FabSwingers.com forum: Measuring yourself when it curves to one side and has different girths as it goes

By *xDecadent_Coloursxx OP Man
35 weeks ago

Glasgow

Genuine question: how the Hell do you accurately measure yourself when it curves to the left, and has different girths at different points of the shaft?

Some people have asked my size and I feel like I don't really know how to answer.

Anyone that's good at measuring stuff, please enlighten me.

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By *ink vixenCouple
35 weeks ago

Medway

Find a bent can of fosters or a tv remote that has different thicknesses

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
35 weeks ago

Central

How long is a piece of string?

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By *avecooper69Man
35 weeks ago

Benfleet

Use a metal or fabric measuring tape that bends !!

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By *exy RexyMan
35 weeks ago

Up North

Question OP:

Does it curve the opposite way if you travel over the equator?

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By *avecooper69Man
35 weeks ago

Benfleet

Haha

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By *ou only live onceMan
35 weeks ago

London

Don't you have to multiply by 3.14 recurring or something like that?

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By *hortieWoman
35 weeks ago

Northampton/south coast

You got a cock.

Use it.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
35 weeks ago

Niche

I think you go by volume displaced in a measuring jug.

Or whack your wang on digital kitchen scales and give them the equivalent in beef...

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By *ack DawXXXMan
35 weeks ago

Weybridge

Just take a guess and then add a couple of "fab inches", and bingo. You have your answer!

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By *exy RexyMan
35 weeks ago

Up North

Measure it from your arse hole

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
35 weeks ago

Cardiff

Take as many measurements as possible and find the exact volume

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
35 weeks ago

Cardiff

I implore everyone only measure their willy by volume from henceforth

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
35 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Asking for a friend?

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By *onx89Man
35 weeks ago

North West

"Just take a guess and then add a couple of "fab inches", and bingo. You have your answer!"

Add "fab inches" ?!! 🤔 I think I might have been too honest about my details? Would you recommend at least round up to nearest inch 😂

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By *ildoshagginsWoman
35 weeks ago

South Wales

You're requirements suggest you need a material tape measure to navigate the bends

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By *ildoshagginsWoman
35 weeks ago

South Wales

*your ffs

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By *ermite12ukMan
35 weeks ago

Solihull and Romford

Pro tip regarding: Curving to one side and different girths: Don't hold it so tight, jus sayin.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

If you're actually curious...

You can model it using s=R(theta), where s is your length, R is the radius of this curvature, and theta is the angle between 2 radii connecting to a centre point.

Alternatively, you can just grab a string, curve it along the shaft, then un-curve and measure that.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 29/10/25 06:28:18]

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By *tu.xMan
35 weeks ago

around

Easy answer just say ish 7 ish 8ish

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By *ddieg85Man
35 weeks ago

Cumbria

A surprisingly interesting conversation this! Nearly as difficult as measuring a mountain if you're curved and irregular in girth it looks like.

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By *een WatcherMan
35 weeks ago

Bradford

Well if you not too drastically bent use a fabric tape measure and as for width measure at the widest point because that's how wide a hole would be needed to fully insert it. And if you are drastically bent I'd expect a come back

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By *allySlinkyWoman
35 weeks ago

Leeds

" And if you are drastically bent I'd expect a come back "

Drastically bent would resemble a Cumberland ring sausage

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