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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Got relatives that get easily confused / mixed up by modern day things ?

Here is the thread to share your stories

I'll start you off with this one !

My friend recently got engaged

Her gran wanted to know if she had announced it on Ebay

We think she meant Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two classics ...... both involve my mother !!!!!! (any references to "it runs in the family" will be severely dealt with) lol .............. my mother bought a new computer (never having had one before) I set it all up for her and told her how to use it ........ two days later I got a phone call .......... she wanted to do something so I told her how, for half an hour we had a discussion along the lines me: right click the mouse mum, her: I am, me: what is showing ......... it not being what I expected, so I kept going right click etc etc ...... finally after 30 minutes I worked out my mother had the mouse upside down ..... and it was a wired one too!!!!!! lol

the second incident ...... Mum I have had a tattoo ........... oh that's nice dear will you be bringing it with you when you come around ........... d'oh .... give me strength

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

My Mum once asked me how you cooked 'Magnet Trout Peas'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Richard Branston was one that my nan always used to come out with

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh yup

We have that well known soap character Ian Beagle

Oh and she really doesn't like that Kerry Ka toe nail !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum asked me what teabagging was and what was so bloody funny and worth talking about when it comes to tea!

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

My mum got put on a course of antibiollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum asked the neighbour if they were "dogging" on Boxing Day. I looked appalled and she said, "well we always do Boxing Day dog walk"

The other one was my uncle just before Christmas last year saying he hadn't heard that song "Gangbang Style" I blushed to the roots and had to make my excuses whilst everyone talked about how it was called "Gangnam Style"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a britvic orange, a bollock orange

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My mum asked me what teabagging was and what was so bloody funny and worth talking about when it comes to tea!

"

Not an old person, but we had the bosses son doing some summer work with us a few years back

Me and the lad I worked with at the time were discussing bukkake one day and the bosses son asked what it was.

We just paid him short shrift and said summat like 'oh you'll find out for yourself one day' and left it there

Then about 3 days later, he came in and said 'cmon tell me, what is this bukkake ? - it's just that I asked my mum this morning and she doesn't know what it is either'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An old colleague was giving a speech in a company meeting and likened the growth of the company to an octopus spreading its testicles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An old colleague was giving a speech in a company meeting and likened the growth of the company to an octopus spreading its testicles "

I once asked a child how many testicles an octopus had in a prompt about octagons and the number of sides they had.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

My mum told me she was going out In the garden to trim her clitoris once. (Clematis)

She also text me the other day to ask if the tape I wanted for decorating would be near the dick tape in homebase (duct tape)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once there was someone in their early to mid teens who was questioned about what certain things were in sex. Just the extreme basics too. Such as what colour cum was and how it looked. What a tit wank was, etc. Yet when they answer the questions incorrectly as the child had a bit of a strict upbringing and didn't have access to the Internet/Sky until they were in their an adult. The person was heavily mocked for ages because of it. I witnessed it and have mixed opinions on what I think of that situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum told me she was going out In the garden to trim her clitoris once. (Clematis)

She also text me the other day to ask if the tape I wanted for decorating would be near the dick tape in homebase (duct tape) "

We're they growing near the penises? (Peonies)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum told me she was going out In the garden to trim her clitoris once. (Clematis)

She also text me the other day to ask if the tape I wanted for decorating would be near the dick tape in homebase (duct tape) "
Dick tape could be very useful should one accidentally damage theirs

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Once there was someone in their early to mid teens who was questioned about what certain things were in sex. Just the extreme basics too. Such as what colour cum was and how it looked. What a tit wank was, etc. Yet when they answer the questions incorrectly as the child had a bit of a strict upbringing and didn't have access to the Internet/Sky until they were in their an adult. The person was heavily mocked for ages because of it. I witnessed it and have mixed opinions on what I think of that situation. "

Think you've missed the point of the thread a bit. Lol. But there were a good few kids at my school who would of been the same.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My dad phoned me once and told me he was getting my son some new vds for christmas

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

My mum last xmas announced to me & my sister that she would love a pearl necklace. I told her I have had them before and they aren't as much fun as you would think, plus the clean up afterwards. She looked bemused when my sister staggered out of the room choking with laughter. Only when she saw the smirk on my face did she realise there was a possible second and mucky meaning to her innocent request

N

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I took call um and his ex girlfriend to nandos and shouted from the counter did he want normal or diet cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a family story from years ago where my grandfather and his cousin were at a bar mitzvah and his cousin said, look "cousin Adrian, peanuts" only my grandfather misheard it and announced, "Simon, you can't say penis at a bar mitzvah"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Many moons ago, long before my mother developed Alzheimers, she bought me a little "massager" with "realistic finger" attachments as a birthday present. It was to help with my neck pain.

