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OMFG what do we do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

my hubby thought he had clicked out of his profile on here and he hadn't!! our 15yr old daughter guessed his password on his laptop and saw his profile on here shit shit and even bigger shit!!! has this happened to anyone else and what do we say/do? On the profile it says he would like to have fun with full knowledge of his wife and then there's the pics of him starkers......OMFG

Want to die right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ouch....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow difficult umm site her down and try and explain my dad is a swinger and told me i was fine with it but thats because im on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooops..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No advice sorry but *hugs*

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Set better passwords.

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By *razykayakersCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Just admit to it, talk to her about it and apologise for letting her see it, tell her it's something that you both enjoy and that it doesn't mean you don't love each other or anything like that.

Hopefully she's the kind of girl who'd appreciate being spoken to as an adult about it?

Also possibly ask her to be discreet about it and not tell friends about it, as it could have consequences she might not have thought about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oppsy!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

god knows how she worked out the password, physically feel sick, she is actually laughing about it but I'm not

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By *razykayakersCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"I have 3 nosey kids"

- yep, you're right about that

She's probably suspected it for some time, kids aren't daft.

Hope you feel better about it soon, you do realise she's going to enjoy this chance to get a little of her own back on mummy and daddy now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"god knows how she worked out the password, physically feel sick, she is actually laughing about it but I'm not "

Keep an eye on her facebook updates

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks guys....thanks for the advice, can't even look at her right now...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am logged into this site because she has gone to work and will be home at 8pm so i'm going to talk to her then......just wanted advice before I did x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slap her upside the head for putting the password in!

Not much you can do really, if you are not 101% certain she did read it then least said soonest mended. if she comes to you with it then you will have to explain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Slap her upside the head for putting the password in!

Not much you can do really, if you are not 101% certain she did read it then least said soonest mended. if she comes to you with it then you will have to explain. "

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"Slap her upside the head for putting the password in!

Not much you can do really, if you are not 101% certain she did read it then least said soonest mended. if she comes to you with it then you will have to explain. "

and in the meantime give your hubby a thick ear....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"thanks guys....thanks for the advice, can't even look at her right now..."

Take a breather for ten minutes, calm yourself down then talk to her. You absolutely have to discuss it but emphasise that your sex life is your business and what she saw was accidental and a one off. Don't feel ashamed or imply to her that you are and don't let her use this to gain any sort of hold over you. She isn't an adult but neither is she a child and you need to control this situation. I also think she might feel pretty upset so you'll have to tread carefully.

Good luck this will pass.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I seriously could kill my hubby...kids are nosey i know that so i'm not blaming her in any way, i will speak to her when she comes in, wish me luck cos i think im gonna need it!!

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By *1KandiCouple
over a year ago

Jacksonville

Deny - Deny - Deny

Laugh it off - Act like nothing happen - The more big deal you make of it the more your child is going to be wanting to find out more about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should make a point of spending some quality time with her on her own….

Maybe you could arrange to take her out for a shopping trip and do lunch together in grown-up setting where you can give her the chance to un-pack her thoughts in her own way and in her own time….

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks guys, i will update you when i have spoken to her, thats if ive not died of embarrassment xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine how she must be feeling... if i saw pictures of my old man naked online i would be scarred for life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always a chance of this happening if you have teenagers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blackmail.com springs to mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my hubby thought he had clicked out of his profile on here and he hadn't!! our 15yr old daughter guessed his password on his laptop and saw his profile on here shit shit and even bigger shit!!! has this happened to anyone else and what do we say/do? On the profile it says he would like to have fun with full knowledge of his wife and then there's the pics of him starkers......OMFG

Want to die right now "

I'd deny all knowledge and let him take all the stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crystal wheels, soo kyle experts at everything lol not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for starters I think i'd hide all veri's and pictures,in case she goes on while at work on her phoneunless you have already changed your password

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"Crystal wheels, soo kyle experts at everything lol not!"

ehhhh ??

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By *ysteryboatMan
over a year ago

Brighton

stop her pocket money for a month for invading your privacy.

sounds stupid ?

1) it'll teach her that there's often a price to pay for invading other people's privacy.

2) she'll realise that there'll probably be a heavier price to pay if she posts it all over facebook.

it's what i'd do but i'm not a parent so probably best to discount my suggestion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

"
She's looking for advice.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"my hubby thought he had clicked out of his profile on here and he hadn't!! our 15yr old daughter guessed his password on his laptop and saw his profile on here shit shit and even bigger shit!!! has this happened to anyone else and what do we say/do? On the profile it says he would like to have fun with full knowledge of his wife and then there's the pics of him starkers......OMFG

Want to die right now "

Personally, I'd have a word about boundaries and invading others privacy.

