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"Third option - adopt " interesting third option but it is not as easy as it sounds .. the hoops that have to be jumped through and age restrictions etc stop a lot of loving parents from being able to do this | |||
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"Very tough one - if you are the kind who absolutely wants kids of their own then I am afraid I would move on I know that may seem heartless but watching a very close friend go through several failed IVF attempts, it must be heartbreaking. " indeed .. have friends and I have also witnessed the heartache they went through but fortunately it did eventually work out for them | |||
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"Third option - adopt interesting third option but it is not as easy as it sounds .. the hoops that have to be jumped through and age restrictions etc stop a lot of loving parents from being able to do this " I can see that a swinging lifestyle could be a problem Seriously, yes it's not quick or easy and lots of hoops to jump through, but can be rewarding. No relevance, but I was adopted. | |||
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" No relevance, but I was adopted." massive respect to your parents .. its one of the most selfless acts that a person can do .. take my hat off to them ! | |||
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" No relevance, but I was adopted. massive respect to your parents .. its one of the most selfless acts that a person can do .. take my hat off to them ! " I'd love to think they got something out of the deal too I'm convinced that I had quite a different and better upbringing than would otherwise have been the case. My biological mum was very young and married to a violent bastard. I did incredibly well out of it! | |||
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"I would really really like to hope that no one would decide they didn't want to be with me because I have fertility issues. There are other options when it comes to children and I'd like to hope that a relationship which was strong enough to have kids would be strong enough to go through adoption or IVF." | |||
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"Third option - adopt interesting third option but it is not as easy as it sounds .. the hoops that have to be jumped through and age restrictions etc stop a lot of loving parents from being able to do this " As an adoptive parent who now works in fostering and adoption I have to say its not as hard as people make out. We are crying out for adoptive parents and have such a shortage because of the myths around age restrictions etc which just don't exist!! I would choose my soulmate every time as fertility and becoming a parent don't have to come hand in hand!!! | |||
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" And as for adoption, it's not as easy as people think. We applied and got half way through the process of social worker visits only to be turned down on the basis of a credit card debt from when I was eighteen" exactly .. the relevance being ??? dear god !! your offering a child a family and a future .. why does that matter !?! | |||
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"would you stay with someone you loved who was infertile or move on to get the children you want elsewhere but lose your soulmate ?" I can't put myself in a position like that, I wouldn't envy anyone in a position like that either. | |||
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"It's unlikely that me and my husband will ever have children. Thankfully for me my husband loves me and is not so shallow to throw away our marriage in order to find someone to breed with. And as for adoption, it's not as easy as people think. We applied and got half way through the process of social worker visits only to be turned down on the basis of a credit card debt from when I was eighteen" They can't do that just on the basis of an old debt!! You should have gone to the IRM and complained!! | |||
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"I can't adopt due to circumstances..Shame really as I would love to give a child a home..I see enough child neglect cases a day... " I dont like to question but are you absolutely sure? There's very few reasons now that would stop adoption completely particularly with the new government permanence agendas. Adoption used to be much more difficult but the reality that perfect parents don't exist relaxed that some time ago!! | |||
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"We'd love children, but I'm infertile and adopting is not a option as I'm disabled. It's been hard be we are getting there and have 2 dogs " I got a lot of solace from a dog too ... she was a rescue dog and a lot older than what I thought she was when I bought her and she broke my heart when she died so don't think I will go down that road again ! | |||
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"I'd like to think the fact I may not be able to have children of my own wouldn't make someone not want to be with me...." but it does for some people .. its what drives them ! | |||
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"I'd like to think the fact I may not be able to have children of my own wouldn't make someone not want to be with me...." It would be a deal breaker for some. | |||
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"I'd like to think the fact I may not be able to have children of my own wouldn't make someone not want to be with me....It would be a deal breaker for some." for some people it is all the be all and end all .. I do not condone it or wish to make judgement .. just wondered what others thought ? | |||
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"I'd like to think the fact I may not be able to have children of my own wouldn't make someone not want to be with me....It would be a deal breaker for some. for some people it is all the be all and end all .. I do not condone it or wish to make judgement .. just wondered what others thought ?" I commented earlier, not a position I would like to find myself in......awful. | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.." But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.." No, your prerogative. | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? " Yes my need for children is far greatedr than my need for a soulmate.. | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? Yes my need for children is far greatedr than my need for a soulmate.. " fair enough doesn't make you shallow, we all want different things in life | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? " It's a very different situation finding out once you're with someone. I am absolutely desperate (I can't explain just how desperate) for a baby. We have been trying for 4 years, several rounds of IVF and it's just not going to happen for us. Will I leave my husband, best friend,love of my life & soulmate to go and fulfill that need? Will I hell! I want OUR baby - an expression of our love - which is why adoption is not for us. If we can't have that together then we won't have it. *Her* | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.." Not shallow. x | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? It's a very different situation finding out once you're with someone. I am absolutely desperate (I can't explain just how desperate) for a baby. We have been trying for 4 years, several rounds of IVF and it's just not going to happen for us. Will I leave my husband, best friend,love of my life & soulmate to go and fulfill that need? Will I hell! I want OUR baby - an expression of our love - which is why adoption is not for us. If we can't have that together then we won't have it. *Her* " I completely understand where you are coming from..I guess I am seeing it now today as I am single and if I met someone and issues arose then I need to sit down and really think about it..I guess I have this ideal in my head as I have not met the special one... I have ended relationships because they don't want kids... | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? It's a very different situation finding out once you're with someone. I am absolutely desperate (I can't explain just how desperate) for a baby. We have been trying for 4 years, several rounds of IVF and it's just not going to happen for us. Will I leave my husband, best friend,love of my life & soulmate to go and fulfill that need? Will I hell! I want OUR baby - an expression of our love - which is why adoption is not for us. If we can't have that together then we won't have it. *Her* " This! I hope you get your baby one day...there's always hope! | |||
