FabSwingers.com forum: Hard to get meets!!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all.... why is it that a single male finds it hard to get meets. Send messages to people they read it.... but dont reply. Surely its not hard just to reply.... granted women get lots off messages but ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I clicked on this thread, I said to myself 'I WONDER if it was a male of female who posted this?'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all.... why is it that a single male finds it hard to get meets. Send messages to people they read it.... but dont reply. Surely its not hard just to reply.... granted women get lots off messages but ???

That depends on the message.....

Pretend you were sending us a message, what would it say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
you really should do wee search on this subject

been said many times about why this is

good luck

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Could be a lot of things.

Maybe they don't like your message.

Maybe you aren't what they are looking for.

Maybe something in your profile puts them off.

Maybe they have recieved a dozen messages that day or more and only reply to the ones that interest them as some people don't take rejection well.

And a hundred other possible reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not.

A good profile that avoids negativity, rants and moans helps, as does some interesting photos, an ability to write interesting and amusing messages, and use the sites tools to interact well with others - such as the forums.

Many only pop in here when they have a specific question, want feedback - or for a secret formula/magic wand to help them get meets.

Try just getting to know people socially in a virtual way - you may find things improve.

Guess it all comes down to what your expectations are of life on site and what it, as a mere internet based contact site, can do for you?

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Are you doing a generic cut and paste message or tailoring one to the profile? Or is it just a "Hi! How are you and where are you from?" kind of message?

Many have a look at your profile before reading the message.

For example, if your profile says you wont meet smokers, that's an aitomatic delete from me (and says on my profile)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been said a thousand times before. If you had a shed load of mail sent to your mailbox daily, saying the same old same old... Would you reply to all of them, every day???

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Your status wont help for one. Also you say you're not sure if this site is for you, so some may not want to be a guinea pig.

Another thing that MAY put people off is you have safe sex ticked but a pic without a condom on.

It could be anything though the list is endless.

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By *tomComMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

It is all a matter of numbers. There are loads more men than women and couples.

A women can get 100s of messages and you would not expect them to reply to them all.. I mean it would end up being a full time job.

You should just accept read and no reply means not interested.

I know it is hard as it is a form of rejection but at the end of the day this is the nature of the scene..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mark2810 I get the same problem .

Sometimes I think its me and other times my profile .

I do get replies back occasionally but not very often

Just have to wait until the right person comes along .

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By *tomComMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"Mark2810 I get the same problem .

Sometimes I think its me and other times my profile .

I do get replies back occasionally but not very often

Just have to wait until the right person comes along ."

This scene is not very good for men with low self confidence. You will always get loads more rejections than offers. That can hit you hard at times.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Have you tried a different angle,, the site has certain restrictions

Club,,, ?

Social,,?

Best of luck fella,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know it is hard for the women as well.

Getting lots of messages doesn't actually make it easier.

Imagine I get 100 messages per day. Of those I'd say 50 are dull one liners and 25 don't meet the minimum attraction standards.

So of the 25 left half are not available on the same days as me and of the ones who are about half find a last minute excuse and cancel.

So we have six left...

From my experience one third of meets don't show up so the result is that I'd get 2 guys from a day's work of responding and analyzing/flirting with 100 different guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know it is hard for the women as well.

Getting lots of messages doesn't actually make it easier.

Imagine I get 100 messages per day. Of those I'd say 50 are dull one liners and 25 don't meet the minimum attraction standards.

So of the 25 left half are not available on the same days as me and of the ones who are about half find a last minute excuse and cancel.

So we have six left...

From my experience one third of meets don't show up so the result is that I'd get 2 guys from a day's work of responding and analyzing/flirting with 100 different guys."

Amen to that!

After nearly 5 years as a single guy on here and having seen all the threads about piss poor messages from guys, all the advice given (not much use with such a low percentage using the forums) and all the shouts of "I'm genuine and no timewaster" - having finally bitten the bullet and set up a couples profile with my FB to find couples and singles (and yes that includes men!) i've been virtually dumbstruck by the crap flooding the inbox!

Of course it's not a major problem - my/our idiot filters work fine without spending more than a secong giving messages and profiles the once over.

But it's often the case that the person sending the message really doesn't do themselves any favours!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"You know it is hard for the women as well.

Getting lots of messages doesn't actually make it easier.

Imagine I get 100 messages per day. Of those I'd say 50 are dull one liners and 25 don't meet the minimum attraction standards.

So of the 25 left half are not available on the same days as me and of the ones who are about half find a last minute excuse and cancel.

So we have six left...

From my experience one third of meets don't show up so the result is that I'd get 2 guys from a day's work of responding and analyzing/flirting with 100 different guys."

Sometimes less is more,,

especially in man inches,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find attaching pics of yourself to your messages gets you more replys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes its hard tho as even when you reply with a thanks but no thanks they still message you,so sometimes its easier to just ignore if not for you.

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By *tomComMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"Sometimes its hard tho as even when you reply with a thanks but no thanks they still message you,so sometimes its easier to just ignore if not for you."

Problem is, men can be seen like tins of beans on a shelf. Just because you are there does not mean you are going to get picked. You need to stand out in someway. You need to advertise and market yourself. Though sometimes it does not matter how much you try if there are better tins around you, you are less likely to get picked. So best to bang out your dents, clean up you label and push yourself forward.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Before I open a message I read the profile. Straight men seeking tvs, safe sex but bareback pictures, profile more a whine than what they're looking for/can offer...instant delete!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes its hard tho as even when you reply with a thanks but no thanks they still message you,so sometimes its easier to just ignore if not for you.

Exactly if the message content and profile are good you will usually get a reply...you have to make them stand out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before I open a message I read the profile. Straight men seeking tvs, safe sex but bareback pictures, profile more a whine than what they're looking for/can offer...instant delete!"

Ditto! And if that means missing out on some interesting messages - so be it!

If someone puts more effort into a message than they do with regard to their profile text and pictures - then they've got their priorities seriously wrong!

And can only blame themselves if the delete/block button gets hit instead of reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess when some people find themselves dissatisfied with the lack of return for their effort they choose the easiest option of criticising the object of their attention rather than looking for any misgivings present in the one common denominator to all their repeated failures….!.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers guys and girls!!! Thanks for all the advise I have taken it in board and will look in to making my profile more attractive etc etc... as for messages 7 never copy and paste and do make an effort... like some of u have said... i think its down to my profile. Thanknu for taking your time to reply... stay safe x

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"Cheers guys and girls!!! Thanks for all the advise I have taken it in board and will look in to making my profile more attractive etc etc... as for messages 7 never copy and paste and do make an effort... like some of u have said... i think its down to my profile. Thanknu for taking your time to reply... stay safe x "

But it may not be anything to do with your profile, it could be absolutely anything, it could be the couples/ladies etc that you are messaging. To be honest, it's all relative, it all depends on your messages and the people you are messaging.

I wish you well and have some patience

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