I most certainly would not be explaining anything to anyone, especially my child. I'm sure she got more than she bargined for by over stepping boundaries. I'm sure she's bleaching her eyes as we speak!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?"
I've noticed that you guys always seem to post, cynical, negative comments.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Just admit to it, talk to her about it and apologise for letting her see it, tell her it's something that you both enjoy and that it doesn't mean you don't love each other or anything like that.

Hopefully she's the kind of girl who'd appreciate being spoken to as an adult about it?

Also possibly ask her to be discreet about it and not tell friends about it, as it could have consequences she might not have thought about. "

Is it any wonder we're going to hell in a hand basket: parents apologising to their children, when the child is in the wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her? I've noticed that you guys always seem to post, cynical, negative comments."
totally agree with you ,ive noticed this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crystal wheels, soo kyle experts at everything lol not!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we sure its not the daughter actually making the post

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Are we sure its not the daughter actually making the post "

Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are we sure its not the daughter actually making the post

Lol! "
That is scary.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"stop her pocket money for a month for invading your privacy.

sounds stupid ?

1) it'll teach her that there's often a price to pay for invading other people's privacy.

2) she'll realise that there'll probably be a heavier price to pay if she posts it all over facebook.

it's what i'd do but i'm not a parent so probably best to discount my suggestion."

Not being a parent doesn't mean that your suggestions aren't valid, I often used to find my childfree friends had a different perspective that could be useful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my hubby thought he had clicked out of his profile on here and he hadn't!! our 15yr old daughter guessed his password on his laptop and saw his profile on here shit shit and even bigger shit!!! has this happened to anyone else and what do we say/do? On the profile it says he would like to have fun with full knowledge of his wife and then there's the pics of him starkers......OMFG

Want to die right now

Personally, I'd have a word about boundaries and invading others privacy.

I most certainly would not be explaining anything to anyone, especially my child. I'm sure she got more than she bargined for by over stepping boundaries. I'm sure she's bleaching her eyes as we speak! "

you have the right idea.

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?"

Be interesting to hear Your possible answer to the op`s question..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?"

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting "
Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/05/13 20:09:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

Be interesting to hear Your possible answer to the op`s question.. "

Well my answer, as implied with my post, would be that it would be better to be talking to her. And maybe question my own internet security.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x"

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway "
Or do they? lol Kids ain't that stupid and a lot more computer aware then adults.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

soxy .. as always .. the voice of reason !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes agree with Soxy, open, supportive discussion. I do think boundaries as far as privacy should be discussed though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway Or do they? lol Kids ain't that stupid and a lot more computer aware then adults."

how the bloody hell would my kids know what i was doing at work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway Or do they? lol Kids ain't that stupid and a lot more computer aware then adults.

how the bloody hell would my kids know what i was doing at work? "
lol I mean on your phone and you should'nt be on fab at work, naughty girl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/05/13 20:15:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids make mistakes... it's part of growing-up,,,

But I would have thought punishing her was a totally inappropriate reaction.

It hardly seems right to inflict further distress upon her,

…… Surely her emotional wellbeing comes first….

At just 15 yr old shes probably quite confused by what must be a traumatic discovery about her parents secret life ,,,

Her true feelings maybe locked up in private truma…

Handle it with TLC,,,not punishment

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

My sisters had my account hacked a while back to find out what was happening in my private life. When I came back down to earth and had all their keys for my house back and then took a deep breath. All I said was it was my private life and if they wanted me to start digging into their's to carry on.. Then a put a thumb print reader on everything.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


"god knows how she worked out the password"

Check what happens when you first go onto this site - if you or your husband told the browser to remember the password it will be their automatically...

And you might want to remove that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway Or do they? lol Kids ain't that stupid and a lot more computer aware then adults.

how the bloody hell would my kids know what i was doing at work? lol I mean on your phone and you should'nt be on fab at work, naughty girl x"

nah i doubt it, i have a 18 and 20 year old daughters and i suppose there's nothing to stop them opening their own profiles and finding me on here, that's the risk you take when you join such sites, cant see it happening tho knowing my girls but they don't have to see you using fab to find you, anyone can open a profile on here and find you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do people tell their kids there doing online when their on here all day?

Surely kids must suspect something?

i sit on my phone so my kids think im texting Bloody hell, they must think you've got a million friends.

Your always on here. x

ah well that's only when im at home, in the day im at work so they don't know what im doing anyway Or do they? lol Kids ain't that stupid and a lot more computer aware then adults.

how the bloody hell would my kids know what i was doing at work? lol I mean on your phone and you should'nt be on fab at work, naughty girl x

nah i doubt it, i have a 18 and 20 year old daughters and i suppose there's nothing to stop them opening their own profiles and finding me on here, that's the risk you take when you join such sites, cant see it happening tho knowing my girls but they don't have to see you using fab to find you, anyone can open a profile on here and find you "
I know just playing with you babe, but if they did open an account on here, I'm sure they would'nt count on finding you here either.