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"Like I said earlier it is a deal breaker if someone has had the snip..shallow I know.. But that's before you know them, are you sure you'd feel the same if you fell for someone and was happy with them, then found out years down the line? It's a very different situation finding out once you're with someone. I am absolutely desperate (I can't explain just how desperate) for a baby. We have been trying for 4 years, several rounds of IVF and it's just not going to happen for us. Will I leave my husband, best friend,love of my life & soulmate to go and fulfill that need? Will I hell! I want OUR baby - an expression of our love - which is why adoption is not for us. If we can't have that together then we won't have it. *Her* " I thought like that after years of infertility and failed IVF. I thought that a baby wasn't mine unless I'd carried it and given birth to it till the some say selfish need to be a mother took over and I did with trepidation go down the adoption route!! I can though hand on heart say its by far the best decision I ever made in my whole life and made the years of infertility hell disappear. She is mine it out a single doubt. No amount of biology would make her anymore mine than she is and indeed was from the very first moment I saw a slightly blurry Polaroid and knew that she was meant to be with me. For me parenting with someone is more a out the expression of love not the biology of it but I totally understand not everyone gets that as years ago neither would I. I hope you get your miracle as I did nearly 12 years ago and still wake up everyday thankful that she's mine | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs " Cynic.... | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... " Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff " like your thinking!! | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff like your thinking!! " It's what we all want really.. Soul mate.. Where's my bucket.. I just made a little sick in my mouth haha | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff like your thinking!! It's what we all want really.. Soul mate.. Where's my bucket.. I just made a little sick in my mouth haha " lol I don't believe in the "one"..I believe in the almost one.. | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff like your thinking!! It's what we all want really.. Soul mate.. Where's my bucket.. I just made a little sick in my mouth haha lol I don't believe in the "one"..I believe in the almost one.. " If that fails.. Any"one" | |||
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"There's no such feckin thing as a soul mate ffs.. Soul mate searching + time = loneliness spinsterism cats dogs Cynic.... Realist there's good sex with someone you find funny cute and can chat about stuff like your thinking!! It's what we all want really.. Soul mate.. Where's my bucket.. I just made a little sick in my mouth haha lol I don't believe in the "one"..I believe in the almost one.. or you..lol If that fails.. Any"one" " | |||
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"Surely anyone in a real relationship would never have a condition like that attached to it..... " | |||
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"My mother was adopted,I was adopted and I adopted my boy. Being the biological part of bringing a child into this world doesn't make you a parent,supporting,protecting and nurturing that child is what makes you a parent. " Well put | |||
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"I think grief took over me for some time and to a point it still has...On the 12 June my baby would of been 2...To this day not a day goes by where I don't think about it...Some days its a struggle for me.. When I lost the baby I just wanted to get pregnant again to feel the feeling of being pregnant again..To this day I still have those feelings but it gets easier and I am no longer desperate...To be honest I am still grieving to a point I feel like I am to blame for losing my child.. I worry that I will never get pregnant again..I have been to the doctors and they have done tests and said I am fine..I do have some damage as a result of injuries from an abusive relationship... Anyway I sound like a weirdo so I will wrap it up here.." You dont sound like a weirdo at all. You sound like somebody who has been through a lot and is coming to terms with it. I really wish you all the best that one day motherhood will happen to you, one way or another. There is nothing more fulfilling than rasing a child, whether it is biologically yours or not. | |||
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"I have read a lot of your posts over the time and what strikes me about you is that you are an incredibly resilient and strong woman who has overcome so many knocks along the way. I find you quite inspirational to be honest at how you manage to bounce back and continue regardless of what life throws at you. Stay strong and carry on " What don't kill you makes you stronger... | |||
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"would you stay with someone you loved who was infertile or move on to get the children you want elsewhere but lose your soulmate ?" My hubby stayed with me, been married 17 years now...we compromised and bought a puppy | |||
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" My hubby stayed with me, been married 17 years now...we compromised and bought a puppy " and I bet he's brought a load of joy to you both .. they can be extremely mischeivious wee minxes but we love them anyway ! | |||
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" My hubby stayed with me, been married 17 years now...we compromised and bought a puppy and I bet he's brought a load of joy to you both .. they can be extremely mischeivious wee minxes but we love them anyway ! " He certainly has, he's totally spoilt, I mother him too much but he's so tiny and loves it...I know, I'm a total sap lol | |||
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"would you stay with someone you loved who was infertile or move on to get the children you want elsewhere but lose your soulmate ?" When you meet your true soulmate, as wonderful as children would be I don't really think you could move on. I know I couldn't | |||
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" When you meet your true soulmate, as wonderful as children would be I don't really think you could move on. I know I couldn't" my bloke is the epicentre of my life .. I also couldn't cope with life without him .. its a nice thing to have when you have it but also terrifying if you think it could be taken from you | |||
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" When you meet your true soulmate, as wonderful as children would be I don't really think you could move on. I know I couldn't my bloke is the epicentre of my life .. I also couldn't cope with life without him .. its a nice thing to have when you have it but also terrifying if you think it could be taken from you " | |||
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