FabSwingers.com forum: Viz Top Tips

By *evice1987 OP Man
18 weeks ago

SW London

Can't afford expensive cords, simply sellotape spaghetti to a normal pair of jeans.

Whats your top tip?

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view

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By *ealitybitesMan
18 weeks ago

Belfast

Hi viz top with camouflage trousers sends out mixed messages

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Draw tattoos with a sharpie 👍

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By *elfordstevieMan
18 weeks ago

Telford

Save on carpeting the whole house, by strapping a small piece of carpet to each foot.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
18 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Single men - when expecting female company, be sure to leave a carefully placed tape measure around with the tape pulled out to 9 and a half inches.

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By *evice1987 OP Man
18 weeks ago

SW London

"Single men - when expecting female company, be sure to leave a carefully placed tape measure around with the tape pulled out to 9 and a half inches. "

Love this one

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By *he Silver FuxMan
18 weeks ago

Utero

Avoid expensive wear and tear of door hinges by opening doors only a little bit and squeezing through the gap

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By *cottish guy 555Man
18 weeks ago

London

Want that expensive gravel drive feeling? Put rice krispies in the tread of your tyres.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
18 weeks ago

Utero

"Avoid expensive wear and tear of door hinges by opening doors only a little bit and squeezing through the gap"

More favourites:

Save money on expensive personal number plates by changing your name to your current car's number.

Mr A771WDT Sheffield.

A Smarties tube filled with angry wasps can make an inexpensive vibrator.

Banging two pistachio nut shells together gives the impression a very small horse is approaching

Burp ‘pardon me’ to save time

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By *onin25Man
18 weeks ago

Durham

Does anyone remember Vic and Bob doing a Viz Top Tips programme? Or did I imagine it?

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By *issmorganWoman
18 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If someone knocks at your door, put your coat on to answer. If you want to avoid them you can say you're just on your way out.

If not, you can say you just got home.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

"Does anyone remember Vic and Bob doing a Viz Top Tips programme? Or did I imagine it?"

Pretty sure that is on Amazon Prime at the moment

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

If you're lucky enough to be having sex with a lovely lady and she says “Deeper, deeper” just say “Tighter” and see what happens.

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By *onin25Man
18 weeks ago

Durham

"Does anyone remember Vic and Bob doing a Viz Top Tips programme? Or did I imagine it?

Pretty sure that is on Amazon Prime at the moment "

I think I might revisit it later

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By *rightonsteveMan
18 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

If you have a carpet, stand on 1 leg to make it last twice as long.

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

Enjoy Rodeo Sex, mount your girlfriend from behind, lean in and say another girl's name and see how long you can stay on...

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By *ittleRed18Woman
18 weeks ago

Aberdeen

If you can't afford a draft excluder for your door then just compact a pile of snow along the threshold, that should do the trick - even better it's free! 😜

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

Save money by not buying expensive ribbed condoms, for her pleasure, by simply adding a handful of frozen peas to a regular condom.

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By *ornucopiaMan
18 weeks ago

Bexley

Save electricity. Wank by hand..

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By *rightonsteveMan
18 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

"Save money by not buying expensive ribbed condoms, for her pleasure, by simply adding a handful of frozen peas to a regular condom."

Rinse and reuse

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

My favourite Viz Top Tip.....

"Don't open your door. It might be burglars"

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
18 weeks ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 03/02/26 17:58:19]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
18 weeks ago

Leeds

If your Mrs is angry with you, simply wet wipe her eyebrows off and draw on some happy ones.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Save on an expensive divorce by buying a house and giving it to a stranger.

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

Avoid expensive laundry bills by giving your dirty shirts to a charity shop. They'll wash and iron them and you can then buy them back for £1.00

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By *rightonsteveMan
18 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

If you know someone called Peter, call them Pete to save time and breath

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By *onin25Man
18 weeks ago

Durham

Toblerones make excellent bike racks for hamsters

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By *kphooey43Man
18 weeks ago

Barnet

"Toblerones make excellent bike racks for hamsters"

when disposing of a body, do not dig the hole too deep so that you can make sure the bum is sticking out of the ground to enable you to store your bike.

(Billy Connolly's joke on Parkinson 50 years ago!)

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By *lynJMan
18 weeks ago

Morden

Top tip:

I've heard the Riverside waste facility/dump in Wandsworth is pretty good.

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By *arold_n_maudeCouple
18 weeks ago

preston

Wives - Pretend your old man's James Bond by watching him come into the bedroom through an empty kitchen roll tube

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By *rSmedleyMan
18 weeks ago

Telford

Top tip:

A cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a cheap yet effective vibrator

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By *onin25Man
18 weeks ago

Durham

A battenberg cake cut into 16 slices makes an ideal emergency chess board

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By *aven RedWoman
18 weeks ago

Liverpool x

"If your Mrs is angry with you, simply wet wipe her eyebrows off and draw on some happy ones.

The mr "

😂😂😂😂

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By *og and MuseCouple
18 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Don't waste money on expensive manicures, just walk across a bridge in large city with concrete sides at waist height, drag your nails and slowly rotating them to shape the edges.

If you want to do the other hand, unfortunately, you're gonna have to walk back across the bridge on the same side, alternately, cross over walk & backwards.... take your pic.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

Central

"Don't waste money on expensive manicures, just walk across a bridge in large city with concrete sides at waist height, drag your nails and slowly rotating them to shape the edges.

If you want to do the other hand, unfortunately, you're gonna have to walk back across the bridge on the same side, alternately, cross over walk & backwards.... take your pic."

After doing your hands. Take your shoes off and get the equipment of an expensive pedicure, absolutely for free.

You could even get facial microdermabrasion, doing 1 side of the face on the 1st bridge crossing, before turning back and doing the other half. Save £thousands on expensive salon treatments and look amazing

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By *og and MuseCouple
18 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Don't waste money on expensive manicures, just walk across a bridge in large city with concrete sides at waist height, drag your nails and slowly rotating them to shape the edges.

If you want to do the other hand, unfortunately, you're gonna have to walk back across the bridge on the same side, alternately, cross over walk & backwards.... take your pic.

After doing your hands. Take your shoes off and get the equipment of an expensive pedicure, absolutely for free.

Not sure how the pedicure would work ? I guess you could do a one handed handstand on a skateboard and push yourself with the other . Have you tested this ?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

Central

"Don't waste money on expensive manicures, just walk across a bridge in large city with concrete sides at waist height, drag your nails and slowly rotating them to shape the edges.

If you want to do the other hand, unfortunately, you're gonna have to walk back across the bridge on the same side, alternately, cross over walk & backwards.... take your pic.

After doing your hands. Take your shoes off and get the equipment of an expensive pedicure, absolutely for free.

Not sure how the pedicure would work ? I guess you could do a one handed handstand on a skateboard and push yourself with the other . Have you tested this ? "

No, I've not tested it

. But some hops,skips jumping and - lightly - have the bridge caress your feet, as it delivers the caring premium pedicure they deserve

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Are you a busy executive with troublesome bowels in need of clothing alterations?

Come to Touching Cloth Tailors

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By *ohn 66Man
1 week ago

South Birmingham

Thicken up runny, low fat yoghurt by sitting in a spoonful of lard

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