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By *lippi WenwetCouple
over a year ago

tynemouth

ouch! we hide everything in the bedroom but men dont think I blame him, mine left our handcuffs out, I got out of it by saying its a fishing rod tie, keeps them together it worked a treat until they announced it in the backgarden that dad uses handcuffs to keep his rods together but left them on the bedroom floor,in front of all the nieghbours, blindfold is for when mam gets headaches and walking into a locked bedroom saying why is mam blowing raspas on your belly (quick gulp swallow blow raspa) but i can get away with it, for now, I have absolutely no idea what to say apart from either its a joke for one of her dads friends or depending hhow smart she is, be honest but tell her the basics only, i really feel for you xxx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Kids make mistakes... it's part of growing-up,,,

But I would have thought punishing her was a totally inappropriate reaction.

It hardly seems right to inflict further distress upon her,

…… Surely her emotional wellbeing comes first….

At just 15 yr old shes probably quite confused by what must be a traumatic discovery about her parents secret life ,,,

Her true feelings maybe locked up in private truma…

Handle it with TLC,,,not punishment "

The op said her daughter was laughing at her: hardly sounds traumatised to me. She's a snoop and has no respect for boundaries: that would concern me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have to come of age and realise our parents have a sex life.

In the long run not a big deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kids make mistakes... it's part of growing-up,,,

But I would have thought punishing her was a totally inappropriate reaction.

It hardly seems right to inflict further distress upon her,

…… Surely her emotional wellbeing comes first….

At just 15 yr old shes probably quite confused by what must be a traumatic discovery about her parents secret life ,,,

Her true feelings maybe locked up in private truma…

Handle it with TLC,,,not punishment

The op said her daughter was laughing at her: hardly sounds traumatised to me. She's a snoop and has no respect for boundaries: that would concern me."
What 15 year old would'nt laugh, only way she would know how to deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me start off by saying this: I don't envy your position right now. I think you and your husband need to present a united front on this. I also think that you need to have a long long conversation with her and firstly explain that you 2 are adults and what you do in your free time is not anyone's business but your own. 2nd, Privacy...she needs to learn boundaries and to respect your privacy as much as she'd like you to respect hers...I'd not only take away her internet usage (it was a privilege when my teens were in the house)but all computer usage and I'm sorry but little Miss would've just lost hers for an unlimited time. 3rd, you need to explain that what happens in your family stays in the immediate family.

I know you feel like you're in the bad position here and it was stupid if it was on a shared computer but overall, you are the parents, she's the kid and SHE messed up...she snooped when she shouldn't have.

I don't mean any of this harshly but you are gonna need to take control of this situation from the get go and stand your ground.

Good luck!!!

M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i must be the only parent who would have a go at there child for lack of privacy and if she thinks its funny ask for her password so u can read her text messages see how funny she thinks it is then. while leaving it so she can put password in maybe silly my daughter wouldn't want to know what i do. equally i wont want to know what she is doing when she is doing it etc. some boundaries just dont get crossed thats one of them. i would question why she wanted to know and if its to hold it over your heads i would defintely be taking her privacy away as punishment. but then maybe as i have often be accused of i am a mean mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let me start off by saying this: I don't envy your position right now. I think you and your husband need to present a united front on this. I also think that you need to have a long long conversation with her and firstly explain that you 2 are adults and what you do in your free time is not anyone's business but your own. 2nd, Privacy...she needs to learn boundaries and to respect your privacy as much as she'd like you to respect hers...I'd not only take away her internet usage (it was a privilege when my teens were in the house)but all computer usage and I'm sorry but little Miss would've just lost hers for an unlimited time. 3rd, you need to explain that what happens in your family stays in the immediate family.

I know you feel like you're in the bad position here and it was stupid if it was on a shared computer but overall, you are the parents, she's the kid and SHE messed up...she snooped when she shouldn't have.

I don't mean any of this harshly but you are gonna need to take control of this situation from the get go and stand your ground.

Good luck!!!

M"
yeah then ask if she can make herself scarce sat night, because Mummy's being gangbanged lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Let me start off by saying this: I don't envy your position right now. I think you and your husband need to present a united front on this. I also think that you need to have a long long conversation with her and firstly explain that you 2 are adults and what you do in your free time is not anyone's business but your own. 2nd, Privacy...she needs to learn boundaries and to respect your privacy as much as she'd like you to respect hers...I'd not only take away her internet usage (it was a privilege when my teens were in the house)but all computer usage and I'm sorry but little Miss would've just lost hers for an unlimited time. 3rd, you need to explain that what happens in your family stays in the immediate family.

I know you feel like you're in the bad position here and it was stupid if it was on a shared computer but overall, you are the parents, she's the kid and SHE messed up...she snooped when she shouldn't have.

