FabSwingers.com forum: It bother me when...

By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

You arrange a coffee social meet with a man and he states he will be trying to get a cheeky kiss off me 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I specifically have it stated in my bio that if we do socially meet, do not expect ANYTHING from it. Not even a snog. Its a bloody cup of coffee ffs 😡😡😡

I am not an outlet for any man's lack of intimacy, kissing, hugging or whatever.

This is just my boundary that I am very clear on when we are initially chatting. 0 expectations.

What are other people's views on this?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
28 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

He should absolutely respect your rules.

Coffee is just that - a coffee and chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I am the same... ZERO expectations, a coffe is a coffee.. they shouldnt expect anything more from me. I get annoyed and stop all communication when i get the "oh im going to try and get a sneaky X Y or Z off me"....

It's nice to flirt but when i say its a coffee.. its just a social coffee to chat and see if we get along in person.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Well, perhaps he met Me previously who always says “it’s just a social!” and then I meet them and think Fwoarrrrr and the next thing you know I’m straddling them like they’re Red Rum!

If they go in for a kiss put your hand up ✋ and say “not today buddy!”

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
28 weeks ago

Tamworth

Add to that the hints about ‘if we get on… wink wink.’

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By *.Princess.Peach..Woman
28 weeks ago

North West

Personally if I’ve stated what you have and the person kept pushing, cheekily or being serious I wouldn’t meet and would prob block. I’m not into pushy behaviour, nothing should be expected. Everything is always supposed to be fun and when someone acts like that it really puts me off. I would end up feeling anxious the whole meet, so I wouldn’t put myself in that position at this point of my life.

This is all based on a social where I’ve expressed what op has.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
28 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"You arrange a coffee social meet with a man and he states he will be trying to get a cheeky kiss off me 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I specifically have it stated in my bio that if we do socially meet, do not expect ANYTHING from it. Not even a snog. Its a bloody cup of coffee ffs 😡😡😡

I am not an outlet for any man's lack of intimacy, kissing, hugging or whatever.

This is just my boundary that I am very clear on when we are initially chatting. 0 expectations.

What are other people's views on this?"
I think you are well within your tights to tell him to do one.

It's a boundary stated before the meet,it's his problem not yours if he can't adhere to this.

We stipulate the same although Mrs usually ends up snogging the guy

I'm like " what's the fucking point saying you won't then do"

Grrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

I didn't initially block him, just replied stating my point.

But I blocked him just now.

It really bothers me, esp as I have spelt it out loud and clear on my profile.

I too am at the stage in my life where I will call this kind of stuff out & not tolerate it.

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By *.Princess.Peach..Woman
28 weeks ago

North West

"I didn't initially block him, just replied stating my point.

But I blocked him just now.

It really bothers me, esp as I have spelt it out loud and clear on my profile.

I too am at the stage in my life where I will call this kind of stuff out & not tolerate it. "

It’s genuinely unfortunate it has to

Come to this but you have to prioritise yourself. Whatever your boundaries are should be respected and if anybody tries to push that and I don’t feel comfortable I’m the same, I can’t tolerate it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

"I didn't initially block him, just replied stating my point.

But I blocked him just now.

It really bothers me, esp as I have spelt it out loud and clear on my profile.

I too am at the stage in my life where I will call this kind of stuff out & not tolerate it.

It’s genuinely unfortunate it has to

You're right, it is unfortunate. I don't genuinely like blocking people but once this kind of thing happens, I can't really forget about it 😏

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By *.Princess.Peach..Woman
28 weeks ago

North West

"I didn't initially block him, just replied stating my point.

But I blocked him just now.

It really bothers me, esp as I have spelt it out loud and clear on my profile.

I too am at the stage in my life where I will call this kind of stuff out & not tolerate it.

It’s genuinely unfortunate it has to

You're right, it is unfortunate. I don't genuinely like blocking people but once this kind of thing happens, I can't really forget about it 😏"

Hopefully you are feeling ok now you have thou 😊

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By *aughtyPumpkinWoman
28 weeks ago

between Donny/Scunny/Gainsborough

I absolutely agree with the issue of guys hoping for more, and the ‘if we get on’ hints…

It’s a really difficult one for me to balance. I like to make sure a guy understands that a social comes with zero guarantees… but…

That being said, I need a guy to show interest and be willing to make a move so it’s a really fine line. I’ve had guys I’m not sure about that have made me wet the second I’ve sat with them, and guys I find seriously fucking attractive spark nothing in person.

I’m very fickle.

