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should we lower our standards

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have just received a first message off some older gentleman whose language about what he wanted to do to me was fairly choice and ended with me blocking him after telling him I was offended.

I know the nature of this site and have had quite erotic chats with guys on here though none have ever offended me as this man's message did.

Is it wrong to expect a general message first and only progress once happy to x

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By * control youMan
over a year ago

swindon

Just cos its a swing site doesn't mean we should be crude ot rude gd on u for blockin him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never lower your standards !!!

So many in here will appreciate any attention at all so let them engage in conversation with the likes of that man.

I rarely chat now as I haven't found many who mentally stimulate me and visually too , however this doesn't mean ill chat to just anyone because of it.

This makes more sense in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not wrong to expect civility, and ignorance doesnt have age limitations.

Good on ya for blocking the clown

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Luckily those type of messages are not the norm. Most people try and engage in conversation first. Remember that not everyone actually wants to meet up and just get off on talking dirty to others.

I would much rather they talk dirty in my ear whilst we are naked together.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

No you are not wrong to expect common decency.

No one would accept it in reality and I don't like the line of thought that if people are on here they are game for anything and don't require simple manners.

Thankfully not all males here are of that ilk.

Some have the brains to pretend to have manners

Like wot I does

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Never lower your standards, you deserve better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just wait for the good guys...

There's 4 of us, one on shift at anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for rudeness.

Ps, I'm totally 100% available. Hint hint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never lower your standards & there is never any reason to be rude to someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat it all like a night out in pub.

Some are there to just converse with friends they know, some are raucous and nothing more than vexatious, some are friendly but don't wish to get to know you more and then amongst it all you may get chatting to someone you click with.

Doesn't happen everytime you go out but it doesn't stop you enjoying the experience which you should do, otherwise what's the point ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not wrong at all! Never lower your standards! Flirting and erotic chats once you get to know someone are totally different to crude, rude and disgusting in some cases. I don't think there is a need for it at all, no matter what this site is. A bit of politeness and respect isn't much to ask. I had a very rude message last night and he got blocked immediately. Had he asked me that question on a night out he probably would have had his face slapped!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Treat it all like a night out in pub. "

So that's why I'm addicted to this site!!

Glad you explained it, was beginning to think I was a pervert!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the guys on here are quite nice and you can have a decent chat with.

Had an older man message me with one line 'u could earn'. I was mortified. Didn't reply just blocked immediately.

Yes this is a swingers site but manners and decency is essential! You wouldn't approach someone in pub and be graphic or rude why do it on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Treat it all like a night out in pub.

So that's why I'm addicted to this site!!

Glad you explained it, was beginning to think I was a pervert!"

Maybe I'm in denial

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By *lle adie 2Woman
over a year ago

newcastle upon tyne

Sorry but i have standards and wont meet just anybody..

ha ha maybe thats why men go in huff with me, but i coluldnt care a less what these people think of me..

and id never reply to anybody who was so crude at first introduction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just about standards, it's about horses for courses. For some people his opening email would be perfect and for others it's disgusting. Some expect manners and grammar others like cock shots with explicit language. If it's not for you, then it's not just move on.

The beauty of this site is there is something for everyone and just because it's not your personal thing doesn't make it wrong, it's just not right for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes this is a swingers site but manners and decency is essential! You wouldn't approach someone in pub and be graphic or rude why do it on here?"

Except that people sometimes do and it sometimes works. Just because it doesn't work on you (or indeed me) doesn't mean that nobody does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like many things in life people will soften their standards when needs must….

However that’s not a reason to abandon good manners….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like many things in life people will soften their standards when needs must….

However that’s not a reason to abandon good manners….

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people may like that sort of message and im sure the sender didnt intend for it to be offensive..

the block is exactly there for this type of situation.. we are all different afterall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think a few people tend to lower their standards,many have but i for one wouldnt and manners cost nothing ,just because we are on a swinging site doesnt mean that you should accept rudeness from anyone.

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By *ickloverMan
over a year ago

Devizes

I'm always polite in my first message, I've been over it a hundred times, good grammar , well punctuated no swear words, nothing too graphic.... Still gets bloody deleted 85% of the time though ..

Maybe it would be better if I just sent A " fancy a fuck " message !!! Lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I have just received a first message off some older gentleman whose language about what he wanted to do to me was fairly choice and ended with me blocking him after telling him I was offended.

I know the nature of this site and have had quite erotic chats with guys on here though none have ever offended me as this man's message did.

Is it wrong to expect a general message first and only progress once happy to x"
Single guys are advised they need to stand out, be original they are told! But again I am sure the person who messaged you meant no offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm always polite in my first message, I've been over it a hundred times, good grammar , well punctuated no swear words, nothing too graphic.... Still gets bloody deleted 85% of the time though ..

Maybe it would be better if I just sent A " fancy a fuck " message !!! Lol "

Strange as it might seem, that may well work on someone, however, is that someone you'd want to have sex with?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I'm always polite in my first message, I've been over it a hundred times, good grammar , well punctuated no swear words, nothing too graphic.... Still gets bloody deleted 85% of the time though ..

Maybe it would be better if I just sent A " fancy a fuck " message !!! Lol "

Been over it a hundred times? Is it the same one lol

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By *ickloverMan
over a year ago

Devizes


"I'm always polite in my first message, I've been over it a hundred times, good grammar , well punctuated no swear words, nothing too graphic.... Still gets bloody deleted 85% of the time though ..

Maybe it would be better if I just sent A " fancy a fuck " message !!! Lol

Been over it a hundred times? Is it the same one lol "

It's a generic message, but I read every profile and add or remove parts of the message that aren't relevant to the lady I am messaging, I also include any code words that have been requested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a site open to all n just like winning a xmas hamper in a raffle -

Some of the stuff u will like n sum u won't. It's wots called life - ya just gotta lump it n toddle onwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you do get strange messages on here from time to time,i have had extreme to funny but its all good as not much shocks me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you do get strange messages on here from time to time,i have had extreme to funny but its all good as not much shocks me "
I get nice messages and think myself very lucky after reading what some say in forums x

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

you shouldnt lower your standards no i have just refused to do a meet this week after swapping numbers with a couple and not hearing off them until they were having sex at 1am when they thought it would be just what i wanted to hear i have now refused to meet them as i find it rude and im not a piece of meat. We have standards for a reason stick to them you deserve respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it would depend on if I liked the person and profile, if I got a "fancy a fuck" off someone that didnt match what I was looking for then I would probably think he was a wanker but if I liked the profile then I would think good on him for getting straight to the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have just received a first message off some older gentleman whose language about what he wanted to do to me was fairly choice and ended with me blocking him after telling him I was offended.

I know the nature of this site and have had quite erotic chats with guys on here though none have ever offended me as this man's message did.

Is it wrong to expect a general message first and only progress once happy to x"
No its not wrong to expect a decent general message. Ive had as have we all messages that say want to f...k? Not really nice and if they want more, then dont send a horrible message.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

No! Never lower your standards. It may be a swinging site but that doesn't mean manners disappear. Or it shouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It was more explicit than 'wanna Fuck' and used the c word a fair few times.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"It was more explicit than 'wanna Fuck' and used the c word a fair few times."

he said Christmas..?

we would have banned him also..

actually in all seriousness, never lower ones standards..

you did the right thing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people need a lesson in humility. Having a non vanilla past time doesn't open you up to abuse or being degraded.

Sounds like he won't get very far until he sorts himself out. That said, if he's old there's probably not much hope for him

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