I don't mean any of this harshly but you are gonna need to take control of this situation from the get go and stand your ground.

Good luck!!!

M"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds to me as if she'll think you both rock!!!

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

Be interesting to hear Your possible answer to the op`s question..

Well my answer, as implied with my post, would be that it would be better to be talking to her. And maybe question my own internet security.

"

Maybe you should have said it that way first then.. its a much nicer post

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By *ysteryboatMan
over a year ago

Brighton


"stop her pocket money for a month for invading your privacy.

sounds stupid ?

1) it'll teach her that there's often a price to pay for invading other people's privacy.

2) she'll realise that there'll probably be a heavier price to pay if she posts it all over facebook.

it's what i'd do but i'm not a parent so probably best to discount my suggestion.

Not being a parent doesn't mean that your suggestions aren't valid, I often used to find my childfree friends had a different perspective that could be useful. "

thank you for the vote of confidence. it's not impossible (although improbably) that i may yet become a parent so glad that my suggestion wasn't seen as overly draconian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"stop her pocket money for a month for invading your privacy.

sounds stupid ?

1) it'll teach her that there's often a price to pay for invading other people's privacy.

2) she'll realise that there'll probably be a heavier price to pay if she posts it all over facebook.

it's what i'd do but i'm not a parent so probably best to discount my suggestion."

I actually agree with you how would she feel if you logged onto her emails or facebook messages privacy and passwords are there for a reason ... big mistrust on your daughters part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i must be the only parent who would have a go at there child for lack of privacy and if she thinks its funny ask for her password so u can read her text messages see how funny she thinks it is then. while leaving it so she can put password in maybe silly my daughter wouldn't want to know what i do. equally i wont want to know what she is doing when she is doing it etc. some boundaries just dont get crossed thats one of them. i would question why she wanted to know and if its to hold it over your heads i would defintely be taking her privacy away as punishment. but then maybe as i have often be accused of i am a mean mother "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"god knows how she worked out the password, physically feel sick, she is actually laughing about it but I'm not "
well if she is laughing about it your 1/2 way there to sorting it out,as some have said, but I would let her come to you, and if does explain, if not let it go

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"i must be the only parent who would have a go at there child for lack of privacy and if she thinks its funny ask for her password so u can read her text messages see how funny she thinks it is then. while leaving it so she can put password in maybe silly my daughter wouldn't want to know what i do. equally i wont want to know what she is doing when she is doing it etc. some boundaries just dont get crossed thats one of them. i would question why she wanted to know and if its to hold it over your heads i would defintely be taking her privacy away as punishment. but then maybe as i have often be accused of i am a mean mother "

If only we had more "mean" parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

She's looking for advice."

I don't have kids but if I did or a my dad etc found me on here I'd be gone! End of story not still logging in and discussing it with strangers when instead the OP should be speaking to her kid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"god knows how she worked out the password, physically feel sick, she is actually laughing about it but I'm not well if she is laughing about it your 1/2 way there to sorting it out,as some have said, but I would let her come to you, and if does explain, if not let it go"

She could be laughing through embarressment nervous teenager

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

o fuck !

the worst thing is ( no offense to woman ) but she will tell a mate that she tells everything to ,

the mate she tells will have another mate she tells everything to

and she will have a mate with the biggest mouth going ,

sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"o fuck !

the worst thing is ( no offense to woman ) but she will tell a mate that she tells everything to ,

the mate she tells will have another mate she tells everything to

and she will have a mate with the biggest mouth going ,

sorry"

you may be right there, even when they are in there twenties they tell their mates stuff, after they have had a few drinks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"o fuck !

the worst thing is ( no offense to woman ) but she will tell a mate that she tells everything to ,

the mate she tells will have another mate she tells everything to

and she will have a mate with the biggest mouth going ,

sorry"

If i fou d my parents on here i certainly wouldnt tell a soul

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"o fuck !

the worst thing is ( no offense to woman ) but she will tell a mate that she tells everything to ,

the mate she tells will have another mate she tells everything to

and she will have a mate with the biggest mouth going ,

sorry"

I doubt it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just tell her if she tells anyway the people she loves will die !

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"

I don't have kids but if I did or a my dad etc found me on here I'd be gone! End of story not still logging in and discussing it with strangers when instead the OP should be speaking to her kid "

She did post earlier to say her daughter was at work til 8 and she was asking what to say before her daughter came home.

OP, I'm sorry I havent a clue. But I hope you all get it sorted.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"Just admit to it, talk to her about it and apologise for letting her see it, tell her it's something that you both enjoy and that it doesn't mean you don't love each other or anything like that.

Hopefully she's the kind of girl who'd appreciate being spoken to as an adult about it?

Also possibly ask her to be discreet about it and not tell friends about it, as it could have consequences she might not have thought about. "

********

The girl is 15 and SNOOPING.. she saw things you would rather she didnt.. its none of her business and no I dont believe you should apologise. Just say well thats what happens when you snoop.

