FabSwingers.com forum: 'Kin 'ell, I've only got myself a fecking date!

By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

One of my best mates and her 2nd husband have been split for a coupla years - my mate knows my history (she was with me for a lot of it!) and knows I think her ex is a cutie and she made sure we had each other's numbers not long after they split.

She texted me tonight to see if I'd be open to going for tea with J sometime next week so I said yeah, just been on the phone to him and we're going for a Chinese on Wednesday

So, bearing in mind J knows a lot of my history too (I shagged their best man before the wedding at their house)...how do I play it? Phone convo was a bit on the sexy side but I'm not after a relationship, just a bit of fun...all and any views more than welcome (dons me armour)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tread carefully in case he wants more than NSA I'd say. Have fun!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Have a Chinese and see how it goes. One step at a time...

and a full report back to the forum, please.

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running. "

And if he gets down on both knees just thrust me crotch into his face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoy,like you say he knows your background...be you ,have fun and watch his prawn crackers

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running.

And if he gets down on both knees just thrust me crotch into his face

Don't get it confused with your crutch.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running.

And if he gets down on both knees just thrust me crotch into his face

Don't get it confused with your crutch."

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running.

And if he gets down on both knees just thrust me crotch into his face

Don't get it confused with your crutch."

Good point, I'll do me best - only have a stick as a bit of a security blanket now just in case I get a bit of a wobble on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" And if he gets down on both knees just thrust me crotch into his face

Make sure you've finished your meal first as you're likely to get thrown out the chinese once he does that

Enjoy - the date that is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woohoo congrats!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Have a Chinese and see how it goes. One step at a time...

and a full report back to the forum, please."

Meal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shag n smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoy sweetie xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running. "

fuck I best change my on the knee plans tomorra lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick a chopstick up his bum as he takes you roughly over your prawn crackers.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running.

fuck I best change my on the knee plans tomorra lol"

Yes, yes you should.

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"shag n smile"

I seldom stop smiling when I'm shagging

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Stick a chopstick up his bum as he takes you roughly over your prawn crackers. "

Was thinking more a spring roll for girth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go with the flow and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats a date i've forgotton lol. good luck xx

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Have a Chinese and see how it goes. One step at a time...

and a full report back to the forum, please.

Meal?"

I took it that Lickety meant a meal...maybe having one of the waiters might not be on the "10 things to do on a first date" list

Although....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Ohhh I hope it goes well xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Have a Chinese and see how it goes. One step at a time...

and a full report back to the forum, please.

Meal?

I took it that Lickety meant a meal...maybe having one of the waiters might not be on the "10 things to do on a first date" list

Although...."

You'd know exactly what he's prepared for if you add that to the date.

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

and a full report back to the forum, please."

***REPORT FOLLOWS***

After texts informing me my date was removing his knob cheese with a wire-brush, a somewhat trepidatious Caz gave her bits a wipe on the curtains and decamped from Arse End for a night of (hopefully) debauched fun and a Chinese (meal, not waiter); wine flowed reasonably merrily, craic was good, managed not to get thrown out of the restaurant nor the "Star Wars" Bar (but the locals looked at me funny for being an offcomer and demanded to know from whence I came)

Once back at his, managed to spill an entire glass of white wine down myself as we headed for the bedroom - fortunately the gear was coming off. The next 15 hours were spent mostly horizontal with occasional brew breaks - breakfast took 2 hours to prepare due to the mammoth Cumberland sausage I took as a gift taking that long to cook (and various amounts of fun during the prep).

Home now, and resting with a medicinal glass of wine to soothe my aching hip and back.

Both parties agreed was well worth the 15 year wait and will be happening again sometime soon, and my mate's new husband has confirmed he will never leave her as he's terrified I'll be after him if he does

***REPORT ENDS***

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Oooo get you!

Way to go lady! Hope plenty more fun comes your way from this and youre happy and careful with your feelings xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you had a good time

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Ah sounds great!!

)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

No waiters involved in any of the fun at all then?

It's great he wasn't intimidated by a ginormous Cumberland.

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows

So I take it the ball gag, cattle prod and champagne bottle sized strapon didnt make an appearance till after the chinese meal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good to hear you had a good time!

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"No waiters involved in any of the fun at all then?

It's great he wasn't intimidated by a ginormous Cumberland."

Nope, as it's North Cumbria (and almost more rural than Arse End, if that's possible), one or both of us was probably related to restaurant staff regardless of the fact that they were Chinese and we're Caucasians...

And the sausage was great Lickety, I'll bring you some next time you're in the vicinity (they're By Appointment to HM, down in dat London, you know)

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"So I take it the ball gag, cattle prod and champagne bottle sized strapon didnt make an appearance till after the chinese meal

I didn't take my shagbag! Didn't want to scare him off (but have promised Round 2 will include ropes and a strapon)

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"That's the problem being a happily single sex maniac - when we do get a romantic approach we have no idea what to do.

Play it friendly and flirtatious, like you always are. But if he gets down on one knee, I'd start running. "

What if he is picking up the napkin

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I laughed through-out this thread! Well done Caz, for at least having the food first!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"No waiters involved in any of the fun at all then?

It's great he wasn't intimidated by a ginormous Cumberland.

And the sausage was great Lickety, I'll bring you some next time you're in the vicinity (they're By Appointment to HM, down in dat London, you know)

I'm halfway there on Monday night.

Well, that's dating the BlondeCaz way - it sounds better than swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The oldest swinger in town waddles off on her Zimmer frame in to the sunset and the sanctuary of the Darby and Joan club.

It was good while it lasted caz

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"The oldest swinger in town waddles off on her Zimmer frame in to the sunset and the sanctuary of the Darby and Joan club.

It was good while it lasted caz

Ha! As if!

Not ready to hang up my swinging boots anytime soon, got my uniformed FB coming round tomorrow for a bit of fun...

And you'd better still be very afraid for when I visit The Big Smoke later in the year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The oldest swinger in town waddles off on her Zimmer frame in to the sunset and the sanctuary of the Darby and Joan club.

It was good while it lasted caz

Ha! As if!

Not ready to hang up my swinging boots anytime soon, got my uniformed FB coming round tomorrow for a bit of fun...

And you'd better still be very afraid for when I visit The Big Smoke later in the year

"
ready willing and waiting baby

Might even rinse out my gold lurex posing pouch in anticipation.

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"The oldest swinger in town waddles off on her Zimmer frame in to the sunset and the sanctuary of the Darby and Joan club.

It was good while it lasted caz

Ha! As if!

Not ready to hang up my swinging boots anytime soon, got my uniformed FB coming round tomorrow for a bit of fun...

And you'd better still be very afraid for when I visit The Big Smoke later in the year

ready willing and waiting baby

Might even rinse out my gold lurex posing pouch in anticipation.

***swoons prettily***

And by the way, isn't the next avatar challenge Dr Who, rather than Star Wars???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like Star Wars

I move in mysterious ways

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"I like Star Wars

I move in mysterious ways"

Heavens above, God has been posting on the forums for a while and I never realised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like you had a marvellous time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Star Wars

I move in mysterious ways

Heavens above, God has been posting on the forums for a while and I never realised

Taking the piss you are!

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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"I like Star Wars

I move in mysterious ways

Heavens above, God has been posting on the forums for a while and I never realised

Taking the piss you are!"

So now you're fecking Yoda!

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