FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Love.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just go for it!

i knew my ex wanted to say it first, but i beat him too it. It felt right and when i physically said the words to him it felt even better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"just go for it!

i knew my ex wanted to say it first, but i beat him too it. It felt right and when i physically said the words to him it felt even better."

I think I know deep down he doesn't feel the same way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't open myself up like that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

its all down hill from the love word.........it sucks an not the good way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wouldn't open myself up like that"

Meaning?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I feel it, I'll say it....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response. "

I said i first, sort of lol I did say it first but I made him guess hehe and he said it back so tell him how you feel, he may feel the same if he doesn't he will in his own time x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response. "

I wont utter those two words ever again unless ive been drugged....

I was in a position like yours 10yrs ago and said them.............

Wish i hadnt

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I wouldn't open myself up like that"

new I should have kept my mouth shut.........god damn it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Go for it!!! . I hate to be the one to say it but if he doesn't feel the same way better to find out now than later down the line when you have become more attached and committed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just go for it!

i knew my ex wanted to say it first, but i beat him too it. It felt right and when i physically said the words to him it felt even better.

I think I know deep down he doesn't feel the same way. "

He might surprise you. Just have a phone call and casually sneak in a 'luv ya' just before you say goodbye.. test the water

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

I wont utter those two words ever again unless ive been drugged....

I was in a position like yours 10yrs ago and said them.............

Wish i hadnt "

im with ya

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

I wont utter those two words ever again unless ive been drugged....

I was in a position like yours 10yrs ago and said them.............

Wish i hadnt "

What happened?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I wouldn't open myself up like that

Meaning?"

meaning 1s you say it your leaving your self wide open to be stamped all over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't open myself up like that

Meaning?"

Meaning i would keep it to myself unless they had said it to me and i felt the same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you never say it, you can never experience the wonder that is being in love and being loved.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well lets say that after encouraging me to say "it"

He used it to his advantage and took advantage of my feelings. I was very stupid and put up with crap no one should. I then found out he was shagging a mutual friend (woman) and it all went tits up........

All the lies and deceit was what i hated the most.

Im not saying it will go bad for you but

Just be careful ok

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you never say it, you can never experience the wonder that is being in love and being loved.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

what I think is really interesting is the diffrence in age of the posters here an how they think differently

guess life really does sour us........sad really

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you never say it, you can never experience the wonder that is being in love and being loved.

"

I learned alot through my mistake so wont ever ever get bitten again....for some the "love" thing works...

For others , it doesnt.

Im one of the "others"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well lets say that after encouraging me to say "it"

He used it to his advantage and took advantage of my feelings. I was very stupid and put up with crap no one should. I then found out he was shagging a mutual friend (woman) and it all went tits up........

All the lies and deceit was what i hated the most.

Im not saying it will go bad for you but

Just be careful ok "

What a cunt. Thing is if he doesn't feel the same I dunno if I'd end it or not, I know that sounds horrible. But my future is at stake here. I want to know if I've got a future with him and if I haven't then I'm gonna have to move back down South as I really haven't got nothing keeping me here apart from him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Well lets say that after encouraging me to say "it"

He used it to his advantage and took advantage of my feelings. I was very stupid and put up with crap no one should. I then found out he was shagging a mutual friend (woman) and it all went tits up........

All the lies and deceit was what i hated the most.

Im not saying it will go bad for you but

Just be careful ok

What a cunt. Thing is if he doesn't feel the same I dunno if I'd end it or not, I know that sounds horrible. But my future is at stake here. I want to know if I've got a future with him and if I haven't then I'm gonna have to move back down South as I really haven't got nothing keeping me here apart from him. "

tel him your moving anyway you will see soon engh how he really feels about you..... best of luck xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I wish all the best in your decision , whatever happens

crossed fingers for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I wish all the best in your decision , whatever happens

crossed fingers for you "

Thank you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want kids...or one lol

I cant be in a serious relationship if there is no possibility of this

late starter in sex and a late starter wanting what I know will complete me in manners

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *msmithWoman
over a year ago

bristol


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response. "

Oh god.. I know what you mean.....

I'm kinda in the same situation.. We even have similar timeline.. Met him end of last year.. Met him more frequent since January.. Then it was almost everyday..