Try turning tables and ask if she wants you to snoop on her lap top/fone/ipad/ bet she already guards those. Its only sex after all. Has she not seen her dad naked already surely this isnt a surprise.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Really only you know how to deal with this situation - we don't know anything about your daughter - is she introvert or extrovert - is she savvy or had a sheltered life - how do you normally parent? There are loads of factors that would shape how this could affect her - i'd also suggest better passwords! Good luck Z

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Its like looking through a partners phone sometimes it don't pay to be nosey you find more than what you are bargined for..Its your life and she seems that she is of an age when she would understand that even parents have a life... If she has questions answer them...However remain the parent.. As young adults they get embrassed but things will be forgotten when she want to borrow money. (only using that as an example).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"things will be forgotten when she want to borrow money. (only using that as an example)."

...or a laptop!lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would certainly have an adult talk about it, but I'd be hiding my profile also just in the off chance she looks further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very swift and sharp lesson in life for your daughter as well as yourself!

If you go looking then dont be surprised when you find things that you dont like! Snooping never ends well.

Buy a security dongle like fingerprint type, then can only log on to comp with your/his finger.

Talk to her, shes big enough to go looking where she knew that she shouldnt of been looking, i.e. trying passwords on other peoples computers, then she should be bi enough to understand that you also have a life, a life that in normal everyday life that you protect her from, it is called a private life for a reason after all.

it might take time for her to come to terms with your fun, but many a parent swings and i am sure that many a family member finds out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up."

i think she's 15 - so lets hope she doesn't have a sex life! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up."

Original post says daughter fifteen yet she working? Bit odd working so late at her age.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"

Original post says daughter fifteen yet she working? Bit odd working so late at her age."

Not necessarily.

I was a waitress when I was 15/16 and would work late during school holidays.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon


"Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up.

Original post says daughter fifteen yet she working? Bit odd working so late at her age."

She was working until 8pm, hardly late.

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By *ammy007Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Call me a bar steward but that is really funny. I think you should laugh with her and say something along the lines of: You fathers a randy bugger what ever you saw don't worry about it as I am not!

Sometimes going down the more serious route can be more tricky. The more the serious 1 to 1 you have the more questions could be raised. Far better to laugh it of with her and more forward. I would not make a big deal about it, if anything let her know that's what can happen if you have weak passwords!

So for all of you out there please do not use the following:

Anything family related

Mother maiden name

pet

Kids names

Places you lived

your own name

One of my passed mother maiden name passwords was "thequickbrownfoxlazydog"

Easy to remember but it does not relate to me and thus even if you know me you are not going to guess it or work it out.

If any one wants more info on computer security please email me for advice. Like wise your online name should not relate to you either.

Jammy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up.

i think she's 15 - so lets hope she doesn't have a sex life! Z"

Oops! Thought older

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

From some of the replies on this thread I think some people forget that swinging is not the "norm". A teenage girl seeing something like that could easily come to the conclusion her dad is cheating on her Mum or at very least think her parents aren't who she thought they were her whole life, that's got to be upsetting to any child. And don't forget she is still a child, as children ARE nosy, it's how they learn about the world, it's just most kids don't find out their parents are deviants (meant in the nicest possible way) when they simply wanted to use Dad's computer.

There is no way anyone here could really advise you on the best way to deal with this as we don't know you or your daughter, as someone said earlier it depends on her personality and your previous parenting style as to how you deal with it, whether you come clean and have it all out in the open or whether you try to protect her from it and say it was a prank or something. The main thing is you have to deal with it as a couple so she doesn't think there is something wrong in your relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"stop her pocket money for a month for invading your privacy.

sounds stupid ?

1) it'll teach her that there's often a price to pay for invading other people's privacy.

2) she'll realise that there'll probably be a heavier price to pay if she posts it all over facebook.

it's what i'd do but i'm not a parent so probably best to discount my suggestion.

Not being a parent doesn't mean that your suggestions aren't valid, I often used to find my childfree friends had a different perspective that could be useful.

thank you for the vote of confidence. it's not impossible (although improbably) that i may yet become a parent so glad that my suggestion wasn't seen as overly draconian."

I wouldn't personally stop her pocket money because I think this is a very sensitive situation, 15 is a delicate age and however she came to see what she may have seen its potentially upsetting for her. My view is that stopping pocket money etc would hamper the communication that must take place between parents and child now. BUT I do think your suggestions would help me (at least)see the situation in a different light and let me see that the daughter wasn't entirely innocent of wrong doing in all of this. As a parent its all too easy to get bogged down in these types of situations and often the opinion of a childfree friend as I said can let you see it all from a different angle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From some of the replies on this thread I think some people forget that swinging is not the "norm". A teenage girl seeing something like that could easily come to the conclusion her dad is cheating on her Mum or at very least think her parents aren't who she thought they were her whole life, that's got to be upsetting to any child. And don't forget she is still a child, as children ARE nosy, it's how they learn about the world, it's just most kids don't find out their parents are deviants (meant in the nicest possible way) when they simply wanted to use Dad's computer.

