find a willing hole within an hour's drive I'm not fussed at all ! Are you talking rabbit, fox or badger holes? I love a wildlife "Fancy a ferret? | |||
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" Why do people need to be selective? If I find a willing hole within an hour's drive I'm not fussed at all ! Are you talking rabbit, fox or badger holes? I love a wildlife
Fancy a ferret?"You stoat ! | |||
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"Flat out on here, " Flight to Dublin please....  | |||
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"”a low threshold when it comes to compatibility”" Currently 33 people actually online within a 20 mile radius of me, that meet your criteria (and are willing to meet a man of my age). That’s just a snapshot in time. Obviously, they won’t all be compatible once you’ve seen pics and read profile - so it’s not a low threshold - just a high volume of people to find out about if you’re hoping for a good (compatible) meet. I don’t think you can tell that a person, or couple, will be compatible just from their profile, or without at least chatting to them. And of course, their availability may differ and they might not want to meet you. I don’t know how you can find this out any other way, or arrange to meet each other, unless you communicate. And with 50%+ of messages going unread… | |||
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" I don’t think you can tell that a person, or couple, will be compatible just from their profile, or without at least chatting to them. And of course, their availability may differ and they might not want to meet you. I don’t know how you can find this out any other way, or arrange to meet each other, unless you communicate. And with 50%+ of messages going unread…" I absolutely know if people are compatible or not based on their profile. I don't want to pile on, but this idea that you have to talk to someone to know if you're compatible - I find it quite odd. I wonder if more of your messages might be read if you used profiles as a filter. | |||
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" …I wonder if more of your messages might be read if you used profiles as a filter." I already use the Advanced Search function to narrow it down - is “profiles” something different? | |||
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"I see a lot of men complaining that they never get a response on here, so thought I’d look back at my last week when I was actively trying to arrange a meet. I target my messages to women or couples that I find attractive (by photo or description, how old-fashioned, eh?) and personalise each message, though a reasonably generic description of me and what I’m hoping for. I typically add a full body pic of me and a couple of other pics, all fully-clothed. Never send a dick pic, unless specifically requested. Anyway, onto the stats for last week: 62 initial messages sent 33 unread 8 responses, generating conversation 3 potential meets - should calendars align 1 meet agreed - but turned out to be a scammer. I reckon that’s not too bad, even if I didn’t get to meet anyone (and wasted a gallon in petrol, a couple of hours of my time and nearly a further £50 down in the process). How was your week?" OP, I could never answer this question. Not because I judge or disagree with your methodology, but because I delete all messages as soon as I’ve sent them. It was something learned early on in my glittering fab career, to stop me fretting about whether someone will reply. My view is: if they reply we’ll chat, if they don’t we won’t. Bonne chance. | |||
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" …I wonder if more of your messages might be read if you used profiles as a filter. I already use the Advanced Search function to narrow it down - is “profiles” something different?" Yes. I mean "profile text" and "pictures". The stuff people have added, rather than just their base demographics. So my profile text probably tells you that I'm verbose and sarcastic. You might not be into that. That's fine | |||
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"Out of interest, how many of your responded messages consisted of "hey"? I'm guessing not one." No - irritatingly, one or two were just “Hi”. It’s quite deflating after you feel you’ve put the effort in writing a decent message. But doesn’t mean they won’t engage later. | |||
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" …I wonder if more of your messages might be read if you used profiles as a filter. I already use the Advanced Search function to narrow it down - is “profiles” something different? Yes. I mean "profile text" and "pictures". The stuff people have added, rather than just their base demographics. So my profile text probably tells you that I'm verbose and sarcastic. You might not be into that. That's fine " How do I search specific profile text and pictures? That seems way beyond “Advanced Search”???? I always have to read the profile and look at the pictures before deciding whether or not to message them - there’s another way? | |||
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" …I wonder if more of your messages might be read if you used profiles as a filter. I already use the Advanced Search function to narrow it down - is “profiles” something different? Yes. I mean "profile text" and "pictures". The stuff people have added, rather than just their base demographics. So my profile text probably tells you that I'm verbose and sarcastic. You might not be into that. That's fine How do I search specific profile text and pictures? That seems way beyond “Advanced Search”???? I always have to read the profile and look at the pictures before deciding whether or not to message them - there’s another way? " No, if you're looking at profiles then that's fine. You made it sound like you didn't look, or didn't incorporate it into your consideration - which seems a bit mad. | |||
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"Out of interest, how many of your responded messages consisted of "hey"? I'm guessing not one. No - irritatingly, one or two were just “Hi”. It’s quite deflating after you feel you’ve put the effort in writing a decent message. But doesn’t mean they won’t engage later." Oooh! Keep your fingers crossed for the ubiquitous "Lol x"........that's a Fab favourite for keeping a conversation going..... | |||
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"Out of interest, how many of your responded messages consisted of "hey"? I'm guessing not one. No - irritatingly, one or two were just “Hi”. It’s quite deflating after you feel you’ve put the effort in writing a decent message. But doesn’t mean they won’t engage later. Oooh! Keep your fingers crossed for the ubiquitous "Lol x"........that's a Fab favourite for keeping a conversation going..... "Lol!!!! | |||
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" …No, if you're looking at profiles then that's fine. You made it sound like you didn't look, or didn't incorporate it into your consideration - which seems a bit mad." “I target my messages to women or couples that I find attractive (by photo or description, how old-fashioned, eh?)” I guess you missed that bit?
Seriously though, thanks for taking the time to give advice - though I was hoping I’d missed a trick and could narrow down my searches even further. | |||
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" …No, if you're looking at profiles then that's fine. You made it sound like you didn't look, or didn't incorporate it into your consideration - which seems a bit mad. “I target my messages to women or couples that I find attractive (by photo or description, how old-fashioned, eh?)” I guess you missed that bit?
Seriously though, thanks for taking the time to give advice - though I was hoping I’d missed a trick and could narrow down my searches even further."Yes, apologies, I did. No, the searches are a pretty blunt instrument. I'd say what others are saying, though - you seem to be casting a very wide net, and that might be apparent to your recipients | |||
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" …I'd say what others are saying, though - you seem to be casting a very wide net, and that might be apparent to your recipients " I have five different “Saved Searches” targeting the different things I might be looking for at any time. As far as I’m aware, no one can see the size of any of any of those nets I might be casting, or would care, as long as we match, like each other enough and our calendars are aligned. And in any case, if the first message got read, then got a favourable response, triggering dialogue, etc. A second, third, fourth, etc message to other people wouldn’t get sent. That’s not casting a net wide. | |||
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