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By *offeeLoverMan
28 weeks ago

Cheltenham

He's in the wrong. You stated it was just a social and he shouldn't have pushed it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

"I didn't initially block him, just replied stating my point.

But I blocked him just now.

It really bothers me, esp as I have spelt it out loud and clear on my profile.

I too am at the stage in my life where I will call this kind of stuff out & not tolerate it.

It’s genuinely unfortunate it has to

You're right, it is unfortunate. I don't genuinely like blocking people but once this kind of thing happens, I can't really forget about it 😏

Hopefully you are feeling ok now you have thou 😊"

Fine. I'm always nice about rejecting a man. I can hold my head up high knowing I haven't been rude and disrespectful. So I can block with a clear conscience 😅

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By *eroLondonMan
28 weeks ago

Mayfair

Damn these confounded creatures, these pseudo-impressionable women, who lead us men a merry dance around the hallowed halls of disappointment and expectations, these phallus teasers who invite us menfolk for hot beverages with their cold hearts to satisfy our lukewarm urges.

They reject our romantic overtures when all we desire is a peck on the cheek and a soft brush of their porcelain-smooth hands against our masculine thighs.

We yearn to be tactile but they spurn us with everything that this facile.

Women are meant to be adored, 'but never meant to be understood. 💔

My quest goes on... ...

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By *oeBeansMan
28 weeks ago

Derby

I agree with you, also, who wants to kiss someone with coffee breath 🤢

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By *he Silver FuxMan
28 weeks ago

Utero

"I agree with you, also, who wants to kiss someone with coffee breath 🤢"

I hope you have mints Joe ‘Coffee’ Beans 😄

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By *ad NannaWoman
28 weeks ago

East London

I've changed my mind about a social because of similar circumstances.

I've had a social where he tried to look down my top and wanted me to walk to the bar so he could watch my bum move. Then he said he couldn't actually accommodate so there wasn't really any point in the social, which was his idea.

I stopped having socials after another man said he could accommodate but when it came up while we were having a drink in London he said he had moved in with flatmates. Then, as we walked back to the station, his eyes were darting around and he said it was a shame I couldn't give him a blow job in an alley somewhere.

I've only had one social since, after a lot of talking on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

"You arrange a coffee social meet with a man and he states he will be trying to get a cheeky kiss off me 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I specifically have it stated in my bio that if we do socially meet, do not expect ANYTHING from it. Not even a snog. Its a bloody cup of coffee ffs 😡😡😡

I am not an outlet for any man's lack of intimacy, kissing, hugging or whatever.

This is just my boundary that I am very clear on when we are initially chatting. 0 expectations.

What are other people's views on this?"

If you’re trying to get something like a kiss or more then you have fundamentally misunderstood or outright ignored what a SOCIAL meet is!

Huge red flag, you won’t be able to trust that person to stick to any boundaries

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By *oughmanMan
28 weeks ago

Sunderland

Bloody hell 🤦. Some people just don't get the prospect of boundaries do they.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

A coffee is just that.... end of.

If there is a connection then the build up to the next meet is all part of the fun

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By *eyond PurityCouple
28 weeks ago

East Lincs

A social is to see if you get on in person, for both sides.

So I never quite understand people being forward beforehand as it suggests they don’t care what you look like, they are going to get as much out of the social as they can.

If it’s agreed between you both you want to take things further then fine but expectations beforehand are a red flag.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
28 weeks ago

Central

It's best that they forewarn you that they don't respect your boundaries, so you can cancel and avoid them

I posted this week about a quick date I'd arranged, when I was going to have separate drinks meetings with 3 or 4 guys. 1 came with an overnight bag and explained he expected to go to a club and spend the night together

Despite it having been explicitly discussed as meeting for a drink and chat, for a few minutes only

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By *oeBeansMan
28 weeks ago

Derby

"I agree with you, also, who wants to kiss someone with coffee breath 🤢

I hope you have mints Joe ‘Coffee’ Beans 😄

Never leave home without them 😅

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By *issmorganWoman
28 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I think you've done the right thing op.

You were clear in what the social was and what would happen and they couldn't respect that. Makes me wonder what they'd be like on real life.

I'm so easily put off people,chatting for a good while first usually means they out themselves, if they're dodgy.

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By *itgingermanMan
28 weeks ago

Rotherham

Sorry but I can’t stand people like that.

I can be lead and dominant but I always wait for the other person to make the first move, it’s respectful.

