FabSwingers.com forum: Seeing the funny side ...

By *un_Juice OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

What job descriptions really mean.

1. "Competitive Salary": We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

2. "Join our fast-paced company": We have no time to train you.

3. "Casual work atmosphere": We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

4. "Some overtime required": Some every night and some every weekend.

5. "Duties will vary": Anyone in the office can boss you around.

6. "Must have an eye for detail": We have no quality assurance.

7. "Career-minded": Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

8. "Apply in person": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.

9. "Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience": You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.

10. "Problem-solving skills a must": You're walking into perpetual chaos.

11. "Requires team leadership skills": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

12. "Good communication skills": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You forgot:

13. Great Benefits! All the stationary you can nick!

14. Flexible Holidays! You'd best be flexible as everyone else gets school hols, xmas and new year!

15. Regular Performance Reviews! Expect to be told just how friggin useless you are daily by line management and colleagues!