But I can't even say I miss him when I'm away for work.. I feel like my chest tightens when I wanted to tell him I miss him..

Don't think I'll ever admit to the L word.. I keep on telling myself, maybe it's just a phase? That I shouldn't be deluding myself.. That he can drop me anytime and that hopefully I can do the same..

I soo don't want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone.. Ever..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxtapositionMan
over a year ago

CARDIFF

If you feel it, say it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best. "

then theres ur answer.......fuck him off an move on sorry to be so feelingless but sounds like you need it saying like it is x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best. "

oi non of this negativity, think positive, chin up, tits out and just say 'you know what Mr, i love you and im not gonna hide my feelings. To the world you are one person but to me you are my world! I love you with every beat of my heart and i think you should know this, your remarkable and make me feel truly amazing. Thank you'

then just either see his jaw hit the floor in shock, or prepare for the soppiest kiss of ya life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my fella were friends then became friends with benefits (both had just come out of long term relationships) few months later I developed feelings for him so told him didn't see him after for a couple of weeks think he needed to realise what he really wanted but needless to say we've been together 9 years now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

Oh god.. I know what you mean.....

I'm kinda in the same situation.. We even have similar timeline.. Met him end of last year.. Met him more frequent since January.. Then it was almost everyday..

But I can't even say I miss him when I'm away for work.. I feel like my chest tightens when I wanted to tell him I miss him..

Don't think I'll ever admit to the L word.. I keep on telling myself, maybe it's just a phase? That I shouldn't be deluding myself.. That he can drop me anytime and that hopefully I can do the same..

I soo don't want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone.. Ever.. "

wish it was me you was talking about........lifes a bitch but heyho it does go on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

Oh god.. I know what you mean.....

I'm kinda in the same situation.. We even have similar timeline.. Met him end of last year.. Met him more frequent since January.. Then it was almost everyday..

But I can't even say I miss him when I'm away for work.. I feel like my chest tightens when I wanted to tell him I miss him..

Don't think I'll ever admit to the L word.. I keep on telling myself, maybe it's just a phase? That I shouldn't be deluding myself.. That he can drop me anytime and that hopefully I can do the same..

I soo don't want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone.. Ever.. "

I have been seeing someone for nearly 6 years now and love the man to pieces i really do but im not in love with him.......big difference .

He has his life and i have mine and every now and then we get together and have some serious fun and time sat chatting, dining etc.

I love those times we have but wouldnt want them every day.

It suits us both

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When you're in a relationship, whether it being a swinging/open/Vanilla, do you have the courage to say "I love you" first? Or do you wait till your partner says it first?

Does it matter which sex(i.e Male or Female) says it first?

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

I've known my boyfriend since December but met since beginning of January. We were only fiends with benefits at first but recently got into a swinging relationship in March. But I started to develop feelings in Feb but realised I was in love with him late April I guess.

I'm wanting to say how I feel but too scared of his response.

Oh god.. I know what you mean.....

I'm kinda in the same situation.. We even have similar timeline.. Met him end of last year.. Met him more frequent since January.. Then it was almost everyday..

But I can't even say I miss him when I'm away for work.. I feel like my chest tightens when I wanted to tell him I miss him..

Don't think I'll ever admit to the L word.. I keep on telling myself, maybe it's just a phase? That I shouldn't be deluding myself.. That he can drop me anytime and that hopefully I can do the same..

I soo don't want to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone.. Ever.. "

Nah trust me, I thought it was a phrase myself till I had a panic attack at work because I bottled stuff inside.

It feels like I'm not allowed to have these deep feelings I guess. I don't even feel like his fucking girlfriend, I also feel stupid and say that I miss him. *bangs head against brick wall*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Me and my fella were friends then became friends with benefits (both had just come out of long term relationships) few months later I developed feelings for him so told him didn't see him after for a couple of weeks think he needed to realise what he really wanted but needless to say we've been together 9 years now "

Aww that's nice to hear, congrats.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best.

oi non of this negativity, think positive, chin up, tits out and just say 'you know what Mr, i love you and im not gonna hide my feelings. To the world you are one person but to me you are my world! I love you with every beat of my heart and i think you should know this, your remarkable and make me feel truly amazing. Thank you'

then just either see his jaw hit the floor in shock, or prepare for the soppiest kiss of ya life "

Thing is he is pretty damn busy and he doesn't have time to Skype with me let alone meeting me in person. I'd wanna say it face to face, but got to wait another 2 weeks till I see him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see it this way, if he wanted you, loved you and couldnt wait to see you and be with you.........He ....would make that effort .And you shouldnt be feeling the way you do.