That person your meeting with might not like you in that way, or they might fancy you, never assume otherwise

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By *ellinever70Woman
28 weeks ago

Ayrshire

In some ways, I see it as harmless enough if it's just them saying it when swapping messages

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By *atthew78Man
28 weeks ago

Winsford

Always be respectful of boundaries and rules it's the polite way to be

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By *ricky ToolMan
28 weeks ago

Craigavon

To me a social is just a social. I did have a social develop into something more. But it was very much her terms. "Have you anything planned afterwards.." she asked!

However thatbonly happened once. Its mostly just a coffee and chat

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By *es_ivebeen_hereb4Man
28 weeks ago

I'm always around here

"You arrange a coffee social meet with a man and he states he will be trying to get a cheeky kiss off me 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I specifically have it stated in my bio that if we do socially meet, do not expect ANYTHING from it. Not even a snog. Its a bloody cup of coffee ffs 😡😡😡

I am not an outlet for any man's lack of intimacy, kissing, hugging or whatever.

This is just my boundary that I am very clear on when we are initially chatting. 0 expectations.

What are other people's views on this?"

Agreed.

Actually id like to get to the coffee in the first place!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

Thanks for the replies.

I feel validated xx

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By *agic.MMan
28 weeks ago

Kent/London

" I might try and get a cheeky kiss from you 😜🤭😊" - sounds like they are just being flirtatious...it's different to them actually trying it in real life when it's not a reciprocated desire. Your boundaries are your boundaries and should be respected, but I've never had a conversation with a woman on fab where they didn't turn it into flirting at some point- I think that's all it is, people trying to flirt...it's just that some aren't very good at it 👀

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By (user no longer on site) OP
28 weeks ago

"" I might try and get a cheeky kiss from you 😜🤭😊" - sounds like they are just being flirtatious...it's different to them actually trying it in real life when it's not a reciprocated desire. Your boundaries are your boundaries and should be respected, but I've never had a conversation with a woman on fab where they didn't turn it into flirting at some point- I think that's all it is, people trying to flirt...it's just that some aren't very good at it 👀"

Im my exp on here, they do try to lob the gob on me! I've had to push guys away.

I don't flirt on here at the moment 'cause I'm not meeting. Its not fair to flirt & then turn around and tell them that.

All that any man chatting to me at the moment is getting is benign boring chat 🤣🤣 If I'm feeling up to a coffee meet AND the chats are going well, I will meet.

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By *ad NannaWoman
28 weeks ago

East London

That's fair enough, but I'd say don't expect a kiss, and read the room.

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By *ynamite500Man
28 weeks ago

Angus

I've been on a few socials and that's quite literally all they were... Don't get me wrong, i'm always open to a kiss or something more, however if the lady isn't putting or throwing signals or hints, then i am most certainly not going to attempt anything at all, nor would i imply anything. Its not difficult to read a situation and if you cant read it, you simply just don't go there. Let them lead the direction in which the are comfortable with .Can still have a laugh and enjoyable time with a like minded person without anything intimate happening. ☺️

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By *ornucopiaMan
28 weeks ago

Bexley

[Removed by poster at 30/10/25 20:45:29]

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By *ornucopiaMan
28 weeks ago

Bexley

"I've been on a few socials and that's quite literally all they were... Don't get me wrong, i'm always open to a kiss or something more, however if the lady isn't putting or throwing signals or hints, then i am most certainly not going to attempt anything at all, nor would i imply anything. Its not difficult to read a situation and if you cant read it, you simply just don't go there. Let them lead the direction in which the are comfortable with .Can still have a laugh and enjoyable time with a like minded person without anything intimate happening. ☺️"

Don't know about kissing...

...It looks more like arse licking would be on the agenda, though..

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
28 weeks ago

Brum

I don’t like coffee.

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By *ex HolesMan
28 weeks ago

Up North

There goes my idea of sticking 2 fingers up your ringpiece out of the window

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By *atthew78Man
28 weeks ago

Winsford

If I'm out for a drink it fresh orange or Guinness depending where I am

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By *adyBugsWoman
28 weeks ago

not local even if it says I am

Agreeing to a social is exactly that. There should be ZERO expectations of more and both parties communication and behaviour should reflect that until you reach a point of deciding if there will be more. Anyone who believes coffee is more than coffee is a walking red flag and I wouldn’t feel safe meeting them.

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By *ootyfruityCouple
28 weeks ago

andover

Totally agree, we like a first social without any physical involvement, prefer to stimulate our/ their minds before their body. We’ve never met anyone a second time that pushed for more on the first social

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