There is no way anyone here could really advise you on the best way to deal with this as we don't know you or your daughter, as someone said earlier it depends on her personality and your previous parenting style as to how you deal with it, whether you come clean and have it all out in the open or whether you try to protect her from it and say it was a prank or something. The main thing is you have to deal with it as a couple so she doesn't think there is something wrong in your relationship."

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Tell her it was sick uncle Kevin's idea of a joke. He set up the profile and cut/pasted daddy's head onto the naked man's body, and mummy and daddy don't have a sex life. Parent sex is abhorrant to most kids she might be accepting of any excuse (but I doubt it).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Daughter might be gutted that you are having a better sex life than her (says on post somewhere that she is at work, so I pressume daughter in late teens/twenty odd).

Laughing at you though, not on!!!

Tell her to grow up.

Original post says daughter fifteen yet she working? Bit odd working so late at her age."
is it? I worked since I was 13.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thank you for all the replies, i appreciate all the different views.........my daughter is indeed 15 and has a little part time job at a takeaway to earn extra pocket money, so hope that answers some of the questions As for being on here talking to strangers when i should have been talking to my daughter..as mentioned in one of my posts she was at work, thank u to people who pointed that out on my behalf

We sat her down before and spoke to her about the situation, explained we are adults who are just having a bit of fun and that she shouldnt have accessed her dads laptop without permission.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thank you for all the replies, i appreciate all the different views.........my daughter is indeed 15 and has a little part time job at a takeaway to earn extra pocket money, so hope that answers some of the questions As for being on here talking to strangers when i should have been talking to my daughter..as mentioned in one of my posts she was at work, thank u to people who pointed that out on my behalf

We sat her down before and spoke to her about the situation, explained we are adults who are just having a bit of fun and that she shouldnt have accessed her dads laptop without permission....."

how did she take it? Glad it's all sorted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

she seemed to take it quite well to be honest, i tried to play it down (as in i didnt act all embarassed etc) her biggest worry was that she thought her dad was up to no good behind my back, i just explained that i knew all about it and it was something we did together occasionally x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it looks like her allowance has just increased by50%

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

How did you find out she looked at the profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you best put your hand in your pocket n buy her her own laptop so she has no need to use yours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would demand access to all forms of social media phone passwords the lot see how she likes it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lie!!! You must lie!!! I thought a vibrator was a record cleaner til I was a teenager, I found it that what I was told and I excepted it when old enough to know.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Glad it's all sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Glad it's all sorted. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thank you for all the replies, i appreciate all the different views.........my daughter is indeed 15 and has a little part time job at a takeaway to earn extra pocket money, so hope that answers some of the questions As for being on here talking to strangers when i should have been talking to my daughter..as mentioned in one of my posts she was at work, thank u to people who pointed that out on my behalf

We sat her down before and spoke to her about the situation, explained we are adults who are just having a bit of fun and that she shouldnt have accessed her dads laptop without permission....."

Pleased to hear you both spoke to her and that (fingers crossed) it's all sorted.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her? I've noticed that you guys always seem to post, cynical, negative comments."

I have noticed that as well . It must be nice to be you guy and know every thing , to never have to ask advice !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There were no P.C's about when we were 15 but there's no way we would have checked out any of our parents personal things, or tried to delve further if we found them by chance.

We most definately wouldn't tell them what we'd done either for fear of a good hiding and also because we'd have been to embarrassed to broach the subject with them.

Once again it seems another,all too common, case of the tail wagging the dog.

XXXX

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Just a thought, but if you are so mortified, why are you logged on to the site rather than talking to her?

Be interesting to hear Your possible answer to the op`s question..

Well my answer, as implied with my post, would be that it would be better to be talking to her. And maybe question my own internet security.

"

To be fair not everyone will read into your post of what you really meant and will just see what you had written which wasn't in the same vein at all.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP....I am glad you have hopefully sorted it....I would have been worried like you that the daughter was thinking your husband was playing away which for me would have been worse than them finding out we are swingers.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"There were no P.C's about when we were 15 but there's no way we would have checked out any of our parents personal things, or tried to delve further if we found them by chance.

We most definately wouldn't tell them what we'd done either for fear of a good hiding and also because we'd have been to embarrassed to broach the subject with them.

Once again it seems another,all too common, case of the tail wagging the dog.