That aint love in my book.

Thats using someone and disregrding their feelings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best.

oi non of this negativity, think positive, chin up, tits out and just say 'you know what Mr, i love you and im not gonna hide my feelings. To the world you are one person but to me you are my world! I love you with every beat of my heart and i think you should know this, your remarkable and make me feel truly amazing. Thank you'

then just either see his jaw hit the floor in shock, or prepare for the soppiest kiss of ya life

Thing is he is pretty damn busy and he doesn't have time to Skype with me let alone meeting me in person. I'd wanna say it face to face, but got to wait another 2 weeks till I see him."

That ain't love that sounds like someone that can't be bothered to make an effort...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I see it this way, if he wanted you, loved you and couldnt wait to see you and be with you.........He ....would make that effort .And you shouldnt be feeling the way you do.

That aint love in my book.

Thats using someone and disregrding their feelings. "

Sigh, maybe you're right.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best.

oi non of this negativity, think positive, chin up, tits out and just say 'you know what Mr, i love you and im not gonna hide my feelings. To the world you are one person but to me you are my world! I love you with every beat of my heart and i think you should know this, your remarkable and make me feel truly amazing. Thank you'

then just either see his jaw hit the floor in shock, or prepare for the soppiest kiss of ya life

Thing is he is pretty damn busy and he doesn't have time to Skype with me let alone meeting me in person. I'd wanna say it face to face, but got to wait another 2 weeks till I see him.

That ain't love that sounds like someone that can't be bothered to make an effort... "

meh.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *msmithWoman
over a year ago

bristol

Damn it.. Writing that just made me have a crying fit... Thankfully, being a girl, I can blame it on hormones..

I hate the feeling of being emotionally vulnerable.. Like what if he doesn't feel the same.. Heck, I don't even know what I feel, it kinda changes everyday.. Some days I feel like, I like what we have.. It's comfortable.. But at times, I feel kinda sad, like when I want to say I miss him but feel like I can't because I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.. But at the same time wishing he would miss me too..

To the OP, I think I know how you're feeling-ish.. Advice wise, I think you know your heart better than anyone else, and you know him better than you might think.. If you're questioning whether you should, it might mean that it's not time yet? Maybe it's tomorrow, maybe next week, months? Hopefully, when the time comes, you will get the answer you want..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *msmithWoman
over a year ago

bristol

[Removed by poster at 26/05/13 17:12:00]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Holy shit I've just phoned him and he's coming over...my heart...beating...so...fast

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep it calm and neutral.

Then see what comes up

good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he reads the forums. chances are he knows already

Hope your talk goes well !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Holy shit I've just phoned him and he's coming over...my heart...beating...so...fast"

Seriously good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck it worked out for me hope it does for you too x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well...It went better than I thought!

He is the most awesome dude ever and I love him to bits.

Thanks folks for the fed back.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well...It went better than I thought!

He is the most awesome dude ever and I love him to bits.

Thanks folks for the fed back. "

happy for you hun xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxtapositionMan
over a year ago

CARDIFF


"He'll just probably pat me on the back and wish me all the best.

oi non of this negativity, think positive, chin up, tits out and just say 'you know what Mr, i love you and im not gonna hide my feelings. To the world you are one person but to me you are my world! I love you with every beat of my heart and i think you should know this, your remarkable and make me feel truly amazing. Thank you'

then just either see his jaw hit the floor in shock, or prepare for the soppiest kiss of ya life

Thing is he is pretty damn busy and he doesn't have time to Skype with me let alone meeting me in person. I'd wanna say it face to face, but got to wait another 2 weeks till I see him.

That ain't love that sounds like someone that can't be bothered to make an effort... "

I must say I have to second that comment

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't say it to my ex. He said he could see it in my eyes and he was right x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww glad it went ok for you , you can relax a bit now the hardest bits over xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top