My father, sister, brother-in-law and I didn't dare look at each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I took call um and his ex girlfriend to nandos and shouted from the counter did he want normal or diet cock"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my friend "came out" to her nan her nan replied. That's all right sweetie you'll grow out of it , I went through a similar phase in my twenties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have two classics ...... both involve my mother !!!!!! (any references to "it runs in the family" will be severely dealt with) lol .............. my mother bought a new computer (never having had one before) I set it all up for her and told her how to use it ........ two days later I got a phone call .......... she wanted to do something so I told her how, for half an hour we had a discussion along the lines me: right click the mouse mum, her: I am, me: what is showing ......... it not being what I expected, so I kept going right click etc etc ...... finally after 30 minutes I worked out my mother had the mouse upside down ..... and it was a wired one too!!!!!! lol

the second incident ...... Mum I have had a tattoo ........... oh that's nice dear will you be bringing it with you when you come around ........... d'oh .... give me strength "

as you said must run in the family

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

My Nan told me that her friends son was a "Penis", she meant Pianist.

Her sister had a friend who used to pop round for a brew and a chat every week, and mid conversation, every week without fail, her pal used to get up and go home. She never said bye, or I've got to go, she just walked out. The first time she did it, my Great-Aunt sat there for ages waiting for her to come back from the toilet. She went looking and she'd gone lol. We never got to the bottom of why she did it, she was never rude except for this one thing of getting off mid convo lol.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"My Nan told me that her friends son was a "Penis", she meant Pianist.

Her sister had a friend who used to pop round for a brew and a chat every week, and mid conversation, every week without fail, her pal used to get up and go home. She never said bye, or I've got to go, she just walked out. The first time she did it, my Great-Aunt sat there for ages waiting for her to come back from the toilet. She went looking and she'd gone lol. We never got to the bottom of why she did it, she was never rude except for this one thing of getting off mid convo lol. "

I know someone who does that on the phone.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

My Granddad had a colostomy bag fitted, and rang to say he had a problem with it squeaking.

It never squeaked when he was out and about, just at home. This went on for a couple of weeks, and he wouldn't tell the nurse. I was telling him to check his hearing aid, but he was adamant that it was his bag.

In the end, I went round to convince him to tell his nurse. So we're sat there and he goes "Listen! Can't you hear it?!" It was the smoke alarm and it needed new batteries.

God love him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once there was someone in their early to mid teens who was questioned about what certain things were in sex. Just the extreme basics too. Such as what colour cum was and how it looked. What a tit wank was, etc. Yet when they answer the questions incorrectly as the child had a bit of a strict upbringing and didn't have access to the Internet/Sky until they were in their an adult. The person was heavily mocked for ages because of it. I witnessed it and have mixed opinions on what I think of that situation.

Think you've missed the point of the thread a bit. Lol. But there were a good few kids at my school who would of been the same. "

I am young. So I am allowed to make mistakes, lol. What you mean be the same, you mean mocking the other person or felt bad because they new nothing on the subject?

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway


"My mum got put on a course of antibiollocks. "

sounds about right!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Once there was someone in their early to mid teens who was questioned about what certain things were in sex. Just the extreme basics too. Such as what colour cum was and how it looked. What a tit wank was, etc. Yet when they answer the questions incorrectly as the child had a bit of a strict upbringing and didn't have access to the Internet/Sky until they were in their an adult. The person was heavily mocked for ages because of it. I witnessed it and have mixed opinions on what I think of that situation.

Think you've missed the point of the thread a bit. Lol. But there were a good few kids at my school who would of been the same.

I am young. So I am allowed to make mistakes, lol. What you mean be the same, you mean mocking the other person or felt bad because they new nothing on the subject?"

No, it's more that they say things inappropriately but innocently. Mix things up or just mishear things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once there was someone in their early to mid teens who was questioned about what certain things were in sex. Just the extreme basics too. Such as what colour cum was and how it looked. What a tit wank was, etc. Yet when they answer the questions incorrectly as the child had a bit of a strict upbringing and didn't have access to the Internet/Sky until they were in their an adult. The person was heavily mocked for ages because of it. I witnessed it and have mixed opinions on what I think of that situation.

Think you've missed the point of the thread a bit. Lol. But there were a good few kids at my school who would of been the same.

I am young. So I am allowed to make mistakes, lol. What you mean be the same, you mean mocking the other person or felt bad because they new nothing on the subject?

No, it's more that they say things inappropriately but innocently. Mix things up or just mishear things."

Think I know what you mean, but what i mentioned wasn't anything to do about mixing things up or mishearing stuff. It was due to the fact they had literally no knowledge of anything sexual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in an electrical store and one day an old lady came in and asked for some durex batteries instead of Duracell batteries.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Bussy's gone again. Hope he's ok

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Just to let everyone know, Bussy is absolutely fine, spoke to him this morning and he in a very good place

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"Just to let everyone know, Bussy is absolutely fine, spoke to him this morning and he in a very good place "

Thanks Pet. Was worried. Hope he's having fun and send him my love x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

no more bussy. Glad he's ok x.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"My mum asked the neighbour if they were "dogging" on Boxing Day. I looked appalled and she said, "well we always do Boxing Day dog walk" "

My friend takes his mum and aunt to the dog track every now and then. They were in the supermarket when she bumped into one of her friends who she proudly announced "my boy is taking me dogging tonight".

Even when he was telling me the story he was blushing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my very young nephews dropped a cocktail sausage which rolled under the settee; his elderly aunt then asked him, in front of the entire gathering, if he was 'playing hide the sausage'. I avoided everyone's eye for a good ten minutes afterwards.

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