XXXX"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"god knows how she worked out the password, physically feel sick, she is actually laughing about it but I'm not well if she is laughing about it your 1/2 way there to sorting it out,as some have said, but I would let her come to you, and if does explain, if not let it go

She could be laughing through embarressment nervous teenager "

Knowing my daughter who's 15. It would be just that. As long as mum and dad have a strong bond. I doubt it will cause any damage. But who knows what goes on in a teenagers head. Lesson learnt for all parties concerned.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Just say you are doing research work on behalf of Sydney University.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

hi guys, i've spoken again to her this morning and explained the best way i could, told her that none of us are cheating on each other and that we are both fully aware of whats what....just said basically that whatever me and her dad do will never change the fact that we love each other and love her the same and that nothing has changed, this is just something we have done occasionally........she replied "i think its good after 23yrs together that you can still have fun whatever it may be and that will teach me to go noseying"....i told her i would rather be as honest with her as i can be without going into too much detail, she said she appreciated that, i also told her that if she finds she has any questions she can think of then she must come to me and ask rather than putting 2 & 2 together and coming up with 6! I won't mention it to her again now and just hope things settle, in the meantime im goin to strangle my husband so watch this space!! xx

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

So glad things have turned out ok. Sounds like she is a very mature, sensible girl and you handled a very tricky situation really well.

Phew!!!

And a lesson to all of us to have uncrackable passwords too !!!

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id ground her til she has forgotten about it youd be suprised how quick she ll move on

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By *neplusserMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Glad it's sorted out. That scenario can be stored on the fab bloober reel

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By *neplusserMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Glad it's sorted out. That scenario can be stored on the fab bloober reel "

Blooper even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like you've handled it well and your daughter is a credit to you for being understanding

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"I seriously could kill my hubby...kids are nosey i know that so i'm not blaming her in any way"

But it was nobodies fault but hers.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"hi guys, i've spoken again to her this morning and explained the best way i could, told her that none of us are cheating on each other and that we are both fully aware of whats what....just said basically that whatever me and her dad do will never change the fact that we love each other and love her the same and that nothing has changed, this is just something we have done occasionally........she replied "i think its good after 23yrs together that you can still have fun whatever it may be and that will teach me to go noseying"....i told her i would rather be as honest with her as i can be without going into too much detail, she said she appreciated that, i also told her that if she finds she has any questions she can think of then she must come to me and ask rather than putting 2 & 2 together and coming up with 6! I won't mention it to her again now and just hope things settle, in the meantime im goin to strangle my husband so watch this space!! xx"

...but what did your husband do wrong?!!

He password protected HIS laptop, your daughter overstepped HER boundaries and he gets it in the neck?!!

I don't get that at all.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I seriously could kill my hubby...kids are nosey i know that so i'm not blaming her in any way

But it was nobodies fault but hers."

I was beginning to think I was going mad!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"I seriously could kill my hubby...kids are nosey i know that so i'm not blaming her in any way

But it was nobodies fault but hers.

I was beginning to think I was going mad! "

The daughter should not have 'snooped' and the parents don't have to apologise for swinging.

BUT ....

It's very difficult to 'guess' a password.

She's fifteen and has had access to an adult sex site allowed by lack of vigilance/care/ responsible behaviour by the adults in charge.

That for me that is crucial.

They are the adults responsible for ensuring her safety and that includes ensuring she doesn't have access to sex sites.

She may very well need some advice on why it's wrong to snoop but she is not the person who made 'discovery' and 'indiscretion' possible.

Adults in 'charge' would do well to NOT scapegoat children and accept they were responsible for their own outing.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

[Removed by poster at 30/05/13 13:01:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't be arsed to read all the responses but in case no-one else has done it....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Funniest thing I've read in ages. Sorry for the situation you're now in and everything but hahahahahahahahahahaha!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"I can't be arsed to read all the responses but in case no-one else has done it....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Funniest thing I've read in ages. Sorry for the situation you're now in and everything but hahahahahahahahahahaha! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oopsie

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Jodie .... Do you do hospital visiting dear ?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I can't be arsed to read all the responses but in case no-one else has done it....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Funniest thing I've read in ages. Sorry for the situation you're now in and everything but hahahahahahahahahahaha! "

why is someone elses 'misfortune' so funny..?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for all the positive advice from tons of people as for the people who are laughing at my expensive, im glad i've entertained you, hopefully u won't find ureself in my position one day. I came on here for advice and yes we messed up and now we are paying the price, thank u again to all who gave the serious, genuine advice it has been very much appreciated xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just to set the record straight.....if u read my original post i did mention that my daughter didn't purposly go snoopin on a sex site. why would she? she managed to get on to my hubbies laptop searching for something entirely different for her own personal use even though she has her own laptop. she wasn't purposly spying on us. My hubby thought he had clicked off the link to Fab but unfortunately he had only minimised the link so being nosey she clicked open the link and there was my hubbies profile. people are right she is in the wrong for goin on the lappy without permission and she has been told about that......i personally think the fact she found what she did has been traumatising enough for her as i know it would be for me if i had have discovered my parents profile xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

...but what did your husband do wrong?!!

He password protected HIS laptop, your daughter overstepped HER boundaries and he gets it in the neck?!!

I don't get that at all. "

my hubby isn't in trouble i kinda just panicked when it first happened x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Just to set the record straight.....if u read my original post i did mention that my daughter didn't purposly go snoopin on a sex site. why would she? she managed to get on to my hubbies laptop searching for something entirely different for her own personal use even though she has her own laptop. she wasn't purposly spying on us. My hubby thought he had clicked off the link to Fab but unfortunately he had only minimised the link so being nosey she clicked open the link and there was my hubbies profile. people are right she is in the wrong for goin on the lappy without permission and she has been told about that......i personally think the fact she found what she did has been traumatising enough for her as i know it would be for me if i had have discovered my parents profile xx"

Aaah, now be fair, that wasn't your original post at all! You made it sound like your daughter was snooping.

I have three daughters, two live at home. I buy toiletries in bulk and keep them in the bottom of my wardrobe, my daughters know that and will go looking if the bathroom stock run low.

After a playmeet I washed the toys and stuck them in a Superdrug bag and put it in the wardrobe with a view to put them in the case. I got distracted and forgot.

My daughter went to get toiletries and found my toys.

Now, if I'd said my daughter went into my wardrobe and found my toys, it would appear she was snooping. The background gives it perspective.

We're not mind readers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

too late

she now knows what you get up to. what exactly would you be explaining to her from this point ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you for all the positive advice from tons of people as for the people who are laughing at my expensive, im glad i've entertained you, hopefully u won't find ureself in my position one day. I came on here for advice and yes we messed up and now we are paying the price, thank u again to all who gave the serious, genuine advice it has been very much appreciated xx"

it happens.. I was a curious teenager once..

my horrifying moment came when I was looking for a video to record something on... Knew my mum had a few in her room.. so I got the key.. snuck in and found an unlabeled video tape..

I stuck it in and realised it was porn... Being that I was curious,I fast forwarded it a bit..then realised it was my mum and a family friend..

I was embarrassed... But was my own fault. I just thought oh my god.. hope I'm still enjoying life at her age.. I never told my parents, or my sister or an thing.

I did blush a few times over it.. but as a child I always knew my parents were active..

I hope it all settles for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does it really matter how she found out?? the fact is she has and that's why i was asking for advice..

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Does it really matter how she found out?? the fact is she has and that's why i was asking for advice.."

Sigh...you asked, we answered, alls well that ends well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/05/13 18:10:53]

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Thank you for all the positive advice from tons of people as for the people who are laughing at my expensive, im glad i've entertained you, hopefully u won't find ureself in my position one day. I came on here for advice and yes we messed up and now we are paying the price, thank u again to all who gave the serious, genuine advice it has been very much appreciated xx

it happens.. I was a curious teenager once..

my horrifying moment came when I was looking for a video to record something on... Knew my mum had a few in her room.. so I got the key.. snuck in and found an unlabeled video tape..

I stuck it in and realised it was porn... Being that I was curious,I fast forwarded it a bit..then realised it was my mum and a family friend..

I was embarrassed... But was my own fault. I just thought oh my god.. hope I'm still enjoying life at her age.. I never told my parents, or my sister or an thing.

I did blush a few times over it.. but as a child I always knew my parents were active..

I hope it all settles for you. "

I found my dads contact mags when I was 17. Educational wasn't the word!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does it really matter how she found out?? the fact is she has and that's why i was asking for advice..

Sigh...you asked, we answered, alls well that ends well! "

This is good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't be arsed to read all the responses but in case no-one else has done it....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Funniest thing I've read in ages. Sorry for the situation you're now in and everything but hahahahahahahahahahaha!

why is someone elses 'misfortune' so funny..?

"

Not happening to me=funny.

How is this not funny? On any level?

15 year old girl suddenly has the shocking realisation that her parents not only had sex more than just the once, when she was conceived. But do it lots and with loads of different people!

Funny. Lighten up.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I can't be arsed to read all the responses but in case no-one else has done it....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Funniest thing I've read in ages. Sorry for the situation you're now in and everything but hahahahahahahahahahaha!

why is someone elses 'misfortune' so funny..?

Not happening to me=funny.

How is this not funny? On any level?

15 year old girl suddenly has the shocking realisation that her parents not only had sex more than just the once, when she was conceived. But do it lots and with loads of different people!

Funny. Lighten up. "

i know what funny is and dont need to be told to lighten up ta..

have grinned, smiled and even chortled enough at other's misfortunes in the past but if they then need picking up thats what one does..

your totally OTT, 'this is not that funny but if i laugh like a shit joke teller whom has never been even slightly humerous' type of funny is well ...not funny..

just my opinion..

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